In search of my body...not the one I ate!

[Dizneydawn]

Now - a little about me, I am 36, single and well fat...

I am so glad you joined us over here and that you can laugh with yourself and I am looking forward to this year....growing into our better selves...not bigger pants!

 

[VernRDH]

I am so jealous of your trip...can't wait to hear all about it!! Are we wanting kids from this trip?? I had a great friend who got a free cruise from Tupperware and her souveniegr (sp?) was Brecken!! The whole motion of the ocean ya know!!!

Not only NO, but he!! NO!!! I'll take the motion of the ocean , but I just got my Depo shot, so I can have all the fun without the "souvenirs"!!!

 

[HockeyKat]

I am an anti-"souvenir" girl myself...

Thank for the welcomes!!

About me:
I am Kat, married, no children, just turned 32, and have a lifelong problem with weight. I started last February at 218 (my highest weight), got down to about 175 in Aug 2007, but was 183 as of this morning.

I was heavy in high school, lost down to 145 in college, gained 40 when I graduated, lost again down to 145 about 9 years back, and maintained that loss within 10 lbs until 4 years ago when I started dating my husband. 3 years later, I found myself almost 75 lbs heavier. 35 of that is now gone but I still have 35 more to go. At 5'8", I think 145-150 is a reasonable goal...

Anyhow, looking forward to losing and laughing!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hi everyone...just getting on and feel like I have been gone forever. Yesterday our internet server was down in the area we live and did not come back up till today! Thank You God!

Here is 2 day's of heck condensed:


Yesterday at school ended up worse than expected. Ty confronted both Jenna and Treyner and long story short...flipped out and at the and said "I am going to Shoot you" while putting his hand in the shape of a gun and pointing it at his head.

This was caught on video surveillance the school has...Ty had to meet with his mom and the school police officer liason toady with school officials. His parents both seem to be supportive that he is in the wrong and is out of control. He is suspended until Monaday...the school will try and get him moved to an alternative source for school and he is probably kicked out of wrestling (conduct unbecoming of an athlete) besides and is mandatorily being sent to professional counseling.

We got Jenna and Treyner restraining orders against both boys ( Ty is definantley more physical but Nate is not staying away from it 100% either) and I am exhausted. Treyner has been really emotional and the school said he and Jenna did not have to come back after we spent the morning dealing with this crap. They went to the zoo and enjoyed just being kids again.

I have been pretty good with eating I think...have not been to a fast food restaurant since 3 weeks ago. No pop since New Years Eve except 1 small glass. I have to get back to measuring again tomm. and entering my food at Fit Day.

I got a digital scale and it weighed a little different than the old one. (249) Said I was 255 on Saturday and this morning said I was down to 251.4. So I will adjust my ticker to the higher number (remember I got Aunt Flo visiting as well so I am sure that is a little also! )

But no huge binges! It is Baylor's B-day today and I did enjoy a piece of cake (LOVE SAM's Club butter cream frosting...so amazing) and ate a small plate of food with everyone else...but did not snack earlier and did not want to feel deprieved because my emotions may have taken over and I did not want a splurge day. I feel good actually.

Thanks again for all the well wishes...I wil be back on track for tomm. Feel so tired...going to head to bed early.

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hey Dizney Dawn,

Thanks for the update. I was begining to worry... Glad to hear that Ty is getting some help and that his parents are on board with helping him improve his behavior.

Great job on dealing with everything life threw at you and not chowing down. If it were me, I'm sure I would have scarfed down the entire birthday cake by now. So kudos to you!!!!

Hang in there... We are all here to support each other...

Goof

 

[grumpyyoungguy]

Hi all, Are we all ladies at this point? I am an almost psychologist finishing my final classes for my Ph.D and beginning my dissertation. I've been specializing in drug education for 12 years. Part of that work is all about why we behave the way we do and how it relates to the brain and the body. While many of my colleagues specialize in the dealing with our past, I specialize in being proactive, facing our obstacles and how to hurdle over them. While I obviously cannot be a practicing therapist on this thread, I'd be happy to offer myself as the thread counselor and help us all face our obstacles as we figure them out according to our weight goals. As you know I used to own a comedy club, so I'm a little more like Dr. Phil than Dr. Robin. Would that be helpful to anyone?

Well I think I am maybe the only one that may not qualify as a lady

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hey grumps...

Speaking as someone whose best friend is a guy all I can say is welcome to the party...

If nothing else, you'll learn a little more about the inner thoughts of us women folk that will help you later in life...

Goof

 

[HockeyKat]

And then he will run screaming...

DizneyDawn, glad that at least the parents are cooperative, and that your son and his gf are handling this so well. He sounds like a very mature teen.

I can't believe it is only Tuesday. This week seems endless. I have been good so far, haven't gone over 1300 calories since last Tuesday and have made it to the gym every day since Thurs.

I wish I had seen the BL thing before it had already started. I guess I was somewhat avoiding WISH toward the end of the year as I didn't feel warm fuzzies about healthy living.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I have been good so far, haven't gone over 1300 calories since last Tuesday and have made it to the gym every day since Thurs.

Yay for HockeyKat. I wish I could post the same. I've been alittle psycho about my eating and exercising. But, I am gaining in my determination and am making better choices than before. I think I am just about to strike gold with lining up my actions with my thoughts.

Monday night I made the high fiber bean soup that is only 1 ww point per cup. And while it tastes great, I was in agony last night. My husband was laughing and said, "what did you think would happen when you ate 16 cans of beans?"

Dizneydawn, glad things may be under control. It's hard living with unknowns, but at least you didn't eat the whole cake. I would typically eat a normal piece then when everyone went to bed, polish off most of the rest. Next week is my daughters birthday, I'll just have to throw out the cake when done.

Later

Oh yea, I enjoyed the pictures. I'll post one if I can find one.

 

[Dizneydawn]

And then he will run screaming...

DizneyDawn, glad that at least the parents are cooperative, and that your son and his gf are handling this so well. He sounds like a very mature teen.

I can't believe it is only Tuesday. This week seems endless. I have been good so far, haven't gone over 1300 calories since last Tuesday and have made it to the gym every day since Thurs.

I wish I had seen the BL thing before it had already started. I guess I was somewhat avoiding WISH toward the end of the year as I didn't feel warm fuzzies about healthy living.

I understand that avoidance factor!!! Are you sure that 1300 is enough calories??? Go to Fit Day and calculate them to make sure you don't restrict your body too much...it honestly was a rude awakining for me that I was eating to little and that might cause me to gain.

Thanks for the kind words about Treyner...school will be a weird day for him...everyone yesterday was gossiping and the rumours were he shot someone or was shot...Carsyn had that brunt and was reassuring people the truth.

Weigh in on Thursday guys!! I lost .8 from yesterday so I am glad the cake didn't win!!!

Question of the day for you guys????
What place would you like to see yourself visiting and what would you be wearing at goal weight?? (location like city...country...etc...not Brad Pitt's bedroom ...sorry to ruin that part of your imagination!!!) I just want us to visualize ourselves and picture us in a place to help drive a goal and a feeling we will have at goal.

For me...I would love to be in Tuscany...walking a cobblestone road amongst a quaint town's shops...wearing a white, cotton, peasant shirt with the neck line open and off the shoulder. This would be accompanied by a pair of killer, dark wash, jeans and some beautiful red, stiletto, open toe, pumps. I would have silver hoop earings with a few silver bangle bracelets. Make-up on but suttle.

I love casual chic and kind of a bohemian flair and mix it with some rockin pieces to allow yourself to go from day to evening with a little darker make-up and maybe a quick up-do.

"Under the Tuscan Sun" ....totally and her style...completely me down to the curly hair. I have that movie and before it was made...envisioned exactly that type of lifestyle when I am done raising my kids...I should print out pic's of her to my fridge for support....well maybe the Italian guy she meets

Okay so start typing...curious about your dream destinations...and your dream picture of yourself!

 

[milestogo]

Hi all, Well, glad to hear that you've made some progress Dawn and that it didn't trigger a massive binge.

I've spent the last two days lecturing up in Los Angeles to 2 groups of 60 5th and 6th graders. On my way home I stopped at Kmart to pick up the mini trampoline. I've tried to get it so many times and I always walk in to find it sold out. This time I walked in and it was the first item sitting at the front door and then nobody was in line to check out. It was meant to be for me!!! Brought it home and DD4 wouldn't get off of it. She had to take each of her Pooh characters on it to jump. We'll see if I get a chance to do it this week.

I've been trying to get very active with speed walking the 5K's this year, but I need knee surgery and its hurting. So, I think the tramp will help me stay physically active without the impact of the pavement on my knee. I did my first 5K last Sept at DL, then another for Breast Cancer in Newport Beach. We put together a group of girlfriends who never get to see each other and decided we could get together to walk these 5K's. We have another in Huntington Beach next month and another in Orlando (The Minnie) in May before leaving for the Panama Canal Cruise.

So, that is my excercise plan, but I will make a commitment to increase my abs workout. When I do a very simple ab workout even for a few minutes a day, my back feels so much better, so I must commit to sustain it on a regular basis with no excuses. Especially since we know that muscle burns more fat than dieting.

I always have obstacles in my schedule to prevent me from excercising the way I should! As a mom, student, full time job everything comes first - does that sound familiar? The excercise obstacle is the subject I am proposing to all of us this week.... what are our obstacles? How can we make 5 min. to do one excercise every day (even if it's on the kitchen floor in between loading the dishwasher!) My excercise will be that I do 5 minutes of stretching and abs every day no matter what! No special clothes, no special shoes, no sports bra, just making it happen. What will you do?

 

[milestogo]

Ideal vision:
I don't want my arms to look fat during the hot weather on the PC cruise this May!!!!!!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Hmmmm, I guess I'll narrow it down. (I live more in my head than I do in real life.)

1. Disney World, no brainer right.
2. Shopping at a mall, with a scarf on. (My inlaws wear scarves, not to keep warm, the kind you buy just as an accessory and they look so put together. If I wore a scarf, it'd look like I was trying to pop my head off of my body.) Shopping in the designer section and looking like I belonged.
3. Beach. Sleeping in the sun and my upper arms wouldn't look like they were ready to take flight.

 

[Dizneydawn]

I always have obstacles in my schedule to prevent me from excercising the way I should! As a mom, student, full time job everything comes first - does that sound familiar? The excercise obstacle is the subject I am proposing to all of us this week.... what are our obstacles? How can we make 5 min. to do one excercise every day (even if it's on the kitchen floor in between loading the dishwasher!) My excercise will be that I do 5 minutes of stretching and abs every day no matter what! No special clothes, no special shoes, no sports bra, just making it happen. What will you do?

I need to start stretching too. Even while watching a 30 minute TV show...if I stretch during the commercials...would hel so much...I used to be a super flexible...limbo queen...gymnastics hottie....and now...not so much. More like the Queen of hippo's. You don't exactly vision a hippo being very flexible do ya?? I mean now a giraffe that screams sexy jungle godess...the lion speaks volumes about regal refinement and dignity....but the hippo....just says watch out and if you get in the way of my food...I will put a hurt on you with these big chompers I reepeat...not flexible or sexy. But I gotta say...the girl can pack some junk in the trunk!!

I know if I do the excersizes right away in the early a.m. less excuses I can give...need to get to bed earlier and get up earlier so I can excersize by 6 a.m. Get kids breakfast at 7 and shower to start my work day by 8:30 after dropping them off at school etc..

Need to get a routine and work the routine. To get my calender in check is my goal for today!!!

Thanks for the motivation and mirror check of what is not going right!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hmmmm, I guess I'll narrow it down. (I live more in my head than I do in real life.)

1. Disney World, no brainer right.
2. Shopping at a mall, with a scarf on. (My inlaws wear scarves, not to keep warm, the kind you buy just as an accessory and they look so put together. If I wore a scarf, it'd look like I was trying to pop my head off of my body.) Shopping in the designer section and looking like I belonged.
3. Beach. Sleeping in the sun and my upper arms wouldn't look like they were ready to take flight.

Okay so I about peed myself and since I have a lunch mtg in 45 minutes and need to head out 10 minutes ago...that is not a good look.

You are so funny!! I am totally envious of the scarf look too. I keep thinking it will only hold up my 2nd and possibly 3rd chin so I would look like those African tribes with the 20 tight neck stretching rings they wear!!

I would like to be at Disney with less lugage too...have a super funny story to tell you in a little bit...it involes a water ride and a lifeguard saying..."That's not supposed to happen!"
I will keep ya in suspense until I get back this afternoon!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

bump

 

[goofyfan-12]

DiZDawn... What are you, the last episode of the Sopranos or something.... no fair for leaving us hanging like that... Just kidding... hope the meeting went well..

My ideal setting and look.....

I would say that if I could feel comfortable in summer clothes again I would be happy (you know all of those wobbly bits would be not so wobbly and don't get me started on that whole upper arm thing...), but if I had to choose, I would be walking along the streets of Capri (an island off the cost of Italy) looking like I just stepped out of the fashion mags in the perfect crisp, white linen pants, with a coordinating blouse and cute sandals and bag. My accessories would be simple with a great Pucci scarf to give it just a pop of color....

Now - I have my image, I just have to get there... Who's in?

 

[HockeyKat]

I understand that avoidance factor!!! Are you sure that 1300 is enough calories??? Go to Fit Day and calculate them to make sure you don't restrict your body too much...it honestly was a rude awakining for me that I was eating to little and that might cause me to gain.

Thanks for the kind words about Treyner...school will be a weird day for him...everyone yesterday was gossiping and the rumours were he shot someone or was shot...Carsyn had that brunt and was reassuring people the truth.

Weigh in on Thursday guys!! I lost .8 from yesterday so I am glad the cake didn't win!!!

Question of the day for you guys????
What place would you like to see yourself visiting and what would you be wearing at goal weight?? (location like city...country...etc...not Brad Pitt's bedroom ...sorry to ruin that part of your imagination!!!) I just want us to visualize ourselves and picture us in a place to help drive a goal and a feeling we will have at goal.

For me...I would love to be in Tuscany...walking a cobblestone road amongst a quaint town's shops...wearing a white, cotton, peasant shirt with the neck line open and off the shoulder. This would be accompanied by a pair of killer, dark wash, jeans and some beautiful red, stiletto, open toe, pumps. I would have silver hoop earings with a few silver bangle bracelets. Make-up on but suttle.

I love casual chic and kind of a bohemian flair and mix it with some rockin pieces to allow yourself to go from day to evening with a little darker make-up and maybe a quick up-do.

"Under the Tuscan Sun" ....totally and her style...completely me down to the curly hair. I have that movie and before it was made...envisioned exactly that type of lifestyle when I am done raising my kids...I should print out pic's of her to my fridge for support....well maybe the Italian guy she meets

Okay so start typing...curious about your dream destinations...and your dream picture of yourself!

I use sparkpeople.com to track calories and fitness... they say 1200-1500 for me, and I have found in the past 1200-1300 works great for me (well, at least if I stick to it!!!).

Also, I think that 1200-1300 and I am allowing for a cushion just in case something I ate goes over, and for an occasional splurge on the weekend.

My dream body would be the blonde from 40 yr old virgin, but not her personality or preferences (LOL).

Dream destination is anywhere on a beach or by a pool with a good-looking pool boy to bring me margaritas. In a bikini, of course, a small one that looks fab.

I do Friday weigh-ins, from another thread, so I will just post mine on Fridays if that's okay.

Hi all, Well, glad to hear that you've made some progress Dawn and that it didn't trigger a massive binge.

I've spent the last two days lecturing up in Los Angeles to 2 groups of 60 5th and 6th graders. On my way home I stopped at Kmart to pick up the mini trampoline. I've tried to get it so many times and I always walk in to find it sold out. This time I walked in and it was the first item sitting at the front door and then nobody was in line to check out. It was meant to be for me!!! Brought it home and DD4 wouldn't get off of it. She had to take each of her Pooh characters on it to jump. We'll see if I get a chance to do it this week.

I've been trying to get very active with speed walking the 5K's this year, but I need knee surgery and its hurting. So, I think the tramp will help me stay physically active without the impact of the pavement on my knee. I did my first 5K last Sept at DL, then another for Breast Cancer in Newport Beach. We put together a group of girlfriends who never get to see each other and decided we could get together to walk these 5K's. We have another in Huntington Beach next month and another in Orlando (The Minnie) in May before leaving for the Panama Canal Cruise.

So, that is my excercise plan, but I will make a commitment to increase my abs workout. When I do a very simple ab workout even for a few minutes a day, my back feels so much better, so I must commit to sustain it on a regular basis with no excuses. Especially since we know that muscle burns more fat than dieting.

I always have obstacles in my schedule to prevent me from excercising the way I should! As a mom, student, full time job everything comes first - does that sound familiar? The excercise obstacle is the subject I am proposing to all of us this week.... what are our obstacles? How can we make 5 min. to do one excercise every day (even if it's on the kitchen floor in between loading the dishwasher!) My excercise will be that I do 5 minutes of stretching and abs every day no matter what! No special clothes, no special shoes, no sports bra, just making it happen. What will you do?

My main obstacle is laziness. My couch is WAAAY more attractive than those mean old machines.

I always say I suffer from a disease called chronic inertia... tendency of a being on the couch to remain on the couch. But, once I get going, I can keep going. So lunchtime workouts work best for me. I am already awake and in "work" mode, plus the gym is better than sitting at my desk.

Morning just isn't going to happen. I shouldn't even have a license to drive before 10AM. I peeeeel my lazy butt off the bed about 15 min before the last possible minute that I have to leave before being 15 min late for work.

After work, the pull of the couch is just too strong to resist.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I always say I suffer from a disease called chronic inertia... tendency of a being on the couch to remain on the couch. But, once I get going, I can keep going. So lunchtime workouts work best for me. I am already awake and in "work" mode, plus the gym is better than sitting at my desk.

Morning just isn't going to happen. I shouldn't even have a license to drive before 10AM. I peeeeel my lazy butt off the bed about 15 min before the last possible minute that I have to leave before being 15 min late for work.

I am not a morning person either. My day really starts around 3pm and I can get so much done after that. Before that, I am a slug.

 

[Dizneydawn]

they are not very clear, I went a little extreme with the resizing, but 30 minutes later, I'm not doing it all again.


My daughters. 11 year old Molli and 4 year old Maddi. (with absolutely no plans for any more, thank you very much.)

I am super proud of my girls. They behave well in public. At home, not so much, but I haven't thrown them in the creek yet.

Now...for...me...
The first picture is a good picture of me. (like I'm gonna randomly have bad ones on my computer!) I wish I looked like this in real life. I am standing just right, professional fat girl here. It was taken in May at the Coca Cola 600. I was probably 5 lbs lighter here. So this is at 189. It doesn't look like it. But it is. (I need to take a straight on, sitting down, picture for the full effect.)

And just to be fair, the second picture of me is one my 4 year old took, unknown to me, while I was washing dishes. You get a good visulation of the tank that follows me around.

Ahemmm....can I get a microscope to go with the pictures please...as for the tank comment...at least yours is a weapon that fires (although now thinking of it ...I hope it doesn't while I am in the vicinity... ) my consistent follower is a tug boat...used to carrying a huge load with only a little toot!