Invited to twins birthday- gift for both?

[teacups]

My dd is invited to her good friends bday party, who just happens to be a twin with a brother. Brother and my dd are not great friends, but the party is for both. I was thinking of a regular gift for the BF, and a small little something for the brother. Should I be sending "regular" gifts to both? I really dont want to spend $20 on the brother.... What is expected at twins birthday parties? (The invite says "you are invited to "both kids names" party).

 

[mjkacmom]

I'd get a gift for both, depending upon their ages. My twins were in the same class last year, and I invited the whole class, and they all gave gifts to both of them. My kids do attend parties for children who they're not very close with (like when a child of the opposite sex invites the whole class), and we always bring a gift when we attend.

 

[golfgal]

It is all over the board what kids do at twins birthday parties. We always invited kids to either DD's party or DS's party, even if they were joint parties. I never expected DD's friends to give DS a present, for example, though some did. I would get a gift for the girl and leave it at that. If the kids were a year apart would you consider getting the other one a gift? The twins have a few friends in common and generally those kids gave each one a gift--and we gave them a gift from each one of the twins.

 

[PatsGirl]

I would just get something much smaller for the brother, maybe in the $5 range. The invite states both kids names and that makes it difficult to determine which way to go on this...you didn't mention what age the kids were and that makes a big difference (to me anyways). If they are elementary school age a gift for both might be in order but if they are tween/teens then a gift just for the good friend is fine.

 

[teacups]

It is all over the board what kids do at twins birthday parties. We always invited kids to either DD's party or DS's party, even if they were joint parties. I never expected DD's friends to give DS a present, for example, though some did. I would get a gift for the girl and leave it at that. If the kids were a year apart would you consider getting the other one a gift? The twins have a few friends in common and generally those kids gave each one a gift--and we gave them a gift from each one of the twins.

If they were a year apart my daughter wouldnt even go to his party.
Its that kind of thing....

 

[crz4mm2]

If your DD's invite had both twins on it, I would get the same for both (well price wise).
If it was an invite to the BF's party, then just get her a gift.

Probably won't be the most popular opinion, but it's mine!

 

[teacups]

I'd get a gift for both, depending upon their ages. My twins were in the same class last year, and I invited the whole class, and they all gave gifts to both of them. My kids do attend parties for children who they're not very close with (like when a child of the opposite sex invites the whole class), and we always bring a gift when we attend.

Like a class of 25 kids? That's a lot of gifts. I usually spend about $20- $25... so that party would cost me over $40-$50.
I'm suddenly feeling like a cheap-o!

 

[anniemae]

I would buy the main gift for the twin that your child is friends with, then a smaller gift for the sibling, just as a nice gesture and recognition of both kid's brithdays.

 

[teacups]

12th birthday.

 

[mjkacmom]

Like a class of 25 kids? That's a lot of gifts. I usually spend about $20- $25... so that party would cost me over $40-$50.
I'm suddenly feeling like a cheap-o!

Our school has no classes over 20 kids, and most of the younger grades invite the whole class. This year, my twins are in different classes, so I will only put the name of one child on the invitations, unless both of them are friends (they have a lot of mutual friends at this point). Most people here also spend $20 to $25 on birthday gifts, and parties average $18 a head. One of the worst parts about having twins is getting double the gifts.

 

[TinkInPink]

I would get your DD's friend a gift. I would get the boy a card. I'm sure the boy has friends coming that aren't his sisters who won't be bringing her a gift, and vice versa.

 

[mjkacmom]

12th birthday.

Oh, then I'd get only a token gift for the boy. I'm surprised the mom put both names on the invitation - heck, I'm surprised they're having a joint party! I figure I only have a couple more years of getting away with it.

 

[teacups]

Our school has no classes over 20 kids, and most of the younger grades invite the whole class. This year, my twins are in different classes, so I will only put the name of one child on the invitations, unless both of them are friends (they have a lot of mutual friends at this point). Most people here also spend $20 to $25 on birthday gifts, and parties average $18 a head. One of the worst parts about having twins is getting double the gifts.

Wow. You are lucky with no classes over 20. We started homeschooling when my sons kindergarten class went over 32 kids with one teacher and one helper who basically ran copies and loaded backpacks. That same year my dd 3rd grade was 36 kids.

 

[lemondog]

If your DD's invite had both twins on it, I would get the same for both (well price wise).
If it was an invite to the BF's party, then just get her a gift.

Probably won't be the most popular opinion, but it's mine!

I am a mom of twins, and that's exactly how I would do it. If the invite came from both, then they both need to receive a gift. If the invite came from the girl only, then you only need to purchase a gift for the girl.

FWIW, my twins have always had the same friends, so they have always received 2 (usually identical or coordinating) gifts. However, this year in kindy they are separated, so I am letting each girl pick 2 or 3 friends from her class to invite, and the invite will come from only 1 of them, although it will be a combined party. So I would only expect a gift for the one from whom the invite comes, does that make sense?

ETA: Likewise if my girls are both invited to a party, I purchase 2 separate gifts, one from each girl, rather than a combined gift. It just seems more fair to me that way.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I would get your DD's friend a gift. I would get the boy a card. I'm sure the boy has friends coming that aren't his sisters who won't be bringing her a gift, and vice versa.

I agree!

These kids are 12! I remember going to a twins birthday at 12. They had a lot of the same friends, but I was only friends with one, and I was invited by her only. I think I gave the one (MY friend) a card with 12 in it...

I think these kids need some independance at age 12... a family together party is fine, but why can't the boy do a boy thing and the girl do a girl thing!

 

[TanyaLovesPooh]

I would get a gift for both. My nieces are twins and that is what birthday parties with friends have been like for them.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think these kids need some independance at age 12... a family together party is fine, but why can't the boy do a boy thing and the girl do a girl thing!

If you don't have twins, you probably won't understand...

Mine are turning 12 this year and we're doing a joint party, as we've always done. They share a lot of the same friends and having one party allows them to do something really fun with everyone. If the day comes when my kids want to do separate things, then we will. To each his own...

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My dd is invited to her good friends bday party, who just happens to be a twin with a brother. Brother and my dd are not great friends, but the party is for both. I was thinking of a regular gift for the BF, and a small little something for the brother. Should I be sending "regular" gifts to both? I really dont want to spend $20 on the brother.... What is expected at twins birthday parties? (The invite says "you are invited to "both kids names" party).

I think it's perfectly acceptable to just get a present for your DD's friend and not her brother.

I used to absentmindedly put both names on my twins invitations, but it wasn't that I was looking for extra gifts (as a pp mentioned, there are already too many ); it's just that, as a mother of only twins, I never thought of how it impacted others in gift giving. Alas, a Dis thread similar to this one opened my eyes and since then I've only put one child's name on each invitation.

The way it's worked since then is that families who don't know both my children very well get the one child a gift, but our closest friends get both children gifts, even though I've stressed they shouldn't. It works out in the end because I reciprocate when it comes time for their childrens' bdays (and again, this is only with close friends).

 

[golfgal]

If you don't have twins, you probably won't understand...

Mine are turning 12 this year and we're doing a joint party, as we've always done. They share a lot of the same friends and having one party allows them to do something really fun with everyone. If the day comes when my kids want to do separate things, then we will. To each his own...

I think having same sex twins is different then having b/g twins even. By 12 my twins no longer wanted joint parties. If someone had brought DD a gift at DS's party she would have thought that was strange. Our kids have a lot of the same friends and they are VERY, VERY close but they don't want to have joint birthday parties any longer.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

At 12 years old, I would have no qualms about only buying a gift for the girl.