Is it even possible?!

[Single_Mom]

So my youngest son was talking today about how we only have 58 days until we head to Disneyland and my oldest son, out of nowhere, said he doesn't want to go!! We are going 3 weeks into the school year and he is moving from elementary school into secondary school (grade 7) and he just doesn't want to miss a week so early into the year when he is still new there. I completely understand where he is coming from and don't know what to do. Flights are paid for, hotel is paid for (can be cancelled with a one night charge), and I bought the Halloween party tickets. I was thinking we would move the trip to the first week in December and I think I can handle to cost to change the flights and hotel but can I get my Halloween Party tickets refunded? What would you do?

 

[Happy 2 B Me]

Is there a way your oldest son can go for a weekend and then a day before or after? He would only miss one day of school that way. I commend his wanting to not miss out during a very busy time at school and then being in Jr. High to boot. Everything is workable. Just takes a few people giving ideas and thoughts. No matter have a fun time.

 

[DarthMole]

If the boy was younger, I'd say just go and he'll be fine, but seventh grade at a new school is tough. For starters, at this age it's hard to miss that much classroom instruction and still keep up. Even the smartest kids could struggle so the excuses used for the lower grades don't really apply in my opinion. Then there's the whole social aspect of middle school. I assume this is a school where several elementary schools funnel in, so there will be a lot of new faces and cliques to navigate. I remember middle school (not so fondly) and if my parents pulled me out for "Disneyland" I'm sure there would have been a few snickers directed my way. 12 & 13 year old kids can be cruel.

This is a very difficult one to figure out. If you do change things, how will your younger son handle it? Will he resent his older brother for "wrecking everything"? Boys!!! In the end, I would probably do what I can to reschedule the trip to a time when school is not in session. Good luck.

 

[lana772]

I also have a child starting 7th grade this year. I completely understand. We decided when we bought our APs this year that it was all about to change for us. No more skipping school. Both of my DDs are honor students (even with missing class time to DL every year), but Jr High starts a whole new world. We are taking a weekend trip in September then won't go back until Christmas break.

To answer your question honestly, I would either find a family member for him to stay with or postpone your trip until break. Keep school schedules on the top of your planning for future trips.
Don't feel bad leaving him at home. It is more common than you think. If you do decide to postpone call Disneyland and find out what your options are for your party tickets.

 

[disney is my life]

My DD felt the same way on our first trip to Florida in November 2011. She was just starting high school and was worried about it as well. It didn't help that the teachers in her elementary school kept telling her that even if you miss one day in high school you'll fall very behind your class (which was not true). I think after 3 weeks students are usually settled into the new school year and I think once he starts he might realize that. Although we took dd out 2 months after school started and not 3 weeks, I think it was worth it and she says she's glad we did it.

 

[Single_Mom]

Thank you all for your advice. I am so proud of him for making school a priority and I really want to do what is best for him so I am going to check my budget and see what we can do. Like I said earlier, I am considering moving the trip to the week after thanksgiving because he is okay with missing school (although he told me that "THIS IS THE LAST TIME MOM!!!!) but he just prefers not to miss school so close to the beginning when he is trying to learn new routines.

 

[Zbugz]

I personally would say go for the time you've planned, especially if it is costly to change. Can he get homework to take with him?

 

[DarthMole]

Six weeks of review? Maybe in 1st or 2nd grade, not in 7th.

Classroom instruction for a typical school year is less than 50% of a calendar year. That leaves over 50% of the year for life experiences with family.

 

[WTFetus]

In 10 years what will really matter? IMO life experiences with the family are more important than whatever they would've done in the classroom. Get the homework for him to work on during the plane ride and down times. Often the first six weeks are just review anyway.

I agree with this, but every kid is different. I commend him for not wanting to miss school (I would have loved to skip school when I was his age). I think for him, it's more about getting acquainted with new people rather than learning new material. Though really, you have plenty of time for both. First few weeks of elementary/middle/high school is nothing.

 

[rwhistler92]

I don't think you can get a refund on your Halloween Party tickets-

 

[Single_Mom]

I agree with this, but every kid is different. I commend him for not wanting to miss school (I would have loved to skip school when I was his age). I think for him, it's more about getting acquainted with new people rather than learning new material. Though really, you have plenty of time for both. First few weeks of elementary/middle/high school is nothing.

This is exactly what it is for him. He isn't worried about missing a week because he is very bright and they have missed a week of school in the past for Disney. With moving from elementary school it will be different schedules, going from one teacher to a bunch of different and new teachers, and so many new things and people. I understand where he is coming from and just want to make the transition as easy on him as possible.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Six weeks of review? Maybe in 1st or 2nd grade, not in 7th.

Right. Not all middle school classes start with any type of review at all. Seventh grade social studies covers ancient history. Eight grade social studies covers U.S History. There's no review involved before the teacher launches straight into the new subject. This is also true of electives, like Spanish. There's no review in a Spanish 1 class. You just jump in and start learning.

I have to commend a 7th grader for not wanting to miss a week of school. My DS just finished middle school and it moved very quickly for three years. We've been told by older kids that middle school in our district was more demanding in lots of ways than high school.

 

[rentayenta]

I feel you OP. My DS starts 7th grade this year and when planning our cruise, we knew he would miss 5 days of school so we chose the beginning of the second term which is over MLK Day, a holiday, so he'll miss only 4 days. He's a very good student but we wanted him to get a feel for how 7th grade works as opposed to elementary school.


Missing school is no longer an option for my daughters. They'll be in 11th and 9th.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

I don't think you can get a refund on your Halloween Party tickets-

Not be be Debbie Downer, but I think rwhistler is correct. MHP tickets are non-refundable and non-transferrable. The OP should contact Disney Guest Services anyway, explain the situation, and see what Disney can do for her. Disney decides about refunds on a case by case basis. If they refund the ticket, great. If not, perhaps the ticket can be gifted/donated to someone who really wants to attend the party but cannot afford to do so.

 

[Elk Grove Chris]

We have taken our kids out at various times because we know they can handle the extra load of missing class time. You know your kids best, if he thinks he would rather stay for school, he can probably make the work up on his own, but you probably already have a grasp of that.

I like the idea of bookending a weekend if you can swing it, so he only misses 2-3 days. We have had our son do this to meet me when I was attending a conference down south several times. If you have someone who can drop him off and pick him up at the airport this may be a viable option. Again, your son sounds mature for his age, my youngest is also going to 7th grade and he flew alone when he was 10 with no issues.

 

[Zbugz]

My edit of my post just missed getting two comments about it. I stand corrected.

 

[TheLanes]

I think three weeks in should be okay. The first of second week is when all friendships are formed, when the bullies single out who their targets are, who the cool kids decide who they will hang with. By that third week he will already be classified, missing that week won't hurt him socially.

 

[rwhistler92]

Would he feel better if he asked teachers for assignments to do while you are gone? If you decide to still go in Oct. talk to his teachers the week before to see if he can start making things up before you leave-
I know it is hard for kids his age to miss school, but DL at Halloween is pretty great-

 

[Freesia123]

I have no idea on policies at his school, but ours is that kids make up work AFTER vacation. They can give a general guideline of what will be missed, but often lesson plans change. Sometimes you go faster, sonetimes slower depending on how well concepts are grasped. i have had more than one parent lay into me when work changed and their kids had to do extra. In fact, I had one parent key my car after I explained that we had gotten through material faster than expected. (Not that you would but there are crazies out there!) Add to it that, I have 320 students. although one might think, it's no big deal to prepare work in advance, it takes a good fifteen minutes. Multiple that by about fifty requests a year and it adds up. So instead, we put it aside for them as its seen and give them a reasonable time to catch up. They can then sit in on extra help clinics to get help and instruction that they missed.

 

[Disney Dreams]

I like the suggestion of maybe shifting the trip by a few days if possible. Give it a try to see if that can work.

I think three weeks in should be okay. The first of second week is when all friendships are formed, when the bullies single out who their targets are, who the cool kids decide who they will hang with. By that third week he will already be classified, missing that week won't hurt him socially.

Wow. In one sentence you made me realize again why I hated high school so much.

- Dreams