I've got a parenting question

[Serena]

Say the big sister has moved out, for the most part. And the little sister wants the big sisters' room.
The big sister comes home on occasionally on a weekend, and she will be going to college in the fall.

Part of me says, she doesn't live here anymore, yes little sister can have her room.

But I'm leaning toward making little sister wait until the fall. It's not like she doesn't have a room already. But big sisters room has a walk in closet and her own bathroom.

What do you all think?

 

[RNMOM]

I would wait for her to go to college. Maybe use the excuse you need time to plan the redecorating and maybe big sis can offer some assistance in this part?

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

I am the big sister. My parents did not change rooms, but they did take the larger bed out of my room and give it to my sister. So when I came home from college, I had the smaller bed.

 

[Dopey Sharon]

I would give little sister the bigger room.

 

[Judy from Boise]

why don't you ask big sis if it would bother her ?

 

[bsnyder]

Serena, we're having this same discussion at our house. Only Allison wants BOTH her brothers' rooms. The younger brother is going off to college in the fall and she wants them to share her room and then she can have their rooms, with the adjoining bath, as her SUITE!

The boys are fine with it (they're not picky about stuff like that) but I'm not so sure about it all. And I'm definitely not wanting to redecorate, which is also part of Allison's plan.

 

[Duchie]

As the once little sister who couldn't wait for big sister to get married so I could have her room, I'd vote for giving her the bigger room.

But I agree with RNMOM - you could tell little sis that the summer will be spent planning how to redecorate the room, and then just do it in the fall.

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by Judy from Boise
why don't you ask big sis if it would bother her ?

I did. Which is the major reason I'm leaning towards letting her keep her room for a while longer.
Just a small portion of me is angry that she expects to live somewhere else and have her room here too when it's convenient for her to come home and visit.
But, I can't make this decision based on being angry at her choices. It wouldn't be fair to anyone. I was just curious to other's view points.

Bet, it sounds like Allison's getting her suite.

 

[house_of_princesses]

For me, it would depend on why big sis moved out before leaving for college. If she left in a snit, with an attitude or under terms not acceptable to me....little sis gets the room.

If, on the other hand, she moved out under agreeable terms, unavoidable circumstances....wait until fall.

Actions beget consequences.

 

[robsmom]

I was the little sister. My folks let my older sisters room sit empty while she was at college so that she could have a place when she came home (visits, summer, etc.). At first my other sister and I were annoyed because we had to share a room, but then it turned out that my sister had a really hard time and had to come home most weekends and really needed that sense of "home". In that regard, my parents did the right thing at least at the time. When she finally moved out to her own place, I was finally able to move - by then I was 22 and back from college myself.

From the younger child's perspective when the older one wants to know if it is "fair" for younger sis to - I ask how "fair' was it all the years that the older sister had her own bathroom?

 

[aprilgail2]

My cousins did this...as soon as the son went to college the daughter took his room and the other daughter took her room so now the son has th e small room...he is out of college now and living at home again but he still has the small room...I think its actually fair, he had it all those years and now it is someone elses turn...

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My vote is for the younger daugher. Can you tell I was the middle child?

Lori

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by house_of_princesses
For me, it would depend on why big sis moved out before leaving for college. If she left in a snit, with an attitude or under terms not acceptable to me....little sis gets the room.

If, on the other hand, she moved out under agreeable terms, unavoidable circumstances....wait until fall.

Actions beget consequences.

This gives me something to think about. And it wasn't agreeable terms that she left, sorta, but she's asking to visit more often these days. I want to leave the door open, for her to come back home.
Little sis can wait until this summer, I want everything settled before school starts up again.


Lori, I was a middle child too. I never had a room of my own until these last couple years. It feels weird.

 

[Pop Daddy]

you should take the little room

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
you should take the little room

My room is little enough thank you very much!

 

[goofy4tink]

We had the exact same situation at our house. I would be tempted to tell LS that we are going to spend the summer making room plans. Then, make some changes to the room!! You don't want to alienate BS. She should have a place to call her own until she goes to college. But then the room goes to LS. In our house, dd has the room with an attached bathroom. Dh and I have to walk across the hall!!!!

 

[Serena]

Yeah, it's the good room. I don't have a private bathroom either.

It'll take them till summer to pack all the stuff anyway.

 

[poohlover]

We've had amny of the same comversations about rooms & changing them as you seem to. We have 6 kids & 5 bedrooms for them...1 for my DH & I!!

My oldest is leaving for college in the fall & we are going to spend the summer moving & redecorating the rooms.

My oldest DD has the LARGEST room, it was an addition over a garage...almost as large as mine. So we knew that someday it would be a 2 person room, but felt in the meantime that it should be for the oldest.

My DD realizes that she is going to be "down sizing" BIG time when she hits the dorm room...so she figures it will be good for her to spend the summer in a smaller room, (the one my youngest DD now resides in)

My 2 DS"s, 10 & 8 yrs will move to her BIG room so they will have more room...perhaps a desk for the 10 yr old finally.

My 6 yr old DD will move to the "boy's" room...only a little larger than hers but she says "it's bigger".

And my oldest DD will go to the little room. For the amount of time that she will be home during breaks of school, between working & seeing friends, I don't think she will be around much more than to sleep.

It makes sense in our case with so many kids, you have to work out the best case for you, weighing all the options. Just for your info I did ask my 2nd oldest DD (15) if she wanted the BIG room, but she said no, she has a window seat in her room & she realizes that the 2 boys need more room.

 

[CRB#33]

Your first sentence says it all for me. "Big Sis has moved out".

If she has another main home, it's time for L'il sis to move on up. It's only fair.

It's hard for the younger kids. They always seem to get "second best" in their eyes. And because they're the youngest, they always have to have the smaller room?

I'd tell Big Sis, we're taking turns and it's l'il sis's turn.

 

[peg2001]

I vote to let younger siblings move up as soon as an older sibling moves out. If you want to maintain a room for visits, it should be the lesser of the rooms.

I grew up in a family with 7 kids. The sheets weren't even allowed to cool when a child moved out. The next eldest took over. Visiting siblings were always made to feel welcome but they had to share a room or sleep on the pull-out sofa.

Peggy