Inter Racial Couples

[cheerful chickadee]

I am in an interracial marriage, I'm white, dh is black I agree that your relationship has to be strong to deal with some of the resistance you may get from family and outsiders but over time you learn to ignore them and just live your lives. I think location also plays a factor in what kind of responses you might get also, this thread is evidence to that. My family didn't really protest DH and I's relationship or not accept our son because he is mixed, we haven't had much drama due to it at all. My ds(10) has never had any issues come up about his race at school or etc either. You'll come across many people who stick their feet in their mouths about black culture but I realize that those comments people make are out of ignorance and not always meant to be racist, per se, they just don't know about the culture. Don't get me wrong we've had the dirty looks and nasty comments under people's breath in the past but we've learned to ignore it.

I have also come to the realization that older folks were raised a certain way and have certain beliefs about race mixing and I'm not out to argue with or change a 95 year old's mind, just ignore them.

 

[JimFitz]

Live your life and don't worry about what other people think. Enjoy your BF and enjoy your time together.

 

[Serena]

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I'm sorry to say some of my family is the same way. One of these days people will know better.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Next time say this. Lean in and say " If you think that is bad...I know a woman who married a bigot." Say it real low so only he can hear.

 

[Robinrs]

People will always make ignorant comments, it's not them it's how we react to them.

Racism is alive and well in this world, the only difference is you haven't had to deal with it since birth and it hasn't given time to build the shell I have had to build to survive.

I expect it and ignore it. I consider the idiot and love the look on their faces when I kill their stereotype. No one has the nerve to do it to my face... I sometimes wish they would.

I've dated all races, the problems of all relationships are bad enough without the outside stuff. My Mom, God rest her soul, was an Archie Bunker bigot, and she was African American like myself. I could NEVER bring a non Black, non American man home and only dated 3 in my entire life. I lived in NY so it was easy to hide but if she ever found out, I was dead meat!!

It exists, and I swear, I wish I could tell you it will be better one day. Some areas accept it more but you will always bump heads with an idiot.

Welcome to my world....

 

[alliecats]

I just don't get it. Never have. As far as I am concerned, there's only one race--the human race.
Now you start mixing SPECIES? Donkeys and dogs? Lions and bears? That's something to talk about.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I'm so sorry, OP. I know that it so hard for you.

It's especially nice if people ask my husband if he's my caregiver. Oh the perverted comebacks I could spout back to them, but I don't.

 

[bubie2.5]

I have a question and I hope I don't offend anyone. Is a white woman/black man couple more common than a black woman/white man one?
I've lived most of my adult life in a country were race is a non issue, so I've been lucky, not stares or remarks, but I'm also very naive when it comes to race.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I'm sorry you all experienced such terrible behavior.

my dh's friend who is white recently got engaged to lovely black girl.

we all went away together last month and had a great time.
we booked for next year already!

Her son and dh's friend son were getting change once and i saw a women
giving a nasty look when i stepped up and said the boys are with me and she backed down.

 

[Poohbear123]

And I have NO problem with it. My DGD is gorgeous, and I love her, my DD and DSONIL! Here in Miami, its very common for Black/white Couples, no-one bats an eye. However, in "certain areas" its not accepted.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Maybe me and DBF should move to Miami, or WDW. Then we could get a house in Celebration and go to the parks every day. Too bad he doen't "get it" about Disney, and neither one of us is to keen on crowds or hot weather. I've never been to WDW between April - Sep, and he's never been to WDW.

 

[willis37862]

Some people just plain suck. You can love whoever you want. Doesn't matter what color their skin or where they are from. It is just plain ignorance on the part of people who think you should only love people the same "color" as you. Just my two cents.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

You know what I've never understood. (And this is kind of OT.) Why it's black in the first place. DBF is brown not black colored, so why call him black?

 

[Buckalew11]

I don't know about everywhere else, but in this part of the country, white/Asian relationships are much more "accepted" than white/black relationships. My ex-husband and I are both white. He married a Korean woman and there have been no issues anywhere around them. But if she was black, that would be a whole different story.

At least in the deep south.

Sadly this is true here. If I hear remarks like it, I aways say, "So you are against white girls marrying Asian men too?" Nope, only African Americans. That heats me up.

Last year in our small Southern town, in our small private Christian school we had a whote teacher marry an African American man. I heard quite a few negative remarks. Of course, I can;t keep my mouth shut.

And I have heard it as well as I am from NJ and married a guy from here. Damn Yankee! Of course, that is different because it isn;t racist but people still find negative remarks to pop their jaws about.

 

[Buckalew11]

Maybe me and DBF should move to Miami, or WDW. Then we could get a house in Celebration and go to the parks every day. Too bad he doen't "get it" about Disney, and neither one of us is to keen on crowds or hot weather. I've never been to WDW between April - Sep, and he's never been to WDW.

he's never been??? *insert thud smilie here*

He doesn't want to go? Of course not everyone wants to go but I'd have to give a second thought to this...

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Yeah, we need to rethink this guy if he doesn't like Disney. Now you spring this on us...

 

[crcormier]

Tough position to be in. Older people (though not excuseable) I find it easier to understand how they can still think like this, since that's how things were when they grew up. (Though you should still grow as a person, so no, it's not an excuse, just more understandable.) Younger people have no excuse except that they are either hateful by nature or were unlucky enough to be raised by racists and have not grown out of it.

 

[NMAmy]

I have several friends who are in interracial marriages--now you have me curious. I'm going to ask them if they've gotten any negative comments. I'd really have thought in this day and age that those comments would be a thing of the past. It's so sad that it's not for you. Ignore the small minded bigots.

I don't care who dd marries as long as he or she is good to her and loves her. Her first boyfriend (and only boyfriend so far) was Hispanic. In New Mexico, she was friends with a lot of Hispanic kids and Navajo kids. In Michigan, she has white, black, Hispanic, and mixed race friends. Her best friend is originally from India. She's had exposure to many different cultures in her short life. Take heart from the fact that I've never seen any of her friends seem to care one way or another what race anyone is. I truly believe there's hope for the future.

 

[gallaj0]

I have a question and I hope I don't offend anyone. Is a white woman/black man couple more common than a black woman/white man one?
I've lived most of my adult life in a country were race is a non issue, so I've been lucky, not stares or remarks, but I'm also very naive when it comes to race.

I saw some census info recently from the U.S. that said it's about 3-4 times more likely for an interracial (black/white) couple to be a white woman with a black man.

As a white man with a black wife (and 2 kids, a DD that looks tanned, and a pale, blonde son), I can honestly say that we've never heard or seen anything to suspect that people looking at us were dissaproving.

I'm pretty sure some her of family doesn't like me, but that may just be because I'm an obnoxious loundmouth Irishman, and I get that from a lot of people.

 

[Shutterbug]

I have a question and I hope I don't offend anyone. Is a white woman/black man couple more common than a black woman/white man one?
I've lived most of my adult life in a country were race is a non issue, so I've been lucky, not stares or remarks, but I'm also very naive when it comes to race.

I will answer this from what I see at the local malls and such. It is usually white girl/ black guy.

There is woman that is friends with our family. Her daughter is dating a black guy. Her daughter told her the reason she is is because all her friends are and its the hip thing at her school...for white girls to date black guys.