I'm so sad...

[monalsw]

My beloved Grandma died yesterday.

She has been a rock in my life, and has been there for everything that ever happened, good and bad. I lived with her at times, as a child and as an adult-she was more like a mom than a grandma. My best friend, my ally, my mentor.

She came to live at the nursing home where I work 2 yrs ago. I saw her everyday, but weekends (hard to go in and visit-the residents want me to work on their issues whenever I'm there!), and called her every night.

I was kind of hard on her at times; pushing her to eat, to walk, to go out to activities. She preferred to stay in bed. She got so weak, and with congestive heart failure and kidney failure, she got to the point where she couldn't get up anymore.

My mom, sister and I stayed with her Friday, Saturday, Sunday and most of Monday. My sister and I were there alone and when I went out to smoke (shame on me), she died. I wasn't even out of the facility yet. I wanted to be with her, just like she was with me all of my life.

I hurt so much, I feel like part of me is missing. I feel so alone, and I know I'm not, but I feel that way. I have my mom, but was never as close to her as I was to Gram. My sister wasn't as close to Gram. My husband and my kids knew her more when she was sick and I just want to tell them all about her, but I can't get the words out.

I just hope she knew, when I was pushing her to eat and walk, it was because I loved her so much...I didn't want her to get so sick and die, even though I knew she would eventually.

Thanks for being the kind of place that I can post this and try to process the change that has come in my life.

 

[sherry]

I would like to offer my prayers to you in this trying time.

 

[always quiet]

Hugs and prayers for you and your family during this difficult time.

 

[tkyes]

I'm so sorry.

Grandmas are amazing women. Cherish the time you spent with her. Maybe you should write down some memories of her if you can't speak about them yet. It might be theraputic, but you'll also have some wonderful memories of your Grandma written down for everyone to remember her.

{{{hugs}}}


Tamie

 

[Mishetta]

I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news. It's a really difficult thing to go through, losing someone you love. Been there (recently). Nothing can erase your pain ~ no words, nothing. As others have told me, it's the "circle of life." It stinks.

 

[DoeWDW]

I'm so sorry.

She has given you so much. Her legacy will live on in you. I'm sure she knew how very much you loved her.

 

[minniecarousel]

Lisa - I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure she knew how much you loved her. Hang in there.

 

[binny]

(((hugs))) Im so very sorry for your loss.

 

[jamsmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Dan Murphy]

A big {hug}. Lisa, so sorry to hear of Gram's passing. I know she thought of you as you did of her. You gave so much to her, as she to you. Her memories are with you forever. Good thought Tamie had above, write them down.

And when you are at the World in a few weeks, have some happy thoughts with her memories, so many happy ones for sure.

Hugs,

Dan

 

[mamajoan]

God Bless you and your family. May the multitude of memeories that your Grandmother gave you keep you close.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

She sounds like a wonderful woman. I'm very sorry.

 

[tc]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. What a blessing you had to be able to be so close to your Gram. But the closer you are, the more it hurts when they are gone. I am sure she knows how much you loved her, and your prodding her to eat and exercise were because of that love.

Take this time to think about the love you shared, and, eventually, you'll be able to share with your family all the wonderful memories. That way you can keep a part of her alive, in your and your families memories.

Prayers and pd that the pain will not last forever.

 

[CourtasanSatine]

((((hugs))))

 

[RUDisney]

I'm so sorry about your loss. The sun rose and the moon set on my Gramma, too. The pain will ease, but the memories you have will be cherished forever. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about my wonderful Gram. I'm sure the same will be true for you.

 

[nativetxn]

{{HUGS}}} sweetie. I'm so sorry that your grandmother has died. I'm sure, though, that she was very aware that everything you did, everything thing you pushed her to do, was done because you love her so dearly. Remember, if you lived with her as a child, she pushed you for your own good too and she did <i>that</i> because <i>she</i> loved <i>you</i>.

She knew, honey, never doubt it for one single second. I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. How lucky you are that you had a grandmother you loved so well and who loved you just as much.

We're here if you need to talk so don't feel alone. I can only offer cyber {{{HUGS}}} but they are heartfelt. We're always here if you need us, never forget that.

Katholyn

 

[KJo719]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[vald1977]

So sorry for your loss, Lisa. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with your Gram. I hope your happy memories will give you some comfort during this dificult time.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Prayers to you and your family.

Growing up, I always thought losing my Grandma would be the most difficult thing in my life. I too was VERY close to her and often lived with them during the week while my parents worked. Little did I know that I would lose my Dear mother first at the age of 66. Grandma lived on another 10 years, and died just short of her 94th Birthday. Be thankful for the years you had and praise her in every way you can in death. I will honor both of these wonderful women in my life for what I have left of mine.

 

[MickeysMommy]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.