Is there anyone else who doesn't do the whole "Santa" thing?

[KibbyCat]

OK, so what do you tell people?

We don't do Santa.

My kids think of him as a Christmas "character" - just another guy dressed up in a costume. To them, he's no different than Mickey Mouse or Chuck-e Cheese. But I never know what to say to people when they find out that we don't "believe in" Santa. I don't want to go into a bunch of religious explanations for my decision. I believed in Santa when I was younger....it's just that I want my kids to focus on the "true" meaning of Christmas, and not get caught up in all the commercialism and make-believe.

I get a lot of flack from relatives, co-workers, fellow church members, etc. who all think it's O.K. for their kids to believe in Santa, and who promote it. Fine. I'm not condemning them, I just don't ever know the right thing to say when asked. (Please no flames here - I've actually lost a friend or two over this very issue, and my daughter became very unpopular in her Kindergarten class when a classmate's mom found out. Sounds crazy, but it may have even cost me a promotion at my workplace once.)

Is there anyone else out there in my situation? What do you do/tell people?

Thanks!

 

[rparmfamily]

I'm not in your situation but I hope you teach your children to have the discretion not ruin it for other children.

 

[LisaMommy]

We don't do Santa. They humor me, I label gifts from "Santa" etc. but they have never actually believed. I told them as soon as they were old enough to understand that Santa isn't real. But I also explained that pretending can be fun too, and that we shouldn't ruin that for other people. Growing up my mother told me Santa existed but as soon as my dad found out he set things straight. I was about 4. I don't think it made my childhood any worse, and one of my best friends believed until she was about 12, so I was perfectly capable of not spoiling it for other kids.

As far as other people I usually just ask why they care, I mean it doesn't effect them. If someone's being nice about it, I'll just say that I think it's much more magical wondering how your parents got all those gifts purchased, wrapped and under the tree without waking you, but if they're being rude I'll get snippy and say something like "why would I want to lie to my children?"

Anyway, HTH.

 

[dementia412]

I used to say I was going to not lie to my kids about the fat man, but then I had kids and it just sort of happened. Its a good way to keep the kids on the straight and narrow for at least a couple weeks out of the year.
I feel for you though. I don't get why people would think thats so horrible. Try telling people Santa isn't coming because the kids were naughty some day! People freak out. How dare you NOT give your brat an extra toy after hes been a little menace for the past month? Its toys for crying out loud, it wont scare the child for life. Anyway I always wondered why anyone religious would do the Santa thing because when they discover the truth it might well make then question the reality of another being if ya know what I mean. Its a slipery slope of disbelief.

 

[susykt4]

I never believed in Santa growing up. I also dreaded Christmas because it meant huge family gatherings where my mom would get furious and ground me if I didn't socialize enough with the cousins SHE wanted me to be friends with. Christmas was about the birth of Christ and my siblings and I received very few presents in comparison to my similar social class friends. Christmas was by far my least favorite holiday.

When I had kids I went crazy with the Santa thing. I had a blast with it and it really helped me enjoy Christmas for the first time. However, now that my oldest is 8 and still clinging to her belief in Santa, I'm almost regretting it. We've always done presents from mom and dad as well as a couple small things and stocking stuffers from Santa. Now that she wants video games and other electronics rather than relatively inexpensive toys, Santa is a huge pain in my wallet! I also work on Christmas Eve and Christmas this year so had to lie to my kids about Santa making exceptions for working parents and coming early if needed. (He came on Saturday.)

I've had a lot of fun with Santa, but I also feel like my daughter is going to be Ticked. Off. about me lying to her! (Though probably not as ticked as when she realizes there's no tooth fairy or Tinker Bell.) Seriously, I cannot believe people give you grief about something so stupid! I don't know what you should tell these meddling idiots, but could you send your kids over to set my kids straight?

 

[MNdisneymom]

My son asked me when he was 3...yes 3, and boy am I glad that I told him the truth! We have had lots of discussions the past 2 years about the spirit of joy and giving that Santa represents, and this year I found a book about the original St. Nicholas (who was a christian bishop in what I think is modern day Turkey) that was nice.

He also knows that if he spills the beans to any kids who *do* believe that his "santa" present (the big one he gets on christmas day, we open family gifts on christmas eve which is a whole new post, ) will be given away to less fortunate kids. So he makes a big deal about keeping "the secret" a special thing that he knows, even if his little friends don't.

 

[disneyjunkie]

OK, so what do you tell people?

We don't do Santa.

My kids think of him as a Christmas "character" - just another guy dressed up in a costume. To them, he's no different than Mickey Mouse or Chuck-e Cheese. But I never know what to say to people when they find out that we don't "believe in" Santa. I don't want to go into a bunch of religious explanations for my decision. I believed in Santa when I was younger....it's just that I want my kids to focus on the "true" meaning of Christmas, and not get caught up in all the commercialism and make-believe.

I get a lot of flack from relatives, co-workers, fellow church members, etc. who all think it's O.K. for their kids to believe in Santa, and who promote it. Fine. I'm not condemning them, I just don't ever know the right thing to say when asked. (Please no flames here - I've actually lost a friend or two over this very issue, and my daughter became very unpopular in her Kindergarten class when a classmate's mom found out. Sounds crazy, but it may have even cost me a promotion at my workplace once.)

Is there anyone else out there in my situation? What do you do/tell people?

Thanks!

My sister's family doesn't do the Santa thing. Depending how you approach them (sister and BIL) about this, they will tell you that they have no desire to give someone else credit for their hard work.

The kids (11,9,3 and 2) are not missing out on anything by not believing in Santa. They still make HUGE Christmas lists, decorate the house, bake cookies, and have even gone to see Santa.

My sister and her husband have always gone all out for Christmas. They have just made the choice not to include Santa.

The kids know not to say anything about Santa to their peers.

 

[RMulieri]

Just tell people that you celebrate Christmas the way it was intended, or in your own way, or whatever you feel will get your point across and effectively end the conversation from becoming a debate..My dd believes in Santa.Before we had her I was not going to start the whole Santa thing...BUT both me and Dh believed and we both turned out fine.( despite well meaning people who told our parents that they would damage our growing psyche).Personally, while I love she believes in the magic, it will be a relief to not have to sneak around and keep things hidden for months at a time.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I'm not in your situation but I hope you teach your children to have the discretion not ruin it for other children.

Why would you want her children to LIE? I do not get this at all.

 

[Stephres]

I don't even understand how it is an issue at work. Honestly, would they treat a Jewish coworker that way? What your family does at home is your private time and I would not discuss it with those judgemental people.

Think of that way, it's your personal choice and if people can't respect it you will not discuss it. Period. Refuse to engage. Good luck and have a great holiday!

 

[mommyaof2]

My kids found out about Santa this year. My dds are 10 and 6. They did believe for several years. This year my dd10 flat out asked me and demanded to know the truth and my dh and I had always said that if they asked we would tell them the truth. I actually had some books to read to them that tells the history of St. Nick and ties it in with our belief in what Christmas is really all about. They took it rather well. I did have a problem with my dd6 going to school and telling other children though. Actually what started the questions was a little child from my dd6's class that told her Santa wasn't real. So, she wasn't the only one at school talking about it. I told my dd6 the night that she found out that she should never ever tell other children about the SOS (Secret of Santa) because all people believe in their own way. She told anyways. I was really upset with her and I even called her teacher to apologize and tell her that I would talk with her again about how important it is not to ruin it for kids that still believe. This is really a tough situation though, because we always tell our kids to be honest and to her, that was what she was doing, "telling everyone the truth." We have not had anymore problems except for the day after she found out though. I asked her teacher to have a nice little talk with her and I think that this did the trick. This really is a sticky situation and I would never want to ruin it for other children. How others believe is there very own business. I think dd6 now understands that it is not something you can just go around shouting out. We are still going to have a great Christmas this year. The kids really don't seem to be affected by "the news."

 

[mjkacmom]

Why would you want her children to LIE? I do not get this at all.

Because the majority of children believe in Santa, and I'm sure other parents would be upset if her children ruined an innocent belief in magic for their children. Most of the time, when kids get to the age where they don't believe, their parents make sure to tell them not to ruin it for others.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Why would you want her children to LIE? I do not get this at all.

No need to tell them to lie. Just tell them to keep their comments on this subject to themselves.

 

[RumpleMom]

As a former first grade teacher, I was always asked every year, by at least one child, if Santa was real. I had no idea what each child's family taught them, so this is the answer I gave along with a big smile, " I like to believe in Santa." That doesn't exactly answer the question, but always satisfied them. If it was a child who believed, then I seemed to be going along with their belief, and if it was a child who did not believe, then I was answering just for me.

Now as parents, we told our kids that Santa took a look at their wish list, and decided along with Mom and Dad which things they could receive. No use asking Santa for a pony or something inappropriate because Mom and Dad had veto power. Santa also gave Mom and Dad a bill for the toys so the list had to be reasonable. Also if the list was very long or especially pricey one item was left off just because we don't always get everything our heart desires in life. They also received things that were not on the list.

 

[Tink-aholic]

Isn't it ironic? My kids are 16 and 13, and we go wholeheartedly into the Santa thing and make sure we keep all of the religion out of the entire holiday! I have Santas everywhere but nary a manger!

But on a serious note, if I were to lose a promotion at work because of my holiday traditions, it would be illegal. Seems to me that you should be able to celebrate any way you like without social or professional repercussions.

Sorry this happened to you, OP. I hope you have a Merry Christmas anyway.

 

[Cloudwatcher]

My DH and I go one further then not doing the Santa thing.

On Christmas Eve we make a cake that says "Happy Birthday Jesus" on it, we put candles on it and sing happy birthday and then blow the candles out. We give parties for everyone elses birthday, why not baby Jesus. My DD4 has never thought of believing in Santa. She does know not to ruin it for those that do. When someone ask her about Santa she says "If you don't believe, you don't receive" This goes well with our Christian belief also. If you don't believe in Jesus you will never receive him into you heart and into your life.

We do give gifts. DD goes through the toy book and circles what all she wants. Then on Christmas day when she wakes up they are out just like if "Santa" had brought them. But she knows that instead of leaving cookies at night it is a big hug and kiss and a thank you in the morning for her dad and I.

I don't think we are being mean teaching her that there is no such thing as Santa, rather we are teaching her the true meaning of Christmas, a meaning that most kids don't get until they are alot older.

Don't ask about the Easter Bunny because you probably don't want to know the answer.

 

[tinkerlisa]

My mother always said that if you don't believe then Santa doesn't come. Low and behold, a few years ago my sister stopped believing(she's nearly 14 now almost 11 then) and Santa didn't come and my mom got her some lip gloss. That was it!

With my oldest, I said if you don't believe that's fine just don't spoil it for anyone else(mainly his brother). He says he believes but I don't think he does.
I like the whole Santa thing. Not because it gets my kids to behave for a couple of weeks but because to me, it helps make it seem more magical. Kids don't always get the religious reason behind the celebration.
My kids get one or two gifts from me and my hubby and 5 or 6 from Santa.
I believed in Santa when I was a kid and I am not upset with my parents for lying to me. It didn't turn me into some crazy lady that needs therapy!

Also, I know these people down the road do not do the whole Santa thing. There reason is different though. One of their kids has a medical reason that makes it difficult to get their child to understand that there is no Santa when the time does come.

 

[DawnM]

We don't do Santa. I keep hearing the "if you don't believe, Santa won't come" stuff and just roll my eyes.....if you don't believe in a mythical creature, you don't get gifts? If you don't stage this pretend scene and talk about it, you get nothing. Oh brother.

Dawn

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Why would you want her children to LIE? I do not get this at all.

Okay how about this. We are not Jewish. (just using this as an example) Our beliefs are different. If my child says that the Messiah has come and your child doesn't believe that should we call your child a liar? Afterall that is what WE believe. You don't have to believe it but it doesn't make it a lie. Just keep your opinons and thoughts to yourself and we will keep ours. (Not being snarky just making a point.) No need to ruin other people's holidays because your beliefs are different. There are plenty of things that I as an adult don't believe in but I wouldn't feel the need to say anything to someone about it if they thought differently. Your child doesn't have to say something they think is a lie but they also don't have to preach about what they think on the subject. KWIM?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We don't do Santa. I keep hearing the "if you don't believe, Santa won't come" stuff and just roll my eyes.....if you don't believe in a mythical creature, you don't get gifts? If you don't stage this pretend scene and talk about it, you get nothing. Oh brother.

Dawn

St. Nicholas is not a mythical creature. JMHO.