Junior/Senior Couple and who pays for prom

[SydSim]

DD has her first boyfriend. She's a senior and he's a junior. They just went to the homecoming dance, where he asked her to accompany him and he paid for both tickets.

If they're still a couple when prom season comes around, and he asks her to his junior prom, I'm assuming he will pay for both tickets. If she asks him to her senior prom, should she pay for both tickets?

I must admit, I grew up wanting to always pay my own way when I went out on dates. I suppose I was a bit of a feminist back then, much to my mother's dismay. DH is quite traditional and will most likely expect for the guy to pay for everything all the time.

What have your experiences been?

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

OK, this might be a dumb question, but does your high school have two proms? Or do they go to two different high schools?

I always thought that "your junior prom" just meant the prom you went to your junior year, not a separate prom for juniors.

 

[Maverick0980]

Our school had junior prom and senior cotillion. Both were open to all students and were traditionally guys choice. My friends and I all paid for everything all four times we went. (We went junior and senior year to both.)

 

[plutotek]

I was in the same situation in HS, and my GF paid for everything when we attended her junior prom. I paid for my tux and provided transportation. It's only right.

 

[coinkc]

My daughter and her boyfriend go to different schools so they went to both Homecoming dances. For her schools, she paid for the tickets and dinner. For his, he paid for everything.

It didn't seem right to expect a 17 year old kid to pay for 2 dance expenses a week apart so this seemed fair.

For both dances, they each took care of any expenses related to their own outfits and for their flowers.

 

[Disneyland1084]

When I was a junior, my boyfriend went to another school. I paid for his ticket.

 

[AnnaS]

His prom, he pays for both. Her prom, she pays for both.

 

[poohfriend77]

My daughter and her boyfriend go to different schools so they went to both Homecoming dances. For her schools, she paid for the tickets and dinner. For his, he paid for everything.

It didn't seem right to expect a 17 year old kid to pay for 2 dance expenses a week apart so this seemed fair.

For both dances, they each took care of any expenses related to their own outfits and for their flowers.

Kinda veering off topic, but I'm curious. Did your DD wear the same dress to both dances?

 

[aaarcher86]

My daughter and her boyfriend go to different schools so they went to both Homecoming dances. For her schools, she paid for the tickets and dinner. For his, he paid for everything. It didn't seem right to expect a 17 year old kid to pay for 2 dance expenses a week apart so this seemed fair. For both dances, they each took care of any expenses related to their own outfits and for their flowers.

Mine was the same. Each of my boyfriends dances he paid for tickets and mine I paid. He always paid for dinner though.

to answer Poohs question - I had different dresses each time for most dances but I was able to recycle most of them later on ( wore my sophomore dress from his homecoming to my senior year homecoming).

 

[SydSim]

Thanks everyone for assuring me that I'm not the only one that feels she should pay for both tickets for her senior prom. And yes, there are two different proms.

 

[Becky2005]

OK, this might be a dumb question, but does your high school have two proms? Or do they go to two different high schools?

I always thought that "your junior prom" just meant the prom you went to your junior year, not a separate prom for juniors.

That's what I'm wondering...our school has Prom...no Junior or Senior designation. The only catch is you have to be a Junior or Senior to go to it.

Frankly, if it were at 2 different schools and they both plan on attending each other's Prom -- I would have him pay for his Prom and her pay for her Prom but tickets are something like $100/person here for Prom so I can't imagine expecting a boy to shell out $400 for 2 different dances.

 

[Cindy B]

I would also look at the situation. If they are willing to split the cost (For example, who is working? Do they have part time jobs? ) I would be all for it.

My daughter had two sophomore cotillions this past year. (one for her school and one for the school she went to freshman year) She also had a ROTC military ball she went to- she paid her own ticket for that as well.

For her school she paid for her ticket. She "met" a person there, so it wasn't like they went together.


For her former school, her date paid for her ticket. She offered to pay her cost (she had money) and my daughter said he said no. I wound up talking to the mom of the date and I mentioned it as well very casually as well... and she said no.

My daughter did wind up paying for two dresses, her dates flowers, her own ticket for the one cotillion. I "think" she wore the military ball dress again for her school cotillion. She is very creative in wearing dresses again for things. She went to numerous Sweet 16's that year (along with the ball and cotillions) and she created a "rotation schedule". She really only had about 3-4 dresses for all these events.

Last year it was crazy.

This year it will be jr. prom. At least it is only one thing!

 

[marcyinPA]

My DS 18 and his girlfriend were both seniors last year, and had been dating since September, so naturally would go to prom together. He did do the formal ask though. Our prom was very expensive- $130 per ticket- so their arrangement was that he would buy her ticket and she would buy his . He didn't have a job at that point, so coming up with $260 would have been very difficult for him. As it was, we paid for the ticket and paid for his tux rental.

ETA: we have one prom. You need to be a jr or a sr to go (unless you are the younger date of the jr or sr)

 

[Janepod]

Just like any other event -- whoever invites, pays.

 

[njmom47]

Ds was a Junior this past spring, dating a Senior. She asked him to Senior Ball and she paid for the bid. He asked her to Junior Prom and he (I ) paid for the bid.
Dd's gf purchased 2 different dresses (the one for Jr Prom was bought at a consignment shop and was prettier than her dress for Sr Ball imo). The tux place gave ds a discount and let him keep the clothing for 10 days due to the events being 1 week apart. They each chipped in for transportation for Jr Prom(limo bus, I think it was $25 each). The kids drove to Sr Ball. At the time, ds's gf was working, and ds was not.

 

[mjkacmom]

Last year, for dd's junior prom (separate event for juniors), she paid for both tickets. For her boyfriend's senior prom, he paid for both tickets (all proms here include a full meal), but she went in on the party bus and weekend away (30 kids total).

He's at college, and they are still together. They're both pretty "poor," so I think they take turns treating each other. She is paying for her bus ticket to visit him in a few weeks.

 

[marcyinPA]

Last year, for dd's junior prom (separate event for juniors), she paid for both tickets. For her boyfriend's senior prom, he paid for both tickets (all proms here include a full meal), but she went in on the party bus and weekend away (30 kids total).

He's at college, and they are still together. They're both pretty "poor," so I think they take turns treating each other. She is paying for her bus ticket to visit him in a few weeks.

This is how my DS and his GF operate. They are both at different colleges, but when they are home on weekends, they take turns buying whatever. Mostly, they hang out here and snuggle and watch movies but they go to the store to buy food, and he drives and she buys. He went to visit her at her school this weekend, and he gave gas money to his friend who drove him there, and I'm sure he and his GF are sharing expenses this weekend. They are really good about that, and care about each others' finances. I love that about them. They don't adhere to rules of etiquette with each other.

 

[SydSim]

Our prom was very expensive- $130 per ticket- so their arrangement was that he would buy her ticket and she would buy his

Hey, I really like that idea!

 

[Mom21]

Interesting. Here they have what is called a senior package. If you are going to the Senior grad Bash (Universal Orlando) I think most kids purchase this for $290 and it includes 1 prom ticket. That takes care of it as far as I know if you date someone from the school. I don't have to worry about it really. My dd is 16 and a senior. So far she refuses to accept a date really. She went to homecoming dance last night ($25 I bought early-later was $35). She did have a guy ask her the day before if she wanted to go with him. She said yes, but from what I understand he came and hung out at her table for a while, but since dd doesn't dance she told him to go on and not let her ruin his fun-Shrug.

I guess I'm lucky in that my dd isn't ready to date no matter how many guys like her. One boy has been after her for 2 years. She took him home last week after school as a friend and she said he was pressuring her to kiss him. She told him get out of the car. He refused so she put the car in drive and told him he could explain to her mother why he was still in the car when she got home. He got out.

Honestly the cost of some of these proms is out of hand. I'm sure she'll go to prom as I already paid for the ticket, but hopefully she won't be dating by then.

 

[clh2]

Kinda veering off topic, but I'm curious. Did your DD wear the same dress to both dances?

My DD went to two proms her junior year - two weekends apart. DD did wear the same dress.

DD went to a friend's sr prom when she was a senior. The friend got dumped by his long-time girlfriend about 2 weeks before his prom. He very eloquently indicated to DD that her "Cinderella-style" prom dress was probably a bit over the top for his prom. DD found a wonderful dress for this prom for $30 at Penney's. Not bad for the last minute rush. The friend already had the tickets for this prom.

And to the OP's question - DD paid all expenses related to her prom, the boyfriend paid all expense related to his prom.