Is there anyone else who doesn't do the whole "Santa" thing?

[SnowWhite607]

In your opinion, not everyone's and not mine.

Kids now adays know the horrible reality of the real world way too soon. A whole heck of alot sooner then when I was a child.

I like the idea of giving my children a little make believe magic away from the realities of this big bad world they will be forced into way too soon.

I'm not telling anyone to adopt my way of doing things or thinking, but respect my wishes, don't call me a bad mom for supposedly lying to my kids (which I think is a crock) and tell your kids don't spoil it for my kids. And when my kids do question Santa, I will turn it around also and say, What do you think? Just like my 10 year old told my 5 yo when she questioned this past trip at WDW, "How could Mickey be in so many places at one time?" He told her its magic. Yes, it is!

I agree, my DD is 7 and kids at school are already saying she should wear a training bra and shave her legs (neither of which she has a need to do yet ) so let them be little for a while longer!!!! Santa is part of that! Have any of you heard thatsong by Billy Dean calle d"Let them be Little"? You should google it and see if its on youtube.

 

[laceemouse]

Santa is not a fictional character. Santa Claus means St. Nicholas. St. Nicholas was a real person...a bishop in the Catholic church. History has it that he gifted poor families with dowries for their daughters so the daughters could marry.

In part, Santa Claus carries on this example of giving unearned perhaps undeserved blessings. Children are concrete beings. Santa Claus also, in part, represents our relationship with God. The love, the desire for our happiness, the benevolence...it is all a reflection of God's love for us.

Santa Claus isn't an anti-Christian tradition at all. Sadly, some people are unable to separate capitalism and Santa Claus. I think that's a loss for them.

In my home we have an advent wreath and nightly prayers around it. We have a Jesse Tree, where, during dinner each night in December, we learn about one of Jesus' ancestors and how he/she prefigured the savior. It is possible to instill a belief in Santa from a Christian viewpoint.

Personally, I know that Santa exists. He exists in the friends and coworkers who, knowing that emergency surgery caused me to go 2 months without a paycheck, handed me an envelope saying, "God told me to do this." He exists in a friend who, upon purchasing a new computer, gave my boys her old one so they could play games and do word processing. He exists in everyone who offers unsolicited charity. I believe, and I hope that throughout their lives, my boys will gladly both be Santa and accept the gifts he sends their way!

Absolutely perfect! The kids I know who have always been told that Santa is not real act like they are 10 going on 20. They have missed out on part of the magic of childhood. We have always done Santa with a wink, wink

 

[laceemouse]

I agree, my DD is 7 and kids at school are already saying she should wear a training bra and shave her legs (neither of which she has a need to do yet ) so let them be little for a while longer!!!! Santa is part of that! Have any of you heard thatsong by Billy Dean calle d"Let them be Little"? You should google it and see if its on youtube.

Sad, but so true!

 

[Elmo888]

I guess I am truly confused reading through this thread. Is Christmas something other than a Christian holiday? What else are you celebrating aside from the birth of the savior? That would be like non-Jewish people celebrating Hannakah...do they? Maybe I am naive. Do non-Christians celebrate Easter? To me, as a Christian this is even more meaningful than Christmas. Easter is what solidifies Him as the savior.

The Santa thing is a personal choice, but certainly prevalent and should be treated with respect. Judging you at work or elsewhere seems inappropriate.

I am totally not judging religion or lack of; that is one of the rights that make this country great.

Christmas isn't just a religious holiday anymore - it is a cultural one, too. It is completely entrenched in our American culture. Just walk outside and look around.

I do know a family who is from another country and they are not Christian, but they celebrate Christmas with a tree and such. The reasoning is "When in Rome...". I'd like to think that I would be the same way.

On the whole subject of kids and Santa, I certainly didn't like the whole lying thing with my first child. I understand how you feel. And we went through a whole lying thing with her, discipline-wise (twice). My second who is 4 is just really getting into it. Yes, it is cute, but I'm still uncomfortable,. I'm really just counting the days until it is over, between Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

And this year, DD8 brings up the whole elf thing. DH sends me web sites on info on how to do the elf thing, and I told him no way on earth am I maintaining another lie, esp. one for which I don't know the rules. In addition, I don't need more to do at Christmas. DD8 left out crackers and milk for a few nights to get an elf, but she didn't get one.

It really is a touch subject. I didn't realize that it was so touchy.

 

[MiniGirl]

Santa Claus does not visit our home. We have our reasons which I have explained on these boards before. Not all are because of our faith either. However, we had an absolutely wonderful day yesterday. I couldn't imagine that a unseen visitor in a red suit could have made the day any more fun and loving and ,yes, magical than it was. It was just perfect!!!

 

[PaulaSue]

We don't do Santa either. I tell people that and they usually look like I have 2 heads. My Aunts and others in my family don't repect it and usually say something like what did Santa bring or he left something at my house for you.

My girls think of him like a Disney "person", fun and they like his movies. They don't "spoil" the suprise and enjoy playing along. HEck my DD wore a Santa hat all day shopping today.

 

[Belle & Ariel]

When our kids were small, they each got a small "Santa present". We do not have Santas all over the house. We did this to focus on the real meaning of Christmas--the birth of our Saviour. They spent alot of time poring over ads and catalogs making their Christmas lists which became gifts from us. None of them will say they feel they missed anything by not making Santa a big deal.
I think many kids are trained to only see Christmas as what they will get--we prefer to focus on what God has given us.
There is a wonderful book by Lee Stroebel called the Case for Christmas. He was an atheist reporter for I think the Chicago Sun Times who set out to disprove Jesus but his intense research of ancient lands and history proved the Biblical facts true.

 

[Stacerita]

I dont want her children to lie. Just keep it to themselves and not spoil it for the rest of us who believe in Santa and want to keep our kids innocent for as long as possible. This may be the last year that DD believes and I am sad about it. It seems like the passing of an era in some way.....like she's growing up to be a big girl and it just all happened too fast.

What does being innocent have to do with it? Kids who don't believe can be just as innocent as those who do. And why should certain kids have to keep their beliefs to themselves while everyone one else can shout their's out? I just don't get it.

 

[nikkers]

Santa did visit our house. My DS (4) and DD (2) believe. We believe in celebrating St. Nicholas. Both of my children know that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. On Christmas eve we make cupcakes, and Christmas day we sing happy birthday to Jesus. I also agree that it is a time to be with family and friends.
I really have enjoyed reading everyone's posts. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

 

[luvsJack]

What does being innocent have to do with it? Kids who don't believe can be just as innocent as those who do. And why should certain kids have to keep their beliefs to themselves while everyone one else can shout their's out? I just don't get it.

And why can they not just be respectful of others beliefs and keep Santa to themselves? Its not about the "right" to shout your belief, its about the respect for others feelings.

It certainly seems to me that a child can still be innocent and not believe; but I must say that it seems that those who don't tend to act a bit more mature that those that do. (most not all) Maybe some are just treated as older by their parents and this is the reason for this. I don't think the non-belief is the only reason.

When dd tells me someone doesn't believe in Santa, I just say, "well, that's kind of sad" and let it go at that. Not trying to be insulting to those that don't believe (that is strictly your choice) but I would say the same thing if she told me someone doesn't believe in Tinkerbell or Mickey Mouse. And, you know, I believe in Tinkerbell and Mickey and, yes, even in Santa Claus myself. I believe in that wonderful magic that make each of them come to life in a child's (or adult's) eye. I believe in the spirit of giving that Santa represents. To believe that somewhere in this wide world is one being that only lives to give to others without ever expecting anything in return is, to me, a wonderful thing.

 

[MiniGirl]

And why can they not just be respectful of others beliefs and keep Santa to themselves? Its not about the "right" to shout your belief, its about the respect for others feelings.

It certainly seems to me that a child can still be innocent and not believe; but I must say that it seems that those who don't tend to act a bit more mature that those that do. (most not all) Maybe some are just treated as older by their parents and this is the reason for this. I don't think the non-belief is the only reason.

When dd tells me someone doesn't believe in Santa, I just say, "well, that's kind of sad" and let it go at that. Not trying to be insulting to those that don't believe (that is strictly your choice) but I would say the same thing if she told me someone doesn't believe in Tinkerbell or Mickey Mouse. And, you know, I believe in Tinkerbell and Mickey and, yes, even in Santa Claus myself. I believe in that wonderful magic that make each of them come to life in a child's (or adult's) eye. I believe in the spirit of giving that Santa represents. To believe that somewhere in this wide world is one being that only lives to give to others without ever expecting anything in return is, to me, a wonderful thing.

I hear you and agree with you. However, my girls have told only adults that they don't celebrate with Santa, and why is that? Because these well-meaning strangers push and push my kids for an answer. My girls have tried to smile and be polite or give some vague answer whenever asked by these people, "Are you excited about Santa coming to visit?" or "So, what is Santa going to bring you this year?" However, that isn't enough, and finally, my kids just tell them flat out that we don't celebrate with Santa. Then I have often gotten mini-lectures about how I am spoiling Christmas for them, etc, etc, etc. So, for those of you who enjoy the Santa aspect of Christmas, fine, go ahead and enjoy, but also please respect my family's right to celebrate without the man in the red suit.

I also honestly don't see what is so sad about Christmas without Santa. As I metioned in a previous post, we had a wonderful Christmas. I couldn't imagine it having been any nicer. However, I do read these boards about how Christmas was "ruined" because some neighborhood kid spilled the beans about Santa or because soeone couldn't find the right Santa gift or something like that, and I find that sad. I find it sad that something one person says or not finding one gift can "ruin" a day spent with loved ones.

But, to each his own......

ETA: luvsJack, I know I quoted you, but I didn't mean for it to sound like YOU have ever said that Christmas was ruined by that stuff. But that we have seen the posts on these boards of others who have said that. I just wanted to be sure you understood I wasn't talking about you personally.

 

[luvsJack]

I hear you and agree with you. However, my girls have told only adults that they don't celebrate with Santa, and why is that? [B]Because these well-meaning strangers push and push my kids for an answer. My girls have tried to smile and be polite or give some vague answer whenever asked by these people, "Are you excited about Santa coming to visit?" or "So, what is Santa going to bring you this year?" However, that isn't enough, and finally, my kids just tell them flat out that we don't celebrate with Santa. Then I have often gotten mini-lectures about how I am spoiling Christmas for them, etc, etc, etc. So, for those of you who enjoy the Santa aspect of Christmas, fine, go ahead and enjoy, but also please respect my family's right to celebrate without the man in the red suit[/B].

LOL! I can just imagine some little elderly lady doing exactly this! Adults are probably much more pushy about an answer about Santa than any kid would be.

And you are right; I have seen those posts too. Adults really can take all the magic out of Christmas just with the stress of finding the perfect present. The main thing that will ruin Christmas is stressing out!

Adults have taken the magic of Santa and stretched to the point of breaking. I can sort of see why some would not want their kids to believe. We have somehow taken this wonderful legend and turned him into someone that is all about extravagance. It shouldn't be that way. Santa should be about the magic of this beautiful season, not about how much loot one kid can get!

 

[mrsltg]

This is a very interesting thread. I'll say from the outset, I am Catholic. I was born into the faith and reaffirmed it of my own adult will. I am now the mother of three young daughters and we celebrate the birth of Jesus on Christmas which is celebrated on 12/25 (my dh, oldest dd, and I knowing full well Christ was not born anytime near December.) We also enjoy Santa Claus. He is as real for us as the birth of Christ. No, this is not a contradiction.

To our girls Santa is magical. He comes into our home when all are asleep and he leaves wonderful gifts to be found under our Christmas tree. He also stops in the nursery each time there is a new baby in our home and rocks her while telling her the story of Christmas. Here's where Christ ties into this story.

Years from now my daughters will be grown women with children of their own. Then, and only then, will they appreciate the enormity of love a mother has for her child. Part of this will be realizing what their father and I did to move heaven and earth to make Christmas real for them. I could sit all day and speak till I am blue in the face about a babe in a manger. The truth is it will mean virtually nothing to them until they have an experience to test their faith. What will, and does, mean something to them is the unconditional love shown for them. The desire to see the sparkling eyes and hear the squeals of delight. This is Santa for them. Santa for me was my newly single mother buying and wrapping her own gifts so my brother and I wouldn't suspect. Again, I didn't realize until I was an adult, and then, a mother, what that was and how important it was to my mom.

Yes, dh and I are Santa in our house. We embody the spirit of Christmas through giving and loving. One day our girls will put the pieces together and that is where Santa and Christ will intersect for them.

FYI - someone stated something about not being Jewish and still celebrating the Jewish holidays. You can celebrate anything you want. Unless you are doing the praying and the believing you are an observer (nothing wrong with that.) It is important, however, to note that attending a holiday celebration at someone's home does not mean you are celebrating in the spiritual sense.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

Such a lot of different responses to this one. Don't want to go back 7 pages to quote posts but want to respond to a few things.

Firstly I don't think that it is lying to your children to have them believe in Santa. Its a little bit of magic. A magical man who comes into your house on Christmas Eve and puts presents under the tree for boys and girls. My girls love getting presents but they also take great pleasure in handing out the presents they have helped choose for other people.

At my DDs school they teach the religious story of Christmas and do a nativity play etc. DD asks about Jesus and the nativity story and about whether it is real or not. I say that some people do and some people don't and its up to her if she wants to believe or not. I tell her that even if we don't believe it actually happened its a story which has a good message in it for us to learn from. She says she has not decided yet.

I enjoy the magic of Santa and would be very annoyed if another child told my DD that he wasn't real. Sorry but I would. I will tell her that like the nativity some people don't believe and some do.

I think though it is very sad that some people are saying that if your child asks their child then they deserve to know the truth. I think children should be taught about other people rights to believe in things that others don't. Its called kindness and respect. Same goes for saying that its terrible that adults ask what santa is bringing them. How cruel to a kind person making conversation with your child. Makes me a bit sad.

After all there is no real evidence that jesus was born on Christmas day is there?

 

[MiniGirl]

I think though it is very sad that some people are saying that if your child asks their child then they deserve to know the truth. I think children should be taught about other people rights to believe in things that others don't. Its called kindness and respect. Same goes for saying that its terrible that adults ask what santa is bringing them. How cruel to a kind person making conversation with your child. Makes me a bit sad.

After all there is no real evidence that jesus was born on Christmas day is there?

FTR, I never said the adults asking them this was terrible. I even called these folks "well-meaning" because I know they were just trying to be kind and make conversation. The part I don't appreciate is that they push when it is obvious my kids don't want to answer them, and I appreciate the ensuing lecture from these well-meaning adults even less. Like you said in your post, it is about kindness and respect. Apparently, we are expected to respect the beliefs and traditions of those who celebrate Santa, but our wish to celebrate w/o him is not worthy of the same kindness and respect. THAT is what I don't like.

I wil say though that when pushed my kids will tell you what they believe regardless of who is around to hear it. We have told them Santa is a huge deal in many families and not to "ruin" it for others. That is why they hem and haw when asked about Santa. They are trying to juggle not spoiling it for others with being honest and also standing up for their own beliefs while being respectful of others. I think that is a pretty tall order for adults much less my 9 and 6 year old dds.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

FTR, I never said the adults asking them this was terrible. I even called these folks "well-meaning" because I know they were just trying to be kind and make conversation. The part I don't appreciate is that they push when it is obvious my kids don't want to answer them, and I appreciate the ensuing lecture from these well-meaning adults even less. Like you said in your post, it is about kindness and respect. Apparently, we are expected to respect the beliefs and traditions of those who celebrate Santa, but our wish to celebrate w/o him is not worthy of the same kindness and respect. THAT is what I don't like.

I wil say though that when pushed my kids will tell you what they believe regardless of who is around to hear it. We have told them Santa is a huge deal in many families and not to "ruin" it for others. That is why they hem and haw when asked about Santa. They are trying to juggle not spoiling it for others with being honest and also standing up for their own beliefs while being respectful of others. I think that is a pretty tall order for adults much less my 9 and 6 year old dds.

To be fair I don't think people push for an answer of out badness or rudeness. I would imagine that they will presume that they do believe in Santa as most people do and think perhaps that the children might not have understood?
If it was me I would say to my kids to tell anyone that asks that it is Mummy and Daddy who bring the presents in our house. That is clear and truthful without saying that Santa doesn't exist. That is pretty clear to anyone that asks what the situation is and lets them ask what Mummy and Daddy are bringing them. It also means that they are not spoiling it for anyone else.
For example when asked about Jesus I don't tell people he doesn't exist. I just say that it is not something I believe in.

So that is kind of my point. I think all this is a bit defensive on the part of parents that choose not to have their kids believe. The whole "why should I lie to my kids", "if your child asks then they should be told the truth", "why should my kids not stand up for their beliefs" etc.

Let everyone have their beliefs but don't go round saying that children should be told Santa doesn't exist. Let them believe what they want to believe and do the same yourselves. Perhaps you get some stick from these "well meaning" adults because you have a slightly defensive approach? We don't always have to give the full story to strangers in the street. And anyway - what does it matter what strangers think?

 

[KibbyCat]

Original Poster here. I'd like to point out that, since the whole fiasco with my daughter and her so-called "friends" two years ago, we've pretty much kept to ourselves during the holiday season. She does not go to that school any longer (although I do still work there, and my other children go there), so she is virtually free from any judgmental people who would hold a grudge against her for an innocent mistake. Thanks to advice I've gleaned on here, I now know what I will say and do should the topic ever arise again. Ironically, my 5-year-old and 4-year-old believe in Santa, even though, as I originally pointed out, we don't exactly promote him. We have never sat down with them, as we did with our first daughter, and told them the story of St. Nicholas. However, I think that even if we did, they wouldn't put the pieces together and realize that St. Nicholas and Santa Claus are the same person, like our oldest did. She's very bright and perceptive. Anyway, I chose this year to just focus on the love and giving of the season. I mean, we watch movies like Elf and The Polar Express, and I wholeheartedly agree with their meanings. In fact, Elf is my favorite Christmas movie, and we always watch it multiple times each December. On the other hand, though, we do a book called "What God Wants for Christmas" each night starting a week before Christmas, so that we can focus on what the holiday means for our family. And the countdown chain that my kids pull rings off of each night leading up to Christmas also has a poem they recite that talks about Jesus' birthday. So, that being said, I think my kids had a great Christmas even if they didn't get gifts from the North Pole. They knew their daddy and I saved up to get them exactly what they asked for, and they were grateful; but even more importantly, they saved their own money and had fun buying each other gifts. My oldest was the most generous, spending all of her allowance (and even borrowing more money from her grandparents) so that she could get everyone something. This makes me feel like I've done right by her, even if I didn't teach her to believe in the "magic" of the man in the red suit.

And for the record, I agree with everyone who said that Santa is more of the "spirit of the season" than a fictional character. However, we choose in our family to focus on the "Spirit" of the season, and therefore, "Santa" rarely comes up.

Again, thanks to all for your replies.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

How sad that your DD can't go to the same school as your other children and you. That is not right is it? The other parents should be ashamed of themselves for that behaviour.

 

[KibbyCat]

How sad that your DD can't go to the same school as your other children and you. That is not right is it? The other parents should be ashamed of themselves for that behaviour.

I agree. Thanks for your kindness. However, these parents are rude and selfish in my opinion, and it's their loss. My daughter does have a few close friends who were not part of the original snub, and she does miss them and still occasionally hangs out with them, but it was actually her choice to stop attending that school. Since it makes her happy and saves me money, I'm fine now with the decision. Let me tell you, though, that I agonized over it and second-guessed myself for weeks after the school term began, thinking I was making a huge mistake. But it's all seemed to be all right, so now I'm glad I went along with her wishes.

It just goes to show the power of the "mob" in society, huh?

 

[ScotsMinnie]

I agree. Thanks for your kindness. However, these parents are rude and selfish in my opinion, and it's their loss. My daughter does have a few close friends who were not part of the original snub, and she does miss them and still occasionally hangs out with them, but it was actually her choice to stop attending that school. Since it makes her happy and saves me money, I'm fine now with the decision. Let me tell you, though, that I agonized over it and second-guessed myself for weeks after the school term began, thinking I was making a huge mistake. But it's all seemed to be all right, so now I'm glad I went along with her wishes.

It just goes to show the power of the "mob" in society, huh?

It really does. So glad she is happy now. Youwonder sometimes how children will turn out with parents like that.

You just have to do what you think will make them happy. Hope it all works out for the best.