jack bauer

[Tiggeroo]

is hot.
Not as hot as mr. depp but still up there on the temp scale.

 

[SetzKitten]

Not as hot as mr. depp

Oh, blasphemy!!

 

[dvcfamily41801]

Jack Bauer

 

[Jack_Bauer]

 

[pfishgirl]

 

[firstmickey]

Smokin hot!

and here's some little facts....hopefully I edited all the bad stuff out of it...but if I missed one...SORRY..I'll fix it!

Facts about Jack Bauer–

1. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

2. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

3. It is a little known fact that Jack Bauer’s tears cure cancer. The problem is Jack never cries.

4. If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.

5. Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

6. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.

7. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

8. Don’t ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar…

9. Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

10. Jack Bauer’s gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack Bauer.

11. If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don’t want to get 7 stars.

12. If Jack says “I just want to talk to him/her” and that him/her is you… well amigo, you’re dead.

13. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

14. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

15. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he’s knocked out or temporarily killed.

16. When you open a can of whoop-butt, Jack Bauer jumps out.

17. Jack Bauer’s family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

18. While being ‘put under’ in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time. This annoys the doctors.

19. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

20. Jack Bauer has no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn’t want to.

21. Everytime Jack Bauer yells “NOW!” at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.

22. As a child, Jack Bauer’s first words were “There’s no time!”

23. Jack Bauer isn’t hiding from the world, the world is hiding from Jack Bauer.

24. Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon.

25. If Jack Bauer had been on Oceanic 815 there would no Lost.

26. Jack Bauer can sneeze with his eyes open.

27. Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

28. Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.

29. Jack Bauer shouldn’t be compared to Jesus. Jack rose from the dead not once, but twice.

30. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

31. When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

32. There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.

33. When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer.

34. The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

35. Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt.

36. Jack Bauer doesn't need a receipt to return something to a store, just a gun.

37. Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the bomb was.

38. Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."

39. When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload.

40. Jack Bauer thinks the word mercy just means "quick interrogation."

41. The only reason Jack gave Nina mouth to mouth in Season 2 was because he had to kill her himself.

42. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

43. Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

44. There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.

45. Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live.

46. The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer.

47. Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic.

48. ...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."

49. If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's (bad word) beef.

50. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

51. Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

52. If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.

53. Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first.

54. "You don't know Jack" is a blessing among terrorists.

55. Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

56. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

57. When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out.

58. It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so in trouble!

59. Superman is one of the few individuals who could possibly survive a confrontation with Jack Bauer. But that is only because he can fly away.

60. On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

61. Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that wimp went to the hospital first.

62. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

63. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

64. When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

65. Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."

66. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness

67. When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.

68. There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

69. MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one.

70. Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

71. Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."

72. Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

73. If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

74. Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're (bad word) dead."

75. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.

76. In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?

 

[cougar242]

I love watching 24, I hate I missed it last night. I only watch it because of Kiefer...
However, I lOVE Johnny Depp in Pirates..

 

[Fitswimmer]

The only thing wrong with Jack Bauer is that he's a fictional character.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

The only thing wrong with Jack Bauer is that he's a fictional character.

Ahem...