It's over *update on page 6

[mskani]

I really have to commend you, Serena. You have handled yourself with grace and dignity through this nightmare. You are a better woman than I am.

I think that part of me would do an Angela Bassett on his you know what (Waiting to Exhale, the scene where she destroys all of her husbands clothing and his prize car.)

But that would be stooping to his level (the jerk.) I can't believe that he would take his trollop out with his kids on a date so soon after the news broke.

Here's another {{{hug}}} for you. God Bless YOU and take care of yourself.

 

[janette]

So glad you're getting the help you need Laurie.

It is very natural to feel failure and loss in this situation. My twin sis divorced after a horrible marriage (no kids) and when it first started she said that maybe someday he might change and come back. Six months later after counseling and a meeting with a divorce therapy group she threw a party when the divorce was final. It took that long for her to realize that it wasn't her fault and she had done more than enough to try to safe a person who wasn't worth saving. There were some very serious issues involved but she still needed time to grieve and work through her involvement.

It does sound like your H is wanting you to be the bad guy. You make sure he takes care of yourself and the girls.

 

[CathyCanada]

Laurie, my heart is breaking for you. There is a lot of good advice here and I just want to reiterate some of them Get the lawyer NOW, protect your assets (and I know how smart you have been about that), get him out so he can stop playing the emotional games with you (it is NOT your fault, HE was the one who chose to break his marriage vows, no one MADE him), and don't let him play the innocent here. He needs to be a man and sit down and tell the kids what is going on. The fact that he had the gall to include her in a family outing turns my stomach.

And last but not least, see a counsellor. You are a wonderful lady who has been getting the short end of the stick for a very long time and you deserve so much better. It will be hard, it will be scary, but in the long run, it will be worth all you are going through now. It might be a good idea for your daughters too if they are willing.

Big hugs and know that you can always come here for hugs and support!
CC

 

[Blondie]

I don't have any advice except that I think you need boat loads of {{{hugs}}} right now.

You know we are all here for you to offer advice, a shoulder to cry on or to just vent.

 

[NancyIL]

I am so sorry for all the pain your husband has caused you. Just get through one day at a time, and eventually things will get easier.

You may get the last laugh yet: someone who cheats on their spouse will probably cheat on their NEXT spouse...it's just a matter of time! What goes around, comes around!

 

[snowball22]

Hang in there. One day at a time. As for the changing of the locks let me share another story with you. When ex-hubby left me the "Dear Jane letter" he also took off with about a third of all our possessions which really made me mad. Even though the house was in both our names my attorney told me to change the locks. Good thing I did. My attorney served him a boat load of papers while he was at work one day which made him so mad that while I was out he tried to get into the house, with a moving truck and friends and girlfriend in tow and tried to wipe the whole house out. I am so glad I had the locks changed. If he had gotten in I would have called the cops and had him arrested for breaking and entering. As for him being nice to you every once in a while it is because he is feeling GUILTY. Ex-hubby used to do that to me drawing me in again and then boom. Unfortunately I was looking for a sign of affection while at the same time he was dealing with his guilt. My advice to you is to just STAY AWAY FROM HIM. You are going to have good and bad days. Just take one day at a time and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You can do this and you will survive!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Serena, first I want to offer {HUGS} to you. Second I suppose I agree with Shortbun. The time to think about him and his mistress is over, no matter how hard it is. Get a good lawyer and go from there.
Also I am in complete shock over his behavior. I suppose this is on purpose so you become stalled or distracted.
{{{BIG HUGS}}}

 

[Goofball]

Laurie, I'm so sorry. I'm trying to imagine how much this must be hurting you, but I don't think I can. But you are going to be okay. Lean on your family, lean on all of us here. {{{{Hugs}}}}

 

[Poohbear123]

By ALL means get the locks CHANGED NOW! The House is YOURS he has left the home, and now YOU Begin a NEW Life! Do NOT let him take the Kids away from the House AGAIN! He can visit them at YOUR Home, anytime, but as long as you are not Divorced yet, he can see them IN the Home! And NOT the RV either! And NO, that "woman" is not ALLOWED to be involved in the Girls life right now. After the Divorce, maybe. GET GOING Girl, you have lots to do! YOU have the STRENGTH to DO this, you just don't know it yet!

 

[glo]

Laurie, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I have no words, but sending you lots of hugs and prayers your way!
Hugs

 

[bfeller]

I can't believe that I am reading this. I don't know how people can be so mean. You are a brave person. You are facing one of the most difficult challenges of your life. You sound as if you are holding it all together, and doing a better job of it than I would. I haven't walked in your shoes but totally support you.

Just a thought: What a dummy she is? If he can do this to the mother of his children and hurt is own children(taking her to the races) then what makes her think that he will treat her right. Of course (passing judgement here) if a woman is having an affair with a married man then she deserves the scum of the earth. He is a slimeball(can't write what I really think)

Anyway, hang in there. My thoughts are with you.

 

[nativetxn]

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. Hang in there.

 

[Pam]

I'm giving you lots of {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} and feel like making giant voodoo dolls of the JERK and TART WOMAN!!!

Stay strong, sweetheart!
Pam

 

[jldriscoll]

Originally posted by Pam
I'm giving you lots of {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} and feel like making giant voodoo dolls of the JERK and TART WOMAN!!!

You found humor in a horrible situation!! The sign of a good friend!

 

[Teejay32]

Oh I seeeeeeeeeee, he's taking the other woman on family outings, and he's willing to stay with you as long as you don't give him any trouble about her. Well that's just.........that's........oooooh. Where is his brain located nowadays??

Living in the RV sounds like a fine idea. Changing locks too. Shortbun's post was great - YOU are above this garbage, don't get sucked in. The decent thing for him to do is live elsewhere and be discreet when he's around his kids, period.

Have the in-laws noticed anything unusual lately?

 

[Dan Murphy]

I can only add my best wishes, prayers and support, Laurie. Lots of great advice here, you do seem to be doing things the ight way.

{Hugs}

 

[Jenzebelle]

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} to you

 

[AZKathy]

I am so sorry you have to go through this.{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

 

[Serena]

Yes, as long as I didn't make waves he was willing to stay here. Isn't that nice of him. See I thought that him staying here was a sign that he wanted to try and work it out.

He was just using me again. That's all. He didn't want to leave me officially. That way he wouldn't have to try and explain his behavior to his parents or anyone else.

Thank you again.

 

[Claudia1]

Unrelated questions here:

Does his family know yet?
If so, what do they think?

Are both girls upset with him?
Are they close to him and do you think he will try to win them over?

About the locks, can you get the kind with a code that you can change as needed? You can give him the code and immediately change it when he walks out the door. Make the initial code your wedding date. Use your birthdate. Use any date or name that will remind him of the marriage vows that he has broken.

Instead of a bouquet of flowers, send her a bouquet of his dirty underwear or anything else that is disgusting.

I'd tell him that, if he is no longer living in the house as he has stated, that he has 1 hour to get his personl stuff out of there. Or better yet, pack it up yourself. You certainly don't want him coming & going under the excuse of getting his clothes, etc... Have another person there to be sure that he was not taking anything but his personal clothes. I would not be happy to know that he can come and go on a whim. As it was stated, he stated he was leaving and he did it. A picture of him moving stuff into the RV (or elsewhere) shows his intent and will to leave on his own.

Just my opinion......