It was a dark and stormy night.....

[Pam]

ok....... so it wasn't really storming. But it was dark. And the weather forecaster said there was a chance for snow....

I was walking my regular beat. My name is Pam, I use a keyboard, and I'm a DISer.

It was lonely out here in cyberland on this cold and dark Thanksgiving night. My pants were way toooo tight from over-consumption at the dinner table. I had blown the budget at the local Wal-Mart Supercenter, and TV just didn't interest me. DH was in the basement doing "man" things, DS hit the sack, and DD was on a date. It was just me, even the cats had deserted me.

I pulled up my trusty swivel chair and booted up my dear companion, my MAC G-3. G didn't let me down, he sprang to live and dialed up the internet connection server faster than I could say, "Tom Turkey." I sped through my collection of bookmarks and rested my mouse on the one marked, "DIS Boards."
And that, folks, is how I ended up here.

To be continued.........

 

[kejoda]

LOL Pam! You can bet we won't desert you that is until we pass out from laughing to much.

Of course if you cook everyone is a goner.

 

[Pam]

Beccy,
Don't make me whip out my ticket book and cite you for wisecracking on a public forum!!

Actually - I burnt microwaveable popcorn almost 10 hours ago and my poor house still reeks of the smell!

Pam

 

[shep]

Someone needs some Yankee Candle dust...

 

[WillyJ]

Intresting tale doll. . but there are a thousand of them in the big city. .

 

[Pam]

Shep,
Don't do candles at our house since my DD almost burnt the place down two years ago. No lie......!

Pam

 

[shep]

Someone needs some Yankee Candle dust...

 

[Pam]

Yeah, well, WillyJ,
Of all the gin joints in the world, you had to walk into this one.....





Pam
(I wouldn't be this bored if you and Maggie had thrown the Thanksgiving bash......)

 

[helenabear]

Pam... where you come up with these stories is beyond me, but you sure have me laughing

 

[Pam]

Pam... where you come up with these stories is beyond me, but you sure have me laughing

Stick with me Kid, walk my beat - listen and learn! I have a 1001 stories and I know where the best doughnuts and a cup o' joe can be found.....
Pam

 

[browneyes]

Did you buy chance have some rum cake, heavy on the rum, negative on the cake, Pam?

 

[Tony-NJ]

LOL

 

[Pam]

Did you buy chance have some rum cake, heavy on the rum, negative on the cake, Pam?

Hiccup!
I resemble that remark, Sharpie....I mean Suzy...... I mean Shannon!

Hey! Who moved my computer screen......... Why am I seeing 3 of everything........

pAmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[Tony-NJ]

eh Pam? Just the rum...

 

[Pam]

Pam bobbles and sways as she clutches the near empty bottle of rum to her chest. She squints and thinks she sees Tony and his 2 other brothers. Wow! Pam never knew Tony was a triplet!!

Uncle Tony,
It's all your fault - you wouldn't take me along to your sister's house because you "were afraid I'd do something stupid and embarrass you again!" Sheesh....... what did you think I'd do - get drunk and kiss the dog?! Oh wait, that is what I did the last time, huh?

You mean you can make cake with rum??
Pam

 

[jldriscoll]

....I wanna hear more!!!!

 

[Pam]

You want more you say? Ok..........

It gets lonely out here on the cyber beat. Sometimes the loneliness threatens to chew me up and spit me out - I'm just like a hunk of Red Man in the mouth of a baseball player. In the summer I can hear the crickets, in the fall I listen to the leaves dropping from the trees, and in the winter, on a night much like this - I feel Old Man Winter blow his breath. I feel it cut clear through to my bones. But I still walk the beat - because someone has to do it.

There are those who accuse me of being a "Peepin' Pam." A little harsh, if you ask me. Hey, I have a badge to walk this beat, and I can peep anywhere I want to. Oh - and the things I see! They make a middle-aged woman blush - see? There's EROS frolicking with Mrs. Claus. (Somehow I always had her pictured differently!)

And I've caught Wagamama spray painting the neighbor's dog!

I've hitched a ride in the YaYa's Enforcer Tank to make an errant spouse see the errors of his ways. (That was lots of fun! )

I even had Thanksgiving dinner at C. Ann's - and I won't comment any further on that! And what a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade performance by Marilyn and Beth - that one they'll be talking about for years.

The wind may howl, the brawls on the DIS will happen at lightning speed, and my family will have to wait for their supper 'cause I'm on the computer. Well, that might be a good thing for my family.

Neither rain nor snow nor dark of night will keep me from my patrol.
My name is Pam and I use a keyboard. I'm a DISer.

 

[WillyJ]

That's quite a story you got there sister. . you're a regular Josephine Friday. I don't care much for coppers; especially dame coppers, but I bet you rake in a lot of dough walking a beat like that. Maybe later you'd like to meet up with me at the local gin joint and rest your dogs while knocking back a couple rounds of hootch. . .

I know a dive down off 42nd street. . you ain't gonna run into the Vanderbilts there, but they do sweep the floors every other day. . just don't try any funny business- I'm crusing steady with a cute little doll with a heart of gold here on the DIS, and that kind of trouble I don't need. But while I ain't no rat, but if you play your cards right and slide the right number of Benjamins my way, maybe I heard a thing or two you might be interested in. .

'Course if you don't have the cash, then I don't have the time.. and you can tell your story walking. . .

 

[Pam]

Do you take MasterCard, WillyJ??


Yeah, and a right classy dame, you've got there, buster. Makes me wonder what she sees in a rat like you. Yeah, I'm calling you a rat, Mister! You talk about the floors being swept every other day, what you don't say is that it's you who's doing the sweeping.......

I've seen your kind in every corner of the Earth. You hide in the corner with your back to the wall and your eye on the door. You don't think I can't see that five arm you're packing? You sit there and drink your cheap whiskey and pull out your dame's photo and profess your undying love. But if you don't come clean with this lady copper, you're gonna have a long time to gaze at her photo, while you're doin' time in the slammer. I hope nothin' happens to that pretty boy face of yours..... that would be a cryin' shame.






(I give up!! You have outwitted and outwrote me and if we were on Survivor, you would outlast and outsurvive me! I bow to the Master. )

 

[JulesMom]

You all are too witty for me