In search of my body...not the one I ate!

[SeptemberGirl]

Again so well said...I get exactly what you mean...taking care of me is so foreign and I have came a long way..my weight is the last hurtle and the final puzzle piece to finding me...maybe I am afraid of what will be inside this package..if anyone will fnd me valuable enough to stay for thr right reasons not the wrong ones...if a man I gave my love, my children and my earliest life to doesn't love me...if I lose weight and believe in love again and it doesn't work...then I can't say.."I was fat so he was not attracted to me." How screwed up is that...my weight is an excuse I can pull out of my back pocket as to why I am not worthy of a man...because than it is not me that is being rejected...it is my weight...

I have a huge fear that if I lose weight...I lose that blanket...that barrier that prevents me to acknowledge I am beautiful...because what if I think so but noone else does...then I have no lifeline to the reason...just me.

Did I make any sense at all??? I just kept trying to think of why I cling to this weight and I might be peeling back some layers as to why.

It makes total sense. Total, complete sense. Dawn (and everyone else) the failure of others to properly love you is their failure, not yours. We are all worthy of the best, most complete, unconditional love in the world - th love we give to our kids, our families, our friends. Deciding you are worth that love and not accepting anything less is an amazing step. You go, girl!

 

[grumpyyoungguy]

I am so sorry everyone. I think you are all beautiful and deserve some response. I apologize but I must declare DIS bankruptcy and start over from here.

I hope you are all doing well and no major stresses in your life.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Four Jobs I have had in my life
#1 Yogurt Specialist
#2 CPS case worker
#3 School SW
#4 Day Care Provider

Four movies I have watched more than once:
#1 Beaches
#2 Under the Tuscan Sun
#3 North and the South - Minni Series
#4 Red Dawn

Four Places I have lived:
#1 MN
#2 IA
#3 NE
#4 MN - again and here to stay..for now

Four TV shows I watch:
#1 Girls Next Door
#2 Rock of Love
#3 Housewives of Orange County
#4 Any Law and Order
***Can you tell I have limmited attention span...and the fact I am never home on any night consistantly so Reality is always re-running!

Four Places I have Been:
#1 Canada - Ontario - Too many to count
#2 Cancun - 2
#3 Northern Ireland - 1
#4 Florida - to many to count

Four of my Favorite forums:
#1 Dis
#2 Perez Hilton
#3 Local newspaper
#4 Tupperware

Four places I would rather be:

#1 Tuscany
#2 Switzerland
#3 Prague
#4 Germany

Things I am looking forward to this year:
#1 Losing weight
#2 My divorce being over
#3 My trip in Dec to Disney
#4 Growing my business

Areas of Expertise:
#1 Speed Reading
#2 Writing
#3 Good word choices
#4 Cooking

Hidden talents
#1 Things that make you go hmm
#2 relating to people
#3 Picking out clothes for others
#4 creating my own recipies

Guilty Pleasures:

#1 It takes 2
#2 Sugar Cookie w/ frosting
#3 Playing hookie w/ one of my kids and having a date day
#4 Massages

Okay...Thanks Grumps for reminding me....

 

[grumpyyoungguy]

Okay...Thanks Grumps for reminding me....

Always there for my peeps !!!

 

[HockeyKat]

DWD, sorry about quoting... I removed it. That is what I get for not reading closely!!

I think I am coming down with a cold. Boo. However, we finally got the hot tub fixed!! Yay!!!!!

And I made through the weekend and actually had a pretty good day in spite of the cold. We have bonded over attempted to build a new computer.

Food for today:
B: Fiber One (60) + 1/4 cup milk (20), coffee
L: Sandwich (175), 1.5 cup TJ's red pepper and corn chowed (150)
D: 8 oz pork chop (240) stuffed w/ 1 serving stove top and 1/2 slice whitewheat (135), 1/2 can green beans (35), cut up potatoes/onions (150), 1 8 oz glass white wine (140)
Total for today: 1105. Exercise, none. Water, 80 oz or so.

 

[BrcsDisneyPrncs]

DF thought it would be an excellent idea to bring home stray homeless germs after working this weekend, so now we are both stuck home, sick The positive is that it's about 50 degrees already this morning, so i was able to open up windows to air out the germs.

I read through all of the posts that i missed this weekend, and had full intent of responding to some of them, however my head is a bit fuzzy, and i forget the beginning of the post before i get to the end!

I didn't make as bad of decisions as i had expected this weekend, traded french fries for salads, fried things for grilled. I still probably ate MORE than i should have, but at least they weren't horrible things, except... yeast rolls... has anyone ever been to a Roadhouse Steakhouse? If i could sustain life on those yeast rolls alone i would, i swear.

I did treat myself and buy a couple new workout outfits, capris & jackets, and a brand new pair of running sneakers! I also bought my wedding shoes, after much argument with my mother who didn't want me to wear sneakers... hey, i'm already a half inch taller than DF, so heels were out of the question, why are sneakers such a bad idea??? I settled on Sketchers croc like things, they are like ballet slipper crocs with a cross strap that velcroes, i feel we met in the middle on this one, and they are sooooooo comfy!

I can't wait for my treadmill to get here, i downloaded all of the podcasts for the C25K onto my ipod and i can't wait to get started, now i'm just missing the one tiny detail of my treadmill I hope it comes this week, i'm almost down to the exactly 3 month mark

These have been some great pictures posted! As far as the weight distribution goes.... i'm not uneven, but i'm not even i guess, i'm certainly not tiny on top, but i have hips that dwarve mountains, i get those, and what i affectionately refer to as my "sausage fingers" from the German side of my family

I found a bit more motivation, i was cleaning my apartment this weekend and came across a christmas photo of my sister, cousin and I from 6 or 7 years ago, i was either 16 or 17, and i looked so, well, healthy, and happy, fast forward like 65 lbs, to today, I was never tiny growing up, but was always active, i was captain of my cheerleading squad, and was always out doing SOMETHING. THat was a big old slap in the face of, no you aren't 16 anymore, but you aren't 80 either, get your big old butt in gear!

Sorry for this rambly not making sense post, like i said, i'm sick, hopped up on nyquil (ran out of dayquil ) and bored out of my ever loving mind!

 

[UtahMama]

Uh, Hello? Can I HORN in for a second?

I'm the starter of another WISH thread and totally love the Thread Mama here and wanted to propose a little friendly competition...

Let's say the 10 best weigh ins on Dawn's Team vs. the 10 best on the PEEPS team Next Friday is our weigh day (but we can accommodate since we usually weigh less all week and ironically gain on weigh day... DOH!)

What do ya say? Are you up for a little friendly competition?

We sort of kinda need a jump start with our motivation (speaking for myself).

A for HockeyKat, we get her if she loses big...(Just kidding Kat!)


Let me know!

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hi Everyone...

Hope you are all having a good day so far...

To our Disney Bride - I am so sorry that you are not feeling well this morning... Get some rest and feel better soon.... There is a treadmill on its way and you don't want to just look at it when it gets here right... Tell DF to keep his germs (and those that he feels the need to bring home) to himself next time....

I am still stressing big time about the whole job thing. I just don't know what to do. Option A is to stick it out where I am and Option B is to reach out for the next level but along with it comes a move away from my friends and family and I am not sure if I am ready to that. The whole thing is basically eating me up inside and it is taking a lot of effort to not turn to food to comfort myself. I did have a few slip ups this weekend, but they were not too horrible. I have my weigh in tonight and I am admittedly nervous about it, but I think I will always be nervous about my weigh ins so what can I do....

I need to stay away from unplanned sweets or I will self destruct.... of course my mother walks into the house with these deliciously sweet frosted cookies and two of them went into my mouth right after dinner... doh.... Oh well, I did up my walking DVD program to the three mile phase, so I am sure I walked them off with that (or at least I am hoping I did...)

As things become more clear on the job front, I'll keep you posted....

Have a great day everyone...
Goof

By the way - what do you all think about the challenge given to us by the peeps board..... are we ready to take them on and beat them into the ground by our weight loss....

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Uh, Hello? Can I HORN in for a second?

I'm the starter of another WISH thread and totally love the Thread Mama here and wanted to propose a little friendly competition...

Let's say the 10 best weigh ins on Dawn's Team vs. the 10 best on the PEEPS team Next Friday is our weigh day (but we can accommodate since we usually weigh less all week and ironically gain on weigh day... DOH!)

What do ya say? Are you up for a little friendly competition?

We sort of kinda need a jump start with our motivation (speaking for myself).

A for HockeyKat, we get her if she loses big...(Just kidding Kat!)


Let me know!

I'm in! But we keep Kat (whether she gains or loses)!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Hi guys! Thanks for all the umph, honesty and inspiration. It means so, so, much.

I'd like to go thru and specifically say thanks for this point and that point, but, today is a new day and I am moving on. All your points were valid and helpful. I espically like the "I can relate..." because it means: a. there is hope and b. I'm not alone.

Yesterday, I did walk on the treadmill. It was getting so late, but I didn't want to dissappoint you. So, I walked for 20 minutes. Not my best effort, but more than I wanted.

TODAY: I walked on the tm for 30 minutes this morning. And am watching my food and counting the calories. So far so good. Just gotta get thru a very long Monday.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Uh, Hello? Can I HORN in for a second?

I'm the starter of another WISH thread and totally love the Thread Mama here and wanted to propose a little friendly competition...

Let's say the 10 best weigh ins on Dawn's Team vs. the 10 best on the PEEPS team Next Friday is our weigh day (but we can accommodate since we usually weigh less all week and ironically gain on weigh day... DOH!)

What do ya say? Are you up for a little friendly competition?

We sort of kinda need a jump start with our motivation (speaking for myself).

A for HockeyKat, we get her if she loses big...(Just kidding Kat!)


Let me know!

By the way - what do you all think about the challenge given to us by the peeps board..... are we ready to take them on and beat them into the ground by our weight loss....

I'm in! But we keep Kat (whether she gains or loses)!

This is sheer genious I tell you!!

Utah Mama and I spoke last night and this morning and here is what we have decided
#1Since her group out-numbers ours by a landslide...we will do the top 5 weight losers from both teams each week will get credit for the weigh in totals.
#2 Some have more to lose..some less so we will go by percentage lost versus pounds to make it fair.
#3 At the end of the month...we would like to reward the winning team participants something small but meaningful. That would be for the whole team that won...not just those who made the top 5 because we will all have better weeks than others and we all deserve to be a part of the accomplishment because our individual motivation leads to our teams success.

An idea I had would be magnets from the state you are from...we would divide it so not one person is ever sending more than 3 magnets at a time so the expense should be minimal...just a quick note of congratulations and an envelope and you are done....but how cool would it be to see your fridge full of trophys everytime you go to eat!???

Anyway...let me know what you think...I was trying to come up with an idea that would motivate and not cost a bunch and yet connect us all in this battle to a healthier us.

So if you are in...here is what I need...
I will take responsibility for keeping track of addresses and weights starting...
I need you to p.m. me your weight as of last Fridays weigh in...plus your address for the prizes we will be handing out at the end of March.
Please let me know which team you are representing...
Peeps Patrol
vs.
Body Boarders

Then on this Friday...and every Friday here on out...we need you to send me your current weight plus weight loss..and I will send the numbers consolidated to our accountant of numbers and crunchers...

Who will post the top 5 from each team...plus percentage lost for those 5 by Saturday night. This ensures that numbers are all in and he has some time to insure accuracy...

Yes...the accountant will be a "he" who also is in need of weight loss and is willing to work cheap...
okay for free...
and take the blame for screwing up...
and is understanding that if he fails the mission...a butload of women/men who are not the smallest will hunt him down and hurt him like a rabid dog.

Soooooo not kidding actually!

He will remain annonomous for now until he can procure a bullet proof vest to ward off any death threats or failed bribary attempts...in fact maybe a giant mouth lock is better (remember Silence of the Lambs?)...I know some evil people who may send cakes, McD fries, french rolls his direction...

So...who is in...we all can benefit from a fun competition...I think that we have the ability to size up our opponents...

I do agree we should get Hockey Kat and DWD and any others who are on both...since we are smaller and need all the first round draft pics we can get!!!

 

[UtahMama]

Bring it ON!

Hahaha!

As I sit here eating my ONE packet of weight control oatmeal (usually it's 2) and biggie cup of water! I'm half tempted to get on my treadmill...don't make me! LOL.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Who is sexier, smarter, more loved and more wonderful today than all others????
Lets Count to 3...it's
DWD...

She is fine and she is fun...this B-day wish is for our #1!!!

Happy Birthday Beautiful Body Board Babe!!!!!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Hi Everyone.... long time no posts...

II did order a sweet new pair of shoes though as a reward for my upcoming 40 pound loss mark....

Plus - I found out that I am receiving an award in May because I was named one of the 40 under forty by the local business review newspaper as someone to watch.

YOU ROCK! Congrats on the award! See? Those dumbos at work don't know what they've got right now! Fun shoes!


3DK - I am not worthy to be on the same board as you... The running is transforming you... You go girl!!!!

Aw, Gawrsh....(said in my best Goofy imitation...which is really pathetic! )

DF thought it would be an excellent idea to bring home stray homeless germs after working this weekend, so now we are both stuck home, sick

Sorry you are sick! Just relax and take it easy today. OMG, I would love to be bored out of my mind!

I can't wait for my treadmill to get here, i downloaded all of the podcasts for the C25K onto my ipod and i can't wait to get started, now i'm just missing the one tiny detail of my treadmill I hope it comes this week, i'm almost down to the exactly 3 month mark

I hope you love the program. If you want,there is another thread here on the main WISH boards called C25K...welcome! Come and join us there if you want! It is a great place for support and advice.

Uh, Hello? Can I HORN in for a second?

I'm the starter of another WISH thread and totally love the Thread Mama here and wanted to propose a little friendly competition...

Let's say the 10 best weigh ins on Dawn's Team vs. the 10 best on the PEEPS team Next Friday is our weigh day (but we can accommodate since we usually weigh less all week and ironically gain on weigh day... DOH!)

What do ya say? Are you up for a little friendly competition?

We sort of kinda need a jump start with our motivation (speaking for myself).

A for HockeyKat, we get her if she loses big...(Just kidding Kat!)


Let me know!

I say BRING. IT. ON!

And don't you even look at Kat. She's ours....back off! (I kill myself when I try to be tough! )

Yesterday, I did walk on the treadmill. It was getting so late, but I didn't want to dissappoint you. So, I walked for 20 minutes. Not my best effort, but more than I wanted.

TODAY: I walked on the tm for 30 minutes this morning. And am watching my food and counting the calories. So far so good. Just gotta get thru a very long Monday.

Awesome! See? Now I don't have to unleash my bad-a$$ed self on you! I swear, knowing that I have to report back to the people here makes me get tot he gym when I don't want to! GOOD FOR YOU!

And Happy Birthday!

#1Since her group out-numbers ours by a landslide...we will do the top 5 weight losers from both teams each week will get credit for the weigh in totals.
#2 Some have more to lose..some less so we will go by percentage lost versus pounds to make it fair.
#3 At the end of the month...we would like to reward the winning team participants something small but meaningful. That would be for the whole team that won...not just those who made the top 5 because we will all have better weeks than others and we all deserve to be a part of the accomplishment because our individual motivation leads to our teams success.

An idea I had would be magnets from the state you are from...we would divide it so not one person is ever sending more than 3 magnets at a time so the expense should be minimal...just a quick note of congratulations and an envelope and you are done....but how cool would it be to see your fridge full of trophys everytime you go to eat!???

Anyway...let me know what you think...I was trying to come up with an idea that would motivate and not cost a bunch and yet connect us all in this battle to a healthier us.

Love it, love it, love it! I am SO in! The state magnets are perfect, I think! Cheap, easy, doable, etc. PERFECT! I will PM you all of the relevant info.!

The other thing is, Body Boarders....we have to invade the Peeps thread every once in a while and "trash talk" 'em! We do this on the WISH racing teams and it is a riot. Not really trash talk, mind you....but just in fun and light-hearted, etc...

Great idea all the way around!

As for me...started out the week great and hope to keep it that way! Yesterday we had an AWESOME family day (and since those can go either way, this is a good thing!) I woke up early and got my run in for the day. And let me tell you, babes, that is amazing in itself...it was ZERO out there at 6:30 am and the wind was BRUTAL. I only did 2.5 miles, but the victory was that I was out there!

Anyway, we finally realized that we cannot beat all of this snow, so we might as well join it! We bundled up the kids and hit the slopes for the day! (Yes, it costs a small fortune for a family of 5.) But we all had so much fun! And let me tell you, DH and I were both SORE on the drive home...and I still feel it this morning. My leg muscles are trashed from it! But I consider that a good thing. Anyway, it was just a really great, fun, family day.

I woke up this morning, got the kids off to school without a screaming match and hit the gym for a 4.3 mile run. So I am feeling successful for the day!

Now, this gym that I go to is owned by my friends. And while I really like them, what they charge for this TINY gym is really prohibitive...and everything additional is an up-charge. It is really frustrating. But they are the only gym in town...and I know that if I join the [much cheaper, much larger] gym that is 20+ minutes away, I will never go. Anyway, my friend the owner (former olympic fitness trainer) is a wealth of knowledge, so I talked to him about my plateau and he is going to design a training program for me...and NO, not for free. It is gonna cost a lot, but I decided that I am going to give it a try anyway. Nothing else I am trying seems to be working lately and he guarantees this program. So, that is where I am at now.

Ok, time to get some of my "real" work done. I basically took the whole week-end off from work, so I am behind yet again....*sigh*

Have a great day, everyone!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I do agree we should get Hockey Kat and DWD and any others who are on both...since we are smaller and need all the first round draft pics we can get!!! [/COLOR]

Just wanted to clarify. I'm not officially on the Peeps thread anymore. I tried it a year or more ago. There were so many people, you'd leave your desk and have to catch up with 16 pages of new posts. I didn't have the endurance. I am "officially" a Body Boarder.

Sounds like fun. I'll do my best.

 

[HockeyKat]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DWD!!!

Brcs, I think I am coming down with something too. Sorry you are feeling poorly.

UM, nice to see you here. Love the kitty pic.

I think I have been nominated to stay with this group and not w/ the Peeps. I have been part of the Peeps for almost a year now, but since this group is smaller, Dawn and UM have dueled and Dawn won.

DWD, you have a PM. Sorry you got some of my honesty for today!!

Goof, sorry about the job situation. I am a bad decision maker and agonize over everything, so understand how hard this is.

Erika, you go girl!!

 

[Dizneydawn]

GoofyFan-12
3DisKids
DisneyWorldDelight
Dizneydawn
Grumpyyoungguy (aka Grumps to his friends)

These are who I have confirmed for our
Beat the Peeps -a- Thon!!!

BTW...I just want to say that I snuck a peak at my numbers this morning...251.8 that is down from 254.8 on Friday...
Down 3 pounds!!!

I will see the 240's if it kills me by Friday!!! Yes...249.8 still counts!

But what the heck is up with my numbers ending in .8 every time???Okay..off to do some Tupp stuff....

 

[Dizneydawn]

UM, nice to see you here. Love the kitty pic. Yeah she came and she likes us...she really likes us...Mikey she likes us!!

I think I have been nominated to stay with this group and not w/ the Peeps. I have been part of the Peeps for almost a year now, but since this group is smaller, Dawn and UM have dueled and Dawn won. I would not say it was a duel...more of a throw down...hair pulling...nail biting...(not our own) neked mud wrestling sort of fista cuffs...I promised I would do what I could for Tupp getting some Miss Piggy Tupperware and she broke like a baby I tell ya...

Okay..not really...we both want you and both need you and you can decide...or we both can count you would be the other option as to not make you feel like a traitor to either side??? Let me know...Talk it over with Utah and get back to me...

Who else is in???

 

[goofyfan-12]

I say BRING. IT. ON!

And don't you even look at Kat. She's ours....back off! (I kill myself when I try to be tough! )



Awesome! See? Now I don't have to unleash my bad-a$$ed self on you! I swear, knowing that I have to report back to the people here makes me get tot he gym when I don't want to! GOOD FOR YOU!

And Happy Birthday!



Love it, love it, love it! I am SO in! The state magnets are perfect, I think! Cheap, easy, doable, etc. PERFECT! I will PM you all of the relevant info.!

The other thing is, Body Boarders....we have to invade the Peeps thread every once in a while and "trash talk" 'em! We do this on the WISH racing teams and it is a riot. Not really trash talk, mind you....but just in fun and light-hearted, etc...

Great idea all the way around!

As for me...started out the week great and hope to keep it that way! Yesterday we had an AWESOME family day (and since those can go either way, this is a good thing!) I woke up early and got my run in for the day. And let me tell you, babes, that is amazing in itself...it was ZERO out there at 6:30 am and the wind was BRUTAL. I only did 2.5 miles, but the victory was that I was out there!

Anyway, we finally realized that we cannot beat all of this snow, so we might as well join it! We bundled up the kids and hit the slopes for the day! (Yes, it costs a small fortune for a family of 5.) But we all had so much fun! And let me tell you, DH and I were both SORE on the drive home...and I still feel it this morning. My leg muscles are trashed from it! But I consider that a good thing. Anyway, it was just a really great, fun, family day.

I woke up this morning, got the kids off to school without a screaming match and hit the gym for a 4.3 mile run. So I am feeling successful for the day!

Now, this gym that I go to is owned by my friends. And while I really like them, what they charge for this TINY gym is really prohibitive...and everything additional is an up-charge. It is really frustrating. But they are the only gym in town...and I know that if I join the [much cheaper, much larger] gym that is 20+ minutes away, I will never go. Anyway, my friend the owner (former olympic fitness trainer) is a wealth of knowledge, so I talked to him about my plateau and he is going to design a training program for me...and NO, not for free. It is gonna cost a lot, but I decided that I am going to give it a try anyway. Nothing else I am trying seems to be working lately and he guarantees this program. So, that is where I am at now.

Ok, time to get some of my "real" work done. I basically took the whole week-end off from work, so I am behind yet again....*sigh*

Have a great day, everyone!

3DK - thanks for the words of encouragement... your Goofy imitation rocks!!!!

KUDOS to you for embracing the winter.... I am still not quite ready to do my walking outside, but I am getting there... I have an MS walk-a-thon to train for. I promised a friend I would do the five mile walk instead of the three mile this year....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DWD!!!

Goof, sorry about the job situation. I am a bad decision maker and agonize over everything, so understand how hard this is.

Kat - Thanks for the words of encouragement.... it is not an easy decision to make and want to be sure I am making the right move...

I'll keep you all posted on how things are going.... In the meantime - when do my new shoes get here....

Goof...

 

[goofyfan-12]

DWD -

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DWD....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!




Hope you have a great day today!!!!!!

Goof