Sorry you are going through this. Have you talked to anyone? Your Pastor, a marriage counselor? I hate that for ya'll. My parents had a most horrible marriage-both came with looooooots of baggage. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I always wanted them to get divorced because my dad said He would NEVER EVER EVER get counseling or therapy of any kind. He needed it! So did my mom, but if your husband is totally against it, what can you do? They got a D when I was about 26 or so, they are both remarried. I just regret for her that she wasted sooooo many years trying to make it work, and he really didn't care. It was very hard on us and odd- because when people heard us say we wanted our parents to separate, they thought we were brats. But let me tell you---it's unbelievable the amount of verbal and mental abuse goes on in some homes!
All that to say, if it's really bad--try to get help-that's what is fair for your kids. You may be surprised at how easy stuff is to fix sometimes!! Little things build up over time into Mountains--that's just my 2 cents!! Hope things get better for you!!! Every body suffers strains in marriage---but only you know when it crosses a line. I'll be praying for you!!