Inspired by wedding dress thread/how much for a wedding

[lil mermaid]

My first wedding in 1992 probably was about $25k, including everything (well, not rings.) I don't remember how it broke down, but it was something like $100 per person for food and drink including tax and gratuity. We had about 180 people. I remember we spent alot on flowers, but that was my Mom, mostly, lol! That didn't count our honeymoon, we did a budget trip to Florida (not WDW.)

My second wedding, in 2001, cost about $10,000 and we only had about ten people! We had it at WDW and that included all of the expenses for an eleven day WDW trip (annual passes) as well as the wedding itself, photography, honeymoon photo session, so its not as bad as it sounds!

That is nothing - a girl was married at WDW a few weeks before me and all of her expenses, when totalled, totalled $900,000 (she had lots of parties as well as a few fireworks Displays!)

 

[suzannen]

When I got married 13 years ago, my DH and I had a small, intimate afternoon wedding with 65 guests at my MIL's penthouse apartment. There was no band, no videographer, and my BIL and sister, both fabulous photographers, took the photos. Even so, because it was New York City, it cost us about $11,000. The caterer alone was $7,500 ($115/person). During the same time period, our friends who chose to get married at one of the major hotels (St. Regis, The Pierre...), easily spent $50,000 and up.

I don't think there is a right or wrong approach here. Every bride and groom need to choose their priority (AND budget). For some, it's the day and the ceremony. For us, although we could easily have afforded to go more expensive, we decided the headache and stress over it was too much. We decided instead to add an additional week to our honeymoon, upgrading all our hotel rooms. We never regretted our decision.

Good luck to all soon-to-be brides.

 

[PamOKW]

If you have AOL, the Personal Finance section is running articles on weddings. I picked up these #s. The average wedding costs $22,360. Southern weddings are least expensive with an average of $18,624. Weddings in NYC average $33,424. Only 27% of bride's families still totally pay for the wedding.

I think it's sometimes gets to a point where it really is a waste. I remember Joan Rivers spent $1 million on her daughter Melissa's wedding...recreating Russia in the winter in The Plaza ballroom with white flowers, etc. , etc. Now, Melissa is already divorced.

 

[Ziggie]

No one really knows how a marriage will turn out, but most people hope for the best. You pray for longevity and happiness. The ceremony and wedding are one thing, while the marriage is quite another.

Personally, Joan River's spending $1 million on a wedding for Melissa is, imo, petty cash to her. She earns millions and millions of dollars a year.. so she can well afford it. Also, I'm sure there were a lot of *pay back* invitations that went out.

One thing is true ~ people will always tell others how to spend their money. Do this with it, you should've done that with it. I make it a policy never to interfere with what other's do with the money they have. There are people on this board who've paid $650 to stay in a suite in the GF.. while I'm sure their weary bodies could've slept just as well at a $77/night value resort. Some people can afford to live more extravagantly.. while others worry about making a monthly mortgage payment.

Weddings are whatever you want them to be. You can hire the Cinderella coach for $2,500 for a 7 minute ride... or you can make a down payment on a condominium. Everyone has choices ~ that's what makes life go around.

 

[bsnyder]

Good post, Ziggie!

But am I the only one who had zero control over anything at her own wedding?

I was the eldest daughter, and my parents went all out. I have absolutely no idea what they spent, but there were over 400 people at the reception. They could well afford it, and it's what they wanted. In the beginning planning stages, after voicing my opinion on a few things, my mother told me that it was HER wedding, and that when I had a daughter get married, then I could plan MY wedding.

Really, I didn't care all that much about the details anyway, so it was easier just to let her do what she wanted.

 

[Cindy B]

We got married in 1991.

I think the grand total for everything, dress, reception, tux, flowers, honeymoon, photography, invitations and other miscelleanous stuff .. was in the neighborhood for $5,000.

The reception had less than 100 people and was in an intimate log cabin restaurant, with open bar, and full dinner. (cake and DJ were also included!)

My parents didn't pay for anything, this was me and DH 's money only... (and considering I was still a college STUDENT! , it was a LOT!)


My sister OTOH, went to Elkton MD.. plopped down $35 and eloped. She is now getting divorced.


I'm glad I gave my parents the experience of a wedding.

 

[katerkat]

Bet -- oh yeah! I'm not the oldest, but I am the first married of my two sisters. So my parents were slightly living vicariously through me. I fought over the important details, and let everything else float by their decision. My sisters said it was my turn to break ground so they could have the weddngs they wanted.

 

[Ziggie]

Originally posted by bsnyder
Good post, Ziggie!

But am I the only one who had zero control over anything at her own wedding?

I was the eldest daughter, and my parents went all out. I have absolutely no idea what they spent, but there were over 400 people at the reception. They could well afford it, and it's what they wanted. In the beginning planning stages, after voicing my opinion on a few things, my mother told me that it was HER wedding, and that when I had a daughter get married, then I could plan MY wedding.

Really, I didn't care all that much about the details anyway, so it was easier just to let her do what she wanted.

Thank you bsnyder ~ I appreciate your kind compliment

I'm sorry that you didn't have any control over your wedding because I feel that both the MOB and the bride need to come together on something like this. 400 people is a very large wedding to me! We are only having 65 and that was a decision both DD and I made together. I would never tell my DD that this was *my* wedding, because I've already been a bride. I wish you could've had more input (hugs).

DD and I sat down when she first told me she was thinking about a wedding. I have to be honest and say she made absolutely no demands in terms of venues, vendors, dress or colors. She had *ideas* but she never insisted on anything.

The venue we selected was a gift from me to her. She had always dreamed of having her wedding there, but never ever thought it was possible. While we were planning, she fully believed her reception would be at a local Marriott Hotel. When I finally told her the wedding she had been planning would be held at the place she had dreamed about as a little girl, she began to tremble. One thing I will cherish all my life was the look on her face.. I will always keep it close to me in my heart.

 

[Aurora63]

When DH and I first got married, we were poor college students. It cost us $88, the price of a marriage licence in Florida. I have never regretted marrying him, but I have often regreted not having a wedding.

That being said, we are renewing our vows in WDW in December! I am treating it like our wedding...though it isn't, it will feel like it to me.

We are doing the intimate wedding, which will cost us $3,300 (to Disney.) This includes the ceremony, officiant, cake, champagne, 4 nights at the Wilderness Lodge, 2 4 day park hopper passes, flowers, and some other small things I don't remember. The only downside is that we are limited to eight guests. This is not a downside to me, but some people would want more.

I have saved money on other things. My dress was a sample at a bridal salon, which had been discontinued. It was in perfect condition, it is off the sholder, a candlelight ivory color with a ballgown skirt. Total for it was $300.

I made my invitations myself. We could have done without them with only eight guests, but I wasn't willing to do that. Total cost was $12. Made them on the computer, even used some Disney clip art. You can get boxes of 50 invitations for about $30, if you are computer inclined and do the same, it can certainly save money.

Also, lucky me, my dad is a former photographer, so he will be doing most of the photography. I'm still trying to figure out who will take ceremony pictures, as I don't want him to be to emotional for it. I could probably scrounge for a photographer, but there are cheaper ways to do it in my case.

In any case, total for the wedding/VR will be about $5,000. DH is balking, but this is really a bargain, especially since we will be getting a vacation out of it as well. And it's at Disney!

Good luck to everyone here who is going through this now!

 

[Ziggie]

That being said, we are renewing our vows in WDW in December! I am treating it like our wedding...though it isn't, it will feel like it to me.

When was your first wedding?

And Congrats!

 

[Aurora63]

Our first "wedding" was not a wedding, it was just us going to the courthouse. Just me and him. Me in my jeans, no less. It was in 1998. So this has been important to me. I just don't feel right without this...maybe I am being crazy, but this is how I feel!

 

[Ziggie]

You're not being crazy ~ many brides renew their vows

Just curious, is there any particular reason you didn't wait the first time to have a wedding?

 

[hopemax]

But am I the only one who had zero control over anything at her own wedding?

About 5 hours into the planning of my wedding, I had enough of my Mom and my Grandma (my Mom's MIL, and basically ran over what my Mom wanted in her wedding) interferring with what I wanted. So I had them sign a piece of paper that said that the wedding was mine, and while they could offer advice, all final decisions would be MINE. They signed it, because they didn't want to look like they were "uncooperative" to the other. And they honored it, because neither wanted to break and look bad in front of the other! Both of them were getting frustrated with me, because I had a knack of figuring out exactly what I wanted and finding it on the first or 2nd try. "Are you sure you don't want to look at different shows, florist, cake decorator, etc." I took away their "fun."

My wedding was about $8,000 for a little over 100 people. This was back in 1998. My parents paid for $5000 and DH and I paid for the rest. My dress was $1000 with alterations. I looked at cheaper dresses, I really wanted to find one for about $500, but they weren't THE ONE. Bridesmaid dresses were $60 off the rack at the Bon Marche (no point in anyone else suffering because, I couldn't find a cheap dress!)

But I tell my parents and DH that I saved everyone $15,000. I read about the weddings at WDW and how for $15K you could arrange a private fireworks showing. Well, I decided I wanted fireworks, so DH and I talked and decided to get married on the 4th of July. In my town, the Alaska ferry terminal is one of the "better" places to get married/hold a reception, and it has a perfect view of the city's fireworks. Catering/hall rental was $3500, photography was $1200 (and they lost a roll from the ceremony GRRRR), flowers were $600 and everyone couldn't believe they were that cheap. I had 2 dozen, long stem yellow roses for my bouquet ($120). My mom and I made floral arrangements for the tables with silk flowers. We had star baskets we got at Pier 1, 75% off after Christmas, and the flowers came from Michaels.

Oh, and since we were getting married on the 4th of July, for our reception dinner we had a barbecue! Our park has a building you can rent for $25, we had it catered ($10 per person) for burgers, chicken, salmon, caesar salad, pasta salad and strawberry shortcake. Everyone had a blast.

 

[Aurora63]

Mainly, I had lived with someone for a few years, and we broke up - I did not want to do the "live together" thing again.

Also, he comes from a very religious family. He felt pressure from them...and he also wasn't comfortable just living with me either. We felt like, we know we are going to be married, lets just do it. Looking back, I am sure there are other things we could have done, but this is the way it worked out!

 

[Ziggie]

I totally understand Aurora63 At least now you have your Disney wedding to look forward to ~ happy planning!