Inspired by "Tips for Job Seekers"

[ctinct]

I got a chuckle out of the previous thread and decided to print a list of my daughter typed up in frustration one day. She is the teacher recruiter for a charter school. These are all true; only the names have been changed.

1. Why on earth would you ever address me as "Mr. Smith"?
2. If your email address happens to be bigbootyxxx@......, make up a new one to use for your job search.
3. Please use the correct heading on your letter. We are not part of the Newton school district, and I am not Superintendent Jones.
4. No cat pictures. Ever.
5. I swear, I don't need to see your marriage license.
6. Don't plagiarize our website. When it's word for word, I'm going to notice.
7. No smiley faces drawn on the application, please.
8. If you choose to send me a video of your teaching, don't send a tape from a day when the kids are buck wild.
9. Two words: spell check.
10. When I ask you your strenghts as a teacher, consider that to be an easy question. Don't ask if you can come back to it.
11. If you are going to name drop, be sure the person likes you.
12. I don't need to know if you are a member of the National Association of Hamster breeders. really.
13. If you pressure me into making a decision because you have several other excellent offers, and I turn you down, please do not turn around and apply with us again two weeks later.
14. Please, put the dogs in another room when it is time for our initial phone interview.
15. Along the same line, parrots really shouldn't be on your shoulder during our chat.
16. Don't ask if you can bring your mommy to the interview!

 

[4Cs]

 

[Poohnatic]

Ooooh, can I make one for retail?

1. Please don't come into my store with a stack of applications from every store in the mall. It tells me you're desperate and don't particularly want to work for my company.

2. Understand that stores are busy on the weekends, therefore, we expect you to be available at that time. Additionally, we work all holidays-that's our busiest time.

3. Please fill out the application COMPLETELY. You look foolish when you only list two previous employers on the application, then tell me about three other jobs you worked during the interview. When you state that you left a job for better pay, but were unemployed for three months and the next job paid a lot less, that sends up a red flag.

4. When we ask for references, we want references that can answer questions about your work habits. Your best friend isn't the best person for a reference.

5. If you come in with mom or dad, and mom or dad asks me all the questions, it tells me you don't care enough to sell me on the idea of hiring you. Getting a job is an adult responsibility, please handle it yourself.

6. You like to keep up with the latest fashions, and that's great. However, coming to an interview in a pair of short shorts, flip flops and a tank top is not the best way to make a good impression. Dress in clothing that covers your tush and stomach.

7. Turn OFF the cell phone before walking in for your interview. Don't turn it back on until after you walk out the door.

8. If you're shopping prior to the interview, stash the bags in your car before the interview.

9. Spit out the gum.

10. Please don't bring the kids/significant other to the interview with you.

11. If you're scheduled for a 4 pm interview, show up a few minutes before 4. Many times, we schedule interviews on a very tight schedule.

12. First impressions are lasting impressions.

Suzanne

 

[4Cs]

Poohnatic, you have no idea how many times we have witnessed #1 on your list when we are shopping.