Is This Trip Really Special For Anyone?

[beebles]

I was wondering if this trip was sentimental/special to anyone out there. My mom just passed away in April and we were planning on going in May. Well, it did not happen for obvious reasons. She had lung cancer for 5 years, and I remember asking her "if she would be ok if we went in May." She encouraged us to go, but deep down knew the time was soon. I went with my judgement (we have not travelled for years because I was too afraid to go) and did not book it.
So this is something she wanted us to do with her grandchildren. It will be bittersweet, because I could not have went when she was here because I took care of her.
I so hope nothing goes wrong for us not to go. My mother-in-law just got diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer 2 weeks ago. We really need this trip, but when my mom said back in April that"she would miss us and the kids" with a sad look I could not do it. I thought I could not take one precious week away from her when she had limited amount of time.
This trip will be emotional for me, but glad that she wanted us to have fun. She even told me before she died to go in November instead....so I am following her advice

 

[mattsdragon]

Go.

My mother died of Ovarian Cancer several years ago, I know what a protracted illness can do not only to the person who is sick, but to the loved ones as well. Don't feel guilty. Your mother will be sitting next to you as you swirl around MadHatters Tea Party, and as you take the 5 story plunge down SplashMountain.

By not going, your mother-in-law isn't going to get any better, your children need to go, they need the chance to be children.

Whatever you do, don't feel guilt. Remember, this is something your mother wanted. You are fulfilling her wish, I'm sure she loved seeing you and your children happy, excited and giggling.

The mouse is the best medicine to anything. A dose of magic is just what the doctor ordered.

 

[luv2tvl]

I hope you go and have a wonderful time at with Disney. I totally agree that the Mouse is the best medicine!
I lost my dad about 5 years ago, and every time we are at Disney I think of him constantly. I get a little sad thinking of how much fun he would have had with us, but I know he's with us in spirit!

This trip for me has some sentimental value as well, though not even close in comparison to losing your mother. My husband and I are experiencing infertility and chose to pursue domestic adoption last September. We were at Disney last September (with hurricane Jeanne!) when we came home to find the packet in the mail accepting up to the adoptoin program. After months of paperwork and homestudys, we've now been officially waiting for about 9 months. This September marks a year that we've been on this road to finally having a family of our own. Each time I'm back at Disney I hope the NEXT will be with our new addition!

Have a wonderful time at Disney!

 

[almacdonald]

Sorry about your loss Beebles. I think that your trip will be a much needed spirit booster. It's always sad to lose a love one but your mom, or mother in law would not want you to miss out on a special time with your family. It's always nice to have something to look forward to and a Disney trip is a great way to keep spirits up in a hard time.

 

[BonnieA]

My father was my best disney buddy. As adults we went every couple years for the last 10 years of his life. The first time I went back alone after his death was hard. I stood outside Epcot and couldn't even enter for a long time. The memories just overwhelmed me. But I told myself that he will always be with me and he would want me to have the best time ever. Beebels: Your mom is with you all the time and she will be watching your kids have the time of their lives.

 

[ruzer28]

Yep, my father died June 29 and he loved Disney. I'm going with my sisters. I was going to cancel the trip because I thought it would be too sad, but I know that he would want us to go.

 

[Martha7]

I agree with everyone else. I think that we honor our loved ones by going on with our lives and doing the things they would have wanted us to enjoy. I hope one day my DSs will take their kids to WDW or DL, and remember all of the great things I taught them, the great dinners we shared as a family, and make new memories with their kids. Of course, it'll be even better if I'm there with them, but if I have to be content to watch them from heaven, I'll take it! You won't be gone long enough for it to be an issue with your MIL's illness, especially if there is other family around to support her while you're away.

 

[WinchesterVol]

My aunt died on my birthday a few years ago and she had me and my siblings in her will (along with several others). After a few years of being tied up with lawyers, etc., the money was released to me back in May. That is when I made my plans and reservations. We had enough money for this trip and a little left over to have fun with. This trip is dedicated to the memory of my Aunt Clarice!

 

[beebles]

thanks for all your kind reply's. It has been a very down, depressing year. I am a nurse so I hear depressing things all the time, but feel so burdened with all the pain and suffering that is going on-i think i have had enough and want to hear/experience some pleasant things!

My mother also left us a little bit of money, which is why it is even more special to go. This is the only plan I have for her money, and I know she would want it that way.

I miss her terribly and am waiting for the "happy" times and thoughts to resurface instead of the illness and suffering parts that are fresh in my head.

 

[ainmama2001]

This one is special for us because it's a four generation trip for my husband, my daughter, my husband's mom and my husband's grandmother. His brother and sister-in-law are coming too, and my parents will tag along. Great Grandma is 82 and has NEVER been to DW, so my four-year-old is really excited since Great Grandma is her favorite person in the whole world. What rush for a little kid...to be in Disney with all of the people that love you most in the world. I hope it's a memory she'll have forever.

 

[psiprez]

Prayers for your Mother, and Mother-in-Law!

Our last trip was with my Mom and Dad, and had been delayed for years because they were primary caregivers for my Grandmother. After her passing, I booked the trip using the money she left. Our time making new memories together as a family was key in helping us to close one chapter of our family history, and open a new one. I am sure my Mom would have lost her sanity otherwise!

Go on your trip, and enjoy. Write those new memories for your family, with the knowledge of just how precious they are. As hard as it is, try not to bother yourself with "what if we are gone when...", or you will lose YOUR sanity!

 

[eeyore45]

extra {hug} Beebles...

Yes this trip is very special. Last Sept mom thought she had a kidney stone, before getting on an airline with a temp of 101 she went to her doctor to get "something"... and ended up in the hospital for 3 months!!(and yes the doctors werent sure she was going to live - an infection, "2 people died of this here too"! Short version, my mom and I hadnt been speaking to each other!! (stubborn is a personality trait we both posess!!) She even wrote a 3 page "hate" letter to me!!! Well, with plenty of prayers and pixie dust, we've been walking on eggshells, and planning a trip to Disney with DD 8 ... for their birthdays!! (4 days apart!!)

DH has been dreading this too btw (we cant run away!!) Now our 2 teenage boys are "jealous" and wished they were going... (until I told them why they werent coming!! Homecoming, and a Girlfriends bday - so they did chose not to come, but they forgot that part!!)

STRESS!! Top that I havent worked in 3 months, dh was "downsized" and we just dont have any money (or credit) to spare!! (Thankfully before we lost it all I had paid off DIsney in APRIL!! Yea free dining!!)

GUILT!!! and yet, I breath in and breath out, and I am living for the "moment"!!

 

[Laura Bell]

Many years ago (Sept 1985) my mother passed away, also from lung cancer. We had been planning to go the following February on what would have been my brother's first trip. Mind you, we were all adults at the time.

Well, my brother and I went anyway, and it was a wonderful tribute to my mother's memory. My mother loved WDW and I made sure that I showed my brother all of our mother's favorite things at the world. Many tears were shed that week, but we will never forget that trip, no matter how many years pass.

Go, and relive all your memories of your mother at WDW and you and your family will have a trip you will always remember.

God bless you-
See you in the World-

Laura B

 

[eeyore45]

Also, you may want to commerate her spirit... you could buy a balloon, write messages of love to your mom, and then release the balloon!!

 

[WinchesterVol]

I miss her terribly and am waiting for the "happy" times and thoughts to resurface instead of the illness and suffering parts that are fresh in my head.

Just remember all of the good times you shared when she wasn't sick. I didn't mention that my mom passed away 8 years ago from cancer. She fought a hard 3 months. I am blessed to know that she did not suffer too long, even if those 3 months were hard at times, it could have been worse. Time will ease your pain. I'm not saying that there won't be times when things seem to fall apart, they will. Just remember the good. Be there for your mother-in-law and for your family. It will be hard on them as it will be on you. Your family is in our prayers!

 

[beebles]

Thank you for your kind words and prayers

 

[dis4fun]

I lost my Mother on May 21st of this year. It was supposed to have been the first day of our WDW trip. When my Mother went into the hospital a couple weeks before and we saw that it was the end, I called and postponed our trip until July. We made the trip in July and our best friends surprised us and joined us there, which helped a lot. It was a wonderful time but it was bitter-sweet. It was always hard to leave my Mother to go on vacation, as her health was bad for years. We take our 35 ft. camper to Disney's Ft. Wilderness Campground every year. She had this cute little saying that she would always say when we were going camping and it was one of the last things she said to me in the hospital: "leave them alone and they'll come home, dragging they're trailer behind them!". Ofcourse, I was by her side when she took her last breath. I couldn't help but hear her words as we were on our way back from WDW in July.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

This is a special trip for us for many reasons:

We were married in WDW last year, so this is our anniversary trip.

After 5 yrs of being told we would not be able to have a baby, we adopted our DD and are going to celebrate our FINALIZATION!!! Woo-hoo!

So it is DD first Trip to the WORLD!!

And finally we are going to celebrate our pregnancy! (go figure huh?!)

 

[Camping Griswalds]

We went in August of 2003. We had lost a 21 week pregnancy in Aug of 2002. I pretty much had a break down after that emotionally. well about 4 months before the one year anniversary we decided to take a trip to WDW. The planning helped distract me some, and on the actual one night anniversary of his death, my husband and I got sitters for older brothers and did MK evening hours (you had to pay then) Anyway we just sat in front of the castle with it changing colors and talked about our son and cried a little. we wanted to release a balloon with a glow stick, but they weren't selling balloons that night. Even now when we go back i think of the beauty and peace of that night and know I could not have had that anywhere else.

So go and remember all of the good and precious moments. It will make Disney even more special to your heart. You will not regret it and speaking from experience, you will not get too sad, only nostalgic.

 

[kmebee]

This trip, I think, will be a bag of mixed emotions. One of my best friends & I are celebrating our college graduation (a year late - or many years if you look at our ages). My niece will be celebrating her 29th (the real one) bday.
Two years ago, I went to WDW with my DSis and DBIL. He had requested to go to Disney "one last time". I think he knew then that he wasn't well and had some things he wanted to do. We had a great time. It was a little stressful at times for DSis but she got through it (like the time she "grounded" him to the resort for running over her foot with the ECV). He was diagnosed about a year later with Advanced Pancreatic Cancer (the silent killer as they call it). His Dr. gave him some options but he chose to not treat it since it wouldn't really have done any good anyway. They gave him 2-3 weeks, he lived 4 months. He told DSis that if he made it through, they were all going on vacation this fall. Just before he passed away in April he told DSIs and Dniece to go on vacation and have a good time, that they deserved it for taking such good care of him. And so they are. They are returning to the place he loved so well. I'm sure we'll have some laughs at some great memories and maybe even a few tears. We already know that one creme brulee and one strawberry daiquiri are on the list of "must do's".
So, Beebles, go and enjoy yourself! She'll be there with you in spirit and maybe you too can find a way to celebrate her during your visit.
...O'hana means family...and no one gets left behind...