Is it wrong for a male teacher to hug his students?

[Pigeon]

While I don't think it's wrong, it's stupid. He'd be setting himself up for accusations.

It is sad, but that's the way of the world these days. Dh is a high school teacher. He works with a guy who had a student make allegations that he was doing something inappropriate with another student. This teacher nearly lost his job without the administration ever even talking to the student to whom this supposedly occurred. He ended up having to take the administration to court to keep his job.

The accuser was a known troublemaker and the girl who was allegedly wronged had no idea what she was on about because the teacher never did a thing.

You cannot be too careful.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

things like this are so tricky in the teaching profession, I think its best to save your own hinny and not give a hug lol. Its sad, but thats the way it is now.

I student taught Kindergarten and some girls would run up to me and give me hugs, boys were never like that though. I had one girl who wanted to sit on my lap, I said it would be a GREAT idea if she sit side by side with me, I just didn't feel comfy with it b/c you never know what could be said. I think my co-op teacher was annoyed b/c I didn't want her on my lap b/c when I asked her for her advice in this she said "Well they are JUST in kindergarten". But all my teaching seminars and classes we were told this was a no no.

My DD is now in K and she runs and gives her teacher hugs all the time.

You just cant win IMHO lol.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

My father was a business manager at a private school for many years. We also attended the church connected with the school so he knew many of the children and parents personally. He stayed away from the kids as much as possible and never hugged even the ones he knew quite well. Tried never to be left alone with any of them also.

It is best to protect yourself .

My father is a minister and this is his philosophy as well. The only kids he holds, hugs or kisses (outside of the obligatory holding of someone's baby) are his grandkids. We know people who ignored this rule with good intentions who suffered bad consequences.

It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you!

 

[MELSMICE]

I'm sorry but I think this whole thread is just sad. How pathetic is it that when our kids want a hug from their teachers who are as close as a second parent- that people get all freaked out about them being inappropriately touched.

Very sad that this is the world we live in...then we wonder why kids are showing more and more human to human detachment.

I agree. My young dance students hug me all the time. They come in to class & hug me. Before they leave class they hug me. Before they walk out of the building I get hugs. The parents are usually right there.

I have one little girl that is so "in love" with me that she'll "pet" me throughout class. She's continually petting my legs & hugging me. She has a very attentive mother & the mom says she does the same thing to her preschool teacher. It doesn't bother me & the mom is fine with me hugging her or patting her on the back.

 

[FINFAN]

no physical contact. DS Physics teacher was arrested last month for being with one of the students...slippery slope.

 

[Imzadi]

I agree 100%. Altho it may be the only hug some students recieve, sadly in today's world, any adult has to have their guard up at all times.

We have a student right now that has brought charges against a very well respected teacher. The whole situation is so sad all the way around.

Terribly terribly terribly sad. I think this is one of the reasons my mom was really glad to retire when she did. She was still a teacher at the beginning of all the predator paranoia and that paranoia has only become more and more extreme. I don't think she could have dealt with no longer being able to comfort/hug her kindergarteners when they needed it, after having done so for the first 25 years of her teaching career.

It might not be wrong, but it's INSANE. DH will try to not be alone with a female student and if he is, the door is wide open.

Back, 30 years ago, when I was a junior in high school, I was walking out the school's back door at the very same moment my vice-principal was leaving. I always liked him. We got along great. He was the cool v-principal. He asked me if I wanted a ride home. I told him where I lived. (It was a couple miles away and not in his usual direction.)

He said, "That's fine, let's go."

I hesitated for a moment. He saw that and said, "Are you afraid?"

Fear hadn't even entered my mind even though he was black and a big man. (The school was predominantly white. There was a lot more racism back them.) I truthfully said in shock, "No!!! I was thinking: I have some heavy books upstairs in my locker. I'd love to take them home especially if I'm getting a ride, but I don't expect you to wait for me to go get them. You're halfway out the door."

He said, "No problem. Go get them, I'll wait."

"Really?" I ran upstairs, got the books and jumped into his car. He drove me directly home without any inappropriate occurrence.

In today's times, if anyone saw a teen girl getting into the v-principal's car after school, there would be rumors. He would probably be brought in by the school board for questioning.

He could also have been in danger because what if I reported later that he molested me, even if he hadn't. An innocent intention and incident could really be blown up the wrong way by the wrong people.

 

[luvsJack]

Its not wrong for a teacher to hug a child, what is wrong is all the people who make it seem dirty and perverted for a teacher to hug a child.

I know a teacher than came up with "alternatives to hugging". If a child needs a hug, she will reach out her arms far a part and tell the child to do the same and the sort of wave "jazz hands" at each other. No touching involved, but it can make a down in the dumps kid smile! Another thing she will do is get the whole class to do a "happy dance"--that brings on lots of smiles too. Once when her class mastered a skill they had been working on, she took the whole class outside and did a happy dance and jump for joy. The principal came by and asked what they were doing, when she told him; he joined in!!

She says she is very saddened that the world has made it impossible for her to hug her children as she knows there are many that will not get any human touch without a hug, but she just finds other ways to make them smile, congratulate them and to let them know she loves them.