Sorry for the ultra long delay, weekends can sometimes be tough for me. But here I am, back for the 16 dedicated fans I have. Excellent.
The meal at the Artist Pointe was not only delicious, but also led to wonderful evening of rest. Of course that could have been the parks that caused that, but I digress.
The plan for the day was to hit Animal Kingdom at opening and then take a short break before heading to Epcot for dinner at Le Cellier and Illuminations. That's right, I was skipping the Super Bowl.
Perhaps this is where I should talk about my love for football. I've been playing my entire life, and though I'm now at the point where I should no longer look forward to getting beat often, I play every weekend. Still.
And then there is the NFL. Love it. Can't live without it. So why was I skipping the Super Bowl? Because I love Disney, and particularly Illuminations more. I'm getting old. It sucks.
More credit to FT this morning as she had very little trouble getting out of bed and being ready to leave the room around 8:15.
"Yes, hello, this is I again. I need my car."
"No problem sir, and a good morning to you."
Love it.
Stopped to fill up the mugs this morning. They really should allow you to fill the mugs with juice. I'm not a coffee guy, so I settled for water. Yeah, water. Glad I bought the mug. FT had some PowerAde. Apparently we are anti-coffee.
Arrived at Animal Kingdom 20 minutes before it opened and it looked pack. Then again, when does it not?
Just to get this out of the way, Animal Kingdom was the first park I visited as an adult. I loved it. Right away. Had a giraffe stick its head about 6 inches from mine on the safari. Saw my first ever Disney 3-D. And the Lion King. Needless to say, unlike MGM, I still have great love for this place. In fact, the weeklong schedule called for two mornings here, and an EMH. Since Everest was built, it is more than worth it.
Despite being behind a significant number of people after the turnstiles, FT and I, who proved this trip to be the ultimate people dodgers when navigating a crowded park, were in the first two dozen or so people to reach Everest.
"Wait here," I said at the beginning of the line. "I'm going to grab some fast passes for later."
"Alright."
Succeeded in my effort without issue. Until I went back to the beginning of the line and Steph was nowhere to be found. Was she kidnapped? Did she spot a soft pretzel stand? Did the Yeti eat her?
And then I saw her. Standing about 100 feet inside of the beginning of the line. Oblivious to it all.
"Hi." When I got there.
"Hi."
After about a three minute wait (if you've never been to Disney and are planning to go- GET OUT OF BED AND GO IN THE MORNING!), we were told that we had the back seat. I hadn't figured out if this was good or not, as I had only been on the ride twice the year before. Suffice it to say, it is just a wonderful ride. The beginning is very tame, up until the point you go backwards. But even that tame part offers one of the best views in the World.
Then you go backwards and its nuts. I'm a super roller coaster freak, and I adore this ride. Cedar Point is my idea of awesome roller coasters. Not Disney. But this ride, I don't know what it is. Excellent work Disney.
As we approached the gift store I stopped to check out our picture. FT looked like she couldn't have been more bored. I noticed this on Buzz the day before as well.
"Did you like that ride?"
"I loved it, thought it was awesome."
I pointed at the screen.
"Then what the hell is that?
She just started laughing.
"I have no idea."
"It's your theme park face. It never changes."
And it was true. She never changed her face. No matter the ride. Tough one to crack. I just kept laughing. I couldn't believe it. Now, the Everest photo spot isn't as scary as some other rides, but still. She looked as if she were taking a math exam. I wish I had bought it. Fortunately, I didn't need to. She would do it over and over all week.
Animal Kingdom is the one park in Disney I have no idea how to tour. Where do you go after Everest? Safari? Dino-land? Kali? It really depends on the weather. Keeps you guessing anyway.
Because it was supposed to be chilly and overcast all day, I figured we did not need to rush to the safari, so we went to Dino-land.
First-up- Primeval-whirl. It's an evil ride you know. Just goes the wrong way sometimes. But fun nonetheless. And despite the appearance of people at the rope drop, there was no one around.
After getting off of Primeval-whirl, my tooth was killing me. Didn't know why, I just knew I was in pain. Tried to put in the back of my head. It's mental Fonzy. Mental.
Up next Dinosaur. Here is a ride where the time outside is always wrong. I don't think I've ever been there when it didn't say at least 20 minutes, and I've never waited more than three. Sure enough, sign said 20 minutes. No wait.
As we boarded our time rovers I made sure that entered first, something I rarely do. Hey, Im a good guy. But not this time. Not with FT being in the far-right seat of the rover for her first ride. Its a scary ride.
And boy was there a payoff. The girl who puts on the Thrill Ride Face, was terrified. I mean straight up pee in your pants scared. She loved Dinosaur, and as we got to the photo spot I started laughing uncontrollably. There she was, ducking into my body as if I were a shield from the big, bad meat-eating dinosaur.
Priceless.
Despite the laughter, my tooth now felt as if Tyson had punched me.

So I headed to the gift shop and asked for some Excedrin. Best $1.75 I ever spent (left my pills in the room). Felt better within 30 minutes.
Out of Dinoland and Into Africa (hey, I thought it was clever) for the Safari. I couldnt tell whether or not the 30-minute wait was that long, so we grabbed some Fast passes and headed to the Pangani Rainforest. This is one of those trails I usually hit depending upon how hot I am by the time we reach the entrance. Today was a very cool day, and we only had 45 minutes until the Safari, I figured it would work.
Boy would it. I cant tell you how many times Ive been through this trail and never seen the Gorillas. Not only could you see them today, they were active. At least a few of them. Others were stationary, sitting and staring at those staring at them.
They look sad, FT noted.
Yeah, but its still pretty cool looking at them. They kind of freak me out.
They look sad.
Indeed.
After the Rainforest it was on to the Safari. We nabbed first row seats, which would once again become a theme for the week. We constantly ended up being in the front row of nearly everything we went on. It became a running joke. The animals were very active, and it once again blew me away how different that ride always is. For instance, on this two-week venture, we saw no rhinos whatsoever, but the Lions were not only awake, but sitting up and looking around.
As for FT, well she was too busy trying to snap picture to really take it all in. At least I think. I wouldnt know, as she missed every animal by about .4 seconds. Very frustrating for FT.
Time for lunch. Amazingly, nothing looked too appetizing in the Tusker House (very rare), so we skipped it and headed over to the Jungle Trek. Boy did we have a winner here.
If there is one thing you should know about First-Timer its that she loves cats. And while it was too chilly for the Komodo Dragon to come out and play, and only someone insane could truly enjoy the spectacle that is the giant fruit bats, when comes to Tigers, FT is quite a fan.
For 30 minutes we sat with these magnificent creatures. Sometimes she said, Meooowww. Other times, and this was my personal favorite, Hello, kitty. Its the most adorable thing I think Ive ever seen. So yeah, she was loving the Tigers.
We even had a great time in the bird sanctuary.
What the hell is that thing?
Well, thats a (I have no idea what it was called) pigeon, the CM said. Hes been here about six weeks. Its the biggest pigeon in the world. Been trying to build a nest the whole time. Not very good at it.
No he was not. Just a few sticks hanging at the branches of a tree. Poor effort all around Mr. Pigeon. Our New York variety would be mighty disappointed.
The problem with Animal Kingdom, and in my opinion there are very few, is that it is tough to gauge time. How long do I have to get from Asia to Camp Minnie-Mickey? Can I stop at the Tree of Life? Such was my dilemma after leaving the Jungle Trek. We had 30 minutes to go until the next Lion King Show.
Instinctively, I knew I should have run over there, but I decided that I thought we could make the next Bugs Life show, and then hit the Lion King. This was around 11:40 a.m. and the next Lion King was not until 1:30 p.m. Instinctively, I was wrong.
There turned out to be a line to see Its Tough To Be a Bug, so that we did not even get out of the theater until the Lion King was starting. And I must be early to that show. So Plan B surfaced. Head back to Everest, then ride Dinosaur again, before grabbing a quick bite and hitting the 1:30 p.m. Lion King.
Everest rocked again, though we sat in the same exact place. What are the chances of getting the back twice in a row without trying? Strange. Dinosaur was not nearly as fun as the first time, mostly because I bet FT she couldnt make her Thrill Ride Face, appear on the screen. She proved me quite wrong.
We grabbed a little pizza at Pizzafarri, which isnt bad for Florida. If you are from New York, you realize that you will never have good pizza when traveling in the south; so when you get some that is not horrendous it is a win.
And I apologize if I have offended any Southerners. I do love the South, but youra pizza, notsomuch.
Lunch was over about 20 minutes before the next Lion King, so the plan, made on a whim, worked out perfectly.
The Lion King. I love it. I love the performers. The costumes. The music. The interaction. Just the general setting. It is pure Disney magic, and to me, worth the price of admission alone. Im serious. I had not talked about the show at all since arriving, as I was now on my low expectation tour of the World. But I knew First-Timer would love it.
In the theater we went. Moved all the way to the right so as not to be unpatriotic, and even did the hand-jive. At least I did. More to embarrass FT than anything else. Im not a huge hand-jiver. No really, Im not.
We were in the Lion section, which I pretty much purposely picked out, thereby making me beyond cool, or the biggest loser on the planet. Ill let you decide. And the show started.
It was wonderful. For 8 minutes. And the set malfunctioned. The monkeys couldnt put away their apparatus.
We are sorry to inform you that this presentation of the Festival of the Lion King has been cancelled. We are sorry for the inconvenience.
Huh? Cancelled? You cant fix it, and then start over. Two problems here.
Dont say, Festival of the Lion King, in that awesome, Festival of the Lion King voice, if you are delivering bad news. Its not cool. At all.
And secondly, you mean to tell me I just spent an extra two hours in the park for one reason, and then it was cancelled. I was deflated.
Ugh, I cant believe that.
Its alright, it was pretty cool, the part we saw. There couldnt have been much left?
There was a good 20 minutes left. 20 awesome minutes.
Sorry.
Im annoyed. I wanted you to see that show and be blown away like I am. I purposely didnt discuss it at all today so that you could be blown away. Ugh, Im annoyed. Cancelled? Fix the problem.
By the way, we were still sitting in the theater. Actually so was everyone. Apparently the cancellation caught everyone off guard, and the entire crowd seemed as if this were a random announcement. Finally our camp leaders, who I wanted to kick in the head, told us to leave.
Mmhmm
All is well that ends well though. FT loved Animal Kingdom. You could see it on her face. Today was Sunday, and Saturday was our departure the day. The 4 p.m. flight left for a park in the morning, and I told her we would do that park she wanted. I pretty much knew it would be Animal Kingdom as we walked out.
Headed back to the car, I saw the one thing that could cheer me up- Launchpad McQuack. I grew up on Ducktales. Love the show. Knew every episode. I still sing the theme song in the shower. Ducktales- Woo-hoo.
Launchpad always makes me smile, and Im glad they have made him a steady character at the exit here; its always good for a laugh.
Back to the hotel we went in anticipation of an Epcot evening.
Up next: Chapter 7: Super Bowl Sunday at Epcot. Fonzys Visit to Every Bathroom in the World Showcase (Its as Gross as it sounds)