Is using "Hey" offensive??

[John VN]

I was taught that saying "what?" when you didn't hear someone was rude. So I try not to say that. Blame my mom!

I voted "maybe" for saying hey. I was also taught that it was rude, but I've found that it varies depending on where in the country you live. In the south I see it's commonly used and not taken rudely. In the northeast (NYC, Boston, etc) I've found it's considered rude. So I try not to say that, either.

I don't think I'd be offended if someone said to me "hey, are you going to the show tonight?" But I would be offended if someone said "Hey" meaning to get my attention. But I wouldn't let the person know I was offended because I think hey is becoming more acceptable so I just need to catch up with the times.

I have to agree with Mrs. Darcy. When I was brought up in the '50s, "Hey" was not a proper way to start a sentence. ALWAYS got the "Hay/hey is for horses...." from both DGM and DM.

 

[J3nn78]

I don't think so, reminds me of when my DH went through that awkward period of not really knowing how to address my parents. Like when we were engaged, but not married, and even for a while after we were married. So he would start a conversation with them, using "Hey"
My parents started signing cards to him as "Love, Hey and Hey" and still sign their cards that way, even though he no longer has that issue.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Agreed.



But you're not *calling her* "hey", it's just a way to casually start a sentence. You could say "Hey, Mary, the cards are restocked", and you're not calling her by the full name "Hey Mary", know what I mean?

Heck, go now! My mom moved across the country a week after I went to college, and it sucked JUST as much if not MORE as if she'd moved while I was in HS. At least I would have known the area when I came "home" from college! Go now!

That's exactly how I see it too. I don't know why it's a big deal. Has she gone loony tunes before? At first I thought maybe she was having a really bad day and was lashing out. Not that it's right or anything. But to pursue it says to me she's serious. So what you see, is what you get.

I'm interested to see how the meeting goes too.

The situation is beyond ridiculous.

 

[stitchlovestink]

Oh My! This person would probably have a coronary since around this area it is VERY common for people to refer to anyone else as 'Hon'. It's a Baltimore thing.... I hate it when people do it but don't find it offensive....more annoying I guess than offensive.

 

[merryweather20]

I just googled Toots and one of the definitions said it was akin to calling someone a "tart or a prostitiute."

Make sure you bring a really torrid and salacious definition to the meeting.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I think it's borderline offensive when you are addressing one person. I can't really explain why, I just know I would not like it if someone came to my desk and said "hey, ______." I always address individual people by their name. But I think the co-worker is making a huge unnecessary deal out of this when she could simply say she doesn't like it when you do that. Just as you can tell her you don't want to be called Toots. She probably considers toots more of an endearing term like hon or dear. Although, I am not saying that's appropriate in the workplace either.

 

[SookieStackhouse]

My mother always said hay is for horses

It hasn't been too long ago, I heard that for the first time. I was in Walmart and one employee said to another "Hey....", she replied "Hay is for horses..." It was pretty funny.

I am not offended by "hey".

 

[tiggersbombed2]

Does anyone else remember. "Hey is for horses, you're a *******, you get oats."? or was that just around here?

 

[Luv'sTink]

Sometimes as my husband walks through a room I will say to him "Hey".....when he looks at me I say.... "I love you" guess I better rethink insulting him like that!

 

[NC State]

Bless her heart, maybe she was having a bad day. Still it was better than not saying anything at all. I would have issues if no communcations was shared.

 

[dis-happy]

"Hey" is normal here in the south. I say it all the time now and I grew up in California.


But here is something else you can steal from southern lexicon that is outwardly polite but will drive her batty....from now on when you approach her, start off by calling her.....


Ma'am.

 

[jaminmd]

How do people like this manage to get through life if they get offended over the stupidest things?

She's a loon, OP.

 

[Mikes:)Mom]

I don't think so, reminds me of when my DH went through that awkward period of not really knowing how to address my parents. Like when we were engaged, but not married, and even for a while after we were married. So he would start a conversation with them, using "Hey"
My parents started signing cards to him as "Love, Hey and Hey" and still sign their cards that way, even though he no longer has that issue.

Poor guy!

I can understand using the word HEY has a name . I said hey I just wanted you to know.... It was a nice happy tone. I didn't care for this co worker, so at first I didn't even want to say anything, but I told myself you are a professional and you need to work with her. She gets upset a lot (but this takes the cake!) So when I talk to her I always try to be super nice.

I think shes the type of person who loves to fight. I don't. So I try every day to kill her with kindness. I think that drivers her nuts.

That's exactly how I see it too. I don't know why it's a big deal. Has she gone loony tunes before? At first I thought maybe she was having a really bad day and was lashing out. Not that it's right or anything. But to pursue it says to me she's serious. So what you see, is what you get.

I'm interested to see how the meeting goes too.

The situation is beyond ridiculous.

Shes very serious. Her boss said that she has complained many times about me using the word Hey. I had no idea.
I'll make sure to tell you all how it goes. I'm going to TRY to be on the defensive not offensive.

Oh My! This person would probably have a coronary since around this area it is VERY common for people to refer to anyone else as 'Hon'. It's a Baltimore thing.... I hate it when people do it but don't find it offensive....more annoying I guess than offensive.

Hon isn't used here. I think Hey is a lot, it's not just me.

I just googled Toots and one of the definitions said it was akin to calling someone a "tart or a prostitiute."

Make sure you bring a really torrid and salacious definition to the meeting.

That's a much better definition then I found! : A co-worker she was calling toots a lot asked her to stop. She said that her mom used to call her that, and she thinks it's cute. She didn't stop. She must have "like" me to call me Toots!

 

[SOnotLayuh]

I can't imagine getting offended or having a meeting over "hey". I think I would have just laughed if I were your boss.

 

[fairestoneofall]

i grew up in ohio and now live in SC. i've said, "hey" my entire life as a substitute for "hi."

what a ridiculous thing to complain to the point of calling a meeting.

 

[Kristina]

Hey! I actually live in Sweden, so I would not be offended because here hey means hello !

 

[DVC-Don]

So this lady at work flipped out on me because I went up to her and said (I can’t remember exactly how I said it but something like this) “Hey, I just put the last stack of register cards out for use”.....................

I think she just does not like you and is using this as an excuse to get you.