I'm "retireing"

[crisi]

I'm not sure if its retiring or taking a sabbatical or spending a few years as a stay at home mom (something I never thought I'd do), but my husband has accepted a new job, and I have decided to leave mine.

His pay increase will cover 50% of my salary. This year his signing bonus will cover the rest

Our kids college educations are pretty well funded.

Our retirement accounts look really good

The house has a mortgage on it, but its small and the money is in the bank to cover it, otherwise no debt.

Additionally, there is a lot more money in the bank, and in the stock market - a few more years of my salary

When he leaves his current job, deferred compensation will kick in, which will give us a few more years of my salary

And

I switched jobs a year and a half ago, and it hasn't been a good fit for me.

My son is having some "teenage troubles" and requires more supervision now. Mostly he needs someone to chase him on homework - but he also just needs someone to make sure that the fourteen year old brain does not over ride common sense. My daughter has hit thirteen and her teenage transformation is starting to take hold.

My husband's new job will be much more demanding with a lot more at stake and have a longer commute. He won't be sharing the housework and the orthodontist appointments. My own job really should get MORE time than I'm able to give it now.

So I'm going to take at least a year off - and maybe never go back (although I suspect I'll get really bored and end up back when my son stops needing a full time mom).

I've always said I'd be a really bad stay at home mom - and I would have been of little kids. But I think I'll be ok at it with teenagers. I'm looking forward to having some time to do the things that get put off in this house because we haven't made a block of time to - oh, clean out junk in the basement. We want to do some work on the house - like finish the basement, and I'd want someone home if I'm having construction crews wander through. Wish me luck on brushing up on Algebra - its been a few years.

 

[windycitymom]

You're not asking for advice, but I agree you are making the right decision (especially that you can afford it). Teenagers need a lot of supervision and guidance and I'm glad you are in a position where you can do that.

I stayed home with my kids through high school so I was the mom doing the refreshment stand at High School games, carpooling, etc. Our house was full of their friends because my rule was you couldn't go over to a friend's house if a parent wasn't home.

My boys started leaving for college, the recession hit and I went back to an office job. It took a couple years to find the right job, but I'm now in a job I enjoy. I was never bored staying home and enjoyed it very much. The teenager years aren't easy but you can make it through

 

[Styx Fan]

How wonderful you are in a position to give this a try With my kids it seems as if the teen years are really the age they need me at home. Don't get me wrong....I loved being home with them young and not having to do daycare. But for teens it is either parents on board or nothing.

My DH also works long hours and is not really able to part of the after school round of doc appts, group projects, sports, clubs, etc. If we are lucky, he is able to have dinner with us a few evenings a week. I know there are families that successfully make it work with 2 full time careers, and work very well. For me, I am much less stressed being home. We are not as well off financially as you are, so money is a bit of stress at times, but we we are secure.

My DS is a sophomore and DD a 4th grader and both profit greatly by my being home. Especially with DS having his first real girlfriend. They are here quite a bit after school since I am home. His guy friends are a good group, but I still feel better when they hang out at a home that isn't empty until 5 or 6. Well at least the days he doesn't have soccer or band or something. He isn't driving yet, something that would have to change ($$$) if I was working.

DD is a real homebody and loves being able to come home to Mom after school. She has her own share of activities that would be tough if i wasn't here.

Not going to kid you, there are times I am so bored I could scream. Luckily, since I have been home since DS was 6, I made some friends when DD was a baby through a mom's club. Some of them are still at home moms. We all volunteer at the elementary school, at our churches or elsewhere. But we still find time to get together a few times a month for breakfast or lunch. That helps a lot. Give it some time and you will find more than enough ways to keep busy and productive while the kids are in school. I have come to cherish the quiet hours of the day when everyone is gone. Especially since come 2:30 it is crazy until bedtime. But like any change, it can take some time to settle into your new routine and find what works for you.

 

[eliza61]

Best of luck to you Crisi, please let us know how your doing. I'm toying with the idea also. I've had some huge life changes and I seriously don't like my new position.

Anyhoo, wishing you much success, you go girl.

 

[pocomom]

Congrats!
I agree about teenagers needing supervision and guidance, especially if you are starting to see a little trouble... I quit to stay home with my dsd when my husband and I got married. She had a lot of issues, and dh could have never handled all the appointments and keeping an eye on her and his high stress job. Plus school schedules and whatnot. Enjoy your decision! A word of advice after the first couple of weeks you can really start to miss adult companionship during the day, think about volunteering or making a recurring lunch date with a friend weekly or something along that lines. Best Wishes!

 

[bababear_50]

Best Wishes Crisi

The teen years can be very difficult (single mom of three boys ) here,
actually they are now all grown 20 year olds. My first two were a breeze but the youngest almost put me over the edge. He just finished his last day of College Friday and has an interview with our local Board of Education on Monday.I'm so proud of him!

Hugs to YOU!

Mel

 

[Aliceacc]

Congratulations!!!!

I did 5 years as a SAHM when the kids were little, and they were fabulous. I found some volunteer work that enabled me to really make a difference, and it got me through the rough times.

 

[laurafergie]

That's great! I was fortunate enough to be able to rearrange my schedule back when older DDs were in Juniors in high school, to be home when they got off the bus, and it made SUCH a difference. I've continued with younger DDs even though It means I'm underemployed, but everything runs so much more smooth. The kids are so calm. I think you'll really be glad you made this choice.

 

[Darcy03231]

Good for you!

We were lucky in that DH was home from work within 45 min to an hour of our kids getting home when they were teens. Actually, most days he was home before them as they all had afterschool activities and he picked them up from school.

 

[crisi]

Thanks all. I'm sort of divided about it. I've never really been the type to be "dependent" on my husband - and intellectually I know that isn't the case in our partnership, but emotionally, something still sticks. And I've always enjoyed having a career. But lately I don't seem to feel that the balance is right - I'm either working, or raising kids, or having me time - and the last two things are out of whack because of the emotional energy I'm spending on the first. And it isn't even just the TIME, its the emotional energy.

I haven't told my boss yet. My husband has told his boss, but they are avoiding some uncertainty by keeping the news under wraps while some decisions are made, so he can't tell work. Since many of my friends have ties to his work, I can't tell my friends yet - so you are the first to know (other than my mom).

 

[kirstenb1]

Congratulations, and welcome to the group!!! I substitute teach, so I consider myself a sahm, just because my schedule is the same as the kids'. One of my Mom's friends used to always say she wished she'd been a sahm when her kids were teens, because she thought they needed her worse then, than when they were little.

I think you'll enjoy being able to tackle the home projects you mentioned. Best of luck in this new chapter of your life!

 

[lisaross]

I think you are making the right decision. I am sure it will take some time getting use to, but your kids need you!

If you get bored during the day when they are in school, you can also join a gym and you'll be sure to meet other woman at home!

Don't let other posts bother you....someone always has a rude comment

 

[Mrs Eeyore]

I quit working when my youngest was born and for us it has been TOUGH financially. You are very lucky to be comfortable doing this, and I admit I am slightly jealous. But despite the financial hardship for us, we never doubted that we did the right thing for our girls in providing them with a full-time parent. They are in high school now and doing great. I feel good knowing I've always been available for them and I believe they feel valued and secure. You're doing a good thing.

 

[goofyredraider]

Congratulations! I made basically the same decision recently. Some people still don't understand it, but I felt it was right in my heart, and in the end, that is all that matters.

Pay no mind to Attention Seeker.

 

[disney1990]

Good luck with your decision!

 

[wendow]

I wish you the best in your decision! I very much enjoy being home with my dc. It's not always easy but it's always been worth it for me.

 

[BWV Dreamin]

I just made the same decision as you, but I have no kids at home to blame it on! My government job was the worst job ever. I stuck it out until this past December. We paid off our home, got my kids through college, built up a pretty good bank account, paid off cars and CC. No debt. In December, things were again changing and I decided to end my employment.

At first it felt very liberating. I could finally sleep in, clean during the week, grocery shop on a Monday. I got really caught up with the chores and house projects.

My spending habits needed to change. This was the hardest. Just couldn't run right out and buy it. Really planned our dinners, made grocery lists, yes started back using coupons. This has been the biggest hurdle but now I embrace it!! Today I saved $7.50 in coupons on top of the store sales. Baby steps

I yearned for some adult interaction. I work at the moment in a part time seasonal position ( good only for 5 months). Totally see a different side of life, but I appreciate it. I am thinking about going back to college to become a medical assistant (10 month program) so I am saving up my seasonal pay to go towards the tuition.

My biggest concern is healthcare. My husband is 9 years older, and when he retires his job does not have retirement healthcare. This is my only concern about returning to the workplace. Otherwise, I love staying at home.

Life is too short. There will always be some reason not to quit working. I think peace of mind and your gut feelings are the best indicators. I have never regretted leaving the workforce. I wish you the all the best!!!

 

[skriegerjr]

OP posted for no reason but to be a braggart.

Posted from my Cray Supercomputer....

Exalted leader remind you of anyone?

Sent from my rooted Samsung Galaxy SIII using the DISBoards app

 

[Dsnyfireman]

And with the name " the exalted leader" your not tooting your own horn? Sounds like sour grapes to me. Good luck on your new adventure. Anyone who says staying home with kids isn't work, hasn't done it! Lol!!!

 

[eliza61]

LOL.

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain"