Inviting family members and points vs. cash?

[WDWFERN]

Hi all. When inviting family members, do you usually try to use your points equally among all family members if you do a family trip? I am asking because thinking ahead, I have several siblings. Given our current points, while it is relatively easy for us to book an additional studio for my younger siblings who are not married yet, it is not as easy for us to also book my other sibling a 1 BR for his spouse and their children without significantly shortening the trip. I would, however, be happy to help them arrange cash reservations, ADRs, etc so we could all do things as a group and stay in the same place. In your experience, is this just a set up for family conflict, if we offer some siblings a room using our points, while another sibling would need to pay for their family's room? Just hoping to hear others experience with this as my planning wheels are turning......

 

[arthur06]

Hi all. When inviting family members, do you usually try to use your points equally among all family members if you do a family trip? I am asking because thinking ahead, I have several siblings. Given our current points, while it is relatively easy for us to book an additional studio for my younger siblings who are not married yet, it is not as easy for us to also book my other sibling a 1 BR for his spouse and their children without significantly shortening the trip. I would, however, be happy to help them arrange cash reservations, ADRs, etc so we could all do things as a group and stay in the same place. In your experience, is this just a set up for family conflict, if we offer some siblings a room using our points, while another sibling would need to pay for their family's room? Just hoping to hear others experience with this as my planning wheels are turning......

Seems like it might create problems. I don't know your family or there situations, but it could get tricky.

 

[Kidanifan08]

That's a tough one. We have taken my DW's sister's family of 5 and plan to take my brother's family of 5. We are able to do this in a 2 BR. I think I would try to keep it even, if possible. People who are not DVC members, don't understand the point system . . . they just understand free. I would either try to figure out a way to do it for free for both sibs, or don't do it at all.

You could always offer the same number of points to each of them and then the one with the larger family could decide if they want to rent additional points or move to a cash paid room for additional days. Your sib with the larger family may appreciate free lodging at Disney, even if it is a little shorter.

 

[Dizny Dad]

That's a tough one. . . . . People who are not DVC members, don't understand the point system . . . they just understand free. . . . . . . . . .

And the more family members get for free, the more they compare and complain! And just wait until you are blind sided some Christmas a few years later with the statements of how unfair you were with your generosity and how some are surprised at how you can live with yourself!

Been there, done that, never again.

Good luck to you!

 

[rlovew]

My suggestion on this one would be to price out the room/number of points you would need transfered and if you don't feel you can cover it then divide it by the people coming and ask each of them to contribute that much. It should still be considerably less than outright paying of the room for the one family (and since they are getting the 1 bedroom I would split it with their children as well since they will have the extra space).

 

[moredisneyplease]

All i'm going to say is GOOD LUCK!!!! I hope you dont have your heart broken too much during this process. Keep us posted!

**I guess I wouldnt use my cash but instead stick with points so this way you can adjust your reservations easier, bank points, rent points, etc when they bail out one at a time

 

[WDWFERN]

Thanks everyone for the thoughtful replies, I appreciate all the input and experience with this. It is a tricky one for me, as the trip would be harder to fund for my younger brothers as they are just starting out in their careers and they might not be able to go if we did not help with their room costs. My other brother and his wife are both blessed with great jobs, so really they could more readily afford thier family's lodging. But, I do worry it would look as though I was favoring some over others, when in reality, I just wanted to do the best we could to have everyone able to go if they wanted to for a fun sibling trip. I will crunch the numbers on my family sharing a two bedroom with the other family which probably will work point wise. I was hoping to have our own space for the trip, just to be able to unwind if need be, but in the end it is probably better to give up some privacy to avoid any possible hurt feelings. Let the planning continue!!

 

[ChickieToo]

Just food for thought: We are the siblings--on both sides of the family--that are "blessed". One my side, everyone is very considerate, and my parents were very careful to be fair. On my husband's side, not so much. The fact that everyone else gets help and they don't even factor us in because we can afford it has gotten really old. It's not that my husband begrudges his siblings per se, but everyone acts as if we hit the lottery, when in reality we just put the time in as younger adults and made the sacrifices (and still do) required to get ahead, where his siblings have always taken the easy way out. Easy to do when you have people ready to bail you out.

About 7 years ago we offered up points for DH's side to go to Disney. My MIL was all over it. DBIL and his wife have two kids, and even with the free rooms they weren't going to be able to swing it. Ditto for DSIL and her daughter. So my DMIL decides to save money and pay for everyone's airfare and give each family $1000 for spending money. Everyone except us of course. When my DMIL called to tell me about this she said, "you'd be going anyway, right? You don't mind!" My DH was so mad. DMIL put all airfares on her cc and we were supposed to pay her for our 3 tickets. DH instructed me in no uncertain terms not to write a check. He was very insulted.

Not that your story is as extreme, but just another POV. I would call your older brother and ask him what he thinks a good solution would be. Maybe dividing the cost of the extra room would work for everyone, and give younger bothers some skin in the game so they are less prone to cancel. Maybe giving up privacy to provide an "equal" gift of a room would be worth it. Maybe older DB would say he wouldn't care and he will buy his own room. Put it out there. But be honest, but gentle--don't just assume he'd be okay with being left out of the "free" DVC room.

 

[WDWFERN]

ChickieToo, I really appreciate your story, thank you for sharing it with me. I agree it is important to be equal for everyone. I wouldn't even have thought about having my oldest brother pay for his room this trip, however, a few years ago, on a prior family trip when he and his wife were just starting out, we did pay for some of their hotel costs (this was prior to our joining DVC) to help them come on a family trip with everyone and stay in the same hotel. So, I was contemplating this time around, if having them pay for their room would seem ok. But in the end, I keep coming back to wanting to do the same for everyone, especially after reading everyone's replies. So, after relooking at points, I think if I make the trip 5 nights, I have enough points to get a 1br for my immediate family and a separate studio for all 3 of my brothers, thus keeping the points I give them the same for everyone. I will let my oldest brother know that if he wishes to use his points instead for a 1 BR to give his family more space, that I willbe happy to book that for him, but that he may need to pay the cash rate (assuming it is available) for a couple nights to make up the difference. We have done several family trips in the past, and while everyone gets along really well, sometimes it is helpful to have some space at the end of the day, to unwind especailly after a long day in the parks. So I am hopeful this will work well and be fair for everyone! Thanks everyone for helping me think this through!!! I really apprecaite everyone's experiences and perspectives.

 

[ChickieToo]

WDWFERN, come back after you resolved this and let us know how this all works out.

 

[mellormousee]

Wow I always wanted siblings but after hearing your stories I'm happy to say thank God I'm an only child.