Inlaws REFUSE to go

[photobob]

Consider yourself lucky!

I was thinking the same thing!! You have invited them, they have refused, don't have to invite them again!!

 

[photobob]

One of my girlfriends spent three weeks backpacking through the mountains last year. The scenery was, she says and I believe, incredible. She LOVED it - it was a dream trip. Nature, good company (her grown up daughter), little towns to get supplies, pitching a tent, endless stars in the sky, being exhausted when you crawl into your sleeping bag at night, a feeling of accomplishment. Away from phones and work.

And while I am very happy for her, and the scenery does sound lovely, it sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me.

My advice - instead of thinking that someone else's dislike of something you love (even the idea of it) is a personal insult - instead think of something that person has a passion for that you just don't "get." Fishing. Designer Shoes. Oscar winning drama. Monster truck rallies. Running marathons. And remind yourself that you enjoy them despite their passion for something you don't get - and that they likely feel the same about you. And how BORED you get when they try and share a passion with you that you aren't that into. ("A six point buck? Really? How interesting." "Yes, that is a very nice purse.")

Very well said!

 

[stopher1]

One of my girlfriends spent three weeks backpacking through the mountains last year. The scenery was, she says and I believe, incredible. She LOVED it - it was a dream trip. Nature, good company (her grown up daughter), little towns to get supplies, pitching a tent, endless stars in the sky, being exhausted when you crawl into your sleeping bag at night, a feeling of accomplishment. Away from phones and work.

And while I am very happy for her, and the scenery does sound lovely, it sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me.

My advice - instead of thinking that someone else's dislike of something you love (even the idea of it) is a personal insult - instead think of something that person has a passion for that you just don't "get." Fishing. Designer Shoes. Oscar winning drama. Monster truck rallies. Running marathons. And remind yourself that you enjoy them despite their passion for something you don't get - and that they likely feel the same about you. And how BORED you get when they try and share a passion with you that you aren't that into. ("A six point buck? Really? How interesting." "Yes, that is a very nice purse.")

Absolutely fantastic response. I've been on both sides of this equation, and yes, on the receiving end of something you don't find appealing can be very, very B - O - R - I - N - G. But at the same time, when I'm relating my excitement about something and see that same look of boredom in so & so's eyes... I know that that just aren't as passionate about said excitement as I am, and then I change the subject.

As we have told our children throughout the years... everybody's different! Not everyone's going to like exactly the same things you do.

 

[TDC Nala]

You can't force them to go, or force them to love it. They'd probably block any thought of loving it if they feel like they were forced to go.

 

[MinnieGi]

I am sure after reading all these responses you have moved on to the "thank goodness they said no" category!!

We invited my in-laws once too...they stuck like glue all day and all night! It was NOT enjoyable.

 

[Lancer]

Forgive me if I missed this somewhere, but, did you try showing them photos of your previous trips? A pic of the MK carousel? Perhaps on your upcoming trip, assuming the inlaws do not go, you can take video of various shows, parades, world showcase etc. This would help you to show them that there is more to Disney than just rides. Who knows, they may want to join you on your next trip.

 

[appleorchard]

Oh my gosh--I had to laugh at the carousel. I grew up in North Tonawanda and Lancaster. I have pictures of myself around age 6 on that carousel at Olcott. My dad's company used to hold their picnics there. And one of my brother on the toy cars. Those are the only two rides I remember there!
On the topic at hand--I'm the in-law who always wants to have the kids come with us, so I can't imagine the other way around! My son and DIL just took the "other" mother in law--we went with them 4 years ago. I don't know if we'll ever get another "turn"--we've offered to take just the kids in a few years, but we'll see. It's hard to have this wonderful thing to offer people and have them refuse it. I'm going with my daughter, SIL and granddaughter in March. The sad thing is, I've been to Disney with my sister and her grandson way more than I've been there with my own.

 

[OhioDVC]

Take it from someone who takes his in-laws all the time. Don't worry about them! Go with your family and enjoy it. Let the nay-Sayers stay at home.

 

[kjm4]

I understand your frustration. We have taken my parents seperately a few times over the years. They never go together because they worry about boarding their dog. I would love for them to go together once while they are still in good health but I realize it probably isn't going to happen. The pictures I have of them with the kids at Disney are priceless and I am thankful I have them.

 

[Cee]

crisi....I love that so much.

 

[n2mm]

OP, should be happy that you at least offered. I would love to take my sister, but she won't fly, so I know she'll never go. I've taken a few relatives with us on our Disney trips and you learn so much when you do that.....you learn which ones to never ask to go again.....

 

[a742246]

This is exactly the scenario that I worry would happen. Thanks for this info. This sounds EXACTLY like them. Except that they complain a lot even to begin with, I can't imagine how bad it would be when they got tired. Okay, I'm moving on from the acceptance step to the Thank god they said no step.

Your third step of healing is:

With your drink in your hand, sitting at a pool, being relaxed, feeling
well .....great!

Now you raise your glass to the stars and say "Thank you".

When you get home you quietly take your inlaws aside and say "your right you probably wouldn't have liked it" (you have to say this so they don"t feel guilty of not going and this completes the healing process).

Remember, next year don't put your inlaws thru this again. LOL

 

[Brian Noble]

I grew up in North Tonawanda and Lancaster. I have pictures of myself around age 6 on that carousel at Olcott. My dad's company used to hold their picnics there. And one of my brother on the toy cars. Those are the only two rides I remember there!

And something like that might be why the OP's parents will always love that carousel, no matter what. I have similar recollections of my kids' "home park", and I would not trade them for the world.

 

[DisneyRegulars]

Oh my gosh--I had to laugh at the carousel. I grew up in North Tonawanda and Lancaster. I have pictures of myself around age 6 on that carousel at Olcott. My dad's company used to hold their picnics there. And one of my brother on the toy cars. Those are the only two rides I remember there!
On the topic at hand--I'm the in-law who always wants to have the kids come with us, so I can't imagine the other way around! My son and DIL just took the "other" mother in law--we went with them 4 years ago. I don't know if we'll ever get another "turn"--we've offered to take just the kids in a few years, but we'll see. It's hard to have this wonderful thing to offer people and have them refuse it. I'm going with my daughter, SIL and granddaughter in March. The sad thing is, I've been to Disney with my sister and her grandson way more than I've been there with my own.

Funny that you recognized the carousel!

One of the things that surprised me most about their refusal is that we often go on vacation with my family, at least once if not twice a year. My inlaws are constantly complaining that we never go on vacation with them. They like to play the "you like her family more than us" card. They live 0.6 miles away, we see them all the time. My parents currently live in Ghana, so we see them rarely (usually just on vacation). At least now that we've offered to take them, we can stop them short when they start ranting about us not vacationing with them.

 

[dianeschlicht]

One of the things that surprised me most about their refusal is that we often go on vacation with my family, at least once if not twice a year. My inlaws are constantly complaining that we never go on vacation with them. They like to play the "you like her family more than us" card. They live 0.6 miles away, we see them all the time. My parents currently live in Ghana, so we see them rarely (usually just on vacation). At least now that we've offered to take them, we can stop them short when they start ranting about us not vacationing with them.

LOL! I like that....We TRIED to go on vacation with you, but you refused. Sounds like a good one to me!

 

[shalom]

r just imagine a really crappy carousel)

Heh. We are carousel fans, and that is pretty sad. Although not as bad as the one in Downtown Disney, which my kids liked anyhow. Still, I expect Brian's right and they have some kind of emotional attachment to it -- dreaming of taking their grandkids there or something. And they might not be that excited about the Magic Kingdom carousel -- my carousel-loving kids didn't think it was that big a deal because all the horses are white.

My parents -- well, my dad -- are totally disinterested in WDW, because it's in Florida, and he hates Florida. I'm hoping I can lure him in with offers of mid-winter golf or something. We've invited them along before and really enjoy them, not least because they're cool with everyone going their own way. I hate vacationing with them, however, because dad's a commando vacationer and I prefer things much more laid back, so it may be dad's real fear is that we'd be doing Disney in my dawdling style.

Maybe I should try again, only this time offer him a schedule where he and hubby can go commando and the rest of us do our own thing.

It's my belief that anyone could enjoy a Disney vacation that was designed for them -- not to say that it'd be the perfect vacation for people who prefer hiking far from civilization, but everyone I know who does that is good with other stuff that you can do around WDW, and many of their family members would love a vacation involving a real bed every night for a change. But no one will enjoy a Disney vacation if they refuse to enjoy it, and some people are just that way when it comes to something different/they consider tacky/they weren't the ones to think of.

 

[dizfan]

Dealt with many who had an opinion without ever visiting WDW.

The line I've used for years is to point out that WDW is 47 square miles.

When traveling with adults who are 75% set against Disney, we try to plan a trip around F&W, MNSSHP, or pre-Christmas December. IMHO, there is just a little bit more magic for the non-ride person during those periods.

 

[goofydad99]

Disney isn't for everyone.

We had a treehouse villa over Christmas to ourselves because no one was interested in going with us. We stopped inviting people. It's what it is. We have an amazing time on our trips and that is what matters.

 

[get_us_to_WDW]

I wouldn't push it. We took my in-laws once (just 3 nights). My MIL was agreeable but my FIL just went along for our sake and hers. They had a nice time and enjoyed themselves, but FIL truly would have been happier at home. He was polite and gracious and went with the flow and thanked us afterwards, but all the while I just sensed he wasn't loving it, which made me feel bad.

In the future I will bring others only if they really want to go and I believe traveling together will enhance both our experiences.

 

[rocketriter]

I'm thinking how lucky you are that they're speaking out. Now you're under no obligation to host them, maybe pay for them, and drag them around like an anchor on your own vacation.