Is it wrong for a male teacher to hug his students?

[nile455]

My brother in law is a 3rd grade teacher and says he makes a concerted effort to avoid hugs by his 3rd grade students. He says he would like to hug them, but avoids it at all costs because it makes him feel nervous and that if a parent sees it they will look at it in a bad way. This got me thinking, female teachers hug their students all the time and it's totally acceptable, but he's kinda right, a male teacher hugging a 3rd grade girl will raise eyebrows and it's unfortunate. Thoughts?

 

[golfgal]

Even female teachers are taught not to hug kids. There are just too many hyper parents that make something out of nothing out there and it just isn't worth ruining your career over. When the twins were in kindergarten, their teacher told the kids they could give her a handshake, a high five or a hug-leaving it up to them (this was as they were leaving each day).

 

[ilovejack02]

My father was a business manager at a private school for many years. We also attended the church connected with the school so he knew many of the children and parents personally. He stayed away from the kids as much as possible and never hugged even the ones he knew quite well. Tried never to be left alone with any of them also.

It is best to protect yourself .

 

[bookgirl]

One arm hugs or two arm hugs?

First one okay, second one, ehhh not so much.

One arm hugs expecially side ones are pretty socially acceptable even with guys.

Full body two armed hugs are a little more intimate(?) and may be seen the wrong way.

But I think more guys should hug. Better than a slug to the arm. But that's just me.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't necessarily look at it as a male female thing....
I look a the question as to whether a full-blown hug is appropriate.

I don't see how anyone could find a one-arm, pat on the back, hug as inappropriate. But, yes anything more than that I might not consider to be a good idea.

I know that there are those kids who think that they hug everyone and everyone has to hug them back like Grandma... But, IMHO, that does not change my overall thoughts about it.

 

[4nana]

Even female teachers are taught not to hug kids. There are just too many hyper parents that make something out of nothing out there and it just isn't worth ruining your career over. When the twins were in kindergarten, their teacher told the kids they could give her a handshake, a high five or a hug-leaving it up to them (this was as they were leaving each day).

My father was a business manager at a private school for many years. We also attended the church connected with the school so he knew many of the children and parents personally. He stayed away from the kids as much as possible and never hugged even the ones he knew quite well. Tried never to be left alone with any of them also.

It is best to protect yourself .

I agree 100%. Altho it may be the only hug some students recieve, sadly in today's world, any adult has to have their guard up at all times.

We have a student right now that has brought charges against a very well respected teacher. The whole situation is so sad all the way around.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

My mil is a teachers aide and they are only allowed to high 5. If they have to contain a student because of a fight they have to do so in a certain manner to avoid any possible chance of someone saying someone was touched "wrong". Its insane.

 

[MushyMushy]

I was taught not to hug the kids and I'm a woman.

I do know that a lot of the teachers in our district do a one armed, side by side sort of hug with the kids, which is nice. It's better than having to push them away when they want some sort of affection.

 

[punkin]

I know it is a problem for teachers because it can so often be misconstrued, but I always liked affection from my teachers and my DDs are the same, so no I don't think it's wrong to hug a student, but unfortunately it may not be prudent for your continuing career.

 

[marcyinPA]

So sad, considering how many kids could use a hug! I see so many who are just craving attention, and have the need for physical touch.

At any rate, teachers, both male and female, are discourage from hugging. The kindergarten teacher at my DS's old elementary school always greeted her children with "Hug, handshake, or high five?" and gave them what they asked for.

I teach two year olds at a private preschool, and I hug them all the time! It's the best part of my job!!

 

[disneychrista]

No teacher should initiate a hug and should be very carefull hugging even if initiated by the student.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Tell him to do the "high 5" thing. I would not hug either.

 

[threecrazykids]

I'm sorry but I think this whole thread is just sad. How pathetic is it that when our kids want a hug from their teachers who are as close as a second parent- that people get all freaked out about them being inappropriately touched.

Very sad that this is the world we live in...then we wonder why kids are showing more and more human to human detachment.

 

[Cinerbelle]

My husband is a high school teacher and would NEVER hug a female student... but I have seen him hug his football players after an awesome play on the field or after a big game.

The stigma of even being accused of doing something with a student (even if the teacher didn't) is so scary that my hubby won't even speak with a female student in his classroom alone... if they need to talk after class he walks them out in the hallway for the discussion.

 

[madcam]

Isn't it sad that the perverts in the world have made it so that those who work with or around children must at all times think through every show of concern or affection so as not to be misconsrued as "inappropriate"? My DD5 is in Kinder with a female teacher and DD10 is in 5th with a male teacher. Both my DDs love hugs and are affectionate kids. Kinder teacher is "appropriately affectionate" with her kids. 5th grade teacher....not at all. And I don't blame him one bit!! He is a fun guy and a great teacher but he kinda has to hold them at arms length. I even spoke to my DD10 at the beginning of the year about how it might be a little different having a male teacher this year (that he may not be as "soft" with her but that as her teacher, he would still care about her but he may just show his concern and support in a different way.)

 

[CharliNye]

Hell my preschooler came home last week to tell me they were told they can't even hug each other!!

Really? Four yr old kids can't hug each other? Two little "best friends" girls can't hug each other?

It really has gotten out of control.

 

[tnmt]

My son's 3rd grade teacher was a male and he also avoided any physical contact with his students too. He said with this day and age you can never be too cautious and I agree with him. I am very cautious about who I let my son invite over to spend the night etc.

 

[DisMN]

I'm sorry but I think this whole thread is just sad. How pathetic is it that when our kids want a hug from their teachers who are as close as a second parent- that people get all freaked out about them being inappropriately touched.

Very sad that this is the world we live in...then we wonder why kids are showing more and more human to human detachment.

Terribly terribly terribly sad. I think this is one of the reasons my mom was really glad to retire when she did. She was still a teacher at the beginning of all the predator paranoia and that paranoia has only become more and more extreme. I don't think she could have dealt with no longer being able to comfort/hug her kindergarteners when they needed it, after having done so for the first 25 years of her teaching career.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

I miss the days when hugging was ok. When I was in second grade Iwas in special ed (for reading since I flunked most spelling tests) and our teacher was great about hugs. all you had to do was ask. Used to be my favorite time of day, getting a hug, and hearing her say "i believe in you."
I teach preschoolers and we hug alot.

 

[krcit]

I'm friendly with my kids elementary school gym teacher and he can't hug anyone. It's sad. I have seen little 1st graders run up to him and try to hug him and he literally has to hold them at arms length and say 'remember no hugs." It stinks.