EDWARD: Happy b--
BELLA: NO DON'T TALK ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY I AM NOW A YEAR OLDER THAN YOU I'M SUCH A COUGAR lol except okay yeah you are a hundred years old YOU ARE SUCH A DIRTY OLD MAN OMG SO GROSS hanging around like this with an underage teenage girl except wait I'm legal now because OH GOD I AM EIGHTEEN AND THAT IS ONE MORE THAN SEVENTEEN AND I AM SO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!
om
JACOB:

...?
EDWARD: Yeah... this is my life now.
I love this quote.