It's MY hair!!

[Fishbone†]

I had short hair for a long time, primarily because my mom like it short. I tried a couple of times in those five or so years to grow it out, but always got sick of hearing her say how nice it looked short. I does probably look nice short (I have natural curl, and it controls better short), but guys like long hair, AND I just wanted to have other options of styling it (even though I don't have a CLUE how to start "styling" it). So I finally stood my ground (I am 30 after all) and told my mom BEFORE I started growing it out what I was going to do and why. My brothers HATED my short hair and tormented me endlessly about it (boys.... go figure). Anyway, it's gotten long enough to be past the awkward stage, and I can put it up or leave it down with minimal curl misbehavior. Because my curls want to "lock", when my hair is long enough to start to curl, but not quite long enough to make the loop, they stick out uncontrollably and it's HORRIBLE. I've gotten past that. My dilemma, I like it down.... my mom likes it no other way but the sides pulled up into one pony tail..... not all of it up, not two pony tails, not down.... just the sides pulled back into one pony. I wear it different ways, she ALWAYS comments. If she sees me get in my car in the morning from her house, she'll call me on the cell phone..... "You're not wearing your hair like that are you??" "No, I was going to stop at the truck stop on the way to work and use the trucker's shower...... they have a special sale running this week.... five minutes of hot water for $1.00!!!" Of course I'm wearing it like that!!! I'll come over, and first thing "Let me see your hair." "Don't you want to put it up in a clip?" (As she's pushing the side up with her fingers) "Well, yeah, I really did want to, but I'm prohibited by law to wear it that way on the last Friday of each month, so I was just stuck wearing it this way today. Pity isn't it???" ARGH!!! If I get frustrated, she gets hurt and crabby. How do I get her to understand that it's MY hair, I like it down, AND the styles have changed since she was in high school?? Maybe when poodle skirts come back in I'll start wearing my hair up again. I don't mean any disrespect, but at 30 years old, I'd like to be able to decide how to wear my hair.

 

[Serena]

I had a mom like that. It is YOUR hair. Nicely tell her to get over it.

 

[browneyes]

Ask her how old she was when her mom stopped worrying about her hair.

 

[nkjzmom]

You said it best......"it's MY hair, I like it down, AND the styles have changed since she was in high school".

All you can do is tell her the truth....tell her you love her, care about her feelings, but it's HAIR for crying out loud....it's not a life and death decision that she needs to beat you over the head about. My grandmother was like this my whole life over my clothes, my hair, my makeup.....at times it really hurt our relationship. I wish that I would have told her back then how I really felt.

Be kind, but honest.

 

[Princess Michelle]

Just tell her it bothers you. If she is anything like my mom it won't make a difference but at least you told her.


BTW, I think you should just be glad that you are still young enough to have hair unlike some "other" DISers 'round here.

 

[Saffron]

I thought you were about 22! You don't look anywhere near thirty!

Okay, back to your hair.

 

[Fishbone†]

Yes Saffron I know, my parents took me out for my 29th birthday, and the lady brought a kiddie menu for me..... my mom said " Oh, it's her birthday today, we're going to let her order off the regular menu"
And, right before Christmas, our family went to a buffet, and they charged us for 3 kid's buffets..... me and my two nieces. Dorks - if they can't bother to ask, then $3.00 it is..... cheap lunch!!

 

[debster812]

I think you look super young too. (not to mention how young at heart you are, my Fishy† friend).

It's your hair. Do what you want. It's our mom's job to harrass us about stuff like this. Trust me on this, I know of what I speak!!!

 

[paras4ri]

My mom tends to do that too......although I think my hair has looked pretty much the same for the past 20 years......well, except for the perm-years!

Enjoy the kiddie menus for the humor in being offered one, and enjoy the cost of the kids buffet! I was very sad when I stopped getting carded.

 

[Princess_Aurora]

Just do what I do...ignore her. Whenever she mentions something about your hair, just don't try to argue about it with her. If she starts messing with it, push her hand away. She'll eventually get the hint. Just don't let it bother her...or at least don't let her see you being bothered by it.

 

[kdibattista]

Make those types of comments back to her (before she has a chance to say anything to you). Ask her "what happened to her hair today" or "did you get it cut", with a shocked face or don't even make it about her hair "is that a new outfit"? Do it subtly. I know it sounds childish but it works.... TRUST ME!!!! She will get the message.

 

[nativetxn]

You are allowing your mother to aggravate you. You are the one in control of this situation. As you said, you are 30 years old. So try to pretend that you don't care. Stop making the style changes she wants and wear the styles you want.

Most importantly, stop letting her aggravate you. Life is way to short to let something like this get to you.

At least pretend that it doesn't aggravate you and next time she says, "you aren't going to work with your hair like that, are you?" just answer with a quiet yes and don't ask her why she is asking. Better yet, don't answer the phone while you are driving, it isn't safe anyway.

Good luck with this sweetie. I like the idea of asking her what she has done to her hair before she can ask you about yours

Katholyn

 

[luv2nascar]

my mom stopped asking if I hung the curtains in my new house
when I asked if she had bought the curtain rods yet
I mean its not like we didn't have great wooden blinds
so it's not a privacy issue just looks
she's worried about the looks