Is there such thing as free counseling for minors?

[LisaR]

DD has a friend that is 16. He wants to have a sex change and has wanted to have this done for years. He is also gay. His parents are not very understanding. This is an ongoing problem. He has tried talking to them until he is blue in the face. He has so many issues including anxiety and depression. His parents have taken the approach of burying their heads in the sand and hoping it goes away or resolves itself. I am very concerned about this boy. I think he will turn to things like drinking, drugs and cutting to numb his pain. He has cut in the past but isn't doing it now. He has had some alcoholic drinks and really likes the way it calms him down. This kid is a train wreck. He has begged his parents to find him a counselor. My DD and I found two people in our area that deal with transgender issues and we have passed along their phone numbers. His parents keep saying they will take him next month. They never do. Is there some type of free services that I could put him in touch with? Since he is a minor, would he need a parents permission? Any suggestions? I do not know his parents well at all and I am not willing to talk to them on his behalf. They are not the approachable type. This kid needs help before he does something stupid. I am so angry that his parents don't see this.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Do you have a school counselor that could help direct you? There must be something available for him.

 

[DisneyFirefly]

http://www.glnh.org/talkline/index.html

It's a free hotline, but it would give him someone to talk to without his parents taking him to a proper counselor. I wish him the best of luck. Being different as a kid is never easy.

 

[LisaR]

Do you have a school counselor that could help direct you? There must be something available for him.

He is homeschooled.

http://www.glnh.org/talkline/index.html

It's a free hotline, but it would give him someone to talk to without his parents taking him to a proper counselor. I wish him the best of luck. Being different as a kid is never easy.

This looks great! I will have my DD give him the number tomorrow. It is a start in the right direction and might help him when he is feeling really down. Thanks!!

 

[barkley]

in some states there are services available through medicaid called "minor consent". it permits minors with certain medical (including counseling) issues that their parents are unwilling to fund/allow a minor to utilize insurance to cover (or minors are fearful of revealing to a parent in order to access funds/insurance).

a call to social/health services could reveal if any programs were available in your state.

 

[barkley]

He is homeschooled.



This looks great! I will have my DD give him the number tomorrow. It is a start in the right direction and might help him when he is feeling really down. Thanks!!

homeschooled minors in most states must, by law, still be afforded access to any and all counseling services available to public school students (just as those of us who opt to enroll our students in private schools are afforded).

 

[autumnpalm]

I'm not sure about the US but in Canada I know there are many free counseling clinics and help lines available. Often there are also group therapy sessions through hospitals, community centers, schools (even if he is not a student, guidance counselors can be very knowledgeable about resources) and other social service institutions.

Additionally, a lot of therapists and counselors will work on a sliding scale with their patients who legitimately cannot afford the full fee.

I think disclosure law vary between countries and states, but anyone you contact should be able to provide you with their confidentiality information.

I hope this helps even a little! Your DD's friend is so lucky to have you.

 

[LisaR]

in some states there are services available through medicaid called "minor consent". it permits minors with certain medical (including counseling) issues that their parents are unwilling to fund/allow a minor to utilize insurance to cover (or minors are fearful of revealing to a parent in order to access funds/insurance).

a call to social/health services could reveal if any programs were available in your state.

Thanks! If it is through Medicaid, would he have to have it? I know they have great insurance so that isn't the issue.

homeschooled minors in most states must, by law, still be afforded access to any and all counseling services available to public school students (just as those of us who opt to enroll our students in private schools are afforded).

True but it takes FOREVER to get services here. Plus, I highly doubt a school counselor would be able to handle all of his issues.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I would do something like call the local chapter of PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and ask them if they can point you towards support groups or counseling the in the area.

While it is NOT the kind of counseling you are asking about, I think even a support group of other GLBT teens could probably help this young man deal with his stress and better understand his feelings and learn to cope with his parents' reaction (he will likely, sadly, learn he is not alone in having parents are not very accepting).

You may also call some gay friendly churches and ask the pastors/ministers if they are aware of someone/somewhere which could help. A local Unitarian Universalist church would be a good place to try. I am sure there are many others as well--that is just what I am familiar with.

 

[spacemermaid]

First, I would like to say: thank you for trying to help this child!

I'm also going to second the idea to contact your local chapter of PFLAG; they should be able to help find a counsellor who deals with trans issues. Also, if there's a local GYA group, that'd be a great place to meet other teens who are going through some of the same stuff

I'd also like to recommend a GREAT book, called "Hello Cruel World", by Kate Bornstein...it deals with gender identity issues and depression in teenagers, all from the perspective of a transperson. Even though the subject matter is "heavy", she manages to inject quite a bit of humor into the whole thing; I could have really used this book as a teen & can't recommend it highly enough. Here's a link to the Amazon page for the book: http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Cruel-W...=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277973736&sr=1-4

Hope this helps; good luck to you & your young friend!

 

[Green Tea]

Medical insurance should cover the counseling. Can he afford to pay the specialist copay per session?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I know he is not in college, but it may be worth investigating this option:

When I went to UF, they had a student counseling center. It was free to students and afforded the opportunity to get counseling. It was from students rather than licensed therapists, but it was students going for their masters or doctorates and they were doing their clinical hours or whatever you call it. While they don't have years of experience, they were overseen by those who had and would review notes with them.

I'm not sure if it is even possible that he could find something like that. Nit is probably a long shot since he isn't a college student---but wanted to toss it out as a remote possibilty.

It is very sad that his parents are refusing to help
them. Their son is troubled and needs help to process his issues so that he can at least make it to adulthood where he can make his own decisions.

Good for you for trying to find a way to get him help.

Another resource---If you can find support groups for gay/transgender, they may prove to be a valuable source of resources that you may haven't even thought of.

Would you consider the boy "sheltered"? I mean---do his parents let him go anywhere unchaperoned? Once you find something---he is going to need to be able to access it.

 

[kamik86]

Medical insurance should cover the counseling. Can he afford to pay the specialist copay per session?

Yes but if his parents don't want him going they will find out this way as it will show up on insurance statements.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

DD has a friend that is 16. He wants to have a sex change and has wanted to have this done for years. He is also gay. His parents are not very understanding. This is an ongoing problem. He has tried talking to them until he is blue in the face. He has so many issues including anxiety and depression. His parents have taken the approach of burying their heads in the sand and hoping it goes away or resolves itself. I am very concerned about this boy. I think he will turn to things like drinking, drugs and cutting to numb his pain. He has cut in the past but isn't doing it now. He has had some alcoholic drinks and really likes the way it calms him down. This kid is a train wreck. He has begged his parents to find him a counselor. My DD and I found two people in our area that deal with transgender issues and we have passed along their phone numbers. His parents keep saying they will take him next month. They never do. Is there some type of free services that I could put him in touch with? Since he is a minor, would he need a parents permission? Any suggestions? I do not know his parents well at all and I am not willing to talk to them on his behalf. They are not the approachable type. This kid needs help before he does something stupid. I am so angry that his parents don't see this.

I would start with teen groups as PP mentioned. Does he have a job? Is he allowed to have a job?

I would sit him down and explain the obvious to him. If he is allowed to get a job he could work and start saving money so he can leave his parents home once he is 18.

My nephew left with the clothes on his back just shy of his 18th birthday. He was also homeschooled and gay. He was not allowed to work or have a life. (Basically he was kicked out.)

He was taken in by some friends and then once he figured out what he wanted to do he left for NYC. He is now 23, working full time and going to college.

As far as getting counseling covered by insurance, that is tricky. With our insurance you have to get preapproval first.

Does he have a medical doctor? Maybe he can get help that way?

Anyway, if he wants to get help he really has to get real about helping himself and have a plan. Good Luck.

 

[Keli]

Does the child have medicaid or some form of it, or private insurance? Medicaid will usually pay 100% with no copay. Private insurance varies wildly but usually involves a deductible and copays which can be significant.
But with either situation parental consent is required in KY for a minor to receive counseling.
It sounds like this child really needs help, it would appear to me that he is on a path of a self destructive lifestyle as an adult. I feel very badly for him and I believe that he would benefit greatly from a good therapist who will teach him skills to not only cope with his life now but be successful in his future.

 

[barkley]

Thanks! If it is through Medicaid, would he have to have it? I know they have great insurance so that isn't the issue.



True but it takes FOREVER to get services here. Plus, I highly doubt a school counselor would be able to handle all of his issues.

it's been years since i supervised a medicaid unit, but the way that state ran the program (which could be gone with the budget cuts by now) was that a minor in certain "sensitive" situations could make their own application for services that did'nt take the parent's income/resources/insurance into consideration.


someone suggested pflag and that might be a great resource of what kind of programs are available in your area. they tend to know what is available through both government and privatly sponsored programs.

the other way for him to find out what programs are out there is if he contacts the counselors you've located-he can just explain the situation to their reception staff and find out what the laws are in your region for a teen accessing counseling services with private insurance (see if he can self refer).


as for a public school counselor-they might not have the training to help with the issue, but they likely have resources they could provide a listing for.

 

[Green Tea]

Yes but if his parents don't want him going they will find out this way as it will show up on insurance statements.

Is that the worst thing in the world?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Is that the worst thing in the world?

Could be if they would then prevent him form returning to therapy or punish him for seeking help. Depends on how his parents are.

 

[LisaR]

Thanks for the info and ideas. I made some phone calls today and it doesn't look our county has anything. Honestly, the people I spoke to were not very nice or helpful. We live in a very conservative Christian town and I am guessing this isn't something that they wanted to treat. Maybe it is just me but that is the vibe I got.

I think the public school option is out. I am assuming they wouldn't talk to me since I am not even related. I would never be able to get this boy to set foot in the school system. He was teased horribly when he attended school and the school did very little to help him. I doubt he wants to seek out their help.

My DD did find out that he went to one PFLAC meeting with his mom. He liked the meeting because he enjoyed seeing that there were others like him but he didn't find it helped with any of his problems. He ended up meeting someone there that is less than stellar that he refers to as his mentor. The "mentor" is battling alcoholism.

He can not go to a counselor using his parents insurance without their permission. He already contacted a counselor and that is what they told him.

He does not have a job but his plan is to move to NYC when he turns 18 in 1.5 years. Not sure how he is going to afford that unless mommy and daddy foot the bill. That is how they show their love. They won't get him help for his problems but they will buy him absolutely anything he wants.

I am very frustrated by this because he is unloading on my DD with all of his problems. While I am glad my DD is such a great friend, she can't keep trying to fix this for him. His life is starting to spiral and I do not want her to get caught in a situation that is harmful to her. She is struggling because she really likes him and wants to help but she recognizes that this is above what she is capable of.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

He does not have a job but his plan is to move to NYC when he turns 18 in 1.5 years. Not sure how he is going to afford that unless mommy and daddy foot the bill. That is how they show their love. They won't get him help for his problems but they will buy him absolutely anything he wants.

My nephew did it with the clothes on his back walking out the door. It is doable. All hope is not lost.

My nephew had nothing bought for him and was under constant monitoring. Plus his stepdad was abusive to him.

Your dd cannot fix anything for him. He needs to fix it himself. All she can do is provide phone numbers. He has to do the rest.