Interacting w/ someone who doesn't like you...

[northcapemaymom]

I was wondering if you fine folks could give me some advice. I occasionally have to be in social situations (husband's work get-togethers, baby showers, etc) with a woman that I know does not care for me at all. The ironic thing is that we do not know each other well, but apparently she had made up her mind about her opinion of me. I've tried to just be polite and try to avoid her as much as possible, but in some small gatherings I feel extremely uncomfortable because the looks and body language I get from this woman can be just plain rude. I know just to keep my mouth shut or politely smile (she turns away if I do) and enjoy the other people around me, but this behavior is starting to get old.

Part of me wants to say "What the heck is wrong with you?" or "Do we have a problem here?" but I know that won't get me anywhere. And it's tiring trying to stay away from this person when I know due to space or mutual acquaintenances that we have to interact. What's even "funnier" is that our husbands will be working on the same shift at work. Small world, eh?

Have any of you been in the same social scenarios? I'm aware that people are not liked by everyone they meet. I'm not sure whether to continue what I'm doing, or just start getting creative (with humor, of course) with my interactions with her - 'cause I know I'll be seeing this woman at various functions in the future. Do you eventually "lose it" on someone or just blow them off? Thanks for listening.....

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Southern women have the gift of acting like they like someone even if they can't stand them. Act like you have NO idea this woman doesn't care for you. Make it a point to be nice to her - seek her out and strike up a conversation with her about mutual interests - ask about her kids, her DH, her vacation, etc... Be sweet as sugar to her. She will feel like a HEEL for disliking you for no reason.

Good luck!

 

[annegal]

Good advice Clarabelle!

 

[ilovejack02]

I would just smile and be sweet as pie. In the end she is the one that will look like a Jack a$$. I know it gets old but try not to be uncomfortable, just take the high road. If you do catch her when no one is around, I prob would say something like are you upset with me? But if you do it in public, she will just say you seem paranoid. If you are in a group and have to speak to her and she snubs you while folks are around then you can always look at the others and smile sweetly and shrug your shoulders like you have no idea what is going on?
Kill them with kindness is what I live by.

 

[northcapemaymom]

I might just have to develop my "Southern Hospitality". After all, I live in "Southern New Jersey"! Thanks for the tip!

 

[ilovejack02]

Southern women have the gift of acting like they like someone even if they can't stand them. Act like you have NO idea this woman doesn't care for you. Make it a point to be nice to her - seek her out and strike up a conversation with her about mutual interests - ask about her kids, her DH, her vacation, etc... Be sweet as sugar to her. She will feel like a HEEL for disliking you for no reason.

Good luck!

SHe may not ever feel like a heel, but she sure will look stupid.
Clarabelle is right about us Southern Girls. We love to say Bless you heart Honey, that really means kiss my behind lol!

 

[Mono~rail]

Why do you think she doesn't like you?

 

[Uncle Remus]

I might just have to develop my "Southern Hospitality". After all, I live in "Southern New Jersey"! Thanks for the tip!

Hey Darlin', you are in the South,
New Jersey is a suburb of Texas.

 

[annegal]

My Southern Boss says something when she means the opposite-

"Isn't that Precious!!!"

 

[ilovejack02]

My Southern Boss says something when she means the opposite-

"Isn't that Precious!!!"

Yeah we use that one too lol!

 

[Michie]

I was wondering if you fine folks could give me some advice. I occasionally have to be in social situations (husband's work get-togethers, baby showers, etc) with a woman that I know does not care for me at all. The ironic thing is that we do not know each other well, but apparently she had made up her mind about her opinion of me. I've tried to just be polite and try to avoid her as much as possible, but in some small gatherings I feel extremely uncomfortable because the looks and body language I get from this woman can be just plain rude. I know just to keep my mouth shut or politely smile (she turns away if I do) and enjoy the other people around me, but this behavior is starting to get old.

Part of me wants to say "What the heck is wrong with you?" or "Do we have a problem here?" but I know that won't get me anywhere. And it's tiring trying to stay away from this person when I know due to space or mutual acquaintenances that we have to interact. What's even "funnier" is that our husbands will be working on the same shift at work. Small world, eh?

Have any of you been in the same social scenarios? I'm aware that people are not liked by everyone they meet. I'm not sure whether to continue what I'm doing, or just start getting creative (with humor, of course) with my interactions with her - 'cause I know I'll be seeing this woman at various functions in the future. Do you eventually "lose it" on someone or just blow them off? Thanks for listening.....

Big mistake! Never, ever let anybody know they make you feel uncomfortable!! Do not avoid them!!

Maybe this woman just isn't the friendly type and it isnt really anything to do with you?

 

[JunieJay]

Southern women have the gift of acting like they like someone even if they can't stand them. Act like you have NO idea this woman doesn't care for you. Make it a point to be nice to her - seek her out and strike up a conversation with her about mutual interests - ask about her kids, her DH, her vacation, etc... Be sweet as sugar to her. She will feel like a HEEL for disliking you for no reason.

Good luck!

Those of us in the mid-Atlantic states can vouch for this technique as well.

 

[Saffron]

Treat her the way you would want to be treated, no better, no worse, and let that be that. People can sense things from other people. What people would sense from you is that you are kind and friendly. People will sense from her what she projects ... negativity.

And if that fails, push her in the pool next time you're at a picnic.

 

[northcapemaymom]

I really have no clue why she acts rude to me. We were introduced at a work Christmas Party (alcohol not involved) and talked cordially another time after that. At another get together I said hello to her once and she totally ignored me. Didn't understand that one at all - and I know she heard me. She is personable with other people she's around but she stiffens up and doesn't talk to me if I engage her at all. I'm not the only person she does this to, but the numbers are few. Some other people have commented that she's a "nut cake". I wouldn't know for sure - I don't know her well. I try not to let my uncomfortableness show (that I'm aware of). I try to think of the penguins from the movie Madagascar... "Smile and wave boys! Smile and wave"!

 

[northcapemaymom]

I do like the pool at the picnic idea. I'll keep that in the arsenal!

 

[disykat]

IMO, There is nothing more irritating than being subjected to "fake nice" so I wouldn't suggest it unless you want to make her dislike you more. Personally, I'd stick to avoiding her, or ask her straight out if everything is okay.

 

[ilovejack02]

IMO, There is nothing more irritating than being subjected to "fake nice" so I wouldn't suggest it unless you want to make her dislike you more. Personally, I'd stick to avoiding her, or ask her straight out if everything is okay.

Southern girls usually have their fake nice routine down so good, that you usually dont realize that its all fake. Well at least until you hear 'Well bless you heart" or as someone else said the "isnt that just precious?" lines. LOL

 

[disykat]

Southern girls usually have their fake nice routine down so good, that you usually dont realize that its all fake.

Or at least they think they do. Very irritating.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think 'fake nice' is really annoying, but LOL...totally deserved when someone is outright rude.

 

[Liberty Belle]

SHe may not ever feel like a heel, but she sure will look stupid.
Clarabelle is right about us Southern Girls. We love to say Bless you heart Honey, that really means kiss my behind lol!

LOL I love that Bless Your Heart comedy routine. I can't remember who does it.

Found it!

It was written. Here's a link and a quote from it:

http://www.dixiebass.com/dixiebass/bless.htm

"As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all that bad, at least that's what my Great-aunt Tiny (bless her heart, she was anything but) used to say."