It's a little overwhelming

[chip007]

My daughter, 6, and I are going Aug. 29-Sept. 6, staying at the WL, but it's hard to get excited this year.

This is our first visit since my partner died from ovarian cancer in January. We had gone once a year for the past 3 years as a family, and now I'm facing going as a single parent.

What's worse is I keep having to have these discussions about how things will be different: i.e. she can't go off with Mommy while I check in at the airport or the hotel, or order lunch, or find a table . . . .

Our Number 1 Rule in the past was: "Stay with Mama or Mommy." But that doesn't even work anymore.

I'm sure I'm not alone in having to make this transition, but sometimes it's a little overwhelming.

 

[TagsMissy]

Sorry for your loss but I am glad you are making the trip. It will be good for you and your daughter -- the smile on her face and joyful expressions will make it worth it in the end. Each day is a small step forward as you experience firsts.. I hope you have a wonderful vacation.

 

[rosiep]

I'm so sorry for your loss. The grieving process is a long road. You'll be in my prayers.

How brave of you to go alone to Disney. Try to make this the beginning of a new tradition, do not try to recreate the old one.

 

[rpmdfw]

I'm so sorry for your loss. The grieving process is a long road. You'll be in my prayers.

How brave of you to go alone to Disney. Try to make this the beginning of a new tradition, do not try to recreate the old one.

Rosie is right. (Who knew? )

Take it one step at a time, and build new happy memories to add to the previous ones. The journey isn't always easy, but you and your daughter have each other to help get through it together.

I also offer my heartfelt condolences. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult the past few months have been for you both.

 

[OrlandoMike]

Like the others have said, so sorry for your loss....take it one step at a time...

Here is a great blog about traveling to Disney after loosing a spouse.....great advice!


http://land.allears.net/blogs/allearsteam/2010/01/disney_world_after_the_loss_of.html

 

[chip007]

Thank you, everyone.

I've tried to plan a trip that will keep us busy with lots of character meals, including as many new ones as I could swing, so we'd have new experiences. I also skipped some of the old standbys like Chef Mickey's because I thought that would be too hard.

I let my daughter choose the hotel. Originally she picked the "big white one" but then she changed her mind and wanted to go back to the WL where we were the last two years. (I think it's easier for her to know what to expect.)

 

[kingLouiethe1]

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. Dealing with kids and grief can definitely be a challenge.

This video was really helpful for my niece when great grandma died, and there were also some great tips for adults when talking to grieving kids.
http://www.sesameworkshop.org/grief

I hope you have a lovely trip, difficult as it is going to be. Don't be afraid to grieve, it's something we don't make enough time for in modern society, and take the opportunities that you can to remember your partner.

 

[Sphyrna]

Sorry for your loss! I think it's good that you are still making the trip. I think you and your daughter will have a great time. It will be tough at times as memories come rushing back, but just remember she's always with you both.

 

[rocksinriots]

Just to point you towards a resource. When my mother passed away (I was 15) of breast cancer I was helped a lot by an organization called Cancer Care. They have very specific phone support groups and other resources to help you cope. It helped so much because frankly I did not have time or energy to go to a therapist's office.

http://www.cancercare.org/

As a person who has lost both of my parents to cancer at a young age (I am only 26) I also want to stress to every single person reading this thread how important it is to stay on top of your health. Get yourself checked and live life to the fullest. Make memories and spread love and joy.

To Chip007- I wish you and your daughter all of the peace and happiness in the world. Bless your family.

 

[Mathfailure]

I am so sorry for your loss, and know it has to be a bittersweet trip no matter what.

I would encourage you to speak to your daughter about her other Mom frequently. Children so young have no sense of time, and it may seem distant in her memory. So remember good times together, so the memories can be implanted deep within her.

Cry if you need to, and don't try to hide the tears from your daughter. Your tears give her the permission to be sad sometimes also, and not to hide it. Pretending that all is okay when it so obviously is not, will be confusing to her.

I truly hope new memories and a closer tie with your daughter comes from this trip.

Kathleen

 

[C&G'sMama]

Please know someone else is thinking of you and your daughter right now. Very cool that she is helping to plan the trip. It will be nice memories for both of you.

 

[Holly]

I sorry for your loss.


I hope that you and your daughter have a lovely time together.

 

[wallyb]

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I am so sorry.

I know that it's important to lay down new memories, but don't discount the flood of memories that will happen once you arrive. You won't be able to help remembering... and that can be a healing process, or part of it.

Take care and every good wish for a peaceful, healing visit.

 

[TuckandStuiesMom]

Hugs for you and your daughter both. Here's hoping the memories you'll make on this trip, will be happy ones; complementing those from your previous visits.

 

[hematite153]

Like the others before me, you and your DD will be in my thoughts. I wish you well as you learn this new family configuration and as you miss 'Mommy' together while having new experiences and remembering the good times.

 

[chip007]

We're leaving in three days, and D6 is getting psyched.

I think we'll have a good time. Weather looks good, ADRs set (including breakfast and dinner at the castle), costumes organized, new DS game purchased for the plane. Still a lot to do, but getting there.

Thank you all for your support.

 

[rosiep]

Wishing you a great trip filled with pixie dust. Please be sure to post back and let us know how it went.

 

[chip007]

Had a great time with great weather.

The hardest part -- without a doubt -- was IllumiNations at Epcot, which we saw twice. The song just did me in:

With the stillness of the night
there comes a time to understand
to reach out and touch tomorrow
take the future in our hand

We can see a new horizon
built on all that we have done
and our dreams begin another
thousand circles 'round the sun

We go on
to the joy and through the tears
We go on
to discover new frontiers
Moving on
with the current of the years

We go on
moving forward, now as one
Moving on
with a spirit born to run
Ever on
with each rising sun

To a new day
We go on

We go on

 

[DVCDan36]

So glad you all had a great time. From time to time I think about how close I was to loosing my partner to illness and how Disney was his goal when he got better (he had never been). This is our 3rd trip since surgery 3 years ago and glad to have the memories.