Inspired by the "what do you call your grandma" thread

[lil mermaid]

Who decided in your family what the grandmothers would be called?

DH and I are expecting our first baby in just a little over two months. We returned "home" to Boston for our baby shower a couple of weeks ago and this has been bothering me ever since. (Not a lot - but a little.)

So anyway, at the baby shower, we received a few gifts from my MIL (please note, I did not say DMIL.) Anyway, all the gifts were signed "Gammy (last name)." Apparently DH's two nephews (brother's kids) call her either Grammy or Gammy. (Gammy because one of them said it that way as a baby.)

Well...I just dont like Grammy, and I like Gammy even less! I don't want to have to refer to someone as Grammy or Gammy and I don't want to hear my little girl doing it either!

So what do we do? And who gets to decide what the grandmothers will be called???

Please note: I am almost 31 weeks pregnant, and will admit that maybe I am being a hormonal pregnant cranky woman here, and that MIL is a mean woman who bugs me in general.

 

[snoopy]

I would think the person who is being called the name would be able to decide what she wants to be called.

 

[~*Belle 2003*~]

The grandparents choose their own names themselves in our family!

 

[skuttle]

The grandparents choose their own names in our family....or at least they try! One of my aunts wanted her grandkids to call her "grandmother" (which I hate...sounds too formal, IMO)...well, one does, but the other calls her MeMo and noone knows where he came up with that! LOL

 

[jx3smom]

I agree, Snoopy. My son was the first grandchild on each side. My ex MIL wanted to be called Grandmother so that was it. My mom said Grandmom would be ok but when my DS learned to talk he called her MomMom and it stuck. All of my nieces and nephews used it too. My dad is Papah, DS shortened from Grandpa and it also stuck.

I think it is just natural for all the grandchildren in a family to use the same name for their grandparent and I don't see anything wrong with your MIL signing it that way, Lil mermaid.

 

[lil mermaid]

say it isn't so....someone please tell me I don't have to say Gammy....

 

[evilqueenfan]

I think many times the name is decided by the firstborn grandchild. My DS was the first and how he said it was what stuck and all the grandchildren that followed just continued with that name. The same way with many of my cousins' kids and their grandparents as well as some of our friends.

 

[4greatboys]

My kids call my gandmother granny because thats what I called her as a kid. We let my mom pick what she wanted to be called and she chose Ma. My 2 youngest call my dh parents grandma and Popo (long O sound, not poopoo ) because they already had 2 grandkids that called them that.

 

[wishuponastarforever]

Funny - I never heard of another Gammy. That's what I called my Grandmother - same reason - it's the way I said it when I was a baby so it stuck.

I think Grandparents should have a say - but if the children come up with something and it sticks - it's a cute story. It's also important if the parents have something picked out.

What an amazing happy time - no matter what the grandparent is called, the wonderful event of a new life is what is important.

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by lil mermaid
say it isn't so....someone please tell me I don't have to say Gammy....

You don't have to say Gammy.

 

[lil mermaid]

Originally posted by wishuponastarforever
What an amazing happy time - no matter what the grandparent is called, the wonderful event of a new life is what is important.

You are so right...DH and I have been waiting for our little angel for a long time, and it it amazing!!

 

[Tinks]

Your MIL might change her mind when the little darling, like almost all kids, can't say a hard "G" sound but uses a "D" sound instead! Maybe you'll like Gammy a little more after that!

 

[Talking Hands]

On my Moms side I was the first grandchild and I gave the names to them. Hobby and Mem. One my father's side I was the second and Mom and Pop was already established so that's what I used as well. For my greatgrands I used already established names.
My oldest called my Dad, Pop-pop and my Mother, Grandmother Fountain. My mother was a very proper type who would have nothing else. My husband's parents are Big Jim, Pilkie (her nickname), Grandma Mildred and Jere.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

DMIL wanted to be called Nana, but for some reason, she ended up being Grandma. My Mom is Grandma too.

FIL is Papa and my dad is Bapa (couldn't say Papa correctly and it stuck with him. )

 

[MosMom]

You can always call her Grandma...you don't have to say Gammy. It will be awhile before your little one can say anything like that anyway so I wouldn't sweat it. All of our family members are Grandma/Grandpa except for my mom...she *had* to be called Nana. She said she was too sophisticated to be called Grandma...but my mom is a pickle.

When I was a teenager my mom's dad decided he didn't want to be called Grandpa anymore and that it was disrespectful. He wanted us to call him Grandfather. My aunt said "Only if you call me Heidi". Do you see a pattern on my mom's side? I never did call him Grandfather, I had called him Grandpa all my life.

 

[robsmom]

Like many things in life the oldest wins (can you tell I am not the oldest!!). Seriously, I had the same issue because I don't like MomMOM and PopPop as names but my SIL started her kids doing that and the younger grandchildren really don't have a choose. I do think my MIL actually chose it because she didn't want to be a grandmom. (ironic since she was in her mid 60's and pressuring my dsil for a grandchild...but another story). My own DSIS decided that my grandmother (we call her grandmom) would be grammy and that my mom would be grandmom so we inherited that as well.

I think it is one of those 'its life things". if it makes you feel better, you get used to it, it feels normal and it stops annoying you!!

 

[Lisa F]

A good friend of mine is currently pregnant with her first and started FREAKING out on me because her MIL signed a card for a baby gift "Mimi" because that's what she wants to be called as a grandmother and she hated it. Now this particular friend is normally pretty easy going and level headed, so I attributed her hysteria to pregnancy hormones and told her that she needed to get a grip (she did have reasons for not liking the name "Mimi" but like a good friend, I told her to get over it!)

My feelings about this particular subject are the same as my feelings about weddings... although we like to think that the event is all about US, it's also about family. I'm not saying you should let your parents/inlaws tell you how you raise your child and if your MIL gives you grief about whether you bottle feed or attachment parent or whatever, you should stand up for yourself. I just believe that having a baby is a blessed event for many members of the family and your MIL has probably been dreaming about what her grandkids would call her for as long as you've been dreaming about having a baby. She may not be "dear" to you but she is probably at least deserving of some basic respect in that department.

I have to say that I have never liked the "nana" and variants on it for personal reasons related to the way I was brought up and someone I knew who went by that particular name. One of my husband's grandmothers goes by "Nan" and at first it really did grate on me. When I was writing a thank you note to her, on a whim I addressed it to her as "Nan" and it made her SOOO happy... so much so that I just call her that all the time now. I still don't really care for it but it's her name and it makes her happy and it's really no skin off my nose and it's worth it to me to respect my husband's grandmother in that way. I suspect my husband's mother will want the same name and I don't plan on saying a word to her about it, whatever she wants to be called.

 

[Kimnicki]

When I was pregnant with my daughter, my mom decided she wanted to be called "Mimi", this later changed and she wanted to be called "Grammy" and every gift she bought after my daughter was born was signed "grammy". After my daughter started getting older and started talking, she started calling my mom "Mommom" (this MUST be a northeastern thing) . And that's what she's been ever since! My DD, now almost 9, looks at books from my mom and wants to know who "Grammy" is. I don't think you can ever really predict what's going to come out of our children's mouth and sometimes, we just need to go with the flow.

Whatever you do, don't get yourself all upset over it.


Kim

 

[sissybells]

I called both of my Grandma's Mammaw. I called all of my Grandpa's Pappaw. My husband calls one of his Grandma's Grams and the other one Ninny. And both of his Grandpa's Poppa. Now my niece calls her greatgrandma's Mammaw but she calls my Mom MamMam.

 

[mom2of2]

When I was pregnant with my first child (now 13) this is how I told my mom and grandmother.
I said to them both...ok so my great grandmother was BIG Nana and you are LITTLE Nana, what do you want to be called Mom? They both took a second before realizing that I was telling them I was going to have a baby. My mom only took a second before replying "MAMIE"!!! No disrespect meant so don't ANYONE take this wrong but I instantly thought of Aunt Jemima as in SYRUP!! My mom is 5'2, and irish as a day is long with red red hair and green eyes. My Nana looked at her like she'd lost her ever loving mind.
Now we have:
Mamie and Pops
Gammy (I know thought it was wacked too!) & Pop Pop
Pa and Grammy
Grandma & Grandpa
Nana (Big has since passed and no need to call her Little anymore)

Grandparents pick and whether you agree or not doesn't really matter. Your child will most definately decide EXCATLY what they want to call them and believe me the Grandparents LOVE it when their grandchild has a "pet" name for them....this holds true UNLESS you call Nana...Nannie Goat which my brother did only ONCE!!!