Is this a lesson my DD5 should learn?

[DisneyLovingMama]

Yesterday, DD 5 and a half, came home and was panicked because she couldn't find a classmate's birthday invitation in her backpack. Figuring the classmate handed the invite out yesterday, I told DD to look in her cubby and not worry about. Well, I found out from another mom this afternoon that the invites were handed out two weeks ago, and the party is tomorrow.

What should I do? Part of me just wants to write a note to the Mom tomorrow, apologizing for not RSVPing, and explaining DD lost the invite. This would result is no chance of DD going to the party. Thus, the "lesson" for DD - take care of your papers from school and make sure Mommy sees them.

DD wants me to call her and apologize, hoping that she could still go. I feel awkward doing this, as the Mom probably had to have her "numbers" in earlier this week and don't want her to feel obligated to reinvite DD.

To make matters more complicated, this was the classmate whose hair DD cut earlier this year. We haven't been on the best of terms since then. DD swears she got the invite and put it in her folder (I check it every night), and the mom I talked to today says that ALL the kids in the class were invited.

DD is crying hysterically over this...

What would you do?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

5 is too young for learning this lesson. Invitations should be sent to your house. I blame the parent.

 

[RUDisney]

I'd call the Mom and explain that DD didn't bring the invitation home and that she will not be coming to the party.

Your DD should think about how she feels now so she will be more responsible about invitations next time she's invited somewhere.

 

[MoniqueU]

She's 5. I would call and see if there is anyway she can still go.

 

[urglewurgle]

she's too young to be fully responsable for all that kind of thing imo...

and as for the party, i think, if you get her watching her fave DVD will she remember about the party?!?

i dunno... it could be that she wasn't invited... in which case, if you speak to the mother... well, it'd be embarrassing... i dunno.... good luck!

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

i dunno... it could be that she wasn't invited... in which case, if you speak to the mother... well, it'd be embarrassing... i dunno.... good luck!

That's kind of what I was afraid of. The other Mom I talked to is supposed to call me with the Birthday Girls Mom's number (we don't have a school directory). So, if she doesn't call, then I'm guessing it's because DD wasn't really invited.

 

[urglewurgle]

hmm... i think this will all be more scarring for you than her!

 

[Sleepy]

5 is too young for learning this lesson. Invitations should be sent to your house. I blame the parent.

Unfortunately, we live in a time when schools do not give out that kind of information. How are you going to mail an invitation without an address?

 

[jbdreamer]

She's only 5. I think you should let your daughter go.

And I don't think it is going to overwhelm the mother to have an extra 5 year old at the party - it's not a wedding where everything is accounted for. Just call and explained that you just found out about the party and ask if it is still possible for your DD to go.

 

[Hillbeans]

if It means anything to you, I invited all 11 kids in my DS 5's class to his birthday party this coming sunday. I can't honestly tell you the names of the kids who didn't RSVP and i'm only worrying myself about those who called in as far as #'s are concerned. It doesn't bother me in the least, and i'm sure your classmates mom feels the same way.

 

[kristen821]

How mad was this mother about your dd cutting the birthday girls hair? Would she posssibly be mad enough not to invite your dd? (which would be a horrible thing for her to do)

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would call and explain about the invitation and see what happens. Being this is the kid whose hair she cut, it might look bad if she did not show or call.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

The Mom has basically ignored me since then. Never really go into. I wrote her a note, then it was about 3 weeks until I saw her face-to-face. I apologized again. She didn't laugh it off, but wasn't shouting about it. Just said she was surprised it was my DD - she sould have expected it from the class bully. Since then, she's barely acknowledged me in the few times I've seen here (she drops off and picks up much earlier than me).

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Well, the birthday girl isn't listed and the other Mom hasn't called me, so I might be out of luck. I will write a note tonight.

Not that it matters, but this girl never came to DD's b-day party in June (before the hair incident), so they were never the best of friends.

 

[rt2dz]

Your DD is too youngto learn that lesson, but since the mother never followed up on the missing RSVP and you can't contact her in time, do something extra special with your dd that day. /if other kids are talking about it at school, it will hurt her all over again.

 

[r3ngels]

I'd call the Mom and explain that DD didn't bring the invitation home and that she will not be coming to the party.

Your DD should think about how she feels now so she will be more responsible about invitations next time she's invited somewhere.

This seems really harsh for a 5 year old... She is ONLY 5 since when are 5 yo responsible.

Our school doesn't allow invits to get handed out in school.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

I guess I don't think it's unreasonable for a child in Kindergarten to remember to bring home an invitation. She brings home her homework every night. That's why part of me thinks she may not have been invited - she usually VERY responsible.

 

[Jennasis]

Well I am in the camp that thinks your daughter may have been snubbed. It sounds like she wasn't invited. I'd just let it go at this point. I agree with the poster who suggested doing something extra special with your daughter that day. Tell her she couldn't go to the party anyway that day since you already had big plans for the day (take her to lunch/amovie/a manicure/bowling/etc). I'm sorry you've got to clean up the mess.

As for the original question...Yes a 5 year old can be responsible enough. If she can remember to bring homework home, she can remember to bring home a party invitation. HArkening back to when I was 5, when I was given invites to a classmates party I couldn't get them home to mom fast enough to RSVP! Which is why I think she was snubbed. She probably THINKS she lost it but was never given one. Personally I hope that's not the case asit is childish and just plain stinks of rudeness (to invite all but one kid).

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Unfortunately, I'm now in full agreement - I think she was snubbed. She's forgotten it at this point, but the party is right after school tomorrow, so I'm sure she'll be bumming tomorrow. I was able to make an appointment at Club Libby Lu for tomorrow at 7:00, so we'll do that. She's going to love it. I'm just trying to track down my sitter for DS. That way, she and I can have some Mom/Daughter time.

Thanks for the great advice!

 

[punkin]

That's just rude. If they weren't going to invite all the children, they should not have given out the invitations in school.