Inappropriate Coworkers (long post)

[Microcell]

Arte you having a problem because someone your dad's age is making these comments and you prefer to not think of your dad as being sexual? I just thougt I would toss a little Freud in here!

 

[MScott1851]

Number one, Kyle, to address your question...sometimes I think that the older women and men I work with throw out a little TMI to show that they aren't out of the loop, to show that Mamma can still be a freak, etc. I know that some of the stuff that I hear from some of my much older co-workers shocks even me and I'm pretty brazen myself. If he offends you, be very demonstrative...Gasp and clutch your heart and say, "Oh, good lord! Clarence Thomas!!! Bill Clinton!!!" He'll get the picture if you call him a dirty old man to his face enough. Public shaming has proven to be very effective..

Number two...cut Kyle some slack. We women sit here and make comments ON THE DIS about speedos, male athletes, actors and singers that some of us WORSHIP, the Friday Ladies' Posts, etc. At work, we sit around and pray for the UPS guy to come by so we can drool, we all hope that the cute doctors are on call, etc. I've never worked anywhere that groups of men AND women didn't have a little repartee. It is human nature. I have, however, worked for a man who sexually harrassed all of us, and trust me, there is a big difference.

Hard core feminists flame away, but I don't mind that some of the guys I work with think that I'm 'hot'. You know why? Because they also think that I am smart, strong, a hard worker, pleasant, approachable, and VERY married. Being one doesn't necessarily preclude the rest, and if I got offended whenever one of my patients or co-workers complimented me, I would be branded a battle-axe and my co-workers would avoid me, thereby creating a MUCH more hostile work environment than any supposed 'sexual harrassment' ever could.

Being the "office princess" has it's advantages...This, of course, will spark another totally off subject debate. It might not be fair, but it's just the way it is, sometimes.

 

[Planogirl]

ITA MScott. I was just reading the thread about male Olympic swimmers and I thoroughly enjoyed it. In all fairness, I couldn't tell men to not say the same things about women.

If the guy is getting too lewd then just tell him to not be lewd. He sounds like he is way overdoing it but still trying to join in.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

My thing is not that it is being said. I understand "guy talk", but it is being done at the work place. And it seems the only way to make the older guy stop is to make everyone stop. Either they can all talk that way (with possible consequences) or they can't. I think a gray area on this subject could be risky. JMHO.

Back to the male swimmers thread.

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by MScott1851
Number one, Kyle, to address your question...sometimes I think that the older women and men I work with throw out a little TMI to show that they aren't out of the loop, to show that Mamma can still be a freak, etc. I know that some of the stuff that I hear from some of my much older co-workers shocks even me and I'm pretty brazen myself. If he offends you, be very demonstrative...Gasp and clutch your heart and say, "Oh, good lord! Clarence Thomas!!! Bill Clinton!!!" He'll get the picture if you call him a dirty old man to his face enough. Public shaming has proven to be very effective..

Number two...cut Kyle some slack. We women sit here and make comments ON THE DIS about speedos, male athletes, actors and singers that some of us WORSHIP, the Friday Ladies' Posts, etc. At work, we sit around and pray for the UPS guy to come by so we can drool, we all hope that the cute doctors are on call, etc. I've never worked anywhere that groups of men AND women didn't have a little repartee. It is human nature. I have, however, worked for a man who sexually harrassed all of us, and trust me, there is a big difference.

Hard core feminists flame away, but I don't mind that some of the guys I work with think that I'm 'hot'. You know why? Because they also think that I am smart, strong, a hard worker, pleasant, approachable, and VERY married. Being one doesn't necessarily preclude the rest, and if I got offended whenever one of my patients or co-workers complimented me, I would be branded a battle-axe and my co-workers would avoid me, thereby creating a MUCH more hostile work environment than any supposed 'sexual harrassment' ever could.

Being the "office princess" has it's advantages...This, of course, will spark another totally off subject debate. It might not be fair, but it's just the way it is, sometimes.

I agree with this I wouldn't have an issue with what they're doing however, Kyle is the one that's decided this guys behavior is inappropriate. One of the easiest ways to stop the guy is to stop the behavior completely for everyone. As you said, He's probably doing it to fit in and/or for shock value. I do this kind of thing at work and with my friends but if any of our behavior crossed the line it would have to stop.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Originally posted by CEDmom
I agree with this I wouldn't have an issue with what they're doing however, Kyle is the one that's decided this guys behavior is inappropriate. One of the easiest ways to stop the guy is to stop the behavior completely for everyone. As you said, He's probably doing it to fit in and/or for shock value. I do this kind of thing at work and with my friends but if any of our behavior crossed the line it would have to stop.

You set the tone as manager, Kyle. You do it, others do it. The old guy is even trying to do it to a greater degree, to either 'be cool, one of the guys' with you younger guys, or the guy is just a nutjob, as JibJab would say.

What is allowed by management has a reflection on the entire operation. Not unlike here in the past. You may recall when some pushed and pushed the envelope till it was bringing the place down as a desirable place to visit. The owner finally said enough is enough (after proper warnings), there 's the door. And it makes for a better place for everyone.

You are in such a position, Kyle, to set an example of what you expect from your operation there, do it.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy
You set the tone as manager, Kyle. You do it, others do it. The old guy is even trying to do it to a greater degree, to either 'be cool, one of the guys' with you younger guys, or the guy is just a nutjob, as JibJab would say.

What is allowed by management has a reflection on the entire operation. Not unlike here in the past. You may recall when some pushed and pushed the envelope till it was bringing the place down as a desirable place to visit. The owner finally said enough is enough (after proper warnings), there 's the door. And it makes for a better place for everyone.

You are in such a position, Kyle, to set an example of what you expect from your operation there, do it.

ITA! In my past jobs, managers, supervisors, etc. are not associating in such a way with the employees working for them. There's a definite line. They are the ones telling the employees to knock it off when they hear it! And if it's guys in their 20s, say no more. I'm sure the "old" guy is trying to fit in.

 

[caitycaity]

My thing is not that it is being said. I understand "guy talk", but it is being done at the work place. And it seems the only way to make the older guy stop is to make everyone stop. Either they can all talk that way (with possible consequences) or they can't. I think a gray area on this subject could be risky. JMHO.

nothing wrong with flirting, repartee, whatever you want to call it, unless it's done in the work place and causing problems, which kyle's scenario is.

i love how if you make the comment that you think it should stop, suddenly, you're a feminazi.

 

[gometros]

Sorry, but there is a clear distinction between harmless girl watching and sexual innuendo. Whatever the motive of the other guy is, he crossed that line and if he doesn't know the difference, then his attempts to fit in have failed. I think some of you are being way too harsh on Kyle and should be directing the critisicm at what theis guy is saying. Don't place the blame for his lack of couth on the rest of the group. None of them seem to feel a need to get so descriptive, why should he?