Issue with Financial Planner--looking for thoughts/input

[wabbott]

If/when you decide to change advisors, tell them upfront why. And also tell them that you will periodically "audit" their performance and attention to detail. Make a phone call every so often with a couple of innocent questions just to let them know you are watching.

I can understand being unhappy at paying someone to handle things and then finding they're not worth the expense. Sooner or later, you will have the skills and self-confidence to do everything yourselves and save the money.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Part of the issue with handling things ourselves is, frankly, DH can't. He's a smart guy, but he has no short-term memory (he has an actual diagnosis). He doesn't care about money--things get lost and forgotten when he handles them. That's why I took over the finances soon after we were married (almost 37 years ago). Him handling our finances would also put my money anxiety through the roof--he would do worse than our current financial advisor! Even now, when I pay the bills, we've had problems with bills addressed to him not getting paid. I don't open his mail--all he has to do is put them in my bill holder on top of the desk. sometimes, even that doesn't happen.

Meanwhile, our money has many moving parts--various trusts, assorted IRAs, a couple different brokerage accounts. I could probably handle them, BUT--and this is huge to me--this money all came down from my MIL. I don't know if I feel comfortable being the main money handler. It's probably way bigger to me than it is to my husband, but there you have it. Having advisors say "sell this stock" or "rebalance this" adds an additional layer of separation. I completely recognize that this is my issue.

I'm going to have a talk with DH and see what he's thinking. He was in a meeting and missed out on the whole debacle this morning, but I told him about it.

 

[mylilnikita]

I’d never let someone mess my money up twice, including myself.


Cut ties with the company and move on.

 

[wabbott]

Part of the issue with handling things ourselves is, frankly, DH can't. He's a smart guy, but he has no short-term memory (he has an actual diagnosis). He doesn't care about money--things get lost and forgotten when he handles them. That's why I took over the finances soon after we were married (almost 37 years ago). Him handling our finances would also put my money anxiety through the roof--he would do worse than our current financial advisor! Even now, when I pay the bills, we've had problems with bills addressed to him not getting paid. I don't open his mail--all he has to do is put them in my bill holder on top of the desk. sometimes, even that doesn't happen.

Meanwhile, our money has many moving parts--various trusts, assorted IRAs, a couple different brokerage accounts. I could probably handle them, BUT--and this is huge to me--this money all came down from my MIL. I don't know if I feel comfortable being the main money handler. It's probably way bigger to me than it is to my husband, but there you have it. Having advisors say "sell this stock" or "rebalance this" adds an additional layer of separation. I completely recognize that this is my issue.

I'm going to have a talk with DH and see what he's thinking. He was in a meeting and missed out on the whole debacle this morning, but I told him about it.

IMO, you're making progress. The fact that you caught this issue early and that you on your own discovered the Roth errors proves that.

 

[QueenIsabella]

DH and I talked last night. No firm decision, as we want to take time to consider our options. He's in favor of switching advisors and sticking with the same financial company. That makes sense to me--the issues we've had have involved errors/lack of oversight on the part of the office, not so much the company.

On a better note, the money was back in my checking account as of 6am.

 

[Hisgirl]

So glad the money is back!!

You say you don't like online banking.....

It's very important that you realize that all, and I mean ALL of your banking is online.

And everybody can see it online.

Everyone but you.

By not embracing and learning how to safeguard yourselves, you are opening yourself up to fraud.

I'm not criticizing...just wanting to point out a very scary fact you shared. And I'm sympathetic with what you described. I'm glad you caught the errors!

Please, please, I beg you. find a way to get on board and 'see' your finances online. That is where they are. That is where they live.
Online. On a screen in bright digital glowing numbers.

There are rules the banks go by which can or cannot be in your favor in regards to fraud.

Should money disappear from your account, it is something that needs to be brought to their attention, the sooner the better.
Waiting to see a monthly statement is putting your finances at risk.

I think it's great you still keep a paper accounting of your finances. I have always kept a paper budget book. I'm a financial counselor, have a masters degree in financial planning and have helped folks with their personal finances for over 30 years and in this day, having an online presence you check daily is of the utmost importance.

Set alerts so you get a text or email if more than $100 is deducted from your acct. Set up other alert parameters. The bad actors out there already have your personal information on the dark web and it's up to you and me to do everything we can to protect our money.

I hope this gets resolved to your liking soon!

 

[Hisgirl]

And....

If you want to stay all paper and not do banking online, maybe consider just getting daily balance emails every morning? I'm with what others said, maybe it's time to look elsewhere for a FP. That's a huge error.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Actually, I do some online banking. I also have the bank's app, and check my balances almost daily. I say almost because I didn't check first thing Tuesday morning, because my Monday blew up and I was too distraught to sleep well, causing me to wake up late.

In fact, I recently got foreign currency online, for 2 of my kids who are traveling this summer. There was a minor glitch--it would only take money out of my son's savings account versus my checking account. So, I got the currency, then turned right around and transferred $400 to DS18's savings account--no harm, no foul. Currency was delivered by Fedex a few days later.

It will take some time for me to get more comfortable with online banking, for sure. But, I'm taking baby steps and working on it. I will also say that I have a lot fo confidence in Wells Fargo, as they've been very responsive and helpful throughout all of this.

 

[wabbott]

Actually, I do some online banking. I also have the bank's app, and check my balances almost daily. I say almost because I didn't check first thing Tuesday morning, because my Monday blew up and I was too distraught to sleep well, causing me to wake up late.

In fact, I recently got foreign currency online, for 2 of my kids who are traveling this summer. There was a minor glitch--it would only take money out of my son's savings account versus my checking account. So, I got the currency, then turned right around and transferred $400 to DS18's savings account--no harm, no foul. Currency was delivered by Fedex a few days later.

It will take some time for me to get more comfortable with online banking, for sure. But, I'm taking baby steps and working on it. I will also say that I have a lot fo confidence in Wells Fargo, as they've been very responsive and helpful throughout all of this.

Saw you commenting on that other thread today. How's things going for you and yours?

 

[QueenIsabella]

Saw you commenting on that other thread today. How's things going for you and yours?

We're switching to a new financial planner on 6/4. We had reams of paperwork to sign, as you might imagine. We also have a withdrawal on the first of the month that we want to make sure clears before the switch happens. We really like the new team.

As to online banking, I've taught DH how to use it, and just yesterday, we transferred fromDS18's checking to ours, to pay for a car part (he dinged a pole while driving to prom a few weeks back). In addition, DH's gym fees are being automatically transferred, as well as a few auto-payments for set cost bills (cell phone, cable). I don't see me getting comfortable with paying credit bills on auto-pay, but I have done some one-time transfers when I was going to be out of time when the bill arrives.

 

[wabbott]

We're switching to a new financial planner on 6/4. We had reams of paperwork to sign, as you might imagine. We also have a withdrawal on the first of the month that we want to make sure clears before the switch happens. We really like the new team.

As to online banking, I've taught DH how to use it, and just yesterday, we transferred fromDS18's checking to ours, to pay for a car part (he dinged a pole while driving to prom a few weeks back). In addition, DH's gym fees are being automatically transferred, as well as a few auto-payments for set cost bills (cell phone, cable). I don't see me getting comfortable with paying credit bills on auto-pay, but I have done some one-time transfers when I was going to be out of time when the bill arrives.

I was on a financial planning discussion yesterday, and it made me think of you all. Things still progressing ok?

 

[QueenIsabella]

I was on a financial planning discussion yesterday, and it made me think of you all. Things still progressing ok?

Well, sigh! it's been a tough couple months.

On the finance side, things are going mostly well. Our new planners have us saving on taxes (always good!), and I've decided to take Social Security at age 62 (2 years). I can bump up when DH takes his--he hasn't decided when, which is fine. We're having no issues with paying for college X3 and the wedding. OTOH, DH completely missed a credit card payment! When he realized, he paid it on the phone immediately--luckily, we had the $$ available. But there are late fees and interest--grrr!

OTOH, our personal life has been brutal. My youngest went to Japan...and came back with double pneumonia. He was hospitalized, but not before giving it to his brother (who got off with just antibiotics). Both are (mostly) fine now--more in a sec. The dog tore her ACL--she's fine now, too. Older son had foot surgery, he can't drive, but is in a walking cast for now. Then I got an infection on my foot (urgent care, ER visit). Then our cat got pillow foot. About 4 days after she started her course of antibiotics, she died! Not related at all--she'd had a heart murmur, and threw a clot that paralyzed her back legs (saddle thrombosis). She was only 6, but the vet said her prognosis was poor, and she likely wouldn't survive the trip to the vet school for surgery (90 minutes away). Limping me and walking cast son had to wrestle the poor thing into a carrier--it almost would have been comical, had it not been so tragic. They were able to keep her alive long enough for my younger two to come down from college--just a few miles away--and say their goodbyes. To say that we're shell-shocked (and a lot poorer) is an understatement. But, as with any pet, you can only love them while they're with you.

Sorry for the book--not the update you were looking for, I'm sure.

 

[wabbott]

Well, sigh! it's been a tough couple months.

On the finance side, things are going mostly well. Our new planners have us saving on taxes (always good!), and I've decided to take Social Security at age 62 (2 years). I can bump up when DH takes his--he hasn't decided when, which is fine. We're having no issues with paying for college X3 and the wedding. OTOH, DH completely missed a credit card payment! When he realized, he paid it on the phone immediately--luckily, we had the $$ available. But there are late fees and interest--grrr!

OTOH, our personal life has been brutal. My youngest went to Japan...and came back with double pneumonia. He was hospitalized, but not before giving it to his brother (who got off with just antibiotics). Both are (mostly) fine now--more in a sec. The dog tore her ACL--she's fine now, too. Older son had foot surgery, he can't drive, but is in a walking cast for now. Then I got an infection on my foot (urgent care, ER visit). Then our cat got pillow foot. About 4 days after she started her course of antibiotics, she died! Not related at all--she'd had a heart murmur, and threw a clot that paralyzed her back legs (saddle thrombosis). She was only 6, but the vet said her prognosis was poor, and she likely wouldn't survive the trip to the vet school for surgery (90 minutes away). Limping me and walking cast son had to wrestle the poor thing into a carrier--it almost would have been comical, had it not been so tragic. They were able to keep her alive long enough for my younger two to come down from college--just a few miles away--and say their goodbyes. To say that we're shell-shocked (and a lot poorer) is an understatement. But, as with any pet, you can only love them while they're with you.

Sorry for the book--not the update you were looking for, I'm sure.

Life does have a way of intervening, doesn't it? Good to hear y'all have dates for retirement. There was a WSJ article about an editor there who had just retired a couple of years ago and what they had learned. I'll hunt it up and see if I can get around the paywall.

Here it is

https://kanebridgenews.com/in-retirement-its-time-to-put-our-costs-under-the-microscope/

In Retirement, It’s Time to Put Our Costs Under the Microscope

We discovered all sorts of things we are paying for that we don’t really need or use. But there’s one cost we’re not ready to face.

By KAREN KREIDER YODER

 

[Frwinkley]

Well, sigh! it's been a tough couple months.

On the finance side, things are going mostly well. Our new planners have us saving on taxes (always good!), and I've decided to take Social Security at age 62 (2 years). I can bump up when DH takes his--he hasn't decided when, which is fine. We're having no issues with paying for college X3 and the wedding. OTOH, DH completely missed a credit card payment! When he realized, he paid it on the phone immediately--luckily, we had the $$ available. But there are late fees and interest--grrr!

OTOH, our personal life has been brutal. My youngest went to Japan...and came back with double pneumonia. He was hospitalized, but not before giving it to his brother (who got off with just antibiotics). Both are (mostly) fine now--more in a sec. The dog tore her ACL--she's fine now, too. Older son had foot surgery, he can't drive, but is in a walking cast for now. Then I got an infection on my foot (urgent care, ER visit). Then our cat got pillow foot. About 4 days after she started her course of antibiotics, she died! Not related at all--she'd had a heart murmur, and threw a clot that paralyzed her back legs (saddle thrombosis). She was only 6, but the vet said her prognosis was poor, and she likely wouldn't survive the trip to the vet school for surgery (90 minutes away). Limping me and walking cast son had to wrestle the poor thing into a carrier--it almost would have been comical, had it not been so tragic. They were able to keep her alive long enough for my younger two to come down from college--just a few miles away--and say their goodbyes. To say that we're shell-shocked (and a lot poorer) is an understatement. But, as with any pet, you can only love them while they're with you.

Sorry for the book--not the update you were looking for, I'm sure.

I love all things financial. So sorry to hear all that you've been through. Hope everyone is finally on the mend!

If I may ask--what has made you decide to take SS at age 62? DH and I are already retired (we're 63) and are on the fence about when to take SS. We don't need the cash now, could wait until 67 (our full retirement age according to SS, and thereby get more each month for the remainder of our lives), but I hate the idea of waiting. We may just split the difference and take it at 65. Most financial people you listen to recommend you wait until at least 67--70 is even better.

My rationale for taking it at 65 is this--by taking it, we leave our retirement assets in tact. We should never have to touch that money, except in the case of long term care, should either of us need that. Our DD would inherit our assets (we only have one child). Nobody can inherit your SS, should you chose not to take it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Life does have a way of intervening, doesn't it? Good to hear y'all have dates for retirement. There was a WSJ article about an editor there who had just retired a couple of years ago and what they had learned. I'll hunt it up and see if I can get around the paywall.

Here it is

https://kanebridgenews.com/in-retirement-its-time-to-put-our-costs-under-the-microscope/

In Retirement, It’s Time to Put Our Costs Under the Microscope

We discovered all sorts of things we are paying for that we don’t really need or use. But there’s one cost we’re not ready to face.

By KAREN KREIDER YODER

Thanks! I subscribe to the WSJ, and already read the article. My only, minor quibble is--everyone should do this periodically, not just retirees. But, retirees may have more time, and be more motivated to evaluate the value of subscriptions and the like.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I love all things financial. So sorry to hear all that you've been through. Hope everyone is finally on the mend!

If I may ask--what has made you decide to take SS at age 62? DH and I are already retired (we're 63) and are on the fence about when to take SS. We don't need the cash now, could wait until 67 (our full retirement age according to SS, and thereby get more each month for the remainder of our lives), but I hate the idea of waiting. We may just split the difference and take it at 65. Most financial people you listen to recommend you wait until at least 67--70 is even better.

My rationale for taking it at 65 is this--by taking it, we leave our retirement assets in tact. We should never have to touch that money, except in the case of long term care, should either of us need that. Our DD would inherit our assets (we only have one child). Nobody can inherit your SS, should you chose not to take it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I'll be taking it, mostly because I can. The SS in my name will be less--I had a good salary, once, but have been a SAHM for 30 years. My health is not the best, so why risk leaving it on the table? DH has better longevity genes than I do. And we still have kid expenses--youngest is a freshman in college, #3 wants law school (which we said we'd pay for, in exchange for her going to the cheap, local college). #2 is autistic, he's 27 with 6 classes to go--he goes part-time. But--he may never launch.

I figure, even if I take SS, and don't spend it--it's that much more for future expenses. Travel is big in our family--the youngest is looking at a semester in Geneva, #3 wants to do a Lichtenstein/Switzerland/Italy trip, we were planning on going to Iceland next year, but then my oldest decided to get married... You get the idea.

 

[wabbott]

I love all things financial. So sorry to hear all that you've been through. Hope everyone is finally on the mend!

If I may ask--what has made you decide to take SS at age 62? DH and I are already retired (we're 63) and are on the fence about when to take SS. We don't need the cash now, could wait until 67 (our full retirement age according to SS, and thereby get more each month for the remainder of our lives), but I hate the idea of waiting. We may just split the difference and take it at 65. Most financial people you listen to recommend you wait until at least 67--70 is even better.

My rationale for taking it at 65 is this--by taking it, we leave our retirement assets in tact. We should never have to touch that money, except in the case of long term care, should either of us need that. Our DD would inherit our assets (we only have one child). Nobody can inherit your SS, should you chose not to take it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I took SS @ 62, but my wife waited until full retirement age. I'm 74 and my wife is 68. Looking back, I probably should have waited until FRA for mine too. At the time, I wasn't sure we had sufficient resources to live on. Turns out we would have had enough.

And then there's the calculation about life expectancy, which at best is an educated guess. It's always been said that if you expect to live longer than about age 78, then wait until FRA. That's about the breakeven point where the higher rate of payout going forward more than makes up for the reduced payout at 62.

But if your parents passed away at a young age, and your siblings likewise, then 62 looks awful good.

 

[Frwinkley]

Thanks so much for both of your responses.

Our thought is to take it at 65 (maybe 67 but certainly no later). We'll save it for future expenses if we don't need it immediately.

 

[AnnaS]

I also took it at 62 - did not touch it......I barely collected a year and my DH passed at 64 before his 65th birthday.

They are personal decisions and one needs to look at their finances. I would have had to wait until I am almost 68 to collect full benefits. I would have to dip into savings for the next 5/6 years. I can dip into savings/distribution later on if needed. Why risk and leave it on the table if something happens. Between both of our SS, I don't even get the full amount DH was getting because I am not full retirement age. The long term plan did not work out for us.

Even though both of our parents passed 80s/mid 80s. I have a sister who passed at 47 and my DH's two brothers passed at 47 and one at 60. If I can enjoy some years with some quality of life now, I will take it. I am not waiting to get the extra few dollars when I am almost in my 70s. Will I be alive? Will I be healthy? Able to move around?

I can get it now - front end or back end.

I took my small/cut pension from work also late in my late 50s. I did not touch this also. I would have had to wait again until I am 67/68 to collect this pension. All these years I collected, how many years would it take for me to recuperate what I collected. (I did stop working at the time/babysat grandchildren/still do).

We all have our own thinking on this and waiting until late in life is usually/always recommended. But I am living my life and in the end right or wrong, if it works to my benefit or not, the decision is mine.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I also took it at 62 - did not touch it......I barely collected a year and my DH passed at 64 before his 65th birthday.

They are personal decisions and one needs to look at their finances. I would have had to wait until I am almost 68 to collect full benefits. I would have to dip into savings for the next 5/6 years. I can dip into savings/distribution later on if needed. Why risk and leave it on the table if something happens. Between both of our SS, I don't even get the full amount DH was getting because I am not full retirement age. The long term plan did not work out for us.

Even though both of our parents passed 80s/mid 80s. I have a sister who passed at 47 and my DH's two brothers passed at 47 and one at 60. If I can enjoy some years with some quality of life now, I will take it. I am not waiting to get the extra few dollars when I am almost in my 70s. Will I be alive? Will I be healthy? Able to move around?

I can get it now - front end or back end.

I took my small/cut pension from work also late in my late 50s. I did not touch this also. I would have had to wait again until I am 67/68 to collect this pension. All these years I collected, how many years would it take for me to recuperate what I collected. (I did stop working at the time/babysat grandchildren/still do).

We all have our own thinking on this and waiting until late in life is usually/always recommended. But I am living my life and in the end right or wrong, if it works to my benefit or not, the decision is mine.

Definitely an individual decision--and you're never going to hear from the people who planned to take SS at 70, but didn't live long enough! I buried my brother last year (passed at age 61), and a few cousins, and we've had friends bury spouses. It's like Vegas--everyone thinks THEY are going to beat the odds!

My husband has better odds for longevity, looking at this family--but he also has dementia on both sides. I say, better to take the money early, have cash in hand--if nothing else, invest it, don't worry about "breaking even".