It's like a Middle School version of Glee!

[Magpie]

My children were just telling me about the end-of-year "Dance-Off" competition at their school.

My 8th grade daughter, after gushing about some boy who could moonwalk amazingly well, commented that there was another boy who did an "Interpretive Dance".

My 7th grade son said something I couldn't hear, and my daughter rolled her eyes. "My brother doesn't think boys should do interpretive dance."

"He was wearing a ballet outfit," protested my son, sounding outraged. "And he was gliding all over the place!"

I fixed him with my best "Mom Glare". "Boys can do anything," I reminded him.

My son got sort of puckered look on his face, and I sighed. "Except give birth," I said.

"That's exactly what I was going to say!" said my son, delighted.

"I know." To my daughter, I said, "I hope everyone still supported this boy for being brave enough to get up on stage."

"Oh sure," she said. "A whole bunch of the girls even stood up and clapped. It was just a few boys who said he was gay, and they just sat there with their arms crossed, frowning."

"That wasn't you, I hope!" I said to my son.

"No," he said. "I clapped. But I don't like him. He talks with his voice all high, and he's not nice to people."

I reminded him that it's hard for some people to be nice, if most people are always being mean to them. And then I let it go.

But boy oh boy... this poor kid has got a long hard road ahead of him. He's only in grade seven - I can't imagine what it will be like for him when he gets to high school!

 

[NotUrsula]

Remember this one universal truth: Chicks dig guys who are good dancers.

I point this out to my son every time he cops one of these attitudes. Dancing is a skill that ALWAYS improves one's social prospects, no matter what your orientation is.

 

[Magpie]

Remember this one universal truth: Chicks dig guys who are good dancers.

I point this out to my son every time he cops one of these attitudes. Dancing is a skill that ALWAYS improves one's social prospects, no matter what your orientation is.

Too true!

I do love me a man that can dance.

 

[Luvchefmic]

2 words Patrick Swayze

 

[golfgal]

Why would you say that? Just because he can dance? Dance is very popular with the boys in our area. What is even worse, you are passing that attitude along to your children.

 

[Magpie]

Why would you say that? Just because he can dance? Dance is very popular with the boys in our area. What is even worse, you are passing that attitude along to your children.

What did I say?

 

[golfgal]

What did I say?

But boy oh boy... this poor kid has got a long hard road ahead of him. He's only in grade seven - I can't imagine what it will be like for him when he gets to high school!

This

 

[FlightlessDuck]

This

I think you are misinterpreting:

"Oh sure," she said. "A whole bunch of the girls even stood up and clapped. It was just a few boys who said he was gay, and they just sat there with their arms crossed, frowning."

I would have said the same thing as OP (about having a long hard road). High school boys are horrible about things like this. He's going to have a rough time in high school.

 

[Rora]

2 words Patrick Swayze

Amen!!

OP- I think you did the right thing. You said nothing but postive things, IMO, in favor of the boy. And you are correct, he does he a hard road ahead of him even if he's not gay. Sadly, not everyone is so accepting of people venturing outside gender roles/ stereotypes. Good for him for doing something he wanted to do! He clearly got some nice attention from the girls!

 

[Magpie]

This

Do you really think high school's going to be a bed of roses for this kid?

He might turn into another Patrick Swayze or Johnny Weir, or who knows what when he grows up. And that'd be awesome! But I stand by what I said - he's got a long hard road ahead of him, before he gets there.

And if I pass on to my son the message that it's not easy being green... I mean, radically different from everyone else, then I think I'll have done a good thing. I want him to have compassion, even for people he doesn't like.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Why would you say that? Just because he can dance? Dance is very popular with the boys in our area. What is even worse, you are passing that attitude along to your children.

Remember this one universal truth: Chicks dig guys who are good dancers.

I point this out to my son every time he cops one of these attitudes. Dancing is a skill that ALWAYS improves one's social prospects, no matter what your orientation is.

2 words Patrick Swayze

Do you really think high school's going to be a bed of roses for this kid?

He might turn into another Patrick Swayze or Johnny Weir, or who knows what when he grows up. And that'd be awesome! But I stand by what I said - he's got a long hard road ahead of him, before he gets there.

And if I pass on to my son the message that it's not easy being green... I mean, radically different from everyone else, then I think I'll have done a good thing. I want him to have compassion, even for people he doesn't like.

I think you OP said exactly the RIGHT thing, basically passing on to your DS that we are all different & will all be labeled. In this case that a guy can dance (straight or gay) he will have a hard road...because he will be labeled, he's not "conforming to the norm, whatever the hell that is !

I grew up with a guy that was totally made fun of all the time because he was in the drama club and could dance and sing...he's the most "straight" blue collar worker I know that's in construction. As far as Patrick Swayze (can't even say the name without ) he said many times over the course of his life how hard things were but because of his Mom he pursued his dreams

Good Job Mom !

 

[LiberalPrincess]

I love that the kid had the guts to get up and do the kind of dance that he likes -- knowing he would probably get hammered for it. Sounds like he has a pretty great support system as well. OP, I think you handled the situation beautifully!

 

[ChrizJen]

Why would you say that? Just because he can dance? Dance is very popular with the boys in our area. What is even worse, you are passing that attitude along to your children.

Do you really think high school's going to be a bed of roses for this kid?

He might turn into another Patrick Swayze or Johnny Weir, or who knows what when he grows up. And that'd be awesome! But I stand by what I said - he's got a long hard road ahead of him, before he gets there.

And if I pass on to my son the message that it's not easy being green... I mean, radically different from everyone else, then I think I'll have done a good thing. I want him to have compassion, even for people he doesn't like.

OP, I think you're absolutely right in what you said, and in the way you handled things with your son.
golfgal, I think you're being a bit harsh. The OP obviously wasn't being judgemental. In fact, she was defending the boy to her son. She was demonstrating understanding and respect for diversity to her kids. BRAVO to you, OP!!
She was just stating the obvious in that if he's already facing ridicule and abuse from classmates at this point, he's going to have a heck of a time in high school. Regardless of whether or not dancing is popular with boys in your area, this particular boy is being harassed and belittled by his classmates.

 

[Darsa]

Wow, OP, I really can't think of a way you could've handled it better. And having a much younger brother who is gay and has known it since sophomore year in HS, he had a tough time as would most people who are labeled as "different". I don't see ANY reason at all why you would want to have your kids believe otherwise; don't they live in the same real world as the rest of us?

 

[golfgal]

Do you really think high school's going to be a bed of roses for this kid?

He might turn into another Patrick Swayze or Johnny Weir, or who knows what when he grows up. And that'd be awesome! But I stand by what I said - he's got a long hard road ahead of him, before he gets there.

And if I pass on to my son the message that it's not easy being green... I mean, radically different from everyone else, then I think I'll have done a good thing. I want him to have compassion, even for people he doesn't like.

Well, I guess we are lucky to have lived in towns were dance is popular with boys and no one would have thought twice to see a boy do an interpretive dance for a talent show. We have a HUGE musical review at our high school each year. They put on 10 shows and sell out in hours for our 1000 seat auditorium. There are many boys in the show dancing all kinds of different dances, many of them interpretive. Competition to get into the show is pretty tough too. No, in our high school this boy wouldn't be given a second look.

 

[Magpie]

Well, I guess we are lucky to have lived in towns were dance is popular with boys and no one would have thought twice to see a boy do an interpretive dance for a talent show. We have a HUGE musical review at our high school each year. They put on 10 shows and sell out in hours for our 1000 seat auditorium. There are many boys in the show dancing all kinds of different dances, many of them interpretive. Competition to get into the show is pretty tough too. No, in our high school this boy wouldn't be given a second look.

That's great! You're very lucky. There's an arts high school in our town too, so perhaps this boy will find acceptance there.

But FWIW, I don't think it's entirely about dancing, so much as it was the choice of dance style and maybe something about the kid himself. There were other boys dancing in the show, and they weren't given a hard time. Three of them did a medley of Michael Jackson songs that was apparently a big hit with both boys and girls. That was the "moon walking" my daughter was gushing over.

 

[golfgal]

That's great! You're very lucky. There's an arts high school in our town too, so perhaps this boy will find acceptance there.

But FWIW, I don't think it's entirely about dancing, so much as it was the choice of dance style and maybe something about the kid himself. There were other boys dancing in the show, and they weren't given a hard time. Three of them did a medley of Michael Jackson songs that was apparently a big hit with both boys and girls. That was the "moon walking" my daughter was gushing over.

Our kids don't go to an Arts high school, just a regular public school where the arts (band, choir, dance) are popular.