I was always taught that when receiving a wedding invitation when you are single, the envelope will tell you whether you are receiving a plus one - i.e., if I receive an invitation addressed to "Ms. hlg22 and Guest", then I am invited to bring a guest. On the other hand, if I receive an invitation addressed solely to "Ms. hlg22", then the invitation is extended to me alone. I also thought this was pretty much common sense.
So my sister is getting married next month. She is very stressed with wedding planning, and they are on a tight budget and also (obviously) have a limit on guests at the venue, so they were not able to extend "plus one" invites to guests who are single and not seriously dating anyone. Invitations have gone out, and they've now had three people so far who did not receive a plus one but have rsvp'd for themselves and a guest. One person who did this is actually a close friend of mine, who rsvp'd for herself and her roommate (platonic, not dating, my sister and her fiance have never met him). When gently told that the invite was just for her, she said "oops, sorry, my etiquette fail," and I thought it was over, but then found out that she had texted my sister to say that her roommate really wanted to come (to the wedding of people he's never met?!?!?) and would sit outside the tent and not eat (??? As if my sister would allow that). So now my sister feels bad, like she's disinviting someone, when he was never even invited in the first place! They had another guest rsvp for a plus one who has already booked airfare and hotel for them both, so she doesn't really feel like there's anything they can do about that. They will be able to squeeze these few in if they have to but if they get many more it will be a problem, and it is taking away from a few additional people that they would like to invite if they have space - coworker friends, etc. Are people really that clueless about etiquette, or do they just figure that the hosts/bride and groom won't tell them "no?" I am floored, and feel sorry for my poor sister who is calling me to vent but is too nice to decisively tell these people that they can't just add whoever they want on to their invitations!
So my sister is getting married next month. She is very stressed with wedding planning, and they are on a tight budget and also (obviously) have a limit on guests at the venue, so they were not able to extend "plus one" invites to guests who are single and not seriously dating anyone. Invitations have gone out, and they've now had three people so far who did not receive a plus one but have rsvp'd for themselves and a guest. One person who did this is actually a close friend of mine, who rsvp'd for herself and her roommate (platonic, not dating, my sister and her fiance have never met him). When gently told that the invite was just for her, she said "oops, sorry, my etiquette fail," and I thought it was over, but then found out that she had texted my sister to say that her roommate really wanted to come (to the wedding of people he's never met?!?!?) and would sit outside the tent and not eat (??? As if my sister would allow that). So now my sister feels bad, like she's disinviting someone, when he was never even invited in the first place! They had another guest rsvp for a plus one who has already booked airfare and hotel for them both, so she doesn't really feel like there's anything they can do about that. They will be able to squeeze these few in if they have to but if they get many more it will be a problem, and it is taking away from a few additional people that they would like to invite if they have space - coworker friends, etc. Are people really that clueless about etiquette, or do they just figure that the hosts/bride and groom won't tell them "no?" I am floored, and feel sorry for my poor sister who is calling me to vent but is too nice to decisively tell these people that they can't just add whoever they want on to their invitations!
While I certainly can understand your sister's dilemma as far as expenses go I think she should have made better accommodations for the single people she invited. Not everyone is comfortable going to a function like a wedding alone. I know that if I was single I could never go to one (outside of the family) by myself. When I got married my one single friend brought a date with her whom I had never met. So what, I was happy knowing that she was having a much better time with him there than if she had come alone, not knowing many people.
Nothing like spending $100 to feed a stranger so he wouldn't feel left out.
