Is it rude to ask guests to attend/pay for a destination wedding?

[Haley R]

We used to live in Iowa and that’s where all of our family is from. We decided we wanted a destination wedding in Orlando (not at disney). We only invited parents, grandparents, and siblings because we wanted to keep it small.

We did end up paying for the hotel rooms for dh’s family. They would not have been able to go without it. Was it expensive? In the grand scheme of things....no. My parents paid for the wedding which wasn’t expensive and we got to make sure everyone could go.

Once we got back from Orlando we had a big reception and invited extended family. I would 100% do it this way if I had the choice to do it again. It was amazing to have such a small wedding and be where we wanted our wedding to be

 

[ursookrazie]

I have a really big family (typical Filipino size) and when I was looking into alternative wedding options, the prices were getting way to high for our budget and we would be paying for the entire thing ourselves. My family kept joking around about having a Disney wedding and we found out that it was surprisingly cheaper to have it on the DCL. I felt guilty about having to make people pay to come to our wedding but I got engaged at Disneyland and a Disney wedding sounds magical.

After talking with my immediate family about it, we concluded that having a destination wedding was a way to filter out the people who wanted to go just for free food and stuff. We would still send out invitations to everyone and if they want to go, they're welcome to come if they're willing to pay. This really shortens the guest list too. As for the people that we really do want to attend, mainly immediate family and closest friends, we offered to help pay their deposit (maybe some portion of their overall payment) so they can focus on saving up for the rest of the cruise.

We live in Northern California while most of our family live in San Diego so to ease travel costs, we made sure to book our cruise that was departing from SD. That way, only my fiance and I have to drive down (we're used to it by now) and our family don't have to worry about flights or hotels.

We understand that some people may not be able to come for other reasons that are not financial. We are still planning on having some sort of celebration before the cruise sail date so they can celebrate with us.

 

[Toolulu22]

I have a really big family (typical Filipino size) and when I was looking into alternative wedding options, the prices were getting way to high for our budget and we would be paying for the entire thing ourselves. My family kept joking around about having a Disney wedding and we found out that it was surprisingly cheaper to have it on the DCL. I felt guilty about having to make people pay to come to our wedding but I got engaged at Disneyland and a Disney wedding sounds magical.

After talking with my immediate family about it, we concluded that having a destination wedding was a way to filter out the people who wanted to go just for free food and stuff. We would still send out invitations to everyone and if they want to go, they're welcome to come if they're willing to pay. This really shortens the guest list too. As for the people that we really do want to attend, mainly immediate family and closest friends, we offered to help pay their deposit (maybe some portion of their overall payment) so they can focus on saving up for the rest of the cruise.

We live in Northern California while most of our family live in San Diego so to ease travel costs, we made sure to book our cruise that was departing from SD. That way, only my fiance and I have to drive down (we're used to it by now) and our family don't have to worry about flights or hotels.

We understand that some people may not be able to come for other reasons that are not financial. We are still planning on having some sort of celebration before the cruise sail date so they can celebrate with us.

I feel that it is your day, you should have the wedding you want. Other people will say you’re being selfish. When we had our Disney wedding we made came up with a number and invited guests who we knew would come (we asked). We didn’t pay for their travel or hotel expenses, but most made a vacation out of the trip. There was one couple would invited themselves. We did have some activities and meals planned throughout the time though.

Several people told us they would have gone, had we invited them- so you may be surprised. Especially after being cooped up in this pandemic, you may have a bigger turnout than you realize

Oh, its five years for us today!! 6-9-15 We celebrated with Doordash delivery of Cheesecake Factory

 

[ursookrazie]

I feel that it is your day, you should have the wedding you want. Other people will say you’re being selfish. When we had our Disney wedding we made came up with a number and invited guests who we knew would come (we asked). We didn’t pay for their travel or hotel expenses, but most made a vacation out of the trip. There was one couple would invited themselves. We did have some activities and meals planned throughout the time though.

Several people told us they would have gone, had we invited them- so you may be surprised. Especially after being cooped up in this pandemic, you may have a bigger turnout than you realize

Oh, its five years for us today!! 6-9-15 We celebrated with Doordash delivery of Cheesecake Factory

Yay! Happy Anniversary!

I wouldn't be against if most of them end up going. It's not the situation where I haven't talked to them in years so I would be pretty happy if they attended. But it definitely took some stress off of trying to narrow the guest list myself.