I've got the Cruise planning blues...

[pontikes67]

Are you the 'planner' in your house? As the husband, I'm the rare case of the guy doing all the planning...all of it. I do the decorations for doors, excursions, amenities, travel, transfers, on board fun, specialty meal, wine purchases, plan, plan, plan. Now, I like to plan, but as the planner do you ever get sick of "anything you want to do is fine with me" and "I don't care, whatever you think" or no response. In all the trips I've planned, never once has an amenity arrived at my door that I didn't know about. Never.

Just once, it would be cool to have a bottle of wine or a surprise massage planned for me. Nope. If I want it, I better make it happen. One time I bought myself a Keys to the Kingdom tour (as a Father's Day gift from my family), booked it, paid for it and gave it to myself on Father's Day, now my wife knew about it beforehand, but I basically gave it to myself...yay me.

I think I'm getting bummed out. No one ever seems to think of the planner.

Oh don't get me wrong, our cruise will be a blast, but man, just once someone come up with something without me having to plan it.

Just needed to vent.

 

[dsdeleon]

Oh, vent away! I could have written your post! All the well thought out, fun surprises. Snagging hard to get activities and reservations. Looking at all the reviews and feedback and carefully researching against my families wants and needs. Planning my own birthdays and celebrations! I do love it and will have a blast but it must be nice to simply walk into these amazing experiences without all the knowledge.

 

[Gaspode38]

Are you the 'planner' in your house? As the husband, I'm the rare case of the guy doing all the planning...all of it. I do the decorations for doors, excursions, amenities, travel, transfers, on board fun, specialty meal, wine purchases, plan, plan, plan. Now, I like to plan, but as the planner do you ever get sick of "anything you want to do is fine with me" and "I don't care, whatever you think" or no response. In all the trips I've planned, never once has an amenity arrived at my door that I didn't know about. Never.

Just once, it would be cool to have a bottle of wine or a surprise massage planned for me. Nope. If I want it, I better make it happen. One time I bought myself a Keys to the Kingdom tour (as a Father's Day gift from my family), booked it, paid for it and gave it to myself on Father's Day, now my wife knew about it beforehand, but I basically gave it to myself...yay me.

I think I'm getting bummed out. No one ever seems to think of the planner.

Oh don't get me wrong, our cruise will be a blast, but man, just once someone come up with something without me having to plan it.

Just needed to vent.

I caneed completely relate. Not just my DE expects we do to the planning but the rest of my entire family for their trips I'm not even going on

 

[wcw57]

Male planner/pseudo-travel agents unite!

Further, as the family "official" photographer (that is, the only one who cares), I appear in virtually none of the family travel photographs.

Last year the entire fam showed interest in a trip to Niagara Falls....I said that if they gathered on an acceptable date, I would make the arrangements for us all. Never heard from anyone and we didn't go.

More than the planner, I appear to be the spark plug as well

 

[Sir William]

I've always been the planner in my family as well and have the same experiences. All of them! I ask for input on what they'd like to see or do and I get very little response, but plenty of complaints if I didn't include it. They expect me to design the perfect trip so all they have to do is show up and be entertained.

DW asks me why I'm so "obsessed" with any upcoming trip I'm working on as she is unable to think about a trip more than a week in advance. But her first question to me when we arrive somewhere is "what is there to do?"

 

[Mil leech]

I could have written all of these posts. A surprise would be nice, heck even simple gratitude. I do hours of research and present the options to a response of "is there anything better/cheaper" sure, you go find it! All of this while I am staring at options for Iceland!!

 

[tink1970]

I hear you...at this point I plan trips I only want to take and limit it to my discrete household plus DM (because she is appreciative). Tired of juggling the personalities, desires and passive aggressive not planning or giving input but wanting a perfect vacation relatives. Guess I'm not alone!

 

[RedSox68]

Are you the 'planner' in your house? As the husband, I'm the rare case of the guy doing all the planning...all of it. I do the decorations for doors, excursions, amenities, travel, transfers, on board fun, specialty meal, wine purchases, plan, plan, plan. Now, I like to plan, but as the planner do you ever get sick of "anything you want to do is fine with me" and "I don't care, whatever you think" or no response. In all the trips I've planned, never once has an amenity arrived at my door that I didn't know about. Never.

Just once, it would be cool to have a bottle of wine or a surprise massage planned for me. Nope. If I want it, I better make it happen. One time I bought myself a Keys to the Kingdom tour (as a Father's Day gift from my family), booked it, paid for it and gave it to myself on Father's Day, now my wife knew about it beforehand, but I basically gave it to myself...yay me.

I think I'm getting bummed out. No one ever seems to think of the planner.

Oh don't get me wrong, our cruise will be a blast, but man, just once someone come up with something without me having to plan it.

Just needed to vent.

OMG -- do you live in my house?!? While I love trip planning and all the menial details and tasks that it involves, I do get tired of not getting enough recognition from those (DH and DD) who benefit. They have told me they love the way I plan the trips and the places we go, but rarely surprise me with anything on or during the trip! It is very frustrating and I feel your pain and loneliness!

 

[MaleficentRN]

Yes! All our trips are like this!
Me: Surprise! I upgraded to club! Surprise! I booked a dessert party!
Family:
Even when DH and DS go away for a boys trip I have a someting waiting for them when they arrive, like a snack basket or cookies from room service.
We're going to DL for my 50th and I was thinking how nice it would be if someone ordered me a Haunted Mansion cake for my birthday dinner. Well I've basically resigned myself to the fact that someone is going to be me unless I want to be disappointed.
Dude, I totally get where you are coming from.

 

[fifthdimensiondweller]

I totally hear you, OP! I've arranged all of our trips for years! It does get exhausting! My husband always gives me the "I don't care" response! That's fine, but he knows better not have a thing to say about the way our trips are planned when we go!! Last year he did blow me away though with two Gift Baskets for my birthday to our hotel room.

Last year we took a four day trip to WDW following our DCL wedding, and my brithday happened to fall over the WDW trip. I did all the planning: meals, fastpasses, everything for 20+ people. I didn't really mind, because I like planning and I got to structure it exactly as I wanted it, but it would have been nice to get a break from that!

 

[Neptune's Fork]

I think it's just a personality thing. Some people plan, some wing it; some people are organized, some are a mess. Doesn't mean they don't appreciate your efforts. We often times do not express gratitude as often as we should. Happens to us all.

 

[pontikes67]

Ah, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone. I think the best was the Disney trip that I allowed everyone a day to do whatever they want at Magic Kingdom; the NO PLAN plan. I didn't plan a thing. That went over like a lead balloon.

Now, I do receive the adoration for planning the trips, thank yous and "i love you Dad" and I have to say, it's my personality to take the lead, but like @MaleficentRN said "how nice" would it be if someone would just do the simplest of gestures to show me "it's my vacation too"!

Well, thanks for sharing in my frustration. In the end, I love my family so much, I want every experience to be amazing and honestly I'm not sure if I could sit back and just let someone plan it (as I'm about 'plussing' the experience and know they wouldn't pore over the details to find some cool secret experience) but man, it would AWESOME to board the ship and find a box of cigars on the bed as we enter the stateroom (a stateroom which I hand picked, after researching the largest verandahs on the ship, lol). Just once!

Enjoy planning my friends...it's what we do!

 

[Dr Gunnie]

Add me to the club!

I'm currently just finishing up all the planning for our March trip. I booked the fp's last weekend for our WDW stay and we are doing a 4 day cruise along with it. I do the all the planning - 100% of it. I'm one of those spreadsheet planners with different colors for reservations, fp's, all of it (I'm sure many of you are the same way). It's tiring!

Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, but some feedback or a little participation from the wife/kids would be nice every now and then!

The worst part for me is during the actual trip - sometimes I get a little anxious regarding the schedule and making sure we get to everything on time so nobody is disappointed. I just want to be able to relax! This trip I did build in a whole afternoon/evening that was left wide open, I'm hoping that will help lesson the pressure to get everything done on time since we can be totally flexible that afternoon/evening.

The nice thing is my family is always very appreciative. Glad to hear there are other male planners that feel my pain!!!

 

[WishUponAStarryNight]

I hear ya! The "best" one for me was when we went to WDW a couple years ago. I spent months planning ADRs, FPs, etc. My parents were joining DS and me on the trip and for months I asked for input. I always got the same "whatever you decide will be fine." Well, for one of our MK days, I planned for a CS lunch. Well, you would think the world was crashing. My Dad looked at me and said, "isn't there a place we can go and sit down and be served?" When I explained to him that 6 months earlier, we could have arranged for that, but not right now, he got upset. Legitimately upset. At me. Because he had to stand in line for lunch. Unreal. I do enjoy planning the trips, but a little bit of input would be nice. I do think, though, that since that WDW trip, they have a bit more gratitude for all that goes into planning a smooth vacation. Aside from that CS hiccup, the trip went off without a hitch.

 

[chik1987]

My fiance is pretty good about researching along with me and giving input and helping plan everything so I am super lucky in that regard.

My struggle has been planning our wedding on the Dream this coming October. Most people want to go with the flow and do whatever we do...I said that't fine but I better not hear a single bit of complaining about it. You are free to go about things and do whatever you want as I remind them "other than the wedding its YOUR vacation."

The only downside has been my fiance's mother. She was PISSED about us doing the cruise wedding (my fiance's brother had his wedding in Boston and being from the midwest it was a trek). She has NO interest in going on a cruise or getting on an airplane or any of the lot of it. The ONLY reason she is going on the cruise is for the wedding and to spend some time with her other grandkids who live out of state. She has stated she will "spend all of the time in her cabin as she has no interest in anything." *sigh*

 

[volfan1978]

Another planner/husband/pseudo-travel agent here. In terms of Myers-Briggs types and planning, I'm definitely an extreme "J" and I'm married to an extreme "P". The worst part is when you ask for input, get none, and then when you get there and execute the plan there are complaints (or obvious moments of disappointment). I know there are lots of people that like to be spontaneous and go with the flow...but the way Disney is set up these days it's not the place for you if you want to get your money's worth!

 

[FigmentSpark]

It's what we do, because we love them. Sure, there's the side point of getting exactly what we want, but also, we know it takes the stress off our loved ones to not have to worry about these things. I buy all my own presents and give them to DH to wrap and tag... sometimes, I wrap them, too and just tell him what he got me. But he works hard, has a long commute and takes care of taking the kids to the rep practices and games. He does a lot that I'm glad I don't have to do. So sometimes I get mopey about not having surprises and then I remember that I don't really like surprises that much, as I messes with my plans.

And photographer dad, me too, but that's why I get the photo packages, even if I'm the only one in the picture!

 

[volfan1978]

My fiance is pretty good about researching along with me and giving input and helping plan everything so I am super lucky in that regard.

My struggle has been planning our wedding on the Dream this coming October. Most people want to go with the flow and do whatever we do...I said that't fine but I better not hear a single bit of complaining about it. You are free to go about things and do whatever you want as I remind them "other than the wedding its YOUR vacation."

The only downside has been my fiance's mother. She was PISSED about us doing the cruise wedding (my fiance's brother had his wedding in Boston and being from the midwest it was a trek). She has NO interest in going on a cruise or getting on an airplane or any of the lot of it. The ONLY reason she is going on the cruise is for the wedding and to spend some time with her other grandkids who live out of state. She has stated she will "spend all of the time in her cabin as she has no interest in anything." *sigh*

We'll be on the Dream this October...any chance you're doing the 10/9 - 10/13 cruise? If so, we'll take any leftover cake you might have

 

[Pkltm]

Add me to the club!

I'm currently just finishing up all the planning for our March trip. I booked the fp's last weekend for our WDW stay and we are doing a 4 day cruise along with it. I do the all the planning - 100% of it. I'm one of those spreadsheet planners with different colors for reservations, fp's, all of it (I'm sure many of you are the same way). It's tiring!

Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, but some feedback or a little participation from the wife/kids would be nice every now and then!

The worst part for me is during the actual trip - sometimes I get a little anxious regarding the schedule and making sure we get to everything on time so nobody is disappointed. I just want to be able to relax! This trip I did build in a whole afternoon/evening that was left wide open, I'm hoping that will help lesson the pressure to get everything done on time since we can be totally flexible that afternoon/evening.

The nice thing is my family is always very appreciative. Glad to hear there are other male planners that feel my pain!!!

I am in too!! I totally get the anxious feeling on the trip too! We often travel with other people and because I do all the planning I sometimes feel like I am responsible for other people's fun. I would really love to relax a bit too lol.

DH is very appreciative, but sometimes would love if someone else got out of bed and made the fast passes lol

 

[FigmentSpark]

My fiance is pretty good about researching along with me and giving input and helping plan everything so I am super lucky in that regard.

My struggle has been planning our wedding on the Dream this coming October. Most people want to go with the flow and do whatever we do...I said that't fine but I better not hear a single bit of complaining about it. You are free to go about things and do whatever you want as I remind them "other than the wedding its YOUR vacation."

The only downside has been my fiance's mother. She was PISSED about us doing the cruise wedding (my fiance's brother had his wedding in Boston and being from the midwest it was a trek). She has NO interest in going on a cruise or getting on an airplane or any of the lot of it. The ONLY reason she is going on the cruise is for the wedding and to spend some time with her other grandkids who live out of state. She has stated she will "spend all of the time in her cabin as she has no interest in anything." *sigh*

lol - "Okay, I'll go, but I won't like it!" I bet your MIL will have a great time. Don't tell her the grandkids will probably be at the clubs while on board.