Innocent flirting between two married people...OK or not?

[Minnesota!]

I totally agree.

Some people are naturally flirty.

ditto. I know I am.

 

[SydneyBristow]

I believe if you're married the only person you should flirt with is your spouse.

 

[freckles and boo]

I would mind my own business. However, plenty of office affairs start with innocent flirting. Not everyone knows when to stop.

 

[NY Disney fan]

I flirt with my bff's DH and she flirts with my man.
We also are friends with this other couple, he is always flirting with me and me with him. He even goes so far as to kiss me on the lips. Both DH and his wife are fine with it because they both know how goofy we are.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think it's none of your business, unless you are hoping to be "someday single again" so you can go out with your boss who is flirting with this other person.

To answer your question...if ti's innocent, I see no issue with it. And most normal adults involved in flirtation know when innocent crosses the line.

 

[bookgirl]

I have no problem with innocent flirthing (you don't hide it, it's not secret from a significant other, both parties are involved, it's more funny then sexy etc).

If it's anything other than that there's probably more to the story and I'd stay way way out of it.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

Flirting is one thing. Anything more than that is something else.

 

[polineedyan]

..has no place in the workplace..its called sexual harrassement...solicited or not..

 

[Bonnie40]

I think it depends on your definition of innocent.
My DH and I are both big flirts. I know about his and he know about mine. We flirt in front of each other. That's innocent.
I flirt with my bff's DH and she flirts with my man.
We also are friends with this other couple, he is always flirting with me and me with him. He even goes so far as to kiss me on the lips. Both DH and his wife are fine with it because they both know how goofy we are. But when we are out in public we tame it down so that others don't wonder. Our innocent is done more in private....KWIM?

It's when the other doesn't know that it becomes temptation and not innocent.

Just my opinion, but this isn't 'normal' flirting behaviour! So when you're out in public with this couple you 'tame it down' but in the privacy of your own homes you go so far as to kiss another man on the lips? I find that to be disrespectful of your marriage and kinda weird....

 

[Bonnie40]

..has no place in the workplace..its called sexual harrassement...solicited or not..

 

[horseshowmom]

I just know that "innocent" can turn to serious rather quickly and without warning too. It's dangerous to flirt and push the envelope. The other person's boundaries may not be the same as your own or feelings could easily develop to go along with that innocent flirtation. I've seen it happen with close friends who eventually left their marriages and are now together. A lot of people can eventually get hurt with "innocent" flirtations. I don't think I'm a prude, just realistic.

I believe if you're married the only person you should flirt with is your spouse.

I agree completely (and my husband, who used to be married to someone who was a flirt, agrees with me).

 

[tinkntraining]

..has no place in the workplace..its called sexual harrassement...solicited or not..

A little flirting never hurt anyone, IMO. Sometimes, to be gently reminded that another man finds me attractive, is nice and if my DH knows it, all the better . Since taking my vows 16 years ago, I believe "I can look -- but I can't touch".... there's no one else I'd rather touch, anyway.

But, I think it's a bit of a stretch to call flirting in the workplace "sexual harassment" -- sexual harassment is a very real and terrible thing, completely demoralizing to say the least. But, the key here, is the sexual comments/advances must be "unwanted" -- two grown adults doing a little flirting at the office does not warrant "sexual harassment".

Here's the official definition from the US EEOC. "Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment. The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome."

 

[tinkntraining]

I think it depends on your definition of innocent.
My DH and I are both big flirts. I know about his and he know about mine. We flirt in front of each other. That's innocent.
I flirt with my bff's DH and she flirts with my man.
We also are friends with this other couple, he is always flirting with me and me with him. He even goes so far as to kiss me on the lips. Both DH and his wife are fine with it because they both know how goofy we are. But when we are out in public we tame it down so that others don't wonder. Our innocent is done more in private....KWIM?

It's when the other doesn't know that it becomes temptation and not innocent.

To each to his own, but even little ole' liberal me, thinks this goes a little farther than "innocent flirting". If my DH kissed another woman on the lips in front of me (big flirts that we are) I'd be kicking someone's ***.

 

[Tink888]

I think everyone has their own definition of flirting. I joke, laugh and kid around with my manager all the time. I like kidding around with guys in general - guys are easy to be friends with and it's nice sometimes to get the male attention. I'm not even remotely interested in taking it any further than that.

My husband has always been a huge flirt too. It doesn't bother me. I think we're both pretty secure in our relationship. At the end of day, we chose eachother, we're telling eachother all our thoughts, we're committed to being in our marriage together and neither of us would do anything to jeopardize that. It's nice getting attention from the opposite sex sometimes, and it's nice too even when my DH is getting the attention - it reinforces to me what a great guy he is. As long as you aren't hiding anything from your spouse and you aren't crossing any boundaries - I see nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting once in a while.

 

[Papa Deuce]

If they would act the same in front of their spouses and children, I'd say it is harmless. If not, it's not.

Of course, like you said, I'd also MMOB.

See, I could flirt in front of my wife and be A-OK, and so would she.... but no way could I flirt in front of my kids.

 

[tinkntraining]

I think everyone has their own definition of flirting. I joke, laugh and kid around with my manager all the time. I like kidding around with guys in general - guys are easy to be friends with and it's nice sometimes to get the male attention. I'm not even remotely interested in taking it any further than that.

My husband has always been a huge flirt too. It doesn't bother me. I think we're both pretty secure in our relationship. At the end of day, we chose eachother, we're telling eachother all our thoughts, we're committed to being in our marriage together and neither of us would do anything to jeopardize that. It's nice getting attention from the opposite sex sometimes, and it's nice too even when my DH is getting the attention - it reinforces to me what a great guy he is. As long as you aren't hiding anything from your spouse and you aren't crossing any boundaries - I see nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting once in a while.

Great minds "tink" alike,

 

[Michelle67]

We also are friends with this other couple, he is always flirting with me and me with him. He even goes so far as to kiss me on the lips.

I have a really good male friend that I always give a big hug and a quick kiss whenever I see him. We've been close friends for over 20 years. Before my husband and I got married, I asked him if it bothered him for me to hug and kiss Pete when I see him. He gave me a really blank look and said "Ummmmm, you guy have been friends since you were like 19, right? I figure if you'd wanted him you would have been with him long before now, and I wouldn't have had a chance in the first place." That really only applies to that one friend, though. At my most recent job the entire crew I worked with were males, and so all my work friends were guys. My husband had no problem with me talking to or about them, no problem if I went and got coffee or dinner with one of them, and no problem if one of them emailed me or called me outside of work. But if I'd started laying kisses on them there would have been a BIG problem.

 

[Master Mason]

..has no place in the workplace..its called sexual harrassement...solicited or not..

A little flirting never hurt anyone, IMO. Sometimes, to be gently reminded that another man finds me attractive, is nice and if my DH knows it, all the better . Since taking my vows 16 years ago, I believe "I can look -- but I can't touch".... there's no one else I'd rather touch, anyway.

But, I think it's a bit of a stretch to call flirting in the workplace "sexual harassment" -- sexual harassment is a very real and terrible thing, completely demoralizing to say the least. But, the key here, is the sexual comments/advances must be "unwanted" -- two grown adults doing a little flirting at the office does not warrant "sexual harassment".

Here's the official definition from the US EEOC. "Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment. The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome."

Exactly and it get's really old with people yelling sexual harrasment about things that are not sexual harrasment, it is just like crying wolf, if it happens about nothing when it is serious people will no longer be willing to listen.

 

[aprilgail2]

..has no place in the workplace..its called sexual harrassement...solicited or not..

thats a big joke where I work- if one of the guys puts his arm on one of the girls the boss will say "hey no unwated touching" and they both say "its ok, its wanted"- as does everyone else- where I work is mainly male with about 3 or 4 females and everyone there flirts- been flirting with the same guys for 20+ years now and that is as far as it goes, we know when to stop!