Is this normal when they first start school?

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Anyone have any ideas on what could be going on with my kids?

They have never really been the "best" behaved kids in the world...I mean come on...They're 3 and there's 2 of them. But ever since they started school they have been MONSTERS

I mean DOWN RIGHT defiant. Not listening...and the FITS! OMG the FITS!!!

Landon is getting so bad with them that he has been hitting and screaming. When he gets like that I just put him in his room, but he will SCREAM and smash things for a LONG TIME.

I thought maybe it was because they were overtired when they got home, but even on the weekend when they get lots of rest they are like this. Landon is the worst...any ideas or just normal behavior?

 

[Mermaid02]

Is it possible he's seeing some of this behavior at school?

Maybe he's just getting used to the change in routine and it's hard for him.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Is it possible he's seeing some of this behavior at school?

Maybe he's just getting used to the change in routine and it's hard for him.

That's what my MIL suggested, that maybe they were picking up bad habits form other kids at school...But their teacher says how good they are...

I just don't know what to do with them anymore. It's getting to the point where he is spending a TON of time in his room. I want him to have that alone time, but I also want to spend time with him.

(I keep saying HIM because Jade, my daughter isn't as bad with the fits as he is...she gets in trouble, does her time and is over it)

 

[diznygirl]

This is what happened to my youngest when she started school It's so hard because at that age they don't want to take a nap even though they really need it. I would just let my daughter crash on the couch after school watching TV and try to get her into bed as early as possible.

Good luck!

 

[abdmom]

Sometimes when kids enter a new childcare situation, away from Mom and Dad the first time, they can act out with the parents. The situation is so new, that they're afraid to express their wants with the new caregiver and once Mom/Dad picks them up, the stress is gone and they can express themselves again. Sometimes it leads to tantrums.

My ds5 just started at a new school full time this week. Last year he had been at half day preschool, where he had lunch, and then was walked across the street to half day kindergarten. He did fine there. This week, he has started French immersion at a new school. He loves it. But yesterday, the reports were that at afterschool, he was crying for me. When I picked him up, he cried all evening for his new teacher. So, tiredness can come into play too.

 

[maciec]

I would say that it's normal. But, I don't think that it will last long. I think that once they really get into school and really enjoying themselves that they will get themselves together.

hate to break it to you, but at 7 & 10 I am dealing with the same issues with my kids. My once sweet angel little boy who is now 7 has turned into a monster! He has been so bad lately. My 10yoa dd is so disrespectful I am just utterly embarrassed! She is going to be spending a lot of time grounded if she doesn't get her act together.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

It sounds like he is having anxiety issues due to change. You love him unconditionally so he is taking out his frustrations at home.

My 16 year old is horrible to live with the first week of school. When he became more comfortable with his teachers/classess he calmed down. Now everything is back to normal.

 

[golfgal]

It could just be that they are 3. Three is a REALLY bad age.

 

[Chelley00]

Terrible 2's have nothing on the Torturous 3's.


My 5 year old started kindergarten this year. He's been in preschool since he was 2, but going 5 days a week instead of just 2 has worn him out. Even on the weekends he's a pill, and I'm sure it's just because he's been overstimulated and overtired through the week.

We've now had to implement "rest time" after school. Even if he doesn't sleep, he has to lie quietly and read a book or something. It seems to "destress?" him and then our evening goes a little smoother.

 

[disneyfans95]

More the age then anything I would say.

 

[We_love_WDW]

When you sit him in a time out you could also take away something and he can get it back the next day if he behaves. Or try a rewards chart- if he has no fits and does not hit he can get a sticker for the day after he earns a set number of stickers you can reward him with a small toy, candy or one on one time with you somewhere - maybe chuckie cheese

 

[mrsv98]

Kids have so much of what child development experts call "ego strengths". These are skills that help kids cope in day to day life. It sounds like your son is using up his reservoir at school and coming home with an empty tank. This is totally normal. As he settles into school, he will be able to transition better but I do agree with the PPs that 3 is a very difficult age, I thought aliens had abducted my sweet DD and left me with a monster that year!

As for what to do, I would stop sending him to his room and use a neutral naughty spot instead. You want him in one place where he can't further spiral out of control as he does in his room. Follow the Super Nanny technique, get down to his level, no yelling and in a low voice tell him his behavior is unacceptable and he has to go to the naughty spot for 3 min. Be consistent.

I would also look for clues in terms of what he needs from you. Do you ask him about his day when you pick him up? DD used to get wound up if I asked her about school right away. I found that just having music on in the car for a bit let her unwind and then later we talked about school.

This is a hard age because they are maturing in so many ways and yet are still so very young. Hang in there, it will get better. Then you can deal with the tween years like me!

 

[Northstar]

My DD was like this both when she began preschool at 3 and primary (our kindergarten) at 5. I think it was stress. After holding her emotions in and acting like a big girl at school, she needed to let out the beast within her!
Like a PP said, they know it's safe to do that with Mom because Mom will love you no matter what. That's hard on Mom, but this too shall pass!

 

[We_Love_Disney]

If the teacher says they are behaving well at school, then I tend to think it is a transitional problem for them. As PPs have said, its hard being good all day, being a big kid and using best behavior. Home is a safe zone.

Hug them and remind them that each and every day you will be there for them. Transitions are difficult for all of us, but more so for three year old, they lack the verbal skills to let us know.

 

[Minnie_me]

It's perfectly normal. I've been an Early Childhood Educator for over 20 years, and I always warn my parents about this phenomenon. If the teachers are telling you that they're behaving in class, then my guess is that they're holding it together all day long, being good for teacher, and then they have to let it out at home!

Lucky you! LOL! It does usually wane after a few weeks.

 

[Christine]

I'm agreeing with the transitional problem and stress.

My son was in daycare/preschool since he was an infant. Let me tell you, once they hit the 2 year old room, the center is VERY, VERY busy. There are activity stations, outdoor play, games, stimulation from the other kids that make it a very busy day for little ones. My son was used to it as that is all he knew. When I put him in a home daycare situation that was much less active, he didn't know what to do with himself and was bored to tears. The daycare provider didn't know how to handle him because they were used to lots and lots of quiet time. I ended up putting my son back at a preschool where he was fine.

If you kids are 3 and all they've known is their daily routine in their home, I can guarantee you that this is a HUGE change for them. They are probably exhausted but in an "overstimulated" kind of way. At that age, many don't know how to cope or let off steam other than to go ballistic. I doubt that this is a learned behavior because most preschools/daycare do not tolerate tantrums/meltdowns etc for any length of time.

I'm betting the situation will work itself out as they get used to their new routine.

 

[marcyinPA]

It sounds like he is having anxiety issues due to change. You love him unconditionally so he is taking out his frustrations at home.

My 16 year old is horrible to live with the first week of school. When he became more comfortable with his teachers/classess he calmed down. Now everything is back to normal.

OH YES! THIS!!

My DS15 was the same way the first week of school! He was MISERABLE! This past week (second week) was MUCH better.

I teach 2 year olds, and I hear this a lot from the parents. Especially when I tell them what a good day their child had in preschool. I definitely think that they take their frustrations and anxiety out on their parents, at home, because you are their constant, safe place, and they know when and where to let loose.

I'm not saying that it's easy, but just give appropriate consequences for their destructive actions at home, and remain consistent. It should get better as they get used to the changes going on around them!

 

[mickeyboat]

I agree with everyone else, but also wanted to add that when my kids came home from school at that age, they were starving and thirsty. I started brining milk and apple juice with me when I picked them up so they could drink it in the car. It seemed to help.