Is Facebook too Pervasive and Important?

[ckay87]

Facebook is like having Jerry Springer 24/7.

It's really not.

If you associate with people like that, maybe. But I, for one, do not.

 

[LukenDC]

I like Facebook because it is a way to connect with old friends and to keep in close, almost daily, contact with friends and family. I feel like I am "in the loop" when I am on Facebook.

That said, Facebook, like any other online medium, needs to be used responsibly. People should be very careful about what they post online. I never post anything that I would not want the whole world to see and assume that my posted content is public even though I use privacy controls that limit the visibility of my posts to my friends.

I don't have any children, so feel free to take the following opinion with a grain of salt. I don't believe that kids should have a Facebook page. There are too many opportunities for mischief and sometimes real danger. I also don't believe that kids should use the Internet without adult supervision.

My mother takes an active interest in my Facebook activities and I'm 37 years old. She has confronted people online who have publicly disagreed with me in a posting. She want to know how I met certain people on my friends list. Most recently, she cruised my friends list for handsome men and then asked me if they had equally goodlooking, straight, single daddies. LOL Mom's a character.

 

[FireDancer]

A student's world can be quite small. The victim could choose not to read bullyish statements, but many more students can read those comments and participate. It can be talked about at school and escalate.

At that point, and only that point, the bullying would no longer be cyper bullying and should be dealt with as bullying at school.

Schools, IMO, should not get involved one iota in anything that happens outside of their walls. That is for parents only, full stop. If something that starts outside of their walls spreads inside then only the portion that spreads inside should be dealt with inside. For example, if two kids get in a fight at the city park on Saturday that is none of the school's business. If the same two kids get in another fight in the lunchroom at school, then the school can hand out a punishment for fighting at school.

I can't believe how parents have let the schools get involved in things that they have no business being involved in, online communication of any sort (Facebook "bullying" included) is just one example.

 

[luvsJack]

Well, lets see;

I have one friend that the only time she posts something is when she is bragging about where she is going or what she has bought. She pretty much does the samething in real life. She is a walking jewelry store, everything she owns has the brand boldly printed so that everyone can see, and her Christmas cards always include picture from everywhere she went that year. We all know this about her and just "like" and say "oh, how great!"

DD has dealt with a couple of bullies. They are now blocked from her page, my page and her bff's page as are their parents and anyone that is kin to them or friends of the family. They were reported. They no longer bother her on facebook but have tried to IRL--reported to the school, handled, all is well now. Facebook didn't really make or break the situation.

I would say, from my experience, that people are pretty much as they are. Facebook just gives an alternative way to do what they were already doing.

Most of my friends just post interesting little things that are going on in their world and the rest of us comment and just communicate. Its great because these are people I haven't seen in years but am now talking to daily.

The over whelming majority of dd's friends just post little things about what is going on in their day, weekend, world. They make plans and find out what everyone else is doing. Not a whole lot different than texting each other.

So for the most part, I think it IS used correctly. No matter what you will always have the few bad apples that either ruin the whole thing or make it seem bad.

 

[luvmy3]

I think they were already bred. Facebook is simply giving them a forum.

That said, I like Facebook. I don't use it much. But I have a few friends who do and they give me wonderful tidbits of information.

I disagree, while it makes it easier for those who were already like that, it really has taught a new generation that everyone "wants" or "deserves" to know every single detail about you, your life, your thoughts, your likes, dislikes, things that really should be private, etc. I have seen it happen to people who were never like that and oddly enough I know people who are like that who avoid FB, but I assume its because they don't want to compete with everyone else

I'm not saying that everyone that uses FB is like that, but you can't ignore that there are ALOT of people on there like that. And as far as the younger generation, ask yourself, would they be like that without FB or has FB made them that way because its accepted there. I'm sure we'll see reseach on that soon enough

 

[bicker]

I think pinning anything, in this case, on Facebook is missing the point. The point here is bullying. If it weren't for Facebook, some other mechanism would likely have been utilized. Beyond that, it is possible that via that other mechanism, the bullying may not have been discovered as readily, or be as provable, as Facebook made it.

Facebook is a very common target for complaints these days: People seem to enjoy attacking things that are big or unknown (or both), especially if they personally don't have control over those things. It's part of our society's burgeoning Culture of Complaint, something which I think is far more damaging to society than Facebook is.

 

[bicker]

I think FB is breeding a generation of self important attention seekers.

I'm not sure how Facebook does that any more than the DISboards Community Board.

The difference is facebook is a medium that allows the user to in some form "disconnect" from the reprecussions.

Clearly that's not the case. Otherwise, we wouldn't have heard anything about this.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think FB is a good medium for keeping in touch with people in a relatively easy manner.

I think it has the possibility, for some people, to become all consuming.

I think that all these electronic mediums have become somewhat of a way for people to think they are "connecting" when in fact they aren't Emoticons don't replace actual face-to-face conversation where one can hear tone of voice, inflection, see facial expressions etc. We are more "in touch" than ever, with the majority of people being reachable 24/7 as if we were all so very important that we NEEDED to be reached 24/7. And yet we don't "interact" as well. We have become slaves to our Blackberries and iPods and their little dinging and vibration.

Does FB make someone into a bully? No, I don't think so. I htink it gives someone who is a bully one more way to bully. I also think that for some people, they are more willing to say things on the internet that they wouldn't have the nerve to say in real life.

The other danger I see in something liek FB is the constant updating of every move you make. There are people who do that throughout the day. Teenagers especially...I have some teens as FB friends and I practically know when they have used the bathroom! Now, I am not stalking these kids nor am I a slimy pedophile, but what if someone who is watching them somehow is??? This person could know where they are going, when, with whom, who's driving, what time they will be picked up etc. My DH's cousin's family went with us on a WDW trip in January. The 2 girls psoted almost daily about how xcited they were about their trip in 5, 4 ,3, 2, 1 day. They posted numerous times from the trip. They basically gave any criminal all the informaiton he/she would have needed to rob their house.

 

[luvsJack]

At that point, and only that point, the bullying would no longer be cyper bullying and should be dealt with as bullying at school.

Schools, IMO, should not get involved one iota in anything that happens outside of their walls. That is for parents only, full stop. If something that starts outside of their walls spreads inside then only the portion that spreads inside should be dealt with inside. For example, if two kids get in a fight at the city park on Saturday that is none of the school's business. If the same two kids get in another fight in the lunchroom at school, then the school can hand out a punishment for fighting at school.

I can't believe how parents have let the schools get involved in things that they have no business being involved in, online communication of any sort (Facebook "bullying" included) is just one example.

If bullying is going on outside their walls, it will go on inside their walls. Knowing about something ahead of time goes a long, long way in prevention.

If a threat is made from one kid to another on Facebook, then YES the school needs to know. The kid can't physically harm the other over the internet, but they certainly can in school.

We had a child expelled this year because the mother would not even discuss the threats the girl had made on facebook to other kids. Three weeks into the school year, that same child was arrested for assualt on another child. This could have easily happened at our school, but because they took action on something that you believe to be "none of their business", it did not. Sadly, if her mother had taken action the other kid may not have been assualted.

It would be great if parents handled the problems their children have, but too many do not. In a perfect world the parent of a kid that was threatened could have called the parent of the one doing the threatening and straightened the whole mess out. That is not the world we live in.

If two kids get into a fight on Saturday at the park, the school NEEDS to be made aware of it so that rather than punishing for the fight in the lunchroom; they can prevent it. Besides, sometimes a talk from the principal and maybe even campus security will go further than a talk/punishment from mom and dad. Prevention keeps kids from getting hurt.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm not sure how Facebook does that any more than the DISboards Community Board.

I don't totally disagree

 

[mhsjax]

I think FB is breeding a generation of self important attention seekers.

Oh wow, I think that is the best thing I had heard in a very long time. I glad you had the guts to say it.

 

[NMAmy]

Facebook is like having Jerry Springer 24/7.

Rats. I must be doing it wrong.

Honestly, I think Facebook is like any other form of technology. It can be misused but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have advantages.

 

[EMom]

I think FB is breeding a generation of self important attention seekers.

I have called one relative's FB page a "Christmas newsletter on steroids." I don't do FB, but my DSis does and she will call me and alert me to the latest outrageous thing Relative has posted. It usually starts with, "Are you sitting down?" or "You are not going to believe this one." When I'm at DSis's house, I look at Relative's FB page.....while I am sitting down.

Every freaking thing she posts in an exercise in putting on airs. Everything is bigger, grander, more impressive, more amazing by 10 times over than it truly is in reality. (Christmas newsletter on steroids) She could morph an overnight stay at a Motel 6 into a 3 week tour of Europe. But the thing is, most people who read her page are people who know her and are aware that her.....embellishments....are a load of crap. So I cannot figure out who she's trying to convince. Is it some new, uninformed person she's met or is she trying to convince herself?

 

[DawnCt1]

I like Facebook because it is a way to connect with old friends and to keep in close, almost daily, contact with friends and family. I feel like I am "in the loop" when I am on Facebook.

That said, Facebook, like any other online medium, needs to be used responsibly. People should be very careful about what they post online. I never post anything that I would not want the whole world to see and assume that my posted content is public even though I use privacy controls that limit the visibility of my posts to my friends.

I don't have any children, so feel free to take the following opinion with a grain of salt. I don't believe that kids should have a Facebook page. There are too many opportunities for mischief and sometimes real danger. I also don't believe that kids should use the Internet without adult supervision.

My mother takes an active interest in my Facebook activities and I'm 37 years old. She has confronted people online who have publicly disagreed with me in a posting. She want to know how I met certain people on my friends list. Most recently, she cruised my friends list for handsome men and then asked me if they had equally goodlooking, straight, single daddies. LOL Mom's a character.

I definitely agree with you with regard to children. I think that the internet is an adult world and leaves a lot of young children vulnerable to bullies and strangers. Your mom loves you!

 

[eliza61]

The nice thing about Facebook is you can block anyone. Lets say John is writing bad things about Sue on Facebook. Well, Sue can block John from writing on her wall and she can not go read his wall. If they are Facebook friends he can be unfriended quite easily. As long as it isn't libelous why would Sue care what John is writing on his wall if Sue doesn't go and read it.




.

Because teens want to be popular and they do care what is said about them. Remember you are an adult you've learned those skills. The average kid not so much (yeah, I realize every one here was a self assured teen, plowing through h.s. without drama but I assure you that's not reality)

Sue may not read it but some one in the school will and believe me, Sue will hear about it.

 

[GeorgeG]

It's really not.

If you associate with people like that, maybe. But I, for one, do not.

I know a lot of people with different personalities. I use facebook to keep up with friends and family, but it does get weird at times.

 

[FireDancer]

Because teens want to be popular and they do care what is said about them. Remember you are an adult you've learned those skills. The average kid not so much (yeah, I realize every one here was a self assured teen, plowing through h.s. without drama but I assure you that's not reality)

Sue may not read it but some one in the school will and believe me, Sue will hear about it.

We were taught at a young age that the only person who's opinion about you matters is you. Despite your attempt at sarcasm yes, I really didn't care if someone didn't like me when I was 13 (the minimum age for Facebook) in the same exact way I don't care now.

Confidence and self-esteem are learned traits but they can and should be learned way before you are 13.

 

[pigletgirl]

I have found that it is the young mothers with little kids who use and abuse it daily. I am friends with some of them, and I'm always wondering, when in the world do they have time to care for their kids, clean the house, ect.

On my facebook page, I never did place a relationship status. If you don't know of my engagement, you obviously don't know me well enough. I just don't feel changing it until I'm married (and my last name changes legally).

And maybe I'm naive, but I havent really run into 'facebook drama'....maybe everyone my age is too busy?

 

[palavra]

The difference is facebook is a medium that allows the user to in some form "disconnect" from the reprecussions. Children who bully in school run the risk of being "discovered" by teachers or other adults. Facebook (and computers) offer a type of isolation which in itself empowers the bully.
Why do you think the computer is such an awesome tool for criminals and rip off artist in general? because it's a tool that makes it very easy for the criminal or bully to get away whatever wrong doing they are committing.

Remember, the situation op is referring to involves young kids. Sure you guys know the dangers of social pages and web information. A 12 year old who doesn't realize that those fb postings are not her best friend but instead some classmates playing a trick on her, is not "creating" drama, it's very real to her and to just assume she would "have drama" in her life regardless is seriously incorrect.

Cyber bullying is not new, and Facebook is certainly not required for these bullies. Sending threatening emails and IM's have been going on for years. Students have also been bullied through chat rooms and private websites.

 

[ford family]

We were taught at a young age that the only person who's opinion about you matters is you. Despite your attempt at sarcasm yes, I really didn't care if someone didn't like me when I was 13 (the minimum age for Facebook) in the same exact way I don't care now.

Confidence and self-esteem are learned traits but they can and should be learned way before you are 13.

Yes, you definitely don't have children and it shows.

ford family