Is it me or do people/families not eat dinner anymore?? VENT

[teacup princess]

Geez, this is one snarky thread!

OP, to answer your question, I haven't really noticed as much people not sitting down together as much as I have the number of people who eat out or fast food every single night. I'm not sure how they afford that. We may not eat together every single night but I try to make sure we eat a decent cooked dinner together 4 or 5 nights a week. Sometimes I must admit when things get crazy, we all just want to relax, veg out, and just eat a sandwich in front of the t.v.

 

[Amyhoff]

I am a Stay at home mom with young children, so we do eat dinner together. However, I am not so forgetful to remember how it was when I was a teenager and into many sports. We didn't eat dinner together.

Maybe the boys that went to the golf event brought money?? I've never been to a golf course without a grill, even county courses.

 

[jaminmd]

OP was just making an observation and I think a good one. Why do other posters have to so rude!

I find it sad that families do not eat together and it fustrates me the number of activities that schools/sports/churches plan at 6:00-6:30. What is the point of being a family/having a family if you can't spend time together?

I try to cook for my family every night...which means that I am up early each morning preping so that dinner is a breeze in the evenings and we can spend some time together. Yes, when those events cut into family dinner time, my menu adjusts to fit the schedule.

As for spoiling her family and making some future wife a "great husband"...or living in the basement for the rest of his life...REALLY DID YOU HAVE TO GO THERE!


What amazes me is the number of families that live by eating out almost EVERY night of the week. I am amazed that people can afford that!

How is it amazing? There are plenty of Americans that can afford to eat out for every meal if they choose to. Maybe those amazing people order out so they can spend time with the family instead of slaving in the kitchen.

So, just so I'm clear...

You're better if you eat dinner between 6-7, if you can cook for 30 people with your pantry staples, if you get up early to prepare that nights dinner & if you cook lunch for all the teenage boys in the neighborhood. Check. Got it.

Yes I'm being sarcastic. Don't be so judgmental on how you assume other families spend time together. My guess is that all of you that have the perfect family dinner every night, on time, same time, are families where one parent is home most of the time to do that. Most dual working families don't do it that way, especially juggling kids schedules.

This board is full of crock pot lugging, hot dogs cooked in coffee pot, ask for an extra bun to avoid buying a second burger, kind of people. I find it hard to swallow the judgement on what time people choose to eat dinner.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, we don't eat out a lot, because my kids are always running. DH coaches 4 nights a week, and teaches one night a week, and we have at least 2 activities, up to 6, each night, so I serve dinner at a time when I have a majority home. Tonight was especially crazy, so I ordered pizza, but I'm still waiting for one to get home at 8:30, and one to get home at 9.

It all works out - it really does rotate as to who is not here. It's probably a bit easier with just one child.

 

[okeydokey]

We do have dinner as a family every night. If Scouts or a school event start at 7, we eat at 6.

We never take a call while we are at the dinner table. That's why we have an answering machine.

 

[blanq]

My family does not eat together very often because we have non-traditional work schedules. I meal plan and do cook meals for my family but we rarely eat meals together. I work M-F, 7:30-4:00 (or later), DH is a shift worker and works 7 am - 7pm or 7 pm -7 am all different days of the week, and DS (age 17) works 3 pm - 10:00 pm several days a week and spends lots of time with his friends on the weekends missing meals altogether.

 

[momabaarjo]

No where in my post did I mention a traditional time or set hour for dinner. I do like to have dinner ready at 6 pm. But on nights when we are pulled in different directions we eat when we can...thank goodness for crock pots, tacos, and other fast meals! Having 3 children in 3 different schools, and being in education myself it is hard but it is something that is a priority both for family time and budget!

As for amazed at eating out and affording it...I am amazed how people can do this! For my family of 5...we spend close to $60 for an average meal out...even fast food is nearly $30. If you multiply that by at least 5 nights a week that is close to $300 a week or $1200 a month! WOW! My grocery budget (minus most meat is $75 a week...$300 a month the same for 1 week of eating out). How do people do it!?

WHAT AMAZES ME MORE IS HOW RUDE OTHER POSTERS CAN BE WHEN OTHERS STATE AN OPINION DIFFERENT THEN THEIR OWN. Lately there has been a rash of judgemental posts on the board...I try to stay with the facts as much as possible and treat other opinions with kindness. I have learned that you can't change my mind, and I can't change yours...but we can be nice to each other!

 

[ilovediznee]

WOW, I never expected some of these answers. I've been on the boards for years and I must say they are getting more and more vicious as time goes by.

My main point was not necessarily WHEN families eat, it is the fact they DON'T EAT at all. As one poster said, many times my DD has friends over who haven't eaten all day or they come to their soccer games at 10:30 am and haven't even eaten b'fast. I feel bad for these kids.

I don't care when people eat and yes we eat late somedays but it is the point that some people don't even consider that other people do eat and eat together. Her soccer coach said she totally forgot about dinner when he planned last season's games. I also have a friend who doesn't even consider dinner a part of their families day.

For all of you that felt the need to be mean, thanks but no thanks. I enjoy being on these boards for feedback, not criticism. Please find something else to do besides bashing on the OP's.

 

[MrsPete]

I don't think the OP was hung up on the timeframe so much as the idea of not having dinner together with the family. It's a time-honored tradition, a time for family to come together at the end of the day, and LOTS of research shows that it's one of the single best things you can do for your kids / your family.

Dinner is more than nutrition. It's about family.

It doesn't take much looking around to see that many families are not connected as strongly as families were in the past. Certainly plenty of things are to blame for this: Busy schedules, technology that separates rather than uniting . . . but making dinner a priority is a way to overcome these problems. Eat early, eat late, eat take-out, cook it in a crock pot, bring a picnic and have dad meet you just after soccer practice -- you can manage dinner together in many different ways.

 

[angierae]

We try to eat dinner at home as a family as much as we can. I get home from work at 5:30 and we're usually eating by 6:30 or so, maybe a bit later if I go for a walk or work out before I start cooking.

But let's take this week's schedule as an example:

Monday: Dinner out with my MIL to celebrate her birthday
Tuesday: we'll eat at home
Wednesday: DH is working Wednesday night, DD has dinner with her biodad every Wednesday. I'll probably fix myself a sandwich.
Thursday: DH out of town on a business trip. I get home at 5:30, DD has a flute lesson at 6, which means as soon as i get home we're back out the door again. If she's really hungry she'll fix herself something before I get home, if not we get home from flute around 7 and we'll probably just individually scrounge up something rather than cooking a whole meal that we won't eat til 7:30 or 7:45.
Friday: DH on business trip, DD with her dad (it's his weekend) and I'm going out of town for the weekend as well.

That's one night we can sit down for a homecooked meal. Sure, I could cook Thursday after we get home but after running around to flute lesson and back I probably won't feel like it. I could put together a crock pot meal, and I might. Or we might do soup and sandwiches and be just fine with that.

 

[gillenkl]

I'm almost afraid to answer the OP

Our family eats dinner just about every night together. It's how we roll and we purposely make a choice to do it. At this point in our lives, it's what works for us - but we don't have teenagers or sport players in our family. I'm also a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom and so that plays into our homelife as well - and I feel like it's a blessing and privilege for us to all be together as much as we are. Some people due to work, etc... just don't have the option of sharing meals together. I think everyone just has to do what works for them.

 

[Mom21]

I'm not going to make excuses. Just going to say it like it is. It is just me and dd. She is here 5 nights a week and 2 with dad. I cook everyday she is here, but we don't eat together. If she has gym I eat earlier and she eats when she gets home. If she is home, she eats in the family room and I eat at my desk. I know bad mom. I homeschool and she is with me all day. We talk all the time about stuff. I know most of what she is doing. Honestly, I just like to eat and be done. It takes me less than 5 minutes at my desk. Yesterday we went to a competition and we were in the car for 7 hours plus had a nice long lunch together. Over 12 hours of togetherness is plenty at her age (14). I think we get plenty of together time. She will return to school next year, and I have been thinking I should start eating meals with her so I can hear about her day.

 

[ilovediznee]

I commend you for that and glad you do. As I said, I work FT and PT so I'm gone two nights per week. Someone asked why my DH doesn't cook, well, I make the choice to cook for them so it is easy. He also travels so I do what I can to make things easier. He in turn unloads the dishwasher, does the wash and takes DD to soccer the nights I have to work.

We might not eat together when I'm at work, but they appreciate what I do and tell me so.

Di

 

[JamesMom]

I believe that the 'family' dinner is becoming a lost art -- and we are guilty as charged. I am a stay-at-home mom. My husband gets home from work at 7:00-7:15, too late to eat, bath and wind down for 8:00 bed time so the kids eat earlier ~6:00. I prepare enough dinner for 3: DS8 eats with me and DS5 who is mildly autistic with sensory issues eats his own meal while DH eats after the kids go to bed when he can relax and as a couple we can talk about our days. Saturday night the kids eat solo so that DH and I can have 'date night' where we grill or get take out and watch a movie after the kids go to bed. Sunday is really the only night we eat together as a family - pizza the usual meal as it is something EVERYONE can eat and eat at the same time. Sunday morning breakfast is the other meal we all eat together (pancakes or waffles with eggs, bacon, etc).
I would love to eat as a family, but for our circumstances it isn't possible.

 

[punkin]

I don't think that many people feel this way about providing a nice meal and good conversation for their family. I had a mom who cooked great meals- most of which she learned from her grandfather, btw- so it is not just a chick thing! She taught me to cook. today people do not take the time to teach their kids how to cook so they are overwhelmed as adults to actually put a meal together. I could cook a meal for 30 people at any one time from just my pantry food- how many people can do that today? I bet your grandmothers and grandfathers could! They could make one chicken into 5 meals at least!

Yup! I can do it...and when DH was facing unemployment you can bet that chicken lasted us a whole week.

OP was just making an observation and I think a good one. Why do other posters have to so rude!

***

As for spoiling her family and making some future wife a "great husband"...or living in the basement for the rest of his life...REALLY DID YOU HAVE TO GO THERE!

Yes. Definitely.

 

[walkdmc]

I'm picturing Dana Carvey as Church Lady...."Well aren't you special?"

 

[grafxgirl]

The 4 of us don't eat at the same time. My husband is out the door by 4:30 am so that leaves my 2 kids and me for breakfast. I will pre-make something over the weekend so the only thing I have to do is preheat a decent breakfast. None of us eat lunch together during the week due to school and work. My husband picks my daughter up from the bus stop since he is home early enough. They will eat dinner, then have something waiting for my son and me. He and I usually take time on the weekend to plan our weeknight meals, pre-make what we can, and cook what is necessary at the moment it is needed. I teach in another county and the commute is not fun. My son goes to the preschool where I teach, so by the time we get home it is 6:30ish. He and I will eat together. Between my husband and me working, him working on his bachelor's degree, me working on my masters degree, and both our kids involved in soccer (two different age groups, two different practice times, and all day Saturdays at the games) we don't have the ability to sit down every night, all of us. We do spend every Sunday morning together as a family having breakfast. Some Sundays we make a big one here at the house, and other Sundays we go out for breakfast. Just because we don't eat at the same time doesn't mean we don't find time to talk and be with one another each night.

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

We eat together around 545-6 every night. My kids have never been that involved in lots of evening things, and DH comes home then. Works out great

I do notice a lot of people work really late, which leaves no choice for the ones at home who are hungry or need bath and bed!

I think this is more of a "we work too hard" thing than a "we aren't good parents" thing. Wish there was a way to reduce stress on families.

What can we do?

 

[sissy_ib]

Yes I notice it! We are one of the minority and eat together! My boys are teenagers and I fix breakfast for the 3 of us (hubby is at work) and we eat together. For dinner we eat together ....even during sports seasons we will eat early or late but there is at least one parent and child eating together. Like you I always cook and plan ahead so there is something good and fast to eat.

BUT there are the meetings that the coaches plan at 6 or 6:30 PM...the practices that go from 4-7PM or something. Even the school will have meetings (high school orientation, etc.) at 6 or 6:30PM.

I am amazed at the number of families that don't eat together...even those where parents don't work. My son had a friend eat with us last night and it was like he hadn't had a good, normal dinner for days. Also found it interesting that my son had an all day sport even (golf) and his two friends who spent the night and my son were ONLY ones who had a lunch (they left at 10AM and returned home at 5PM). Some nice mom packed lunches and drinks for all of of them. No one else did --- know kids are old enough to do themselves but must admit at 8:30 AM on a Saturday morning teenage boys are more interested in sleeping or eating the eggs and bacon that nice mom made for them than packing a lunch!!

And yes the phone does ring to during dinner with people "are you busy"... I see who caller ID says it is and let it ring. OR the new favorite is to ring a cowbell in the ear of the solicitation call. I can tell from caller ID (shows area code and then 000 and remaining 4 numbers) that is is "Rachel" from cardholder services telling me there is nothing wrong with my account but they can consolidate or reduce interest rate. I just need to push '1' to talk to someone. I will push '1' and then ring bell as loud as I can in their ear...oh well!

Enjoy dinner with your family!!!!

Seriously the rudest thing I have ever heard of. Why don't you just turn off the phone or ignore it while eating dinner? Or better yet get yourself on the national no call list. The people who are calling you are just doing their job and trying to make a living. There is no need for that kind of abuse.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

People are being snarky because the op came off as judgy and holier than thou. Like she is a much better mom/wife then everyone else. And I am sorry, but I think teens are capable of feeding themselves. I agree that the bell ringing is odd behavior! I am surprised by how people are just glossing by the fact that this op rings a cowbell in the ear of telemarketers. So much for being miss perfect haha.