Is compulsive lying an illness?

[ez]

We have a friend who I really believe is a compulsive liar I really wonder how much of what he says he believes himself. At times these lies effect others because he "promises" them things that he won't/ can't deliver. I think his lies have to do with low self esteem, but also I think there is a degree of mental illness going on. Thoughts on this?

 

[NotUrsula]

If it's truly compulsive, yes. If it's just what he prefers to do in order to avoid conflict, then no. If all the lies are about "promises" then it is likely that he is just really conflict-averse.

True compulsive liars lie about EVERYTHING. They will tell you that their parents did something else for a living than what they really did, or that someone is dead who is very much alive. They will lie about what they had for breakfast and what their favorite color is, even.

 

[dodukes]

Agree with above PP. I think real compulsive liars do have a "sickness". I think it is beyond their control.

But most other people just lie..lol.

 

[happybratpack]

If it's truly compulsive, yes. If it's just what he prefers to do in order to avoid conflict, then no. If all the lies are about "promises" then it is likely that he is just really conflict-averse.

True compulsive liars lie about EVERYTHING. They will tell you that their parents did something else for a living than what they really did, or that someone is dead who is very much alive. They will lie about what they had for breakfast and what their favorite color is, even.

ITA. My last relationship was with a compulsive liar. Another thing is that they'll lie even though they know if there are dire consequences if caught.

 

[teacherforhi]

I just had a meeting yesterday with a mental health counselor who used the word 'psychosis' when referring to a patient that was a compulsive liar. In this case, it seems the patient truly believes the lies and cannot distinguish between the lies and the truth.

 

[sweetpeakaris]

I just had a meeting yesterday with a mental health counselor who used the word 'psychosis' when referring to a patient that was a compulsive liar. In this case, it seems the patient truly believes the lies and cannot distinguish between the lies and the truth.

I have a teen DD who is a compulsive liar, she is in treatment, but boy is it tuff to deal with a person that lies all the time & truely believes themselves. It can be a form of a mental illness, but not in all cases.

Have you ever thought of calling your friend out on what you believe are lies?

 

[binny]

I have a relative who does this. He has lied to everyone for so long that he believes all of it himself. He has what I call a "victim complex" nothing as ever been his fault and anything bad that has happened to has been due to someone elses actions.


The thing I dont understand is why they lie even when it doesnt matter. He lies for even the smallest things I really dont get it. I do think its a mental issue.

 

[PatsGirl]

My very long time ago exH was a compulsive liar. When we were engaged he told me all kind of family stories that turned out to be false. He would swear to my face that the sky was green and truly believe it. We did some short-term counseling and he was diagnosed compulsive. Short-lived marriage (15 months) but until just two years ago I dealt with him on a regular basis because we share a child. It has been difficult for DS to have a Dad that, because of his compulsive lying, eventually ended up jobless and friendless, only his immediate relatives speak to him at this point

 

[castleview]

I have no idea what the clinical definition of compulsive lying is. But I think once you tell one lie, it makes it easier to tell another lie. I do believe that lying and cheating masks a total dissatisfaction with one's life, though.

 

[sunnyday123]

There are compulsive liars, who I think have some sort of mental illness, then there are just the plain 'old muckety muck liars. Like my ex-husband. You could stand in the rain and he'd argue with you over how sunny he thought it was. He lied about where he went to school, was born, you name it, he lied.

He still does it to this day-he lies about his job, what his house looks like, etc. He lies to his girl-friends, friends, family and DD. So much so his Mother has told him she believes me over him, and if she needs to know something she'll call me or ask DD.

DD also knows he lies and won't listen to a word he says. It's sad. I think his issue is self-esteem and wanting to be the best.

 

[wilderness01]

I had to cut a very long friendship due to compulsive lying. She lived away for a period of time, so it didn't bother me as much. She has been back here now for the last few years and the lying was so out of control, that I had to end our friendship. I think it is so insulting to lie over and over and over again. It is also stressful and became more than I could tolerate.

 

[DawnCt1]

I don't think that it is a "disease entity", as in the DSM IV, but a symptom of a wide variety of mental health issues and personality disorders.

 

[Chelley00]

I have a relative who does this. He has lied to everyone for so long that he believes all of it himself. He has what I call a "victim complex" nothing as ever been his fault and anything bad that has happened to has been due to someone elses actions.


The thing I dont understand is why they lie even when it doesnt matter. He lies for even the smallest things I really dont get it. I do think its a mental issue.

OMG you must be related to my father. He is a total pathological, compulsive liar. One reason why we no longer have a relationship is because of lies he told people about himself, and then when I called him on it, he told elaborate lies about me. I seriously think he spends all his free time weaving elaborate stories in his head. We all really wonder if he's lied so much he believes the things he has said. Some of it is probably just to get attention, some of it is to get himself out of trouble for stuff.

He had a stroke 15 years ago, and the lying has gotten so much worse it's unreal. We know there is a level of mental illness there (bipolar) but he refuses to acknowledge he's ever in the wrong, as does stepmom who doesn't see it because she lies right along with him

 

[helloirishkitty]

Short answer, yes. My mother is a compulsive liar. It has made my life very difficult, and she is in therapy for it.

 

[emdav]

If it's truly compulsive, yes. If it's just what he prefers to do in order to avoid conflict, then no. If all the lies are about "promises" then it is likely that he is just really conflict-averse.

True compulsive liars lie about EVERYTHING. They will tell you that their parents did something else for a living than what they really did, or that someone is dead who is very much alive. They will lie about what they had for breakfast and what their favorite color is, even.

I'm laughing at your breakfast example. I had a foster brother who was a compulsive liar. He always lied about what he ate for breakfast.

 

[jazzielady]

I have a relative who does this. He has lied to everyone for so long that he believes all of it himself. He has what I call a "victim complex" nothing as ever been his fault and anything bad that has happened to has been due to someone elses actions.


The thing I dont understand is why they lie even when it doesnt matter. He lies for even the smallest things I really dont get it. I do think its a mental issue.

I know someone exactly like that.

 

[kellyg403]

I do think it is part of some pyschosis or mental illness. What I never understand is why lie about the little stuff, the big stuff, any stuff ALL THE TIME. And I do think they honestly believe what they say. I have called out my sdd about a few lies and wow, is all I can say. She gets so vehement that is the truth, so sure that I/her dad are the ones that aren't telling the truth that it really honestly does no good to even mention that whatever lie is impossible.

Its like another posted, I could literally watch her eat poptarts for breakfast but 2 hours later she will tell me that she cooked herself pancakes and sausage, she left the room, came back, one of the other kids ate everything and she had to clean up the mess and there was syrup everywhere etc. All the while knowing I was sitting right at the island, reading the paper when she came down, opened the fridge and got out the milk. It actually and truly is strange. She is 28 yo and does not think there is a problem. It really and truly has to be symptomatic of a true mental illness.

Kelly

 

[Acklander]

I have no idea what the clinical definition of compulsive lying is. But I think once you tell one lie, it makes it easier to tell another lie. I do believe that lying and cheating masks a total dissatisfaction with one's life, though.

This is totally different than someone who is a pathalogical liar.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I don't think that it is a "disease entity", as in the DSM IV, but a symptom of a wide variety of mental health issues and personality disorders.

And I know several people who are "frequent liars," but I wouldn't call them "complusive liars." I think their's is a learned behavior, probably from early childhood.

 

[telescope]

My sister's ex boyfriend was a compulsive liar and I believe it is a disease. It got to the point where I didn't know when he was being truthful. He'd lie about stupid things. Around christmas he went and stayed down with his parents for a few days. When he got back we asked him how it was and he explain how he saw all of his family and played football with his uncles and got all these neat gadgets for christmas. When I would ask to see one of these 'gadgets' he'd say they're in the car but he can't find his keys..or it's upstairs in his sock drawer but lost it. He'd lie about little things like that that really didn't need to be lied about. It got to the point where our stuff was starting to go missing and we'd ask him and he'd look all concerned and tell us he doesn't know where anything went. He eventually got arrested for stealing my sister's identity and wiping out her and my mother's bank accounts. When he was in jail we were looking through the garage and way in the corner under all of his belongings we found MOUNDS of our stuff. CD's, brushes, game controllers, toothpaste, shoes. Pointless little things. He also had a beautiful son with my sisterbefore we noticed he was a compulsive liar. Turns out while he was staying with my sister he also got two other women pregnant. I believe being a compulsive liar is a disease because a lot of the time they don't believe they are a compulsive liar and refuse the treatment resulting in more extreme actions like the ones I explained above.