I've always wondered, why do they call it "significant other"?

[Jillpie]

I've always thought this term was so darn cold sounding. Why don't they just call it like it is, boyfriend or girlfriend? If this person is very special and close to you, why wouldn't you just want to claim that person as who they are, your boyfriend or girlfriend? Please enlighten me, its one of those terms in the 90's that I can't wrap myself around.

 

[grinningghost]

I think it came around when all that PC nonsense started. Some people didn't like being called GIRLfriend, because GIRL sounded juvenile, and that sort of thing.

"Significant" because whoever they are, they're REALLY important, "Other" because they're someone else besides yourself.

Probably way off base, but it sounded good.

 

[Caradana]

It's a phrase I hear a lot in the context of gay relationships. I also think that, said properly and warmly, it can be a very endearing way to refer to my boyfriend.

 

[grinningghost]

It's a phrase I hear a lot in the context of gay relationships. I also think that, said properly and warmly, it can be a very endearing way to refer to my boyfriend.

Whoa! Where the heck have you been Caradana?! I thought you fell off the earth. Good to see you again.

 

[KristaTX]

"Other" because they're someone else besides yourself.

For some reason that just made me .

 

[grinningghost]

For some reason that just made me .

It does sound pretty stupid, doesn't it?

 

[KristaTX]

. It is definitely the word "other" that makes the phrase sound awkward.

 

[laurie31]

It's also a way to refer to the person's partner without having to know whether the person is heterosexual or homosexual, married or living together.

It is sort of PC, but it's one of the more realistic PC terms, I think . Most of them are just silly.

Laurie

 

[DisMN]

It is a bit of a silly term but better to be a significant other than an insignificant other!

 

[Jillpie]

It's also a way to refer to the person's partner without having to know whether the person is heterosexual or homosexual, married or living together.

It is sort of PC, but it's one of the more realistic PC terms, I think . Most of them are just silly.

Laurie

But thats just it, why would one want to hide the fact of being heterosexual, married etc.?

 

[russtwinsmom]

Does one say "significant" as opposed to all the others in their lives who are insignificant?

Scene: coffee shop.

Cast members: You. Old friend, Cathy, seated. Mike, guy with whom you are on a first semi-date.

You: "Hi, Cathy! How funny that I am running into you here!"

Cathy: "Hi, You. What brings you here?"

You: "Oh, I am just here for a quick latte with Mike. Mike, meet Cathy. Mike is my insignificant other."

Cathy: "Gee, that's a shame, Mike. Nice meeting you anyway. Maybe in a few months you'll be more significant and we can all go out together."

 

[Sparx]

I always thought it sounded kinda goofy.

 

[Disneyland_emily]

>>But thats just it, why would one want to hide the fact of being heterosexual, married etc.?<<

Acceptance


If you dont want to/need to get into the "story"

etc-

 

[Pugdog007]

Some people didn't like being called GIRLfriend, because GIRL sounded juvenile, and that sort of thing.

This is the reason I use it and I use it in referencing my DH because we aren't "officially" married though we've lived together for 7 years. Can we create a DSO?

 

[russtwinsmom]

This is the reason I use it and I use it in referencing my DH because we aren't "officially" married though we've lived together for 7 years. Can we create a DSO?

Oh, yeah, DSO! Or, as I posted above, in some situations DISO! Or would that be NSDISO (not so dear insignificant other!

 

[Jamesbyr]

Wow, none of the posts is online!

One of the regular DISers had a boyfriend, and regularly posted pictures of him and actually talked about him.

More recently, the guy has become a SO. (Never mentioned in posts, except in rare cases when questioned.) This DISers posts have radically diminished.

So I guess that "SO" is a much lower status than what we would all aspire to.

 

[pogo791]

"Significant other" is a term that had to be invented, and so far no one has invented anything better (but maybe they should).

Like Laurie31 said, it's a catch-all term for heterosexual and homosexual relationships, live-in and married. But it's more than that, it extends - with a nice amount of ambiguity - to boy/girl friends as well. You can use it when you want to show that that certain special other person is important to you, but either you don't want to advertise the fact that you are living together, or you haven't yet reached that stage in the relationship. And at the same time as the term is suitably flexible, it is also fairly exclusive - if you have reached the status of "significant other", you can bask in the glow of knowing that you don't have any rivals. (Or has anyone heard about someone having two or more significant others?)

Some other languages have a term that can be used also in (semi-)official connections, for example when determining who should be notified in case of medical emergencies. English still needs a term - "lover" is just too dated and syrupy, "next of kin" is limited to relatives, "consort" brings to mind English royalty, "helpmate" is rather comical, "POSSLQ" far too limited. What's left? "Steady partner"? Do we have to bring back "my other half" - or even "my better half"?

 

[va32h]

"Significant other" is pretty much the least of the evils.

Other options:

"Boyfriend/Girlfriend" - some people may feel that after a certain age, these terms just sound silly.

"Lover" - TMI!!

"Partner" - a good choice, but some feel this connotes a busines relationship

"Mate" - another okay choice - but pandas at the zoo have mates, you know? Perhaps some humans want a slightly less zoological term.

The problem is not what you want to call yourselves, it's coming up with a term you can safely call other couples, without offending anyone.

 

[Maleficent13]

I use it because (IMO) "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" are what you call two highschoolers who are dating, not a couple of thirty-somethings. When I hear someone over the age of 30 talk about their "boy/girlfriend", I think it just sounds funny.

 

[oogieboogie]

I'm in the minority I'm sure, but I rather like SO. Boy/Girlfriend sounds so juvenile to me, partner seems so gay.

significant other just sounds nicer than the other terms.