Is this "bullying"?

[Sam81]

So every year we have a formal get together for the senior members of the football team. We have had the same head coach for over twenty years and he said he inherited this tradition, so it goes back pretty far.

Essentially, all the coaches, seniors and their families get together for a dinner. A local restaurant typically donates all the food (this year it’s my restaurant) and parents pay anywhere from $10-20, which is then given as a scholarship for a departing senior. We also have a pinning ceremony where a parent pins their senior (with in our case a ’13). Most players typically wear their pin on their letterman jackets.

The “issue” is that traditionally the freshman players or rookies prep, serve and clean-up the dinner. They are responsible for setting the tables, taking the food out of the containers and working the buffet line. During the night the freshman class also performs the school fight song. And after everything is over they are responsible for the clean-up.

Well one parent has decided that her son scooping pasta in a buffet line creates and I quote “a social class system, where one player is being told they are not equal enough to dine with another…” Furthermore, the singing of the fight song is “public humiliation” and creates undue stress on her son.

Now this isn’t a mandatory event, and rather than just keep her son out of it, she went to the school board. And guess what – she won! That’s right, turns out this somehow falls under “bullying” and the school can no longer officially support it. So what do you think?

 

[mjkacmom]

I think people are crazy. Hope he doesn't even plan to pledge a fraternity in college.

 

[cabanafrau]

Not bullying per what you've written here.

 

[DopeyDame]

I think it sounds like a wonderful evening and awesome tradition. And gives the freshman a sense of belonging and something to look forward to in 4 years. I'm really sorry one idiot ruined if for all of you.

ETA: Assuming what you wrote is the extent of it, shame on your school board for backing down to this mom!

 

[pat fan]

That is the stupidest thing I have heard of. Lately. The PC police have run amuck, again.

 

[cluvsdisney]

OMG! She lets her son volunteer to perform a service and she twisted it into bullying and convinced the school to agree with her. People amaze me and not in a good way.

 

[doris1976]

I personally think it is BS. They can not make everybody be like everybody else and that is what they are not able to comprehend to see. Public officials have become so weak and intimidated that at the drop of a hat they will change something if one person complains out of fear of being sued. I would rather have my tax money spent on defending something worthwhile then on giving everybody a trophy and saying we are all equal. We are not equal in our abilities or the things we can do. So sick of the dumbing down in America just to accommodate people that do not try, are not able to do something, or just to try and please everybody.

 

[vesta]

I opened this thread thinking yes I'm sure it is...then I read it and I thought the woman is crazy. Is there anyway the parents can still can put on the dinner without the coaches present. Then each parent of a senior present their child with the pin. That why you don't lose the tradition and the coaches don't get in trouble. It sounds like a great tradition I'd hate to lose based on one over zealous parent.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So, are you saying that the freshman class can no longer set up, serve and clean and they get to eat with the group?

Or you can no longer hold this event with your traditional rules?

While I DO think the parent is nutty & the school board is spineless & common sense has flown the coop, in the end it won't matter if the tradition changes and includes the freshman class to dine with the group.

I would just suck it up and replan. Get board approval.

Make the song optional & ANY member can participate in singing the fight song.

Hopefully that will continue your traditional dinner.

I can say that after this incident, a lot of bullying happening to this kid. I am sure he is going to pay a price for his mother's shenanigans.

 

[Sam81]

That’s what we were thinking as well. It’s a night for the seniors and their parents. Both of my sons have been on the freshman side and although the clean-up isn’t the most exciting thing, they otherwise had a fun night.

And this event by no means mandatory but typically all the freshman players attend. From what I have heard, the mom argued that this is emotional bullying and creating social distress. If her son did not partake in the event he would be viewed differently by his peers and by serving food it creates a perceived imbalance of power.

The event was always held in the school cafeteria and we were allowed to use their prep area. I’m thinking of just volunteering my restaurant, but we can’t really fit that many people.

 

[okeydokey]

I would write a letter to your local paper about the cancellation. Get some press involved, talk about it on facebook etc. There is nothing wrong with the tradition, especially as it is not mandatory. Jeesh.

 

[tar heel]

It's team building, and that parent is a lunatic. The seniors have paid their dues and they get the perks. Calling that "bullying" diminishes true bullying.

 

[Princess Dolly]

No! No! No!

I'm sorry your tradition is being ruined by someone who has no clue what is really bullying and a cowardly administrator. It actually sounds like fun and a good way for the freshman and rookies to get to know each other.

 

[DizBelle]

If she thought that was bullying, just wait until the school year starts and the football team learns that their 20+ year tradition had to be stopped because of her kid.

 

[mickeyboat]

It's team building, and that parent is a lunatic. The seniors have paid their dues and they get the perks. Calling that "bullying" diminishes true bullying.

Exactly.

 

[jrmasm]

It's team building, and that parent is a lunatic. The seniors have paid their dues and they get the perks. Calling that "bullying" diminishes true bullying.

It still amazes me how sensitive people can be. What a loon!!

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

That is the stupidest thing I have heard of. Lately. The PC police have run amuck, again.

Yeap

It's team building, and that parent is a lunatic. The seniors have paid their dues and they get the perks. Calling that "bullying" diminishes true bullying.

Agreed

If she thought that was bullying, just wait until the school year starts and the football team learns that their 20+ year tradition had to be stopped because of her kid.

Certainly something to think about.

 

[Mkrop]

That’s what we were thinking as well. It’s a night for the seniors and their parents. Both of my sons have been on the freshman side and although the clean-up isn’t the most exciting thing, they otherwise had a fun night.

And this event by no means mandatory but typically all the freshman players attend. From what I have heard, the mom argued that this is emotional bullying and creating social distress. If her son did not partake in the event he would be viewed differently by his peers and by serving food it creates a perceived imbalance of power. The event was always held in the school cafeteria and we were allowed to use their prep area. I’m thinking of just volunteering my restaurant, but we can’t really fit that many people.

And now he will be viewed differently bc his mom got rid of a long standing tradition!

This is ridiuclous, the seniors "earned" this, around here the youngest group on the football team are the ones who carry the equipment, clean up the field after practice etc.

We even have a service project where the players bus tables at the local firehouse for a Pancake Breakfast as part of a service project since the firehouse lets us use their field for free.


Can you contact a local firehall or VFW hall etc and ask if their rental space might be available?

 

[wendy46001]

If she thought that was bullying, just wait until the school year starts and the football team learns that their 20+ year tradition had to be stopped because of her kid.

^This

so Jr. is seen as lower and in social distress because he serves and cleans up? Gee, hope he doesn’t want a high school/college job.

Guess the only solution is to truly make it a senior night and uninvited all the underclassman.

 

[ilovefh]

Is it bullying in my opinion? No. Is it why I no longer coach? Yes!

Parents din't realize two things here...

1. Her son is only a freshman and presumably plans to play football through high school. She has now labeled herself as "that" parent. Coaches are people and they'll remember the parents who cause trouble.

2. Since this ends a 20+ year tradition that I assume the kids enjoy when other players find out it was this kid who was feeling "emotionally bullied" they'll pick on him.

A little humility and "working your way up the ranks" is not a bad thing!!