Insp by Imsorry---do you make your kids try everything?

[Nancy]

See that's the difference. Clams are very seasonal here (Western New York) Even the majority of the adults wouldn't try them! What made it surprising that she tried them was the fact that she will not eat fish at all. (Like a fish fry) she won't try shrimp, lobster or crab legs. At least I have tried shrinp and lobster...don't like them and won't eat them again, but I've tried them

 

[Stitchfans]

I've always told my DDs not to turn their nose up to anything until they have actually tasted it, then if they don't like it don't eat it. Sometimes they might be missing out on some great tasting food, and just because it looks funky they refuse to try it.

 

[becka]

I don't *make* my kids eat something but I usually encourage them to try 1-2 bites. Usually there is a side dish that DS will eat really well so he gobbles that up first and then I ask him to take a bite or two of something he was questionable about before I get him seconds. Most of the time he likes it but something he doesn't and I don't make him eat more. DS has been really good about trying new things. I can't remember the last time he balked at trying something new...he doesn't like everything but he does like lots of stuff that shocked me. I have never heard of another 3 year old that loves calamari.

 

[Beth76]

I have never heard of another 3 year old that loves calamari.

Becka, Becka!!! Both my boys love calamari!!

Yes, I do make my boys try everything. Although really "make" isn't accurate, they just do. My little one will eat practically anything on his plate and the older one just knows that's the rule. I've never had to force either of them to eat anything. Even with the calamari. It was on their plates and they just ate it.

It's not like I'm taking them to the asian buffet and forcing them to try "weird" things.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think kids should have to TRY everything. Not giving new foods a chance and just handing them PBJs all the time has turned today's kids into the I-won't-eat-anything-but-chicken-fingers-and-pizza generation and it is so sad.

True to a large degree, but my DD is a good example of someone who used to be fairly picky, but for the most part came out of it. She used to eat a lot of PB&J, grilled cheese, mac/cheese, pizza and pasta. I never forced her hand as far as trying new things, but a variety of cuisines and foods were offered.

We've always exposed our kids to a lot of things. Since we're vegetarian we've probably eaten more cuisines than many people. From an early age they've had Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Indian and the more "normal" Italian. In every cuisine they find something that they like. My picky eater 12yo that I mentioned in an earlier post found that he loves Indian rice, Naan, and the spicy green sauce (he usually doesn't like spicy). He can make a meal of that even though Indian food is not his favorite.

Personally, when we get take-out Thai food I'd just as soon that my 2 younger boys make sandwiches so there will be leftovers for me the next day.

 

[skiwee1]

I think kids should have to TRY everything. Not giving new foods a chance and just handing them PBJs all the time has turned today's kids into the I-won't-eat-anything-but-chicken-fingers-and-pizza generation and it is so sad.

That isn't true so don't generalize. My oldest two were allowed to refuse anything they wanted and for any reason. They now have very good diets and eat tons of veggies.

 

[skiwee1]

I don't understand how someone can know they won't like something unless they try it. Would you let them not bathe bc they don't like it and it becomes a "punishment"? How about learning to tie their own shoes, use the potty, and all the assorted other things kids would not learn on their own unless we as adults taught them how? It's not like most of us are out here forcing liver and onions on our kids; I am talking about regular foods.

DD was always asked to take one bite. That's it. If she said she did not like it, we did not go back to it. However, there was no other option. She had to eat the rest of the meal.



Are steamed clams so unusual for a child to eat!?

Food is a preference. You don't have to eat a food just because someone else likes it or you think it is good for you. If a child doesn't want to eat something because it doesn't APPEAL to them then why force it? There are so many other things out there that there is no reason to force the child to eat something they don't want to eat. Why have a power struggle over something so stupid? Thankfully I have had experience in this since I have three kids ages 6, 18, and 23. I know I have raised great eaters and I didn't have to force them to try one bite either.

 

[momsully]

I only cook one meal in my house but I make sure at least one of the sides is something that each of the kids like. Both boys have to take two "no thank you" bites of everything on their plates. This was something that daycare started and it has worked well for us to get my DS6 to try new foods. DS4 has always eaten everything but if something looked a little different DS6 used to just refuse. Now since the expectation is to try everything he does and has learned that he enjoys alot of different foods. I would never force them to take the two bites but they know if they refuse there is no desert or snack later in the evening.

 

[chobie]

That isn't true so don't generalize. My oldest two were allowed to refuse anything they wanted and for any reason. They now have very good diets and eat tons of veggies.

Most of the adult picky eaters I know were forced to eat things they did not want to as children. My kids are just growing out of being picky eaters and are willing to try new things. However, I don't see the point of forcing them to try food. I agree food should not be a punishment.

 

[rhanditresmom]

We do have a rule in our house...you have to try something before you can tell me you don't like it. This was the rule in my house when growing up and I think it is fair with my kids. I'm actually glad we do this, because I probably have the least picky kids of all my friends. They know I am not a short order cook, but there are very few things they will not try.

I'm doubly glad because DH and I love ALL foods...from everywhere. We love to try new things and our kids are always right there with us! My children are 12 and 10, by the way!

 

[Nancy]

That isn't true so don't generalize. My oldest two were allowed to refuse anything they wanted and for any reason. They now have very good diets and eat tons of veggies.

That's my kids too. I never made them eat the food i made for dinner. Now my girls try foods I never would and eat things I wouldn't touch. I was made to eat foods I absolutely hated when I was a kid, I do have a horrible diet now. But my girls....they try all types of food and very rarely eat the chicken nuggets and pizza diet.

 

[vivilasvegas]

I never knew I was being punished when my parents made me try broccoli.

Didn't like it then, still don't like it now, but at least I tried it.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I have never heard of another 3 year old that loves calamari.

My dd LOVES calamari, and has since she was about 4. Of course, she's almost 10 now and still doesn't know what it really is! She also loves other types of seafood, guacamole, broccoli, and other things that we insisted she try. She "hated" guacamole until she actually tried it and realized she liked it. I refuse to let my kids eat only PB&J, chicken nuggets and mac & cheese.

 

[chobie]

I never knew I was being punished when my parents made me try broccoli.

Didn't like it then, still don't like it now, but at least I tried it.

All I'm saying is that if you force kids to eat things it can make meals become like punishments; it doesn't mean it always will be a punishment. My kids have healthy eating habits now and will try new things and that is because they were never forced to try things.

 

[experiment626mom]

We use to make the kids take one bite of everything. If we didn't the kids wouldn't have eaten a thing!! The older two now eat everything and the 13 year old is getting there.

 

[lyeag]

Of course I make them try everything. If they don't like it fine, but come on, if they have never had it, how do they know what they like?

I just tell them to take a small bite ( and I do mean small). If they don't like it fine, but to automatically turn your nose up at something is not acceptable. Those who try things and don't like them are given pb&j, those who won't try are hungry for the rest of the night.

Now, for example, we are having chili for dinner. Dh makes it spicy and I know dd7, and ds,4 won't like it. They don't like any spicy foods right now. I don't make them eat some, they are going to have grilled cheese. Last night however, dh made a turkey recipe that was new. They threw a fit. After 10 minutes of trying to turn up their noses, they tried it and ate it.

 

[Marseeya]

I ask my kids to try everything, but I don't make them try everything. I also, *gasp*, make them a separate meal if I know they don't like what I'm making. BUT, if I make a meal where I know they like most of the foods, but they're just not in the mood for it, I don't go out of my way. They can either eat what I've made, or they can make something else themselves.

I was forced to eat things I didn't like as a kid. I can remember being five or so and my mom made sausage and forced me to eat it and I promptly threw up. Sausage was just too rich for me! She was really big on frying everything and coating it in grease, so I'm betting that my Barrett's esophagus is because of her. I also had a babysitter who would cram foods into our mouths. Ironically, my mom fired her for doing that.

 

[mcnuss]

All I'm saying is that if you force kids to eat things it can make meals become like punishments; it doesn't mean it always will be a punishment. My kids have healthy eating habits now and will try new things and that is because they were never forced to try things.

I think there's a world of difference between encouragement and force. We have never forced, but encouraged strongly. I agree that people who are forced to eat things against their will do become pickier eaters. My DH is a prime example of that. His mom put cheese on top of every vegetable and since he hated cheese sauce, he decided he hated veggies. It wasn't until we met and he saw me eating veggies every night (and was encouraged to try them) that he began to eat green food. He was 35 years old.

My DD11 has extremely healthy eating habits, and quite an exotic palate (including calamari, which she has eaten since she was a toddler, and which she does know is squid) because she was encouraged to try new things and not to assume she did not like them just because other children didn't eat them (or other adults thought it was weird that she would; you can't imagine what it's like to have your best friend tell your 5 yo that she's "brave" to eat brussel sprouts!). I watch the majority of her friends turn up their noses at simple foods bc they've never been exposed to them and I find it sad.

Food is one of those delightful parental balancing acts -- I think we all have to try not to be too extreme on either side of the line.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

you are right!!! - there is also another difference that I think is being confused here - the difference between asking them to try one little bite and then saying no thank you vs. forcing them to eat an entire serving or clean their plate!!! I don't think there is any harm in trying one little "no thank you" taste!

 

[Sparx]

I don't think I was ever made to try anything except once. Tuna. The smell of fish is enough to make me gag. This nearly made me puke. I was never made to try anything again. If I don't like whats being made for supper, I make my own food.