Is the first year of marriage the hardest?

[Laura]

Today's my first wedding anniversary, so I thought I'd post a fun poll. I've heard the saying that the first year of marriage is the hardest, and I wondered if it were true.

So, is it all downhill from here? Does it get better and better every year? Or does it stay the same?

 

[swea_pea1]

For us, the first year was definitely the hardest (I distinctly remember the Christmas ornaments flying through the house )

It has gotten much, much better....we're celebrating our 7th anniversary in September and I love him more every day!

 

[Beauty]

In all honestly the first 5 years of marriage were my worst. I was still young (Was married with a baby at 19) and all of my friends were still single and partying. My DH got a night job and my mother would keep our son anytime I wanted so I partied too. I was a HORRIBLE wife. My DH has never been anything but wonderful. We were together since 9th grade and never once has he disappointed me. But I was another story. I would go out and flirt with other guys and tell them I was not married. I was HORRIBLE! I am very lucky that DH loved me then and stayed with me because I honestly don't know that I could have done the same.

Now that being said we have now been married for 13 years and couldn't be happier. We are closer today than ever and I adore him. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for him and vice versa so NO it does not go downhill after your first year. I wouldn't trade my wonderful husband for anything.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

The first year is definitely the hardest.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I'd heard the same thing. With my first marriage it was true. The honeymoon was definitely over within 6 months. This time around it's just gotten better every day. We really didn't have any problems adjusting to living with each other (we lived together for about 9 mo before the wedding so we'd already done that). I think the more we've gotten comfortable with our roles and each others little quirks to more we've learned to work with them and make this thing work. I do know that the passion has died down quite a bit. We aren't .......you know....as much as we used to but we are every bit as affectionate as we always were. Guess that kind of stuff gets less important as you go along. I also don't believe that marriage is hard work. Or at least it shouldn't be. If you are both putting in to it what you expect to get out of it then it should go well. Congrats on completing your first year!

 

[Rajah]

I've only been married for 4, but you know, I think in our case the *second* year was actually the worst so far.

 

[Dan Murphy]

We're sneaking up on 33 here, Laura, congratulations on your 1st of many. I think it is a work in progress, every day, every year.

 

[Keli]

We will celebrate our 21st anniversary this summer. The first year was definitely difficult for us and things were much nicer after that point but hard things have happened to us and our loved ones in the last 21 years (deaths, illness, period of unemployment, etc) and there have been some times that were harder than our first year.

 

[TinkBoo&ElliesMum]

I'm not sure honestly, we've been married four and a half years and we've had our ups and downs, we still do. I think it's part of life, married or not.

Congrats on your anniversary!!

 

[powellrj]

Congrats!!! We have been married almost 26 years, and I would have to say the year we had our first child (he was due on our 5th anniversary) was the hardest.

 

[minniecarousel]

I gotta agree - the first year with our first baby was our toughest. We had a great first year together. Other stressful times included the years we bought our first, second and third houses. (buying AND selling them).

It gets better every year! As rough a time as I had when our boys left for college - I really like not having them around ALL the time! (did I just say that?!)

 

[Pin Wizard]

I think it depends on a lot...who you're with, if circumstances change from what they originally were, etc. I was married 4.5 years, and the entire time was tough. Not doing that again!

 

[Brer_Papa]

As Dan Murphy said, Marriage is always a work in progress....we are also 32+ years....and i suppose our 1st year was the toughest....but that's not to say there weren't other touh times that we got through...TOGETHER!

Remember the vows..."in sickness or in health,...in good times or bad...."
which defines a work in progress...so to answer your poll...it gets "better & better"....TOGETHER!

Happy 1st Annversary!

 

[disykat]

I didn't vote because I didn't want to say it all goes downhill, but I would definately say the first year was the EASIEST. Maybe it helped that I was older and had lived with lots of various roommates and also on my own. I loved being married and we enjoyed every moment of the first year with the exception of a knickknack argument when we first got married and I moved in and a painting project about 6 months in.

I thought things got harder when our 2nd child was born - about 5 years in. We've been married 13 years and we go through phases that are easier/harder - but I'd still say the first year was the BEST!

 

[Danauk]

Our first year of marridge wasn't really hard but things have got better since. I have been married for 6 years but married as I finished university. In our first year of marridge we had just bought a house, I was in the first year of my teaching career and DH in his 2nd. Money was tight so we could not do things we wanted to do or go places we wanted to go. As we became more settled in our jobs and were able to do more things, things have got better.

 

[Aimeedyan]

We'll be married 2 years in August... for our relationship, the first year was the hardest I think, actually, we're just now coming around... with the help of a great counselor, as well.

I have been sick practically since we married, so we haven't enjoyed the FUN part of marriage yet. REally. So we're not a good couple to speak to this... I'm finally diagnosed and on the way to recovery, but now paying for medical stuff is a strain! It's always something!

But *I* am back, and that helps things tremendously.

So I think it will get better from here =)

 

[C.Ann]

No - I don't believe the first year is the "hardest".. I think it's harder after the newness wears off.. Then again though, nothing in life is "easy" - or even meant to be easy - so it all works out in the end..

 

[Disney Doll]

The first year i an adjustment, true enough, but I don't know if "hard" is the right word...challenging may be better. I mean, look at hat you're doing...you are taking two people who were raised differently and expecting them to live together, with all their different quirks and expectations of what a marriage "should" be.

I think marriages go through cycles of hard and easy, depending on what's happening around you. A few years ago, we lost both of my ILs in the same year. THAT was a hard year of marriage for DH and I, because of external causes, but in many ways, it drew us closer together.

 

[Kimickey]

OMG it's funny that this thread has been started. My anniversary is coming up this Friday 14 May. DH and I were just talking yesterday about how it seems like we've been together forever, but this is only our 6th anniversary.

Marriage definitely gets better (IMO) as you get older. Maturity plays a big part in that. Just recapping what someone said earlier, " I remember Christmas ornaments flying through the house" DH and I have definitely grown together, there were times when I thought we were not going to make it as a couple, but God had other plans for us. Two children later we are still together and happier than kids in a candy store.

 

[WDWLVR]

I think the first year is the hardest. Maybe not for a couple who lived together before marriage, but definately the getting to know each others routines, etc. can make it hard.

We'll be celebrating 14 years this October. It does get better year after year. That' doesn't mean there aren't bumps in the road, but I think as the years go on you know how to avoid those bumps more.