I've HAD it. Parents v. Non-Parents at work

[Tracy Savage]

If there was a situation where I needed to get to my child, no job or coworker could keep me away. He is a child. Not a stack of work that will always be there. Are you planning on having children? Boy, I hope you married a rich guy so you don't have to work or your kids are VERY healthy! Good luck. In my experience parents have always made better employees. They have lives depending on their income.

 

[Skywalker]

If it bugs you so much when a smoker takes a smoke break (which the boss is obviously letting them do), get up at the same time and take a walk or whatever you want to do. I can guarantee your boss won't say anything to you if he/she doesn't say anything to them.

Reminds me of a place I used to work. Every time the one guy took a smoke break she'd say "Then I'm going on a stress break." She'd match him minute for minute, lol.

 

[JerseyJanice]

For a few year when my son was little, I shared an office with a chain-smoking witch who monitored my comings-and-goings like she was the one who wrote my paycheck. Frankly, she was a bitter spinster who hated that no one ever wanted to have a child with her. And with her personality, it was easy to see why she couldn't find a husband until she was 50.

Glad to be away from her, and after that experience, I'm really glad that my son is old enough to stay home by himself when he's not well.

The amount of grief I got from that hag far exceeded any work she imagined that she had to do in my absence. She was such a witch, most people didn't want her involved in their work so trust me on this--she picked up very little slack for me or anyone else.

 

[amg35]

Reminds me of a place I used to work. Every time the one guy took a smoke break she'd say "Then I'm going on a stress break." She'd match him minute for minute, lol.

Exactly!

I have never known a place to allow smokers to take a break but no one else.
And if someone's work did allow this, well you'd have reason to file a grievance.

Same thing for kids actually. I don't have children, people who have children have been allowed to leave early for whatever reason. It never bothered me because if I ever had to leave and the bosses said no, I could bring up the other people who left if I have to. Never happened, but I'm supposing I could do that.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Have you ever asked? If one of my coworkers wanted to take time off, and had covered for me, I'd GLADLY cover for them, but they'd need to ask because I can't read their minds

I got to this one (the first reply) and thought YES!!!

I have an employee that whines about this. She told me that no one ever asks if she wants to go see her mother. Well, the kid is 26 and as far as anyone knew her mother was relatively young and healthy. She's very private and refused to share. That's fine but no one knew her mother had a heart issue. However, she called me one day and said her mother had a medical emergency and needed to leave and I could charge her a half day. I told her just to leave, take care of her mother. Next day I told her that I had no intention of charging her anything for leaving. I'm not that cold hearted. And then I explained that people can be a lot more understanding if they have an inkling of what's happening. She came in late, left early and took a day off when her mom was recovering. Geez, folks. We might the boss or the co-worker. We are definitely not mind readers!!

 

[Acklander]

My dad always told me that 10% of the people do 90% of the work, and if you're in that 10% you'll always have a job. I took that advice to heart and have always worked hard, always been willing to go the extra mile, and yes, even to come in on my off time to cover for someone who's out sick so that they aren't left in a bind. I've ALWAYS tried to be part of that 10%. If you have a strong work ethic, that's not going to change once you have kids. And yes, the boss is well aware of which employees are in that 10%, they may not acknowledge it, but they know who's buttering the bread for the company. Also, you'll never see the 10% comparing themselves to what the co-workers contribute or don't contribute - they know they're always going to outshine them and outwork them. They're used to it.

 

[amg35]

My dad always told me that 10% of the people do 90% of the work, and if you're in that 10% you'll always have a job. I took that advice to heart and have always worked hard, always been willing to go the extra mile, and yes, even to come in on my off time to cover for someone who's out sick so that they aren't left in a bind. I've ALWAYS tried to be part of that 10%. If you have a strong work ethic, that's not going to change once you have kids. And yes, the boss is well aware of which employees are in that 10%, they may not acknowledge it, but they know who's buttering the bread for the company. Also, you'll never see the 10% comparing themselves to what the co-workers contribute or don't contribute - they know they're always going to outshine them and outwork them. They're used to it.

once again, not picking on a post!

I agree with you, I am also part of that 10%. My boss has said over and over I am her go to girl, she knows I will always get the job done. But...here's where it bites you in the butt.

You are taken advantage of. Those who don't do anything but the minimum always will get away with it. And you will always be expected to do the rest because this is what we do. It's very frustrating sometimes.

I was recently promoted, but because I do such a good job at my current position, and it is a lot of work, no one wants to step up and take over so I can move on to my promotion. So I wait for the powers that be to finally force someone to actually work hard and take over my current position.
And because my bosses know that even though I'm feeling frustrated, I will still do my current job at 110%, because that is my work ethic. Poor management planning on their part, if they were ready to offer me the new position, they should have had someone ready to go to take over mine. Oh wait, they did. She decided she didn't want to do it because it was too much work....meaning she can't play on the internet all day. And they let her.

Sigh, sorry, just venting a bit. whew! got a touch off topic there!

 

[portocall]

OP, as others have said, it all evens out in the end over time. If you want some time off, ask them to cover for you. Simple as that. No point in getting into a tizzy over it. I wish I could schedule in when my kids decide to get sick or break a bone or something... but it never happens that way. My kids are funny in that they have "emergencies" at the worst possible time. I would spend time being grateful for my own, my DH's, and my parents current good health, rather than being upset at coworkers who have to take off to take care of a child. That said, funny how I have more time left over this year than a few of my non-parent friends. I only take off when I don't have a choice because I never know what tomorrow is gonna bring.

 

[Poppinsme]

I'm a married DINK.
I don't have a problem with anybody leaving if they have to. Stuff happens. And I work at a Children's Hospital so that can really effect our workloads.

12 days ago my dear horse died. She was family to DH and I. I called in on that day. My dear co-workers(bless them) worked short and called me to say 'We are fine you be with your beloved horse, don't worry about us".

I believe in Karma. You cast your bread upon the waters and it will come back 10 fold. I NEVER have a problem pulling extra because it will come back good for me. Peace.

 

[kelleyrn2000]

Having been in a prior job where my manager couldn't stand people to take time off for sickness or any other reason, and having to leave my toddler with walking pneumonia at grandmas to go to work (for fear of losing job) I have decided never again will I put my job before my kids. It is too stressful for me.

At my current job everyone is understanding, as their kids are grown, so they have all been there. One has an elderly parent undergoing chemo that she leaves to take her to. One has left suddenly due to a sudden death of her FIL. I covered for her. She covered for me when I needed to get my dd to a cardiologist last minute. They all understand family comes first.
To the OP at one point you will need to have someone cover, just be happy that so far you haven't had any events that have led you to leave work early. When you are a mom and you get a call in the middle of the workday, it is the worst feeling. I am sure they appreciate what you do, even if they don't say it. If there is anyone that takes advantage of parenthood as an excuse to leave work and lies about a kid being sick, that is awful!

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

In my experience,
-those without kids needed more time off (overall) BUT they planned for it ahead of time and gave ample warning/notice.
-those with kids need time off more last minute.

 

[2Eskiedogs]

I've covered for coworkers that needed off for vacation time(2 weeks at a time and they were single, no kids). When I needed off for my honeymoon, they covered for me. When my mom passed away, they covered for me, as I did for them. We talked about it to our manager, how to schedule vacations so not all 4 of us were gone at once, maybe 1 or 2. Same thing with appointments. But emergencies happen....sorry can't plan when my dad had a heart attack, or my co-worker's son died, or my son had an asthma attack at school and needed to rushed to the ER. Life happens.

I was grateful when my coworkers covered for me when I had my hysterectomoy and was off of work for 6 weeks, I am fortunate enough that between several coworkers and a couple of volunteers(I work at my son's school), were able to cover for me. I've worked through my lunch hour, so I could take my son to his baseball practice - I had my 8 hours in. My one coworker works through her lunch hour in the summer, so she take her son to equine therapy place. I don't feel like we sit around keeping score, some of us have kids, some don't, but I don't want to be lumped in a group that someone is thinking that since I have kids, my time off is more important, I don't feel that way at all. My principal at our school, doesn't have a problem with how we cover for each other. I'm just glad that I found a place to work that we enjoy what we do and it shows in our work environment.

 

[disneyaddicted]

Kind of like smokers going out for a smoke while the others are in working.

Where I work we call it the retail inhale, we get 2 minutes so suck it down fast. Non smokers can also take a quick stress break too.

 

[bumbershoot]

HandbagLady...fwiw I totally understood from our post that you are just surrounded by dingbats, and weren't generalizing to ALL parents. I didn't get offended on behalf of my hubby (I don't work outside the home so I couldn't get offended, LOL).

And it really sounds like you work with dingbats! I would love to hear the back story of the one who felt that having a kid would give her more free time. What did people say when she said that?

Does your company have a "smokers may leave to smoke, but anyone else may not leave unless it is for a smoke" clause? I doubt it.

If it bugs you so much when a smoker takes a smoke break (which the boss is obviously letting them do), get up at the same time and take a walk or whatever you want to do. I can guarantee your boss won't say anything to you if he/she doesn't say anything to them.

When I worked amazon customer service here in Tacoma, ONLY smokers were allowed to leave for anything other than the 2 15 minute breaks. Nonsmokers started to revolt, and the company then refused smokers any extra breaks. Which then meant the grumpy nonsmokers had to deal with nasty grumpier mean jonesing smokers. Lose-Lose situation.

For me, with that experience, the argument works perfectly.

Boy, I hope you married a rich guy so you don't have to work...

One needs a rich husband in order to not work outside the home? Um....uh oh! No one told us that, guess we've been doing it wrong.




OP, at that CS job, I was the single girl who tried to help out the marrieds-with-children and the unmarrieds-with-children, of course. Since it was a job with fixed phone/email shifts, "covering" wasn't really what we could do, but the fewer people on the phones meant the harder our jobs were each day. When we were hired, we were told flat out that the holidays would be full of *mandatory* overtime. And lo and behold, the ones with kids AND the singles with serious party needs, would whine and complain and moan and groan through those mandatory shifts that they KNEW would happen. Man that was annoying. But I, and also DH before he was my husband, would try to help them out.

And now...DH works his rear off, helps out other people, stays extra, etc etc etc... And he *offers* to help people out, but no one ever offers things to him. See...they all know that I'm at home. So why can't he stay later, since I'm there, right?

And while that's true to a certain extent...I don't have endless amounts of energy and patience and ability to be the 100% parent, ya know?


Anyway, I know where you're coming from, to a certain extent, HL, and I really feel for you.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I am supposed to work 35 hours and I do not get paid for more than 35 hours so when 3:45 comes, I am out the door. Why should I stay longer and not get paid for it? That will be the day. I want to go home to my family.
I leave whenever I get a call form school that my kids are sick, i stay home when they are sick and I take off to chaperone field trips and school parties when they happen and I NEVER feel guilty because I have earned the time. I have over 450 sick hours and I have over 150 vacation hours. I use 1 week for Disney and the rest I use when things come up with my kids.
I am a social worker and yes emergencies do come up that my co workers may have to handle, but on the other hand, I am always caught up if not ahead of schedule. I do not intentionally leave anything for anyone else.
It actually is considered a "hostile" work environment if anyone complains about a coworker when they have the time earned to take off.

 

[Luv2trav]

I am supposed to work 35 hours and I do not get paid for more than 35 hours so when 3:45 comes, I am out the door. Why should I stay longer and not get paid for it? That will be the day. I want to go home to my family.
.

Apparently you are hourly and not salary. Salary people sometimes work more than 40 hours and sometimes they do not.. By law salaried people can and have to work additional hours when needed.

My opinion if you have a problem with it you need to speak up. I think it's childish to sit and complain and do nothing about it.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

Apparently you are hourly and not salary. Salary people sometimes work more than 40 hours and sometimes they do not.. By law salaried people can and have to work additional hours when needed.

My opinion if you have a problem with it you need to speak up. I think it's childish to sit and complain and do nothing about it.

My coworker complained that another coworker was always calling out. Usually once a week. She did not have anymore sick time available either. Our supervisor told her that if she did complained again, it would considered a "hostile" work enviornment and she would be written up.

 

[Free4Life11]

If there was a situation where I needed to get to my child, no job or coworker could keep me away. He is a child. Not a stack of work that will always be there. Are you planning on having children? Boy, I hope you married a rich guy so you don't have to work or your kids are VERY healthy! Good luck. In my experience parents have always made better employees. They have lives depending on their income.

And single people don't? I guess we just work for the hell of it!

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

And single people don't? I guess we just work for the hell of it!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

And single people don't? I guess we just work for the hell of it!

No but there may be more flexibility. My single employee has told me twice now that she plans on quitting and moving back to have her mother support her until she figures out what she wants to do with her life. She's 27 with a college degree. Not saying every single person is like this but it's the same as painting all parents with one brush.