In An Attempt To Keep DD Safe, I Nearly Killed Her

[Feralpeg]

I am the type of mom who worries about everything. So, of course, I'm worried about DD going away to college in the fall. I decided to sign her up at a martial arts place for self defense class.

First of all, DD is out of shape. She hasn't taken gym class in two years and the most strenuous things she does is a little dancing around the house. They started out the class doing jumping jacks and push ups. DD looks over at me like I'm the mom from you know where. She gets through that part and they team her up with another girl for the first self defense lesson.

DD is 5'2" and weighs about 110 pounds. They team her up with a very nice young lady who is almost 6 foot tall and probably has 20 pounds on DD. They start by doing kicks. DD is to hold this big pad thing while the other girl kicks it. DD braces herself and the girl does her first kick. DD is knocked at least 6 foot across the room. I was trying not to laugh because DD is doing that glare thing at me again. This continues several times before they switch places and it is DD's turn to kick. DD gives it her best effort. The other girl barely recoils. It was just pitiful!

Then, it was time for the partners to practice taking each other to the mat. They pretended to punch their partner, then fall to their knee and sweep the other person off their feet. Once down, the person who falls is supposed to try to grab the other person around the waist with their feet.

This time, DD goes first. No matter what she did, she could not put this girl down. I wanted to run over and knock the girl down myself because DD looked so frustrated! Then, they switch places. It took all of 10 seconds for the girl to knock DD down. In fact, she put her down really hard. DD's head smacked the mat really hard. She had her hair back in a ponytail which did not help at all. She had to sit for a minute because she was seeing stars!

Finally, DD was supposed to put her legs around the girls waist as the girl knelt in front of her. DD's legs wouldn't reach around the girl. So funny!

I don't know how great this class will be. There really isn't anyone else in the class near DD's size. Several of the men in the class are black belts! Today, DD can barely move. She told me she'd try another session, but if it doesn't go better she wants to quit. Now, I'm even more worried about her being able to take care of herself!

 

[Christine]

I'm surprised that they did all that on the first lesson.

My kids had to be "trained" on how to hold the thing you kick.

 

[kimwim8]

Oh, your poor DD!! She must be SO sore!

She'll be fine....you've done a great job. Have confidence in that!

 

[alliecats]

I know what you mean about worrying she can take care of herself in real life situations after seeing that. Are those stun gun things you see on TV legal? I have seen them on a lot of fictional tv shows, like Veronica Mars and 24, etc. Didn't know if that was creative licensing or what. But I bet even a tiny 5'2" woman could bring down an attacker with some good old-fashioned electricity applied in the right place.

 

[Feralpeg]

I know what you mean about worrying she can take care of herself in real life situations after seeing that. Are those stun gun things you see on TV legal? I have seen them on a lot of fictional tv shows, like Veronica Mars and 24, etc. Didn't know if that was creative licensing or what. But I bet even a tiny 5'2" woman could bring down an attacker with some good old-fashioned electricity applied in the right place.

The school made it very clear that no forms of tasars are allowed on campus. They can carry pepper spray, but I'm afraid it could be taken from DD and used on her. I'm sure she will be fine, I just thought knowing some moves would be a good idea.

The problem is they don't have beginner classes for her age group. You just join in the class at whatever lesson that is being taught. Actually, I should probably be afraid. Once she knows the moves, I could be in trouble for having put her through this!

 

[YourMajesty]

Wow, that sounds tough. What about you and your DD taking a "beginners" class together? I've always wanted to take a self defense class...but not the one you described! I certainly think you have the right idea...they didn't have to kill her on the first day.

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

Remember if she was ever attacked the person doing it wouldn't be your daughters size. So she's getting the best practice.

 

[dreamflight99]

I'm surprised that they did all that on the first lesson.

My kids had to be "trained" on how to hold the thing you kick.

My thoughts exactly! This class seemed to move to advanced moves and stages very quickly for beginners! Perhaps you should "shop around" some more and find a different studio (using better methods for initiating and TRAINING beginners). She will be sore for a few days (using muscles she has not used in a while). I'm happy to read she's willing to try it again. They also offer these courses IN most all Colleges and Universities. She could look into this and begin a course in school as well (or follow-up on these lessons). Good Luck. My daughter is nearing the completion of her first year of University life! She had a great time, and is amazed at how fast it passed. Congrats on your DD graduating HS, and moving on to College!

TTFN...DF99

As for Tazers/Tasers and stun guns, pepper sprays...etc. My room mate came from the country, and used to carry an old fashioned COW PROD in her back-pack. This would EASILY drop a full grown man...(as it's designed for livestock in the manner pepper spray was initially designed to thwart bears).

It's a stick--and you merely jab/touch the perp with the charged end, and WHAM--down they go. She used it on a friend one night (as he WANTED to see what it felt like in his inebriated state). Needless to say, he not only WENT down...he had an ACCIDENT! LOL.

The newer ones are much more "fancy" than hers...but do the same thing.
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[Hedy]

Isn't your DD a little old to have you signing her up for things?

 

[disneymom3]

Remember if she was ever attacked the person doing it wouldn't be your daughters size. So she's getting the best practice.

Ooh, that is a true but very scary point. Have you looked at community ed in your area? Ours runs a basic self defense class pretty regularly and they start from the beginning.

 

[Jockaroo]

My university offered both a Karate and a Self-Defense class that we could take for our phys. ed. credits. I took the Karate class the first semester it was offered. The only difference was that some of the football players took Karate, and mainly girls took Self-Defense. It was a great class and designed for beginners.

Funny story your daughter can relate to. My regular partner was sick, so I was placed with a very small girl who was a brown-belt level in karate. She was the only non-beginner in the class. I don't know what happened, but I remember her grabbing my hand, then being face down on the wood gym floor. This 98 pound girl flipped me! It did hurt my knee, but my knee was already messed up.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

My DD10 takes karate. When they do demonstrations, they always ask her to demonstrate against a grown man, because they want to show how even a trained child can bring an adult down. Of course, DD has been doing karate for a while. But she's also the smallest kid in the fifth grade.

OP, please encourage your DD to stick with self-defense. Perhaps a different class might be in order, but it's really important. Remember the video of Karly Bruscha (sp?) being led away by her eventual killer? My DD said, "Mom, I could have broken that hold in 5 seconds!" It breaks my heart!

 

[Jpgirl]

LOL you brought back memories of my dh and dd's first Taekwondo class. Dh was king of the couch potatoes and my dd wasn't much better. When they came home they looked like they had been targets all night. It's been 2 years-they're both 2 belts away from their black belts. Dh lost 40 lbs and both have gained much self confidence. Dh regularly spars the younger black belts as there are no guys his age (52) or rank-most of them left. I'm so proud-now dh can keep up with me when biking and working out at the gym. Give your dd lots of encouragement and keep the ice packs and aspirin handy. We've been to the ER twice with each person. I agree with the poster above that if she gets attacked the attacker won't be the same size. She just needs instruction and practice. The Master of our club is about 5'4" and she can whoop her dh who just received his Mastership. She's small but I wouldn't bet against her even if the opponent were 6' and 300lbs. Tell her that a lot of the success is dependent on her knowing the pressure points and weak spots to the bones and joints. Good Luck to her

 

[MrsNick]

Hope your daughter sticks with martial arts training, but it sounds like a different school might be better. It doesn't matter what age she is, there should be a class for beginners. She should not be in the same class with people who are so advanced. And, the fact that the instructor did not pay attention to her, and allowed her to be injured (seeing stars) in the first class tells me that this is not a well organized, well run school.

My DH used to teach karate. So, the thing that she should absolutely continue to do if she elects not to keep taking the class: KEEP DOING THE PUSH-UPS, and not girly push-ups. Real military style push-ups. If she is ever attacked (heaven forbid), she will need all the physical upper body strength she can muster. The idea is for her to be able to punch and use elbows to defend herself, and if she is too weak to do a few push ups, her punches aren't going to be all that effective, either.

Start with one push up, and build until she can do ten. Then fifteen. If she can't do one full military style push up, she should start doing a plank position and hold for 10 seconds for three repetitions, and eventually, she'll be strong enough to do some push-ups.

My DH has me doing push-ups every day. My DH notices the difference in the power of my punches ever since I started doing push ups. Also, in my shoving. Women are at a disadvantage to begin with against men, so the push-ups at least help to minimize the disadvantage. Even if your DD never takes another martial arts class, if she tries to fight off her attacker, that physical strength will at least give her a fighting chance.

 

[ImMarcik]

I am 35 yo, 5'3 115 lbs. About 5 years ago my DD who is a tomboy and not girly like me decided she wanted to take Tae Kwon Do. Well, I got addicted to watching it. It was so fun. After about 6 or 8 months her instructor threw a uniform at me and said to try it on. Haha well then he told me I couldn't return it because I had already used it. So, there began my first class. I am now a black belt, and I love the fitness aspect of it. Hopefully she can find something to love about it. It would definitely put her in shape. And, I promise she will learn self defense. It just may take her a little time to train her brain and her body.

 

[scoutsmom99]

I was going to suggest a community education class as well. I'm gald your dd is going back for another session. I took self defense in high school and in college, thankfully, I have never had to use it yet, but I'm prepared if I have to.

 

[RitaZ.]

Wow, that sounds tough. What about you and your DD taking a "beginners" class together?

I think that's a great idea! DH takes Tae Kwon Do with our boys and they love it.

Your DD is out of her league in that group. You should talk to the grandmaster about some beginning lessons to get you both started.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Maybe you could join too and then you could be DD's partner?

 

[Feralpeg]

Isn't your DD a little old to have you signing her up for things?

Perhaps. She just turned 18. I wanted her to take the class and she agreed. I don't see that as a problem. If she didn't want to take the class, I wouldn't have made her do it.

Thanks for all the input, guys! I think DD and I will talk with the instructor about starting out in another class. There was actually a class just before DD's that looked more like a beginner class. Either way, I'm proud of DD for being a good sport!

 

[chris1gill]

I was also going to recommend starting a more beginner course... this course doesn't sound like a good fit...

Funny story, but our son is 5'0" & weighs about 95 pounds... he's a first degree black belt... He's very good at sparring & he went to karate class last night. Well, it was a sparring class... They won't let him spar the younger or smaller kids because he really goes all out... so they put him with a girl who is about 5'6" or so & about 140 pounds or so, she's much larger than him.. much much larger... well, anyhow, he tied her once & lost four times against her... but imagine, he TIED her once! I said he needs to keep sparring her because it REALLY gives him some good motivation to get better at it than he is & he's quite good now...

Good luck to your daughter, I hope she can start as a beginner and move up safely from there.....