Is there such thing as a "Satanic" hairstyle?

[Caradana]

To me, that hair, plus the dress, plus the makeup, plus the black trench coat (visions of Columbine there), plus the weight issue - the whole look this kid was putting forward to the world, and the fact that he was doing it aggressively despite teasing, almost inviting teasing, he was so clearly trying to say "[no expletives allowed on the DIS board] you" to the people around him - it suggests someone who is deeply, deeply unhappy.

This is not always the case, but as that kid's teacher, I'd be taking a second, third, fourth look at him and trying to figure out what help/resources I could find

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

That's like saying he was a Goth and being a Goth made it a factor, though. Not all Goths are Nazis and want to kill people, Caradana.

TOV

 

[Caradana]

Not all Goths are Nazis and want to kill people, Caradana.

Well obviously not, and thanks be to god for that, TOV.

I remember that you used to dress Goth, and take pleasure in it, something about goth culture really appealed to you. I'm genuinely curious: what was it?

In thinking about yourself, do you were trying to express something to the world with that? I'll hazard some guesses. Rejection of the status quo? Individuality? Not caring about what a certain subset of people thought? You thought you looked "pretty", "edgy", and "aggressive"? Were you trying to attract or reject a certain kind of guy? How did your teachers react to you, as compared to the little academic girl wearing an alligator sweater and pantyhose who crossed her ankles next to you in class?

When you're young, and even as you age, clothing is such a personal form of expression - one where we balance risk and reward. There are downsides to dressing goth - the disapproval of teachers, parents, and other cliques; all of the unwelcome Columbine references; the fact that those clothes aren't cheap; given that, there must be a REASON for doing it that overcomes the downsides. What is it? It's worth examining.

I look at myself today: how do I dress? I suppose if I had no reason for dressing or doing my hair any other way, I'd default to sweatsuits and frizz, which are comfortable and cheap and easy to get. But I don't. I have admittedly shallow reasons for dressing the way that I do. I want to attract all-American guys, I want to gain the respect of high-level people at my company, who like a tailored look, I want to express a sense of "fitting in" with my friends, most of whom I met at Catholic school and private college and in banking ... so I dress very Talbots, with the occasional tight top, black pants and high heels. It helps me achieve my aims; that's why I do it. What is a kid who dresses goth trying to achieve, trying to say?

 

[RadioNate]

I think he looked like 1/2 the kids I went to HS with. Shouldn't we teach our childern not to tease people who look different? What do you think would have happened if one day this kid started wearing Abrocrombie etc. He would be teased more as a poseur and be made fun of for "trying to be cool."

I knew 2 boys who dressed like this kid. Bob and Dennis neither of them were deeply disturbed. Dennis is now career Army and Bob has a PhD. They both owned long black trench coats. Wore eye makeup and combat boots.

Had I known the kid I might have realized he was disturbed but I certainly don't get that JUST from his photo. Frankly I find it pretty judgemental that one can determine all that from a photograph. Maybe I should post a HS photo so people can sterotype my psychological issues.

 

[Caradana]

I knew 2 boys who dressed like this kid. Bob and Dennis neither of them were deeply disturbed. Dennis is now career Army and Bob has a PhD. They both owned long black trench coats. Wore eye makeup and combat boots.

Had I known the kid I might have realized he was disturbed but I certainly don't get that JUST from his photo. Frankly I find it pretty judgemental that one can determine all that from a photograph. Maybe I should post a HS photo so people can sterotype my psychological issues.

Good for Bob and Dennis for getting it together. Eye makeup, combat boots, long black trench coats, I bet the girls loved it.

I think my HS pic would say "major league dorkage" to you guys ... ha.

 

[Keli]

I gotta say though, the horns are a bit much. I can go with his clothes, eye makeup, long black trench coat, none of that would seem terribly odd to me. But the horns? That would imply he is trying to associate himself with satan. That speaks volumns to me about him, I would guess he was deeply troubled and crying out for attention.

 

[RadioNate]

Good for Bob and Dennis for getting it together. Eye makeup, combat boots, long black trench coats, I bet the girls loved it.

I think my HS pic would say "major league dorkage" to you guys ... ha.

Actually both this guys got pleanty of girls. Both were in honors classes at my Catholic prep school. I hear about Bob through a mutual friend. I'll ask if he still has his trench coat.

All I'm saying is the old you can't judge a book by it's cover.

This kid was obviously disturbed and I think someone should have picked up on it but I don't think his hair style and manner of dress are the overwhelming factors to decide that.

 

[DisMN]

Keli said:

I would guess he was deeply troubled and crying out for attention.

Tough stuff to live on one of the poorest, most crime riddled Indian reservations in the U.S. This was a 16 year old boy searching for his identity, at one point feeling disdain for his native american classmates for being into rap music because it wasn't culturally the "right" music for an indian......while listening to Marilyn Manson in his own spare time. The kid was in the middle of his very own identity crisis, and maybe one that by the very nature of his being born "native american" held a stigma most of us just can't fathom.

The Red Lake reservation is a unique place that strives for it's own independence even within it's own band of over 100 groups. At one point about 15 years ago you had to be issued a "passport" in order to visit the reservation. Life is simply different here than many places.

I don't know how a young person breaks out of the patterns set by his culture, set by the way everyone else around him lives. It almost seems like this kid was trying hard NOT to live the life of the typical indian.

But how do you break the cycle when it's all you know?

 

[babar]

Okay, this must just be where I live or something....I see a ton of kids that look like that everyday. Back in the 80's when I went to high school (late eighties/early nineties), that "might" have been different.

Now, it's not a look that anyone bats an eyelash at. There is no real different or outcast look around here anymore. In fact, those that dress like that are sort of considered the cool kids at this point!!! ---which would have been a death sentence back in my day....

besides, that photo is more punk than goth. Think Glenn Danzig of The Misfits....a fantastic PUNK band.

 

[HTH]

Well, if you live in Tennessee and have jet black hair, it's considered that

 

[RadioNate]

Okay, this must just be where I live or something....I see a ton of kids that look like that everyday. Back in the 80's when I went to high school (late eighties/early nineties), that "might" have been different.

Now, it's not a look that anyone bats an eyelash at. There is no real different or outcast look around here anymore. In fact, those that dress like that are sort of considered the cool kids at this point!!! ---which would have been a death sentence back in my day....

I said this in reguards to you post in the other thread but I'll repeat here. I see your in Chicago. I also grew up in Chicago and I agree that this look was very common. I went to HS in the early 90's and it wasn't something terribly strange then and I know from friends in the area that it's more common today.

I don't know what HS you live near but I know I went to a pretty "uppity" Catholic prep school and it was seen there and at the highly recognized public school down the street.

 

[transparant]

Ahhh - the good old mullet.

 

[orangeblossom]

I think I would have thought he was weird and possibly troubled.

 

[babar]

well, i have to tell ya!! Thank God I live in Chicago!!!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

something about goth culture really appealed to you. I'm genuinely curious: what was it?

In thinking about yourself, do you were trying to express something to the world with that? I'll hazard some guesses. Rejection of the status quo? Individuality? Not caring about what a certain subset of people thought? You thought you looked "pretty", "edgy", and "aggressive"? Were you trying to attract or reject a certain kind of guy? How did your teachers react to you, as compared to the little academic girl wearing an alligator sweater and pantyhose who crossed her ankles next to you in class?

I still think of myself as a 'goth' even though the gothiest I ever get these days is black nailpolish on my toes. But I still identify with them because the ones I hang out with (and still do sometimes) feel as if they don't fit into the mainstream society, they are on the edges and fringes and not everybody can identify with them. We (as in my group..not all goths think this way, there are even different styles of goth..punk-goth, faux-goth (think Avril Lavigne), etc) tend to get lumped into one group as all Satanic devil worshipping drugged out drunken wierdos. We are NOT that way. Not all of us, anyway.

In HS, I think my teachers tended to ignore those of us who dressed that way because it was easy for us to get lost in such a large HS as the one I went to. Most of us were in theatre, band or both. A few of us were in choir. We rejected the jocks and the 'cool' kids in the same way they rejected us. They made fun of us and we could dish out just as well as they could.

Goth culture, as you put it, appealed to me (still does, as a matter of fact) because you don't have to be thin or pretty or wear 'cool' clothes or be too extremely fashion concious to fit in. You dont' have to be anything that you're not, which is so often not true if you want to be one of the 'cool' people. Goths tend to be more accepting of differences and uniqueness than the 'cools' do, from what I've seen. Nerdy? Fat? Got dorky glasses? C'mon in. We'll let ya hang with us. As a matter of fact, with some goths, the wierder you look and the more piercings you have, the cooler you are.

TOV