invited to dinner for bday...how do we pay

[ez]

a good friends husband invited us to dinner for her bday today as a surprise, it will be her family, her parents, and my family. We will be getting there earlier as it is a surprise, would it be ok when we get there is we tell whomever that we would like to be on a separate check, I dont want the hubby to pay for us but dont want it to be awkward at check time either and dont want to offend anybody...thanks.

 

[Art 1]

It would be fine to ask for a separate bill.

 

[happygirl]

a good friends husband invited us to dinner for her bday today as a surprise, it will be her family, her parents, and my family. We will be getting there earlier as it is a surprise, would it be ok when we get there is we tell whomever that we would like to be on a separate check, I dont want the hubby to pay for us but dont want it to be awkward at check time either and dont want to offend anybody...thanks.

Since you were invited I'm going to assume they were going to pay, I'm not really sure how to handle that

 

[Art 1]

Since you were invited I'm going to assume they were going to pay, I'm not really sure how to handle that

I'm sure that they are going to pay as well but the OP doesn't want them to pay for her.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would do as you mentioned, and ask the server to see that you get a separate check....

Since you were invited I'm going to assume they were going to pay, I'm not really sure how to handle that

No, I would not make that assumption.
Unless they have made it clear that they are covering it and are the kind who like to insist on paying... And, you said that you would prefer to go ahead and pay so that they would not have to.

I do not think asking if one wants to go out to dinner is the same as a planned 'event'.... Around here, many would simply not easily be able to swing the check for that number of people. Perhaps they are planning on providing birthday dessert, a round of drinks, etc.... But I would not be counting on a free ride.

If it is, say, a planned pizza party... or an event at a room or church or whatever, yes, I would say the planners have taken on the responsibility for planning and providing the food. I would not think "We would love it if you could meet us at XXXXXX restaurant" means they are necessarily picking up the check.

 

[shortbun]

I would ask for a separate check from the waiter. I wouldn't put the host in the position of having to discuss it.

 

[happygirl]

I'm sure that they are going to pay as well but the OP doesn't want them to pay for her.

If anything I would tell the server you want the bill for the b-day girl and of course your own.


I know OP doesn't want them to pay, but I feel like if she does then it going to offend the her friends hubby

 

[happygirl]

I would do as you mentioned, and ask the server to see that you get a separate check....


No, I would not make that assumption.
Unless they have made it clear that they are covering it and are the kind who like to insist on paying... And, you said that you would prefer to go ahead and pay so that they would not have to.

I think asking if one wants to go out to dinner is different than a planned 'event'.... Around here, many would simply not easily be able to swing the check for that number of people. Perhaps they are planning on providing birthday dessert, a round of drinks, etc.... But I would not be counting on a free ride.

If it is, say, a planned pizza party... an event at a room or church or whatever, yes, I would say the planners have taken on the responsibility for planning and providing the food. I would not think "We would love it if you could meet us at XXXXXX restaurant" means they are necessarily picking up the check.

I guess I'm on an a odd ball, If I invite friends out for dinner, I pay

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I would do as you mentioned, and ask the server to see that you get a separate check....


No, I would not make that assumption.
Unless they have made it clear that they are covering it and are the kind who like to insist on paying... And, you said that you would prefer to go ahead and pay so that they would not have to.

I do not think asking if one wants to go out to dinner is the same as a planned 'event'.... Around here, many would simply not easily be able to swing the check for that number of people. Perhaps they are planning on providing birthday dessert, a round of drinks, etc.... But I would not be counting on a free ride.

If it is, say, a planned pizza party... or an event at a room or church or whatever, yes, I would say the planners have taken on the responsibility for planning and providing the food. I would not think "We would love it if you could meet us at XXXXXX restaurant" means they are necessarily picking up the check.

That is terrible! Where do you live that when you are invited to surprise dinner that you have to pay?

Whoever invites pays.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I guess I'm on an a odd ball, If I invite friends out for dinner, I pay

You're not an odd ball, I pay if I invite as well... especially this kind of situation. If it was something like meeting up with friends, then I wouldn't pay.

 

[Kellydelly]

If anything I would tell the server you want the bill for the b-day girl and of course your own.
I know OP doesn't want them to pay, but I feel like if she does then it going to offend the her friends hubby

Well that could be awkward, as there are so many other people eating at the table too. I would just go, assume they are paying, but have change to pay your portion if you find it necessary.

 

[Hannathy]

so if a group of friends go out for a friends dinner who ever made the calls has to pay!!!

Wow we never would get together with friends then. We all just pay for ourselves. If it is a planned party maybe BUT just a birthday dinner then every couple pays their own bill I would never assume a dinner at a restaurant was being paid for me if someone said we are going out to dinner for Sally's birthday want to come.


Now my sister has a close group of friends that do a lot together think 3 couples and they have an interesting custom. In their group who evers birthday it is PAYS for everyones dinner BUT they also get to pick where.
so it keeps them from feeling awkward and worried about how much it costs other people and you get to eat where you want for your birthday.

 

[happygirl]

so if a group of friends go out for a friends dinner who ever made the calls has to pay!!!

Wow we never would get together with friends then. We all just pay for ourselves. If it is a planned party maybe BUT just a birthday dinner then every couple pays their own bill I would never assume a dinner at a restaurant was being paid for me if someone said we are going out to dinner for Sally's birthday want to come.


Now my sister has a close group of friends that do a lot together think 3 couples and they have an interesting custom. In their group who evers birthday it is PAYS for everyones dinner BUT they also get to pick where.
so it keeps them from feeling awkward and worried about how much it costs other people and you get to eat where you want for your birthday.

There is a HUGE difference between what you are describing then what the OP is doing

 

[SpecialK]

If anything I would tell the server you want the bill for the b-day girl and of course your own.


I know OP doesn't want them to pay, but I feel like if she does then it going to offend the her friends hubby

I agree.

 

[SandrA9810]

Just make a statement when the waiter comes over to you for your order, that these two will be separate. That way you're not shouting it over the table or making a big fuss over it. If the husband says "it's ok, I've got it", just hand him an amount of cash that would equal to your share and tell him to pick up something nice on the way home. Or order a nice bottle of wine for the party to share.

He's more than likely picking up the tab for the parent's as it is.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I would not say anything in advance. When the bill comes, offer to pay your share. If the husband says it is his treat, let him pay and thank him.

 

[Polyluvr]

I would not say anything in advance. When the bill comes, offer to pay your share. If the husband says it is his treat, let him pay and thank him.

This


And I have to say; last year for my Bday, my DH invited people out for my Bday dinner~ and of course he paid for everyone.

If they are inviting you share in a special meal~ they are paying; at least that's how I was raised.

 

[LuvLDM]

I would not say anything in advance. When the bill comes, offer to pay your share. If the husband says it is his treat, let him pay and thank him.